| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
(Early in the morning at Pops' House, Benson is in the kitchen making a cup of coffee. He pours it into his "World's Best Boss" mug and blows on it. Suddenly, the room begins to shake violently)
Benson: Wha'?
(The coffee machine falls on the floor and smashes. In the living room, a portrait of Pops falls to the floor, as well as a vase, which smashes. At Skips' House, he is lifting weights, but the weights fall off the barbell. In Pops' room, he is creating a model of a boat in a bottle, which falls to the ground and smashes)
Pops: Oh!
(Mordecai and Rigby are both sleeping in their rooms, but woken up by the violent shaking)
Mordecai: Wha'?
Rigby: Huh?
(They both run towards each other)
Mordecai & Rigby: Earthquake!
(Mordecai and Rigby run into Benson's office)
Mordecai: It's in the filing cabinet!
(Rigby opens up a drawer in Benson's filing cabinet, where he pulls out an earthquake emergency kit. Mordecai and Rigby open it up and use everything incorrectly. They both blow on a couple of whistles. Mordecai downs a bottle of water and Rigby wraps a bandage around his head, with a bunch of small band-aids around his body. Rigby pulls out a bag of emergency gorp and eats it, while Mordecai pulls out an emergency flare and chucks it by the door. Benson approaches his office)
Benson: What are you guys-?
(Mordecai and Rigby set up a large inflatable pool tube and jump into it. Benson is almost knocked over by it and screams. The "earthquake" stops)
Mordecai: We did it! We survived the earthquake!
Mordecai & Rigby: Yeah-yuh!
(Mordecai and Rigby high-five each other. Benson is furious and turns red)
Benson: Ugh! Outside...now!
(Outside, Mordecai, Rigby, Pops, Skips, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost are sat on the house's stairs, as Benson walks in front of them with a clipboard. His employees however seem concerned with something else other than the earthquake)
Benson: Alright, aftermath meeting. Pops, you look for fallen branches. Skips, I need you to get a new earthquake kit.
Skips: That's not happening.
Benson: (sighs) Look, I know it's a 45-minute drive, but they -
(Skips heads over to Benson and grabs his head, pointing it upwards)
Skips: Look up.
(Benson looks up, shocked, as he sees that a dome has been sealed over the Park once again, just like what happened in "The Dome Experiment Special")
Benson: No...No! No!!
Mordecai: I thought we got rid of this thing!
(An enigmatic doctor who wears an eyepatch hovers down to the park guys on a jetpack, holding a cup of coffee)
Langer: Hello gentlemen! We are back, here to do some more experiments. Heh, nothing deadly. Nothing too deadly... I am Dr. Rueben Langer, but you may call me "Dr. Langer".
Benson: We're -
Langer: No need to introduce yourselves. We still have all the data from the first dome experiment.
Hi Five Ghost: Please just tell us what's going on!
Muscle Man: Why'd you trap us in the dome again, bro?
Langer: Don't worry, you're not trapped this time! That was phase one.
(Langer pulls out a mini remote with a single button on it)
Langer: Check it out: Phase Two!
(Langer presses the button on the remote to open up a large garage door over the park's entrance, where a SPARK van drives in)
Langer: Garage door. In and out, no problem.
Mordecai: What are we supposed to do this time?
Langer: Just act normal! My scientists will observe you.
(Three scientists, Pam, Steffen and a third unnamed scientist takes notes on the Park team)
Langer: Oh! And one more thing.
(Langer whistles, summoning a giant SPARK claw to bring down a tall button opposite the house)
Langer: No matter what happens...don't push this button.
(Everybody talks among themselves, frightened and confused)
Langer: Mr. Maellard and I are counting on all of you. Especially you!
(Langer points at Benson)
Benson: Wh - me? Whoa.
Langer: Remember, don't press the button no matter how much you want to. Langer out!
(Langer flies away with his jetpack)
Pops: Well, that was unsettling.
Benson: Alright, you heard the doctor! We're just gonna have to take shifts making sure nobody presses this button.
Rigby: Come on, Benson. Do we really have to sit here and guard some button no-one wants to push?
