OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "Think Positive".


(Pops is laughing as he chases a butterfly with a jar. He jumps up into the air, but it keeps on flying. The butterfly lands on a bush. Pops comes up from behind the bush. He's about to catch it when...)
Benson (off-screen) Come on! You know that's not the way you're supposed to do it!
(The butterfly Pops almost caught flies away. Benson, Mordecai and Rigby are seen by a shrub holding a chainsaw.)
Mordecai Well, this way is totally faster.
Rigby Yeah, cuts the time in half.
Benson Well, you're actually cutting it in half, you idiots!
(The chainsaw fails to start.) Oh, and great, you managed to break the saw in the process! (Annoyed, Pops walks away)
Benson Now we're gonna have to buy a new one!
(The scene cuts to the garden where Pops is drawing a rose on a notebook. He's on the stem, when...)
Benson What are you guys doing?!
(Pops draws a line in the wrong place)
Benson Soda?! You can't use soda!
Mordecai Yeah, but the hose...
Benson Oh, what? It's too hard to get the hose off the shed?!
(Pops looks on as he draws)
Benson Unbelievable!
Rigby Well, at least it's diet. Nobody drinks that.
Benson I drink diet!
(Pops scribbles his drawing and grunts angrily and walks away in anger and frustration)
Benson Not only did you guys ruin the hose...
(The scene cuts to Pops in his office, playing with army men)
Pops Okay, men, this is the hour of our prominence. On my signal, charge! Whoa...
Benson You've GOT to be kidding me!
(Pops lays back, making a very irritated face expression) (Cut to outside. The golf cart is scratched up, and Mordecai is holding wood)
Benson Give me that! What is this, SANDPAPER?! (looks at the cart) You're scratching up the whole thing!
Pops Benson, would you come see me for a moment please?
Mordecai and Rigby Oh, somebody's busted!
Benson Oh, grow up.
Mordecai and Rigby (rapping) B-b-b-busted
Benson's b-b-busted!
(The scene transitions to Pops' office.)
Benson (sighs) What is it, Pops? I'm in the middle of something.
Pops Have a seat.
(Benson sits down and sighs)
Pops Do you know why I called you in here?
Benson Did you lose the colonel again? Try under your hat.
(Pops sees the colonel under hat, then puts the army men in a drawer)
Pops It's a problem concerning Mordecai and Rigby.
Benson What else is new? Don't worry, Pops, I'll take care of it.
Pops Then we understand each other?
Benson Absolutely. I've already warned them, one more screw up and they're both fired.
Pops But, Benson, I was referring to you.
Benson (confused) What?
Pops I'd like you to stop yelling at Mordecai and Rigby.
Benson (scoffs) You're kidding.
Pops Quite the opposite. It's too negative and bad for morale.
Benson What morale? Those slackers never do anything unless you yell at them.
Pops There's never a reason to yell at anyone.
Benson They give me a million reasons every day! (scoffs) You just want me to be nice to them?
Pops You don't have to be nice. Just don't yell.
Benson (sighs) Listen, Pops, I appreciate the concern, but I know how to do my job.
Pops Benson, I think it's clear that my father puts me in charge of running the park when he's not around, right?
Benson Yes, but...
Pops And that means you must do what I say.
Benson Technically, but I...
Pops And I am ordering you to stop yelling at Mordecai and Rigby.
Benson Pops...
Pops (sternly) Understood?
Benson Understood.
(The scene cuts to outside. Benson walks down the stairs to the cart.)
Rigby So what did Pops want?
Benson Noth... You guys are STILL NOT...
(Benson realizes he's yelling, so he talks through his teeth.)
Benson ...guys are still not done.
Mordecai What? You told us to take it nice and easy.
Rigby Yeah, I get it now. It takes time to do things right.
Mordecai You rush, you make mistakes.
Benson (facepalming) That's not the point I was trying to make.
Mordecai And then we started thinking—why clean something anyways? Dirt is a natural thing. It's like part of life, you know.
(Benson turns red and sizzles)
Rigby Yeah, and like, what is a hose? Hose.
Mordecai Hose.
Rigby Hose?
Mordecai (off-screen) Hose.
Rigby (off-screen) Hose.
(Benson growls, still red.)
Rigby Yeah, exactly. But when you turn it on...
(Rigby accidentally sprays water on Benson.)
Rigby Sorry.
Benson (furiously) GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!
(Mordecai and Rigby run away.)
Pops Benson, what did we just discuss?
Benson Yeah, but come on, Pops, they were totally...
Pops Benson, I'm serious about this issue. Now, if you yell at them again, I'm going to have to write you up.
Benson (rubs face and growls) Okay, okay. I'll try to get it under control.

