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This page is the transcript for "This Is My Jam".

(Mordecai and Rigby are cleaning out the gutters of the house. Mordecai picks up the dirty leaves and puts them into a bucket)

Mordecai: Augh! This is the worst.

Rigby: I don't know, I kind of like it up here. The world seems different at this height. It makes me feel like a giant! (Roars)

Mordecai: What? Look, we're not up here to enjoy the view, so will you just come and help me clean these gutters?

Rigby: I'm helping, I'm holding the hose. Look, I'm taking a giant leak. (Positions the hose to his crotch, turns it on and pretends to pee) Ohhhhh.

Mordecai: Yeah, well, you don't need those gloves to hold the hose. (holds up hands) Look at this dude. Come on, let me wear them!

Rigby: Sorry man, you should have thought about that before you threw paper, and lost to my scissors.

Mordecai: Augh! Whatever, dude. Just hose this stuff off.

(Rigby hoses the leaves out of the gutter. A cassette tape is launched into the air and hits Mordecai in the head)

Mordecai: Agh! (Tape falls to the ground) What the heck?!

Rigby: Uh, sorry man.

Mordecai: (Picks up tape) Weird, it's a tape. Wonder what it's doing up in the gutter.

Rigby: Maybe it fell out of a plane.

Mordecai: Nah, it's probably just trash. I wanna see how far I can chuck it.

Rigby: Wait!

Mordecai: What?

Rigby: Don't you wanna see what band it is?

Mordecai: Oh, okay. (wipes dirt off of tape to reveal the words "Solid Bold") Solid Bold? Augh, it's that single of that summertime song.

Rigby: "Summertime Loving: Loving in the Summer (Time)"? (Mordecai looks at the tape. It says exactly what Rigby said)

Mordecai: Yeah.

Rigby: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (grabs tape) Aw, this is my jam right here!

Mordecai: (annoyed) What? This song sucks.

Rigby: Nah, you were all into it too, I remember.

Mordecai: Yeah, just for that one summer in junior high and then I realized how lame it was.

Rigby: Whatever, man. Once we pop this into the stereo, all the good memories will come flooding back, and you'll see. You'll see who's jam it is.

Mordecai: (annoyed) I'm not listening to that trash.

Rigby: You need to get your mind out of these gutters, and into the summer.

Mordecai: Fine, but only because I want to take a break.

(Cut to Rigby putting tape in the stereo. The song starts)

Singer: It's summertime, and you know what that means. Gonna head down to the beach, gonna do some beachy things. It's summertime and it feels just right.

Rigby: Yea-uh!

Singer: Gonna gather all my friends and we'll party through the night. It's summertime, lo-o-ovin'. Lovin' in the summertime. (It's summertime) Summertime lo-o-ovin'. Baby, why can't you be mine?

Rigby: Okay, this song's lame.

Mordecai: (uninterested) I told you, man.

Singer: Summertime...

(Rigby ejects tape and throws tape into garbage)

Rigby: Man, I guess some stuff just doesn't hold on.

Mordecai: Now you're making sense, and now I'm making snacks.

(cut to Mordecai and Rigby eating sandwiches)

Rigby: It's summertime... (eats sandwich) Lo-o-ovin'... (eats again) Loving in the summertime.

Mordecai: (confused) What are you doing?

Rigby: (oblivious)What?

Mordecai: You're singing that song.

Rigby: (surprised) I am?

Mordecai: (now annoyed) Yes, please stop. It's annoying.

Rigby: I guess it's pretty catchy.

(Rigby confusedly eats his sandwich. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby cleaning the gutters. Rigby takes a leak like before)

Rigby: Summertime lo-o-ovin'. Baby, why can't you be mi-

Mordecai: Dude!

(cut to Mordecai and Rigby watching television. Rigby still singing.)

Rigby: Gonna head down to the beach, gonna do some beachy things.

Mordecai: Dude!

(cut to Mordecai and Rigby walking in the park, Rigby sings again, however, Mordecai is annoyed by this song, unable to take it anymore.)

Rigby: It's summertime lo-o-o-

Mordecai: (blows up in annoyance) Dude! Quit it!

Rigby: I'm sorry, I can't help it, it's stuck in my head, and I can't get it out.

Mordecai: Well, for my sanity and yours, we gotta get that song outta there.

Rigby: Yeah, okay.

(clock transition to Mordecai and Rigby in their room)

Mordecai: Okay, okay. I've got the perfect solution: Brain Explosion.

Rigby: What? You can't explode my brain. That's gotta be illegal.

Mordecai: (holds up CD) No, the band, Brain Explosion.

Rigby: Oh, never heard of them.

Mordecai: Yeah, I know, you wouldn't have. You gotta be in the know to know, you know.

Rigby: No.

Mordecai: And that's why you've never heard of them. But trust me, these guys are like real, real musicians. Just listen to some of this, and It will throw that poppy trash music right out of your head. (puts CD in stereo)

[CD plays a triphoppy song]

Mordecai: Wait, wait... Aw man, that's like the best part. [glares at Rigby sleeping] Rigby!

