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This page is the transcript for "The Night Owl".

(Episode begins with Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and Hi Five Ghost drinking soda and listening to music.)

Muscle Man: Yeah! Drum solo! (Muscle Man shakes the two cans of soda)

Everyone: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Muscle Man: Thanks for sharing the sodas.

Mordecai: Yeah, man. Thanks for sharing the tunes.

The Night Owl: (Speaking over the radio) Who's coming at ya? It's The Night Owl.

Muscle Man: Shut your faces! It's the Night Owl!

The Night Owl: Do you like cars? Do you love cars? If a car was a girl, would you take her on a date and try to get to second base? Well, who's giving away a brand new vintage muscle car? W.H.O.Z, (Muscle man turns up the volume) that's who. All you have to be the last one standing on the catwalk up the W.H.O.Z. Billboard downtown. But you gotta be in it to win it, so come on down tomorrow at noon for your chance to win.

Mordecai: A vintage muscle car?

Rigby: Just for standing?

Muscle Man: Frickin' Sweet!

Mordecai: Maybe it's just the sodas talking, but I think we should work together to win that car.

Muscle Man: I don't know. We really never worked together before.

Mordecai: Well, maybe it's time we cracked open an ice cold can of teamwork. FOR THE CAR!

Rigby: Yeah, we should!

Muscle Man: Let's do it, Babies!

Everyone: YEAH!

(Scene circle-wipes to the W.H.O.Z. billboard)

The Night Owl: Hey, there, radio listeners, this is The Night Owl, comin' to ya live from The Night Owl's first annual Stand-Off for the Steel. We certainly have some ambitious people out here, but only time will tell who has the drive for the ride.

Muscle Man: Aw, man! I can't wait to shove a key into that!

Rigby: Dude, were gonna look so cool all up in there!

Mordecai: Yeah, we will.

(Muscle Man notices someone looking.)

Muscle Man: Is there something on my face?

The Person: Uhh... no?


Mordecai: Save it for the contest, Muscle Man.

The Night Owl: Alright, everybody. I hope you're all comfortable up there, because the Stand off For the Steel starts in 3, 2, 1. WOO..WOO..WOO!

(The crowd begins cheering)

Mordecai: Bring it in guys. Bring it in. (Mordecai, Rigby, High-Fives & Muscle Man get in a crowd) We're not leaving here today without that car, so you know we have to do.

Rigby: Yeah, send those other losers home on their cruddy car!

(The four of them use many tactics to get rid of the other contestants 1.) Knocking their coffee 2.) shooting spitballs 3.) fanning the sweat off from Muscle Man to the other three contestants 4.) Then lastly, a plan to scare the last person off by Rigby showing up to the contestant and saying that Muscle Man is "stabbing" Mordecai and his "ghost" which was High-Fives flowing away.)

The Night Owl: We're down now with the final four, but don't you worry who'd heads, cause there's still plenty of contests left.

W.H.O.Z. Worker: Hey, man, the take guy heard those final four talking and they're gonna share the car. It's over.

The Night Owl: What? The contest can't be over, my ratings were just starting to get good... Bring in the isolation booth.

(The booth gets up at the top of the billboard.)

The Night Owl: How does it feel to be a part of the final four?

Rigby: It feels GREAT!

Mordecai: Awesome.

High-Five Ghost: It's exciting!

Muscle Man: WHOO!!!

The Night Owl: Hm-hmm, and how did you make it this far?

Muscle Man: Working together, baby!

The Night Owl: (laughs) Fantastic. So, what are you gonna do with the car?

Rigby: Share it.

The Night Owl: Hmm, that's funny, because that's not what Mordecai said.

Muscle Man: What did Mordecai say?

The Night Owl: Well, that he was gonna take the car for himself.

Hi Five Ghost: Rigby said that?

The Night Owl: Yeah, that's what Muscle Man said.

Mordecai: I knew it!

Rigby: That jerk!

Hi Five Ghost: I can't believe this!

Muscle Man: Oh, he's gonna pay!