(Clock transition to computer room. Benson's on the computer searching "Free anger management tips")

Benson: "Recite a personal mantra. Omm"? What does that even mean? Next. (searches again)

Fitch: Oh, hello, friend! I'm Fitch Munderson. (A dog runs up to him) And this is Kimmy.

Benson: Okay, where's this going? (fast-forwards the video)

Fitch: We have a sure-fire way to help you control your anger, for only $60.

Benson: Nope. (Searches again while the screen is loading, then clicks several times while the screen is still loading) Ugh, come on! Close! (growls) Omm, omm, omm, omm, omm, omm. (sighs) Huh. I guess it works.

(Cut to downstairs. The whole place has been torn apart. Mordecai and Rigby are seen searching for something)

Mordecai: Hey, Benson. Have you seen the keys to the cart?

Benson: Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm.

Rigby: We can't find them anywhere. (breaks the vase) Uh-oh.

(From the window, two people are seen driving the cart)

Mordecai: Never mind. I think I know where they are.

Benson: RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

(Mordecai and Rigby scream and then they run away.)

Pops: (infuriated) Benson! I warned you! (Writes on clipboard)

Benson: Pops, you're writing me up?

Pops: You know what happens next, don't you? (Hands Benson the paper)

Benson: Of course. Verbal warning, write up, fired. But you wouldn't fire me, Pops.

Pops: I'll do what I must.

Benson: What?! Pops, you can't take this job away from me! It's all I have!

Pops: I'm sorry, Benson. If you yell at Mordecai and Rigby again, I'll be forced to fire you.

(Pops leaves. Benson turns red and begins to jump several times while grunting in anger)

Skips: Jeez, Benson, try counting to ten. (Benson turns around and grunts) Better make it a hundred.

(Skips leaves)

Benson: One, two... (Cut to outside) ...seven, eight, nine... (Cuts to near the shed) ...75, 76, 77... (Stops and sees Mordecai and Rigby covered in pink paint laughing)

Mordecai: Oh! Hey, Benson, what's up? We're finally painting the shed.

(Rigby throws himself on the wall, followed by Mordecai, who goes through the wall)

Benson: (Turns red and growls) 78, 79, 80, 81...

Rigby: Dude, what's he doing?

Benson: (Continues counting) 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87....

Mordecai: I dunno. But what do you think he'll do when he gets to a hundred?

Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson: ...88, 89, 90, 91... (Benson stops and growls)

Mordecai and Rigby: ...92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99...

(Cut to Benson walking into Corners bookstore. Benson puts the Fitch & Kimmy book on the table, leaving a hot handprint. The cashier checks the book, then, Benson walks out as the scene cuts to Benson's apartment, room 1635. Benson inserts the tape into the Walkman and rests)

Fitch: (Over Walkman) The key to managing your anger is control. For example: One should never yell, even if it's to pass the salt.

(Zoom into Benson's eyes. He has a flashback to when he was a little younger and his family was all talking loudly at the dinner table)

Young Benson: Pass the salt, please.

Benson's Father: Quiet! Benson has something he wants to say.

Young Benson: (embarrassed and blushing) Um, pass--

Benson's Father: Look here, son! You're never gonna get anything in this life if you don't yell for it!

Young Benson: (starts raising his voice) Pass... Pass the salt!

Benson's Dad: Atta boy!

(Benson's dad passes the salt shaker to Benson. Suddenly, an earthquake occurs, showing a giant angry Pops ripping off the roof)

Pops: Benson! You're fired! (Points at Young Benson)

Young Benson: NOOOOOO! (Ripple transition back into Benson in his apartment. Enraged, Benson steps on and throws the Walkman, breaking a portrait. He then jumps into the TV, and we cut to outside, still hearing Benson screaming. An easy chair is thrown out and breaks a window and ends up destroyed. Benson looks at himself in the mirror. He's red again)

Benson: Keep it together, Benson. (looks at the mirror. His eyes are very stressed) You still got a whole day of work left.

(Cut back to the park where Benson is angrily walking and leaving fiery footprints in the ground)

Guy: Hey, buddy, are you okay?

Benson: (Knocks him out of the way) I'm fine! Fine!

(Mordecai and Rigby drive fast past Benson in the golf cart. Mordecai is driving blindfolded)

Rigby: Almost the record, almost the record! (They crash into a tree and fall to the grass) Not quite the record.