Rigby: [startles] Lovin' in the summertime. What? Ah, I think your song just put me to sleep.

Mordecai: [turns stereo off] Man, you have no taste in music.

Rigby: Look, all I know is that this song is still stuck in my head.

Mordecai: Alright, well, what if we sit down and listen to the entire summertime song beginning to end. [retrieves summertime casette from trash] That way your brain'll have closure and then it can move on. [puts casette into stereo]

Singer: It's summertime and you know what that means. Gonna head down to the beach, gonna do some beachy things.

Mordecai: [walks out of room] I can't stand this, I'm gonna wait outside.

Singer: It's summertime and it feels just right. gonna gather all my friends and we'll party through the night...

[Timeskip where Rigby is sitting on the bed, song is still playing]

Singer: Summertime lo-o-ovin'. Baby, why can't you be mine?

[Timeskip where Rigby is lying against the nightstand, song is still playing]

Singer: Summertime lo-o-ovin'. Lovin' in the summertime.

[Rigby turns tape off, Mordecai opens the door]

Mordecai: Well, did it work?

Rigby: (in the tune of the song) I think it worked, but I can't be sure. So maybe I should listen to the song a little bit more.

Mordecai: Aw, man! It's even worse now. Time to take a different approach.

[Montage of Mordecai and Rigby doing various things to get the song unstuck, like sticking Rigby's head in a toilet, using loud objects and finally Muscle Man hitting Rigby on the head with a broom. Cut to Rigby taking his helmet off]

Rigby: Wait. Stop. Stop. It's not working. The stupid song's still stuck in my head.

Muscle Man: You have a song stuck in your head?

[Rigby throws helmet at Muscle Man, much to his annoyance. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby in their bedroom]

Mordecai: Man, we're running out of options here. Let's see.

[The song starts playing]

Mordecai: Dude, turn it off, I'm trying to think. Dude, stop playing the tape we've already tried- [turns and gasps]

[Rigby is floating with a purple beam coming out of his mouth and pupils dilated. He suddenly goes back to normal and the song stops playing]

Mordecai: Dude, what's wrong with you?!

Rigby: I don't- [floats again, goes back to normal] -know! I can't- [floats again, goes back to normal] -control it! [floats again]

Mordecai: We gotta find Skips.

[Cut to Mordecai and Rigby in Skips' room]

Skips: Yeah, I've seen this before. Hold still. [holds floating Rigby and punches him]

Rigby: Oww! What was that for?!

Skips: You're not thinking about the song anymore, are you?

[Skips and Mordecai laugh]

Rigby: It's not funny- [floats again, goes back to normal] -see and it didn't even work.

Skips: Look, seriously, I don't know what's wrong with you. Just sleep it off, you'll probably forget about it in the morning.

[Cut to Rigby's mind whilst sleeping. The background is empty]

Dream Rigby: Hello? [walks] Hello?

[Large speaker emerges from ground playing the song. Rigby runs and another speaker emerges]

Dream Rigby: Get out, get out! [screams]

[Rigby digs into his ear and pulls out the cassette and throws it far away. He laughs victoriously but suddenly, a giant shadow emerges and runs towards Rigby. Rigby wakes up]

Rigby: The song. It's gone! [runs to Mordecai who is asleep.] Mordecai! Mordecai!

Mordecai: Huh? What's up?

Rigby: The song's not in my head anymore!

Mordecai: That's awesome, dude. Now we never have to hear that dumb song again.

(Suddenly, they hear the song again. Mordecai and Rigby gasp. To Mordecai's and Rigby's horror, they realize that the situation has gone much worse than they thought. Although, they were able to get the casket out of Rigby's head, but now with the cassette free, it manifestated itself into physical form. Now he's large cassette with stick arms and legs and red sunglasses.)

Mordecai: What the heck is that?

(The giant cassette continues to play.)

Rigby: (horrified) I have no idea what I'm looking at.

Mordecai: I think the song must've left your head and manifested itself into a physical form.

Rigby: Well, does it have an "Off" switch?

Mordecai: I don't know.

Rigby: Hey, dancing song dude! Knock it off! Dude, come on, quit it! Seriously, man! I'm sick of this song!

[Cassette drums on Rigby's head]

Rigby: Get off! [tackles cassette and goes right through it] Oh my gosh, it's a ghost tape!

Mordecai: Dude. Calm down. It's not a ghost. It's just music. You can't touch music. But music can touch you.

Rigby: Oh, barf. How do we get rid of it?

Mordecai: I don't know. If we just ignore it, it'll probably just go away.

[Montage of Mordecai and Rigby doing everyday activities with the cassette dancing around them. Everyone, especially Benson, gets annoyed, Benson leaves in annoyance as the others walk away extremely irritated. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby. Unable to stand anymore of this song, the duo are seen going into a room and locking it.]

Mordecai: Dude that's it, we gotta do something about this.

Rigby: What can we do? He's unstoppable!

