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OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "The Key to the Universe".

(Episode begins at Pops' House. The park crew and Earl are in the living room.)

Earl: (sighs) Like I've been saying, Pops is the Chosen One. He must begin his training immediately, or Anti-Pops will destroy him and the universe as we know it!

Benson: Why should we believe any of this nonsense? How do we know you're telling the truth?

Rigby: Yeah, are you sure our Pops is the chosen one? Maybe you, uh...maybe you got the wrong guy. I mean look at him.

(Pops watches at the jar of butterflies and laughs, until he sees Earl.)

Pops: (cheerful) Oh, hello.

All: Whoa!

Pops: Titan? Universe? But I'm just Pops. This doesn't seem right.

Benson: I don't know, Pops. This sounds really serious. I think you have to do this.

Pops: But I don't want to fight anyone.

Earl: You can and will!

Mordecai: Wait a minute, how do we know this isn't all a load?

Rigby: Yeah, we want proof.

Earl: Oh, you want proof. Every time the cycle starts over, I get a tattoo on my...

Pops: Terrible. Earl hasn't taught me anything.

(Suddenly, Earl's voice is heard!)

Earl: (furious) Haven't taught you anything?!

Muscle Man: Busted.

(Pops groans, but then he snaps.)

Pops: (enraged) I'm sorry, but it's the truth! Your training makes no sense! I think you're simply too lazy to do your own chores and I'm fed up with being your personal chambermaid!

(Earl twitches his eye.)

Pops: I don't want any part of this! You can fight Anti Pops for all I care!

Earl: Even if I wanted to, I cannot. You are the chosen one!

Pops: I don't want to be the chosen one!

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