| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
(At the City Theater, the Annual Parkie Awards are taking place, hosted by Mr. Sengley. The audience are heard clapping)
Mr. Sengley: Yes, yes. Thank you, and welcome to the annual Parkie Awards. Now, we have a truly staggering, even grueling number of awards to hand out tonight.
(The Park employees are in attendance, with Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, Pops, Skips, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost sat around a table. Mordecai and Rigby groan)
Mr. Sengley: So let's jump right into the fun, huh?
(Mr. Sengley reads from a piece of paper)
Mr. Sengley: Our first award is for best raking...
(Some time later...)
Mr. Sengley: The award for cleanest pond goes to...
(And some more time later...)
Mr. Sengley: The park with the most well-behaved children is...
(About half way into the ceremony...)
Mr. Sengley: Okay, halfway done, folks. And for most uniform lawn...
(Some even more time later...)
Mr. Sengley: Best birthday spots...
(Towards the end of the ceremony...there are three awards left)
Mr. Sengley: For healthiest trees...
(Some moments later, an employee from Harrison Lake Park walks off the stage)
Mr. Sengley: Let's give it up to Harrison Lake Park for most fertile land. How do they do it?
(The audience claps, although only Muscle Man claps on the Park's table. Rigby groans and slams his head on the table)
Mordecai: We've been here for four hours!
(Benson slams his fists on the table and whisper-yells to Mordecai and Rigby)
Benson: What are you doing? You're acting like children! I'm up for Park Manager of the Year, this is the big leagues. Gene usually sweeps the awards, but I know for a fact that I have a chance this year.
(Benson nudges Skips with his elbow)
Benson: I mean, after that embarrassing fertilizer fiasco East Pines had?
Skips: (laughs) It's in the bag.
(Mr. Sengley continues the ceremony, just before the final award)
Mr. Sengley: Well, this seems like as good a time as any that we remember the fallen. Our park manager brethren, none of whom had won an award, but will still be missed despite their lack of excellence.
(The lights shut off, and a TV behind Mr. Sengley plays an In Memoriam video. Every time a different dead manager shows up, the audience go "aww". The following managers are shown: Ted Nelson, who was mauled by hummingbirds, Jared Polaski, who died by chocolate, John Silverman, who was killed by quicksand, and Victoria, who died from log rolling. The video ends)
Mr. Sengley: And now, a moment of silence.
(A second-long silence is held, immediately followed by the lights being switched back on, and a Wing Kingdom banner appears behind Mr. Sengley. Upbeat music plays)
Mr. Sengley: I'd like to thank Wing Kingdom for sponsoring this event! Before you get your angel wings, come by and get some spicy ones!
(Mr. Sengley laughs and gives himself a round of applause)
Mr. Sengley: And now the award we've all been waiting for...the Park Manager of the Year Award! The nominees are...
(On the TV screen, a slideshow of different Park Managers shows, with a feminine voice reading out the names)
Voiceover: Kimmy Gehbert from Micro Park.
(An image of Kimmy Gehbert holding a tiny park in her hand is shown)
Voiceover: Slicer Ericson from Alley Way Park.
(An image of Slicer Ericson standing in an alleyway is shown)
Voiceover: Gene from East Pines Park.
(An image of Gene sitting fully suited in a hot tub while holding a champagne glass is shown)
Voiceover: And Benson, from Park.
(An image of Benson dressed in his pajamas while eating a yogurt is shown. The slideshow ends as Benson angrily looks towards Mordecai and Rigby)
Benson: What!? That's not the picture I told you to send!
Mordecai: But don't you want them to know the real you, Benson?
Rigby: Yeah, it's honest!
(Benson is interrupted by Mr. Sengley)
Mr. Sengley: And the Parkie goes to...
(Benson waves away Mordecai and Rigby)
Benson: Shh! This is it!
Mr. Sengley: Ben...
(Benson gasps)
Mr. Sengley: ...jamin Smith! He's another guy who died. That's food for thought. Anyway, get up here, Gene! You won!
(Everybody except from the Park table claps as Benson looks horrified. Gene makes his way up to the stage)
Voiceover: This is Gene's ninth nomination and ninth win in this category. It's his eighteenth win tonight.
(Gene takes the award from Mr. Sengley, who walks off stage. He then takes the microphone)
Gene: Hey, I needed another back scratcher, am I right? (laughs) I'm running out of room for these things! Well thanks, I guess. Here's to another 18 wins!