(Mordecai and Rigby come up to Benson, who is already heated with rage.)

Mordecai: Benson, uh, look, we're sorry, man.

Benson: No...

Rigby: (anxious) Aw, man, here it comes.

Benson: I'm not gonna yell.

Mordecai: Aw, yeah-yuh!

Rigby: Sweet!

Benson: I'm not... gonna... yell.

(Zoom into Benson's glass. His gumballs turn a bright orange, then, four gumballs go up in the air, catching on fire, then the rest catch on fire, and the four gumballs spin in a circle. Sparks then appear on Benson's body as he gets more and more angry, but tries not to yell)

Mordecai: Whoa. Benson, are you o-- (Benson becomes an orb of fury, burning all ground around him and sucking in loose objects. He then hovers into the air) What the?

(The ground below crumbles, as Mordecai and Rigby back away. The golf cart flies toward Benson and is destroyed. Skips and Pops come in another golf cart)

Skips: What happened?!

Mordecai: I don't know! Benson saw us crash the cart, and instead of laying into us, he said he wasn't gonna yell!

Rigby: And then he turned into THAT!

Skips: He's holding all of his anger in.

Mordecai: Why would he do that?!

Pops: Because of me!

Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips: What?!

Pops: I told him that if he didn't stop yelling at you two, I would fire him.

Skips: Pops, you can't do that.

Pops: But I am technically his boss.

Skips: Pops, you can't make him bottle up his anger like that. (Turns to Mordecai and Rigby) You gotta get him to yell at you guys.

Mordecai: Not a problem. Hey, Benson! You're a sorry excuse for a manager!

Rigby: Yeah, you nasal-voiced, loser-loner!

Mordecai: Go back to nice school and learn how to have a personality!

Rigby: And guess what! We're the ones who keep sending pizzas to your apartment!

Mordecai: And we're the ones who switched the detergent with coffee. (Orb of anger gets bigger) Dude! It's just making it worse! Pops, you have to tell Benson it's okay to yell at us!

Pops: I can't! There's never a reason to yell at people!

Mordecai: Pops! Look around! The park is disintegrating, and Benson's gonna explode!! (Muscle Man flies by in his trailer, screaming) Pops! Do something!

Pops: Benson, I need you to yell at Mordecai and Rigby!

Benson: But if I yell, you'll fire me.

Pops: Forget what I said, Benson!! If you don't yell at Mordecai and Rigby right now, you're fired!

'Benson: (Finally his patience is terminated, Benson opens his menacing eyes and screams furiously, as he unleashes yellow beam of fury, it strikes Mordecai and Rigby, but due to it's sudden power, Skips and Pops were blown away) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!!!!!!! YOU LAZY NO-GOOD SLACKERS DRIVE ME NUTS! CAN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME ONCE IN YOUR WORTHLESS LIVES?! 'CAUSE IF YOU DID, YOU'D SEE I'M TRYING TO TEACH YOU SOME SIMPLE RESPONSIBILITY, SOME PRIDE IN DOING A JOB WELL DONE!! (Voice breaks a little) BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW A JOB WELL DONE IF YOU PAID SOMEONE TO DO IT FOR YOU, (Tears are STREAMING and blowing off his face) AND EVEN THEN YOU'D SCREW IT ALL UP ON THE ACCOUNT THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN FOLLOW THE SIMPLEST OF INSTRUCTIONS, WORRYING MORE ABOUT LOOKING COOL THAN DOING YOUR JOB!!!!

(He explodes tremendously. Pan down to the damage done) (Pops and Skips get up. Benson gets up, as well, limping while doing so.)

Pops: Benson! Benson, are you alright?

Benson: Yeah, I'm fine. (Feels remorse) Sorry things got so out of control, Pops.

Pops: It was my mistake. From now on, I'll leave park managing to the park manager. (Shakes hands with Benson) Though, I do wish you wouldn't yell at Mordecai and Rigby so much.

Benson: (Happy again) Let me give it a shot. (The three look down at Mordecai and Rigby) Hey, Mordecai and Rigby. (Mordecai coughs) Clean this mess up, or you're fired. (He, Pops and Skips all laugh. A high pitched noise is heard, and the laughter is drowned out, due to Mordecai and Rigby getting deafened by Benson's yelling)

Mordecai: What? (Turns head to Rigby) What are they laughing at?

Rigby: What?!

(Mordecai and Rigby confusingly watch at each other as the episode ends.)


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