The Night Owl: (laughs) Well, let me tell you, if you really want that car, then you better make sure you're the last one off the W.H.O.Z. Billboard, 'cause there can only be one winner.

(Cut to the W.H,O.Z. Billboard, Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost into the tent)

Mordecai: Well, we did it.

Muscle Man: Yep.

Rigby: Yeah.

Muscle Man: Guess all that's left to do now is step down and get the car.

Rigby: That sounds about right.

Muscle Man: Well, I'll meet you guys down there, I gotta take down the tent first.

Mordecai: No, no. We'll take care of the tent. You should go first.

Muscle Man: I'm not stepping off this thing until you three step off it first.

Mordecai: What's that supposed to mean?

Muscle Man: It means I know what you're up to!

Mordecai: (angrily) You know what I'M up to? I know what YOU'RE up to! Step one, working with you was a huge mistake, and step two, get off this billboard. You smell like barf!


(Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man and High Five Ghost start to beat each other up.)

(Cut scene while another one shows liquid niotrogen going into their tent)

The Night Owl: And now a little insurance to make sure this little competition doesn't end too early... (evil laugh)

(Scene showing Mordecai, Rigby, High-Fives & Muscle Man frozen & now showing the W.H.O.Z. Billboard as the days went on, and the years went by.)

Year 4224...

(Scene showing an a museum of The Night Owl & now showing a can running out liquid nitogen & now showing a scene to Mordecai, Rigby, High-Fives & Muscle Man in the melting ice.)

Mordecai: (Not frozen anymore) You smell like BARF!

(Punches Muscle Man & he's awake)

Muscle Man: Huh?

Rigby: (Gasps)

High-Five Ghost: (Gasps)

(Mordecai, Rigby, High-Fives & Muscle Man were looking around in silence)


Muscle Man: (Angrily) DON'T CALL ME A BARFSACK!

(Rigby, Muscle Man & High-Fives start fighting again)

Mordecai: STOP! STOP! Somethings not right! (Mordecai opens the tent & all of them are shocked) OH MY-..

(Scene showing them & the billboard in a glass and showing everywhere around the museum.)

Rigby: How long have we been up here?

Mordecai: Dude, I think we're in the future.

Muscle Man: Aww, this is all YOUR fault!

Mordecai: ME?! You were the one who was tryin' to get the car for yourself! Yeah, that's right, The Night Owl told me what you said!

Muscle Man: What did I say?

Mordecai: (Points at Muscle Man) That you were gonna trick us so you could get the car for yourself!

Muscle Man: Get your hand outta my FACE! (Slaps Mordecai's hand) I never said that! That's what Rigby said!

Rigby: What?!

Muscle Man: That's what The Night Owl told ME!

Rigby: But The Night Owl told me that's what High-Five Ghost said!

High-Five Ghost: I never said that.

Mordecai: Wait a minute, guys. I think The Night Owl tricked us.

Muscle Man: Yeah, I think you're right, bro!

Security Guard: Hey! Hey you! What are you doing up in the exhibit? (Gasps) You're the contestants! (Presses an emergency button & talks on walkie-talkie) Contestants are unfrozen! I repeat unfrozen! Requesting backup imediently!

(Conversation ends & more liquid nitrogen is coming)

Mordecai: That's not good! We gotta get outta here! Muscle Man, can you start that car?

Muscle Man: Yeah. Let's blow this popsicle stand!

Mordecai: GO! GO! GO!

(Mordecai, Rigby & High-Fives get down from the ladders)

Muscle Man: Get to the car! Fives and I could hot wire it!

(Muscle Man slides down the stairs)

Muscle Man: WHOO! WHOO!..

(Slides on the car but falls but then gets up & goes into the car)

Security Guard: Stop! Stay where you are!

(Transports close to the car door)

Security Guard: Get out of the car!

(Bangs on the car door)

Mordecai: Let's go! Let's go!

(Muscle Man hot wires the car. The security guard breaks the car window)

Mordecai: GO! GO!

(Muscle Man drives the car & crashes to the glass)

Security Guard: (Speaking to walkie-talkie) We've got a problem.