(Gene walks off stage as Mr. Sengley walks back up to the microphone)
Mr. Sengley: The best of the best certainly won tonight, huh, folks? Another big thanks to Wing Kingdom, and we'll see you next year at the annual Parkie Awards!
(Benson stares ahead in shock, then acts unaffected)
Benson: Okay, so I didn't win. It's an honor to even be nominated.
(One hour later, Benson is angrily eating some wings at the table. Different people around the theater are excitedly talking among themselves)
Man: Eighteen in a row!
Woman: I loved all the dresses.
(Benson watches on angrily, and slightly tipsy from the wings)
Benson: Judged by a jury of my peers. With peers like these, who needs friends!?
(Skips puts his arm around Benson)
Skips: Hey, uh, why don't you go get some fresh air?
Benson: I'm gonna get some fresh air!
(Benson stands up and walks outside, muttering to himself)
Benson: Jokers wouldn't know a good park from a hole in the park.
(Benson's co-workers talk about Benson's current state)
Skips: Benson took that pretty hard.
Muscle Man: Yikes. I'm embarrassed for him.
Mordecai: Man, Benson's ten times the park manager Gene is.
(Mordecai turns and points towards Gene)
Mordecai: Look, he doesn't even care that he won.
(Gene is talking with two of his employees, next to a trash can)
Gene: Ha! They give awards for anything these days. I floss twice a day, nominate me for that!
(Gene and his employees laugh, as a waiter approaches him with hot wings)
Waiter: Hot wings, sir?
Gene: Definitely!
(Gene slams his award on the trash can. The Park workers look at him annoyed)
Pops: There's just no justice in the world.
Skips: Let's grab Benson and get out of here.
(Later, Skips is driving the Park workers home in his van. He looks in the rearview mirror to see Benson looking upset)
Skips: Hey Benson, how about we have a guys' night out, how's that sound?
Muscle Man: Yeah! We could do it up! We'd just need some wings, some slo-mo explosions, a sweet ride...
Benson: That stuff's for winners. Winners like Gene. He's probably out having the time of his life.
Rigby: We'll see how good a time he has when he figures out this is missing!
(Rigby pulls out Gene's Park Manager of the Year trophy and the crew mutters in shock)
Skips: Huh?
Mordecai: What the?
Pops: Oh, my!
Benson: Rigby, what are you thinking!?
Rigby: What better way to feel like a winner than with a real award? Besides, he didn't even miss it.
Benson: It's the principal of the thing!
Rigby: What, is it because it doesn't have your name on it?
(Rigby pulls out a marker)
Rigby: Here, I'll fix it.
(Benson snatches the trophy from Rigby)
Benson: No! We have to call Gene now! We'll tell him we have his award and it's a misunderstanding.
(Benson calls up Gene and leaves a message)
Benson: Gene, it's Benson. Call me back, it's important.
(Benson hangs up the phone)
Benson: I got the machine.
(Benson looks down at the trophy)
Benson: Well, while we're waiting to hear back, we could have a little fun!
Everyone: OOOHHHH!!!
(A montage begins. Skips' van pulls up to Wing Kingdom, where the crew walks in wearing sunglasses. They all fill up buckets using wing dispensers, then leave the restaurant. A snapshot is taken of the gang minus Pops, walking back to Skips' van. Later, at Just Stick It, Benson plays stick hockey against Rigby as the rest of the crew watches. Benson decapitates one of Rigby's players with the puck, then smashes the goalkeeper's face, winning the photo. Another snapshot is taken of the gang minus Skips, crowning Benson as the winner. At a venue, the crew are seen playing as Mordecai and the Rigbys once again, with Mordecai and Rigby on guitar, Skips on bass, Pops on keys and Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost on strings. Benson is then brought down to a drumset by puppet strings, and plays the drums. He then jumps into the crowd as another snapshot is taken of Rigby, Skips, Hi Five Ghost and himself crowd surfing. More snapshots following, with . the following: a snapshot of the band playing together, a snapshot of the gang minus Hi Five Ghost water skiing, a snapshot of the gang minus Muscle Man jumping in a trampoline park, and a snapshot of the gang riding in a convertible limo. The montage ends as the limo drives off. Later, the park employees are sat on top of Makeout Mountain)
Benson: Man, guys. What a night! I really just don't know what to say! Well, heh. I know what I would've said if I'd won. It was a show-stopper speech. I had to edit down three paragraphs I'd written about this guy.