Mordecai: We gotta fight fire with fire.

Rigby: Dude, hello. Fire's just gonna go right through him.

Mordecai: No dude, we gotta battle him with our own song.

Rigby: What?

Mordecai: We're gonna write the cheesiest, most repetitive, catchiest song ever, and we'll see how he likes it.

Rigby: Aw, snap!

Mordecai: And that's the perfect title!

[Cassette comes running down the hall then walks through the wall]

Mordecai: Come on!

[Mordecai and Rigby exit. They run into Pops]

Mordecai and Rigby: Pops!

Mordecai: We need you to distract the "Summertime" Song.

Pops: But I can't stand that song.

Mordecai: I know. We're gonna get rid of it for good. But we need you to buy us some time, so just go dance with him and pretend like you're having fun.

Pops: Alright, then.

Mordecai: Thanks, Pops.

[Mordecai and Rigby run away]

Pops: But I'm not going to use my best dance moves!

[Cassette comes up to Pops. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby opening the garage door and walking up to the keyboard]

Mordecai: Okay, song, song... [plays some notes] Okay, we'll just repeat that. And lyrics, go.

Rigby: Uh, Summertime loving.

Mordecai: No, dude, come on. Give me something I can use. What do you like?

Rigby: Partying.

Mordecai: Yeah, uh huh. Uh huh.

Rigby: Macaroni. Oh, naps! I love naps.

Mordecai: Alright, good enough.

Skips: Okay, I'm here. And I brought my bass.

Mordecai: Wait. How did you...

Skips: I know everything, remember?

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa...

Skips: Nah, I'm just yanking you. I was on the can and I heard your plan.

Mordecai and Rigby: Ugh!

Skips: Let's roll.

[Cut to Pops and the cassette]

Mordecai: (on walkie talkie) Pops, come in, Pops.

Pops: Yes, hello?

Mordecai: I need you to lure the "summertime" song outside, okay?

Pops: Yes, okay. [to the cassette] The party continues this way, my friend.

[Pops and the cassette run down the stairs. Cut to Mordecai, Rigby and Skips setting up]

Mordecai: Okay, get ready guys.

Muscle Man: Wait up! Don't start the party without us, fellas.

Mordecai: Whoa! Muscle Man, you play something?

Skips: Yeah, Muscle Man blows a mean piece of brass.

Muscle Man: Yeah. [plays some notes on his trumpet] And you know who else blows a mean piece of brass?

Rigby: Here they come!

Mordecai: Pops!

[Pops runs to the keyboard]

Rigby: [tapping tambourine] One, two, three, four!

Mordecai, Rigby, Skips and Pops: Aw, snap! Aw, snap! Come to our macaroni party and we'll take a nap. Aw, snap! Aw, snap! Come to our macaroni party and we'll take a nap. Aw, snap! Aw, snap! Come to our macaroni party and we'll take a nap....

[Cassette hits back with sound waves by playing the song. The waves drown them out]

Mordecai: Louder! Come on!

Mordecai, Rigby, Skips and Pops: Aw, snap! Aw, snap! Come to our macaroni party and we'll take a nap. Aw, snap! Aw, snap! Come to our macaroni party and we'll take a nap.

[Their sound waves knock the cassette over. The cassette shoots a purple beam and they shoot out a green one. Two giant musicians appear in the sky and fight.]

Mordecai, Rigby, Skips and Pops: Aw, snap! [slower] Aw, snap! [more slower] Aw, snap!

[The combined sound waves knock down the Snack Bar and shatter Benson's window. Benson looks out his window and runs out the door. The cassette's giant musician overpowers their giant musician]

Rigby: He's too strong!

Mordecai: No, we can do it!

[Mordecai collapses and sees Benson driving the golf cart towards them]

Mordecai: Oh, shoot! Benson!

Benson: [stops the cart] Unbelievable!

Mordecai: Look Benson, we didn't mean-

Benson: [gets on top of the cart] You guys forgot the most important thing about writing a catchy song. [reveals a drum set on top of the cart]

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa!

Benson: It's gotta have a beat. [begins drumming impressively]

[Benson taps his drum sticks and they resume playing]

Benson, Mordecai, Rigby, Skips and Pops: Aw, snap! Aw, snap! Come to our macaroni party and we'll take a nap.

[Their giant musician begins overpowering the cassette's giant musician.]

Benson, Mordecai, Rigby, Skips and Pops: Aw, snap! Aw, snap! Come to our macaroni party and we'll take a nap. Aw, snap!

[Their giant musician smashes the cassette's giant musician, the cassette explodes.]

Mordecai: Man, Benson, that was amazing. I didn't know you could play the drums like that.

Benson: Well, it's a funny story.

Rigby: [pupils dilated] Aw, snap! Aw, snap! Come to our macaroni party and we'll take a nap. Aw, snap! Aw, snap! Come to our macaroni party and we'll take a nap.

Everyone except Rigby: (much to their dismay and horror) Nooo!

[End of 'This Is My Jam']