Benson: Look, I don't like it either, but sometimes you just have to blindly follow orders.
(Everyone groans as they walk towards the button. A montage begins of the guys guarding the button over time. Day 1: The button has been closed off by a belt barrier. Mordecai and Rigby are standing by the button looking around to see if anyone is nearby. They just see some birds flying and a man walking a dog. They both look instantly exhausted. Later, Benson is standing above the button staring at it. To pass the time, he eats a yogurt. Day 2: Skips is sat by the button squeezing a hand grip. He looks back at the button, but nothing happens. Later, Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost and Pops are guarding the button, while reading books. Muscle Man is reading a book on stocks, while Hi Five Ghost reads a book about great poets, and Pops reads a book about butterflies. Hi Five Ghost yawns. Later, Benson, now with stubble on his face, is staring the button while drinking coffee in his World's Best Boss mug, which has since shattered and been glued back together following the earthquake-like events caused by the dome being sealed again. The montage ends as we reach the following morning, with everyone sat back in their usual morning meeting positions)
Benson: Morning, everyone. Today's button-guarding shifts are as follows...
Rigby: Agh! It's been three days! I'm sick of guarding that thing!
Skips: It feels like we're wasting our time.
Muscle Man: We are wasting our time!
Mordecai: We don't even know why we're doing this!
Benson: Listen, I'm just as annoyed and confused as you are, okay? I don't know anymore than you guys do, remember?
Mordecai: Well, shouldn't it be your job to know?
Benson: That's not how it works.
(Rigby imitates Benson)
Rigby: Hi, I'm Benson.
Mordecai: Oh really, what do you do?
Rigby: Oh, I do whatever the creepy stranger with the eyepatch tells me!
Benson: Come on! Gimme some credit!
(Muscle Man starts to shake uncontrollably)
Muscle Man: Ugh, I can't take this anymore! I'm gonna push it!
(Muscle Man runs towards the button squealing)
Benson: Stop!
(Muscle Man tackles Benson as the other park workers gasp and run towards them. Benson is trying to fight Muscle Man away as he reaches for the button)
Mordecai: Muscle Man, chill!
(Mordecai puts Muscle Man into a headlock as Skips and Rigby hold his arms. Muscle Man squeals as he tries to break free, but then gives up)
Muscle Man: (sighs) I'm cool.
(Mordecai, Rigby and Skips let go of Muscle Man, who catches his breath)
Muscle Man: Sorry, dudes. I just lost my head for a second. Something about that button...
Benson: Alright, this has gone far enough. I'm gonna talk to Mr. Maellard.
(Benson begins to walk off to head to Mr. Maellard's mansion)
Mordecai: Finally!
Benson: Don't do anything until I get back!
(The park team watches as Benson leaves)
Mordecai: Well, now what?
(Suddenly, the team hear one of the scientists sneezing. They look ahead to see them hiding out in a bush, looking back at them)
Pops: (clears throat) Would you like a tissue?
(The scientists take notes on their clipboards)
Hi Five Ghost: What are you guys taking notes about?
(The scientists continue to take notes on their clipboard)
Rigby: Those guys take notes about everything. Watch.
(Rigby jumps onto his stomach and scoots across the ground with his legs. The scientists take notes)
Rigby: See?
(Muscle Man lifts his shirt up slightly, revealing more of his body, which the scientists take note of)
Muscle Man: Hey! I've got my rights, bro!
(Muscle Man squeals as he runs towards the scientists, who quickly back away towards a dome hovercraft, still taking notes)
Muscle Man: I'm not gonna live in a surveillance state!
(Steffen panics as Muscle Man tackles him. Pam and the other scientist get into the hovercraft and fly away, still taking notes)
Muscle Man: I got one!
(Meanwhile, at Maellard's Mansion, Benson is approaching Mr. Maellard's office, where he sees Langer leaving)
Langer: Thank you, Mr. Maellard. That was a good chat.
(Langer notices Benson)
Langer: Benson! How are you, buddy?
Benson: Wait, what were you talking to Maellard about?