(Benson nudges Skips with his elbow, then points towards Pops, then Muscle Man)
Benson: And you were in it, and you were in it!
(Benson points towards Mordecai and Rigby)
Benson: And even you guys are in it!
Mordecai & Rigby: WHOOOHHHH!!
Benson: Well, not in the original, but I added you in after how much fun we just had.
Mordecai & Rigby: Hmph, hmph. Hmph, hmph.
Benson: (sighs) Too bad I'll never get to say it.
(Muscle Man touches Benson's shoulder)
Muscle Man: Maybe it's not too late bro.
(Later, back at the City Theater, the employees are allowed entry thanks to Muscle Man knowing the security guard)
Muscle Man: Mega-cool of you to let us in like this, man.
Security Guard: Eh, no problem. The set's getting trashed tomorrow anyway.
(The guys enter the theater. Hi Five Ghost makes his way into the control booth and switches on a spotlight over the stage. The guys then make their way to the table they were previously sat at as Benson makes his way onto the stage with Gene's trophy)
Everyone: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
(Benson's eyes begin to tear up)
Benson: (laughs) Wow. I can't believe I'm finally up here.
(For a beat, there is silence)
Benson: Sorry, sorry, I'll start.
(Benson clears his throat, but suddenly the spotlight switches off)
Benson: Fives?
Hi Five Ghost: It's not me. I just turned on the lights.
(Suddenly, a green electric beam zaps from the microphone and into the TV behind Benson. The Wing Kingdom banner falls down as the previously seen In Memoriam video plays again, but rapidly speeds up and turns into a green static. Benson's co-workers look on in shock)
Mordecai: Huh?
Muscle Man: What the?
(The TV suddenly flashes, and the ghost of John Silverman appears on the floor, grabbing Benson's leg. Benson screams as the guys gasp. The ghosts of Ted Nelson, Jared Polaski and Victoria then walk from a puff of green smoke)
John: Hey, what do you think you're doing, mate?
Benson: I'm...giving my speech? I'm just trying to have my moment.
John: You've got plenty of moments!
Victoria: Yeah! Isn't it enough that you're still alive? I never got to give a speech!
Jared: I never got to give a speech either!
Victoria: Jared, the adults are talking here.
Jared: Hey, I died the same as everyone else!
Ted: You just forgot to chew your food.
Jared: Well, Victoria just fell off a log!
Victoria: Huh, at least I didn't get killed by dirt, like old quicksand over here.
(Victoria signals to John, who is not there)
Victoria: Huh?
(John, who is trapped within the ground due to his quicksand-related death, is attempting to steal the microphone from Benson)
John: Give me that mic!
Victoria: Hey!
(The other dead park managers run to stop John, shoving Benson off the stage. His co-workers look on angrily)
Mordecai: That's it!
(The guys run up on stage as John hits the other managers away. He reaches for the microphone, which is quickly kicked away by Mordecai, who is suddenly choked by Victoria's walker)
Victoria: You gotta learn from your elders!
(Victoria drags Mordecai away with the walker. Skips attempts to punch Ted in the face, but the ghosts of the hummingbirds that caused his death block Skips' path, then form into a fist to punch him in the face. Pops runs forwards with a cardboard cutout of a young boy)
Pops: Child coming through!
(Pops hits Jared with the cutout, causing him to regurgitate the chocolate which killed him)
Jared: My chocolate!
(Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost and Rigby catch Ted's hummingbirds by using the fallen Wing Kingdom banner as a net. Muscle Man then slips on Jared's chocolate and slides the trio into the rest of the group, causing them all to fall down, with the TV dropping on top of them. Benson then picks up the microphone and yells)
Benson: Hey!
(Rigby attacks Jared with some rubble, then looks up at Benson)
Benson: Look at yourselves! What are we doing? We all just want the same thing: to be appreciated. So why are we fighting? We've all given speeches to ourselves, in the shower, in the car, so let's give them to each other...right here, right now, together.
(A few moments later, the Park employees are sat around their table again, as Jared takes the stage with Gene's trophy)
Jared: Uh, oh, wow, geez, this thing's heavy! I actually, I don't have anything prepared.
