Regular Show Wiki
Regular Show Wiki
This page is the transcript for "The Key to the Universe".

(Episode begins at Pops' House. The park crew and Earl are in the living room.)

Earl: (sighs) Like I've been saying, Pops is the Chosen One. He must begin his training immediately, or Anti-Pops will destroy him and the universe as we know it!

Benson: Why should we believe any of this nonsense? How do we know you're telling the truth?

Rigby: Yeah, are you sure our Pops is the chosen one? Maybe you, uh...maybe you got the wrong guy. I mean look at him.

(Pops watches at the jar of butterflies and laughs, until he sees Earl.)

Pops: (cheerful) Oh, hello.

All: Whoa!

Pops: Titan? Universe? But I'm just Pops. This doesn't seem right.

Benson: I don't know, Pops. This sounds really serious. I think you have to do this.

Pops: But I don't want to fight anyone.

Earl: You can and will!

Mordecai: Wait a minute, how do we know this isn't all a load?

Rigby: Yeah, we want proof.

Earl: Oh, you want proof. Every time the cycle starts over, I get a tattoo on my...

Pops: Terrible. Earl hasn't taught me anything.

(Suddenly, Earl's voice is heard!)

Earl: (furious) Haven't taught you anything?!

Muscle Man: Busted.

(Pops groans, but then he snaps.)

Pops: (enraged) I'm sorry, but it's the truth! Your training makes no sense! I think you're simply too lazy to do your own chores and I'm fed up with being your personal chambermaid!

(Earl twitches his eye.)

Pops: I don't want any part of this! You can fight Anti Pops for all I care!

Earl: Even if I wanted to, I cannot. You are the chosen one!

Pops: I don't want to be the chosen one!