Langer: Oh, that's on a need-to-know basis. You should probably get back to the park to guard that button. Okay?
(Langer begins to leave)
Langer: Alright, have a good one. Watch your back. Just kidding! (laughs) Maybe though...
Benson: Hmm?
(Benson enters Mr. Maellard's office as he sighs)
Benson: Hey, Mr. Maellard?
(Mr. Maellard is sat at his desk)
Mr. Maellard: You have to keep guarding the button, Benson.
Benson: What? How did you? No, but I - then can you please just explain why any of this is happening? I'm trying to be a good manager, but I can't if I'm being kept in the dark.
Mr. Maellard: You be a good manager by following orders, Benson. Follow your orders!
Benson: I'm sick of just following orders! You're just sitting here with your big desk and your fancy office!
Mr. Maellard: (sighs) You know what, Benson? You're right. You're the park manager, not Langer. So if you want, push it. Push the button!
Benson: What? What's gonna happen?
Mr. Maellard: Mmm, maybe something good, maybe something bad! Maybe, this is all a test.
Benson: Wha'? Well, alright then.
(Benson begins to leave the office)
Benson: I'm gonna go push the button, because I am in control!
(Back at the Park, the guys have Steffen tied up on a chair in Skips' garage)
Muscle Man: Alright, Mr. Note. Why you got us guarding that button?
Steffen: I'll never tell!
Mordecai: Alright, maybe this will make you change your mind.
(Muscle Man pulls off his shirt and approaches Steffen with it)
Steffen: Huh? Oh, no!
Rigby: You've been watching us, so you know exactly how long it's been since he's washed that!
(Muscle Man brings the shirt closer to Steffen's face)
Steffen: Agh! No! It smells like a rotten hamburger left in someone's desk as a prank! Fine, I'll tell you!
(Muscle Man pulls his shirt away from Steffen)
Steffen: It's...it's a test!
Mordecai: A test?
Steffen: Dr. Langer doesn't think you can handle a simple task. Not with Mordecai's self-doubt, Rigby's laziness, Skips' checkered past, Muscle Man's bad hygiene, Pops' childlike tendencies, and Benson's insecurity! Fives is the only logical one, and even he left it unguarded.
Hi Five Ghost: Uh, thanks?
Steffen: The point is, if the button gets pressed, Benson gets fired and Langer gets put in charge. And you do not want that.
Mordecai: Why not?
Steffen: Because...terrible things will happen.
(Everyone gasps)
Skips: Wait...who's guarding the button?
(Benson re-enters the Park dome and runs towards the button. At the same time, the park guys run towards it, realizing that it's unguarded. Benson gets there first, furious to see that nobody else is guarding it)
Benson: What the? Nobody's guarding it!? Mordecai and Rigby!! (sighs) Okay, I'm doing it.
(Benson pulls down the bell barrier and approaches the button itself)
Benson: I'm gonna press the...button.
(As Benson goes to press the button, he remembers what Langer said to him earlier)
Langer: Don't push this button.
Benson: Second thought! Maybe...
(Benson remembers what Mr. Maellard said to him earlier)
Mr. Maellard: Fine. Push it. Push the button!
(Benson then remembers an encounter with Dr. Dome during the previous dome experiment)
Dr. Dome: As you know, that's part of the test.
(Benson then remembers how the previous dome experiment ended)
Mr. Maellard: I played you for fools, and won.
(Benson then remembers Dr. Dome passing Benson a large bag of money from the beginning of the previous dome experiment)
Benson: Oh my...test? A test for what?
(Benson puts his finger on the button, hearing Dr. Dome's voice whispering to him)
Dr. Dome: Test...
(The other park workers quickly run up to Benson)
Mordecai: Benson, stop! Get away from that button!
Rigby: We've been talking to the dome guys and it's all just a test!
(Benson looks back at them as he hears Hi Five Ghost and Pops' voices whispering to him)
Hi Five Ghost: Talking to the dome guys?
Pops: See? You can't trust them.
Benson: You guys are lying. You're testing me, too!
