Regular Show Wiki
Regular Show Wiki
This page is the transcript for "Welcome to Space".

(Episode begins in outer space. The dome-sealed park rocket comes into view. The guys and Eileen are groaning.)

Sureshot: Looks like the newbies can't handle lightspeed, allow me to introduce you to my compatriots. Toothpick Sally, Recap Robot...

Recap Robot: Hello, hi.

Sureshot: And yours truly, Chance Sureshot. (Twirls his blaster and drops it) We're here. That's the Space Tree, home.

Guys: Whoa.

Rigby: Check out all the other domes.

(The park dome lands in an empty spot, cut to Col. Ralws' office)

Col. Rawls: You left these new recruits drifting for how long?!

Sureshot: Uh, maybe 2 days.

Col. Rawls: 2 days?! If you were on time, maybe they wouldn't have been boarded by Reaper bots. Real rookie maneuver, Sureshot. Now get down and give me 300, you miserable sack of space puke.

Sureshot: Uh, yes sir. (Gets down and starts doing push-ups)

Col. Rawls: Ahem, as for the rest of you, welcome to space, I'm Colonel Rawls, insert pleasantries here.

Benson: Hi. Benson here, quick question, WHAT IS GOING ON?!

(Cut to everyone watching an initiation video)

Male voice: Congrats, new domers. You have been selected to take part in the next frontier in recreation, the SPARK Initiative.

Benson: Spark? (gasp) space park.

Rigby: Shh.

Male voice: Our operatives on Earth determined you would be a good fit for this mission. Over the next few months, this space station will be your home, you'll train with the best from around the world, then you'll be sent off on your own to explore pristine space wilderness so that this can become this. After that, you'll go to the [BLEEP] system, where you'll protect [BLEEP] as you arrive at [BLEEP]

Col. Rawls: (Runs in front of the screen) Uh, that's classified for now, so who's jazzed about this? (Everyone but Benson cheers) I see one guy who isn't jazzed.

Benson: So we're being forced to do this?

Col. Rawls: Well, this is purely a volunteer mission to benefit mankind.

Benson: Well I don't volunteer. (He leaves the room)

Col. Rawls: That's different.

Eileen: Why can't Benson see that this is gonna be really cool?

Skips: He's afraid to try something new.

Pops: The park wouldn't be the same without him.

Rigby: We gotta get him on board.

(Cut to the barracks)

Sureshot: And this here's the Barracks.

Rigby: Cool, bunk beds.

Mordecai: Benson, check it out cool pillows.

Benson: Those pillows are not cool at all and neither is space.

Eileen: Actually, Benson, I hate to disagree, but living in space is the definition of cool. I mean, I just got goosebumps saying that.

Benson: Um, again; basically kidnapped and forced to do this.

Rigby: What's the matter, Benson? You can have top bunk if you want.

Benson: (Sarcastically) Oh, the top bunk, now I definitely wanna stay in space. (To Muscle Man) Muscle Man, what about Starla?

Muscle Man: Starla would be proud, Besides, I know our love will stand the test of time. (He holds up a picture of him and Starla signed "Our love will stand the test of time. Starla" and kisses the photo)

Benson: Well, Fives, what about Celia?

Hi-Five Ghost: Ditto. (Pulls out a photo of him and Celia signed "Ditto -Celia")

Benson: I can't believe you people! Those scientists lied to us. MR. MAELLARD LIED TO US!! UGH, I WANNA GO HOME!!! (He storms out)

Skips: This is gonna be harder than we thought.