(Scene goes to The Night Owl's front desk)

Security Guard: Contestants fleeing premises, officers in pursuit.

The Night Owl: Don't let them escape.

(Cut scene showing Muscle Man driving the car & Rigby & High-Fives looking behind them)

Security Guard: Stop runners! Return to you're display by once by the order of The Night Owl!

Muscle Man: Night Owl?

Mordecai: He must've built this museum around the contest.

(Scene of still getting away from the guards)

Benson: I always knew those guys were special.

(Guards zapping them with lasers even the car's mirror)

Muscle Man: We gotta find the time machine!

Mordecai & Rigby: WHAT?

Muscle Man: We're in the future bros! There's gotta be a time machine!

Mordecai: I don't think-

~ ATTENTION, museum patrients, the Time Machine Exhibit will be closing in 5 minutes.~

Muscle Man: WHOOOO!! Eat on that, WRONG-ECAI!!

Rigby: Muscle Man, get closer to that Info Booth!

(Rigby Hangs onto High-Five's arm while getting a map from the Info Booth)

Mordecai: How are we gonna find the Time Pavilion?

~ Time Pavilion calculating directions ~

Rigby: It's still loading!

(The security is still firing lasers.)

Muscle Man: Take the wheel!

(Muscle Man gets on top of the car & Mordecai is now driving. They are giving out lasers while Muscle Man took off his shirt and moving it)

Muscle Man: Uggh!

(One laser hit Muscle Man's shirt & turned it into a white figure and he throws it to one of the securities & the other two came on top of the car & Muscle Man was getting one off & High-Fives got the other one off & both of them got back inside the car.)

~ Download complete. Time machine pavilion in 0.7 miles. Turn right. ~

(Mordecai steers to his right)

Rigby: There it is!

(They made it to the entrance)

Everyone: YEAH!

Mordecai: We're gonna make it!

(The Night Owl comes right in the middle of there path)

Everyone: AHH!

Rigby: It's The Night Owl!

Muscle Man: Get out of the way, jerkface! We need to use your time machine!

(The Night Owl beams lasers to them.)

Everyone: AHH!

(While beaming the lasers they tried dodging it.)

The Night Owl: You can't leave this place, I froze you thousands of years ago. I made what you are and what you always must be: Ice cubes in my drink of success. NOW GET BACK INTO YOUR GLASS!

(They still go for the time machine, then crack The Night Owl's suit and leave him there)

~ Select year of contest. ~

(Muscle Man throws an item to the Day One button)

~ "Day One of contest" selected. ~

(They all try to leave at the exit)

The Night Owl: NOOOO!

(Mordecai, Muscle Man, Rigby, and High-Fives finally made to the past/present)

Past Night Owl: Let's see. Awesome idea for a contest, check. Cool prize for a contest. Check. And enough liquid nitrogen to make sure contest lasts long enough to make me famous, check. (evil laugh)

(The scene is cut to show the sky leading up to the transport they have to come to the past/present while they crash and destroy The Night Owl's billboard and the car as the prize)

The Night Owl: NOOOO! My car!

(Mordecai coughs. Muscle Man kicks the car door to get out while the others get out)

The Night Owl: I maxed out my student loans for that car! You're gonna have to pay for tha--!

(Muscle Man punches him in the face while The Night Owl falls to the ground)

Muscle Man: That's for freezing us on purpose.

(They leave him alone)

The Night Owl: (weakly) Uhh...

(Cut scene to Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man & High-Fives)

Mordecai: Man, I'm glad that's over with.

Muscle Man: Yeah, that contest blew lungs.

Rigby: Hey, you don't think we'll run into to our past selves, do you?

Mordecai: Nah, you can't exist with yourself in any given moment in time, it doesn't work that way.

Rigby: Oh, okay, I guess that makes sense.

Muscle Man: And if it does work that way, we can always just fight to the death with each of our copies.

(Everyone laughs)

(Their past selves heard what Muscle Man said and are now shocked at their present selves.)

Past Mordecai: Uhh.....

(The episode ends.)