Mordecai: Benson!
(The ground surrounding Benson and the button collapses in on itself, leaving Benson and the dome on a small island in the middle of the park)
Benson: Now, I'm the boss here, so...so I'm gonna make a decision.
(Benson looks at the button as it screams at him. He begins to sweat)
Mordecai: Benson, we're your friends! If you push that button, Maellard's gonna -
(From Benson's perspective, Mordecai transforms into the fake Mordecai used to trick him in the previous dome experiment)
Benson: What?
Rigby: Benson!
(From Benson's perspective, the rest of the park guys turn into their fake selves, also from the previous dome experiment. Everything they say turns to gibberish)
Benson: What are they saying?
(Rigby continues to speak gibberish. Benson then imagines Rigby's voice whispering to him from the button)
Rigby: Doesn't matter what they're saying, Benson. They're just like those dome guys! They're trying to trick you.
Benson: I...I need a minute to think.
(Benson steps back and falls off the mini-island and into a large pit. Suddenly, Benson appears to be in space, grabbing onto a satellite. He looks down to see thunderclouds parting, revealing the Park dome attached to a rocket. As lightning strikes, Pops' nose, the dome transforms into Pops' head, wearing his top hat, nose and mustache. A button is brought down from inside the satellite. Benson hears it speak to him)
Button: Push the button, Benson.
Benson: Uh, I'm not sure I should!
(The satellite drops slightly, making Benson fall down and hang on for dear life. Beneath him, the button appears, now appearing to be larger than Benson and with a mouth)
Button: Come on, Benson. I'll catch you.
(The button opens its mouth)
Benson: No, I - I shouldn't!
Button: Push the button, Benson!
Benson: No! I'm making this decision! I'm not gonna push the button!
(Benson suddenly finds himself being grabbed by the park guys, who pull him away. Benson then screams as he re-enters the real world, revealing the past scene to be a hallucination)
Mordecai: Are you okay!? Benson, you were -
(Benson coughs violently, as Dr. Langer approaches the guys)
Langer: Hello, gentlemen! I see you didn't press that button over there!
(The scientists place a metal guard over the button's base, and screw a small glass dome over over the button itself)
Langer: Really impressed. Great work. Ten out of ten. No-one's dead, and that's usually a good sign.
(The park workers all stare at Langer in anger)
Langer: Hmm. 'Kay, just gonna go ahead and call out what I'm feeling here. You don't seem that jazzed.
Mordecai: We're not jazzed, 'cause we're super confused!
Benson: We want answers!
Skips: Why were we guarding that button?
Langer: It's a big test.
Benson: Why is the dome back?
Langer: Bigger test.
Hi Five Ghost: What does the button do!?
Benson: And why'd Mr. Maellard say to press it!?
Langer: Test, test, test!
Benson: Well, now what?
Langer: Great question. Gonna answer it with...this trash bag!
(Langer pulls out a bag of trash. He then goes around all the park employees except for Benson, passing them beepers)
Langer: Beeper for you. Beeper for you. You. Beeper. Beeper. Beeper.
(Langer walks back in front of the overall group)
Langer: If the beeper beeps, gonna need you to return to the house immediately! This is mandatory, no questions asked.
Benson: Where's my beeper?
Langer: Benson, you get one of these babies!
(Langer grabs a strap-on fax machine and puts it on Benson)
Langer: It's a strap-on fax machine. Keep that on you, and you'll get very important dome orders.
(A fax starts to come through on Benson's fax machine)
Langer: Ooh! Here comes one now!
(Benson pulls the fax out of the fax machine)
Benson: Four orders of Crab Rangoons and a two liter of diet cola?
Langer: Oop, I see what's happening. Funny story, actually. That fax machine is one digit off from Joe's Chow Mein. (laughs) It's actually pretty good. I recommend it.
Benson: What's the point of all this!?
Langer: Got two super cool words for you, buddy: Langer out!
(Dr. Langer flies out of the dome on his jetpack, as the guys watch him. They are beyond confused)
Rigby: You guys wanna go get some Chinese food?
End of "The Button"