(Ted gives his speech)
Ted: And you can shove it, and you can shove it! What do you think about that, Coach Gunderson!? And you can shove it, oh and you can sh-
(Victoria gives her speech)
Victoria: And I said, "Mom, you may not believe in me, but believe in my park!" (sobs)
(John gives his speech)
John: And me and my mates were in the outback, down by the opera house, when this crocodile comes flying out of nowhere! Well, I got that croc in a headlock and punched him in the stomach!
(The Park employees stare at John, confused)
John: That's the end of my story.
(The Park employees applaud the dead park managers)
John: Thank you. Boomerang.
(The other dead managers join John on stage as their all take a bow. They they scatter into dust and atoms. The park workers watch in amazement)
Mordecai: Last but not least, Benson!
(Benson makes his way back to the stage)
Everyone: Benson! Benson! Benson!
(Benson picks up the microphone and trophy and begins his speech)
Benson: Thank you! Thank you! It's a great honor to have received this award.
(Benson starts sweating as music can be heard around the theater getting progressively louder)
Benson: Uh, uh...they say the third time's a charm, I say it's the seventh!
(Benson starts yelling so he can be heard beyond the mysterious music, which continues to get even louder)
Benson: Uh, I'd like to thank Pops, Skips, Mordecai, Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost -
(The guys start muttering at the table confused by the sudden loud music, Benson begins to scream)
Benson: Who's doing that!? Cut it out!
(The lights in the control booth switch on, and Gene walks out of it, slow-clapping)
Gene: And the award for breaking and entering...goes to Benson!
(Gene stops slow-clapping)
Gene: Too bad there's no trophy for it.
(Gene walks up to Benson)
Gene: Got your message, thought I'd find you here.
(Benson looks down at the trophy)
Benson: Oh, right.
(Benson walks towards Gene with the trophy)
Benson: This belongs to you. Sorry to worry you.
(Benson passes the trophy to Gene)
Gene: (laughs manically) Sorry, I didn't realize it was missing! Ain't life funny? Anyway, thanks!
(Gene takes the trophy back from Benson)
Gene: Oh, and I hope you didn't take your picture with it, 'cause they say you'll never win an award if you do.
Benson: What?
Gene: That's probably just an old Parkies urban legend.
(Gene puts his hand on Benson's shoulder)
Gene: I wouldn't worry about it. (laughs)
(Gene snaps his fingers, summoning a white limo to crash through the wall and onto the stage. Gene opens its backdoor and numerous Parkie trophies fall out)
Gene: (laughs) Whoa, there!
(Gene laughs as he shovels the trophies back into the limo. He enters the limo)
Gene: See you at the next lodge meeting!
(Gene slams the door shut as the limo spins around and crashes through another wall to drive off. The park guys watch on feeling heartbroken)
Benson: (sighs) Let's just go home.
(Benson walks off sadly, as Mordecai and Rigby share a concerned look. Back at the Park, the sun is rising as the guys leave Skips' van. Benson approaches his car glumly, but comes to a halt as he hears Mordecai)
Mordecai: And the Parkie goes to...Benson, from Park!
(Benson looks up to see Mordecai and Rigby standing at the top of the house's steps)
Mordecai: Come to the stage and claim your prize!
Everyone: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
(Benson smiles and walks up to Mordecai and Rigby)
Mordecai: Here you go, Benson. You deserve it.
(Mordecai passes Benson a homemade trophy created from various newspapers. Benson takes the award and begins to cry tears of joy. Mordecai and Rigby walk down the steps, joining the rest of their co-workers, to observe Benson finally giving his speech. Benson pulls out his prepared speech from his pocket, then looks back at his friends. He puts the prepared speech back in his pocket, and speaks from the heart. As he gives his speech, various still images of the guys hanging out shows, with the following: the guys celebrating Benson with wings, the guys posing at a game of laser tag, a selfie from Mordecai where Benson is shown driving the previously seen limo, and finally the guys sat on top of Makeout Mountain, stargazing)
Benson: This is really the best award I could win. I'd like to thank all of you guys, not just for being the best staff I've worked with, but also being the best friends I could ask for. Because of you, every day I come into work, I feel like a true winner. Thank you.
(With the newspaper trophy on his desk, Benson smiles at it as he puts his jacket over his shoulder and leaves his office)
End of "The Parkie Awards"