| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
(In the Space Tree barracks, Benson is debriefing Mordecai and Rigby)
Benson: So, in conclusion...Rawls says we all due for some R&R, so you guys have this afternoon off.
Mordecai: Awesome!
(Mordecai and Rigby high-five, then stare at Benson)
Benson: Why are you still here?
Mordecai: Where else would we go?
Rigby: Yeah, the coffee shop's back on Earth, so we don't have anywhere to hang out.
Benson: Well, this is where I'm hanging out. You guys go somewhere else.
(Mordecai and Rigby look at each other, then walk off)
Benson: And stay outta trouble!
(Later, Mordecai and Rigby are walking through the Space Tree, exploring)
Mordecai: I guess we have been hanging out in the barracks too much.
Rigby: Yeah.
(The duo approach what appears to be a large mall)
Mordecai: Whoa! It's like a city in here.
(The duo approach a store called "Chow Mein and Don't Touch Anything Store")
Rigby: Let's check this place out!
(Mordecai and Rigby enter the store)
Mordecai & Rigby: Whoa!
(A man named Keith, who is wearing a large array of memorabilia, approaches the duo)
Keith: Customers!?
(Mordecai and Rigby scream)
Keith: Welcome to the Chow Mein and Don't Touch Anything Store. You may either buy chow mein, or don't touch anything! Do you have credits? Feel free to look around and buy things with your credits, but don't touch anything!
(Rigby walks passed two jars, one containing a mini Space Worm, and another containing a mini Synth Dragon. Mordecai stares at a large ring orbiting a pyramid. He sneakily touches it, causing the ring to fall to the ground. Keith turns to face them)
Keith: Did I just hear you touch something!?
Mordecai: Uh, nope! Just dropping credits on the floor!
(Keith angrily mutters to himself)
Keith: Better be credits. Customers coming in and touching things but don't buy anything. Agh, they drop their credits on the ground, then it's my ground, my credits!
(Rigby watches Keith as he rambles on, then turns as he hears what sounds like a video game from behind a curtain)
Rigby: (gasps) An arcade!?
(Rigby pulls the curtain open to see a TV sat next to a birdcage, covered in a blanket. There is a chessboard next to the cage. On the TV, a program called "Chess TV" is playing)
TV Announcer: Chess TV! Dunst opening. Knight to C3. Not a common opening.
(Rigby pulls the blanket off the cage, to reveal a living brain inside)
Brain: Oh!
Rigby: (screams) Ew, a brain? Gross! Why are you in this cage?
Brain: Why am I in this cage? Well, there I was, a poor country brain, picking up groceries for my brain family. As I reached for the brain baby formula, that guy jumped outta nowhere and trapped me in this miniature steel prison!
Rigby: Wow, why'd he do that?
Brain: I don't know. Probably because he just doesn't like big floaty brains!
Rigby: Well, that's not very fair.
Brain: I know! And now, all I have to keep me company are my chess shows. I just wanna see my wife and kids again. Is that so wrong?
Rigby: No, it isn't!
Brain: Well, tell you what...there's a key on that wall!
(Rigby turns around and sees a key on the wall)
Brain: You could unlock this soul-sucking enclosure and I could be free to travel as I please.
Rigby: I don't know...I've dealt with a lot of disembodied stuff before. You sure you're not crazy?
Brain: I assure you, I'm not crazy. This situation is crazy! Now why don't you go get that key so I can stretch my stem a little?
Rigby: Okay...
(Rigby grabs the key and unlocks the brain's cage)
Brain: Yeah, haha!
(The brain floats out of the cage, knocking Rigby over)
Brain: Fooled ya! I'm not a country brain, I'm an evil brain, and I'm not married! I'm not even dating anybody right now! (laughs) Yeah!
(The brain floats out of the curtains and into the main section of the store. Meanwhile, Mordecai is eating chow mein while looking at Keith's memorabilia)
Mordecai: Hmm, this is actually pretty goo -
(The brain slams passed Mordecai, causing him to fall into Keith's shelves, and therefore breaking everything. The brain smashes through the store's window, escaping into the Space Tree mall)
Keith: (screams) What have you done!?
Rigby: He said he wasn't crazy.
Keith: That brain led a crime wave that nearly ruined this quadrant! You must stop him!
Rigby: Well, why was he locked up in a birdcage and not a maximum security prison?
Keith: You ever imprisoned an evil brain before?
Rigby: Uh, nope.
Keith: Well, then back off, man! Just get him, alright?
(Mordecai and Rigby run out of the store and into the mall to chase the brain. Two pedestrians scream as they see the brain heading towards them. He laughs, then bumps into a wall, and then a ladder, which falls and obstructs the hallway. Mordecai and Rigby duck under the ladder and continue to chase him through the Space Tree. The brain pants as he floats away)
Rigby: Gimme a boost!
(Mordecai holds his hand out for Rigby to step on, then flings him towards the brain. The brain screams as Rigby jumps down to him and slams him to the ground. The brain slips away through Rigby's arms, covering the floor in brain goo. Mordecai slips on the goo, but the two continue to chase the brain, who finds himself stuck at the end of an alley)
Mordecai: Cornered, eh? Looks like somebody isn't as smart as he thought he was.
(The brain picks up a stick)
Brain: Stay away, man.
(The brain starts swinging around his stick)
Mordecai: Whoa, whoa! He's got a stick!
(The brain floats towards Rigby whilst swinging the stick. Rigby slowly backs away)
Brain: Where am I gonna swing this stick? I'm unpredictable, man!
(The brain swings the stick into the air)
Rigby: (screams) Not in the face!
(The brain swings back the stick and hits Rigby in the shin, before floating away laughing. Rigby falls to the ground holding his shin)
Rigby: My shin! I wasn't expecting that!
(Faced against Mordecai, the brain drops the stick. Mordecai tries to block any possible path for the brain to escape)
Brain: (laughs) You guys are so dumb!
(The brain passes between Mordecai's legs)
Brain: That's why you'll never catch me! (laughs)
(The brain floats to the end of the alley, looks both ways, and heads to his left, leaving behind a puddle of brain goo)
Rigby: Ugh, why is everything in space so gross?
Mordecai: Come on, dude.
(Mordecai and Rigby follow the brain's tracks, only to find themselves stuck in a room full of other domers)
Mordecai: He's gotta be here somewhere.
(The duo keep walking through the room, then notice the brain floating towards a space cart)
Mordecai: There he is!
(The brain gets into the space cart)
Brain: (laughs) So long, flesh bags!
(Mordecai and Rigby run towards the cart, but just as they reach it, the brain drives off. The duo stop to catch their breath)
Rigby: Always one step...ahead. How are we gonna catch up to him?
(Mordecai and Rigby pant. Mordecai then looks up to see a security camera)
Mordecai: (gasps) I've got an idea.
(Mordecai and Rigby run to the Space Tree security room. Mordecai knocks on the door, as a guard opens it)
Mordecai: Hey, could we-
Guard: Yeah, yeah, come in. You're making me miss it.
Mordecai & Rigby: Huh?
(The guard sits at his desk, as Mordecai and Rigby follow. He points to one of many screens on the wall)
Guard: Check this guy out!
(The screen which the guard is pointing to displays a video of Benson yelling at two kids skateboarding)
Guard: He yells at these kids every time he walks by! Dude just doesn't get it.
(Rigby giggles)
Mordecai: Hey, have you seen a crazy brain anywhere?
Guard: Nah. I mostly just watch that angry guy or one of my other shows. Feel free to take a look. We got that awkward first date...
(One screen is shown, with Skips and Toothpick Sally playing pool)
Guard: That happy big-headed man who sleeps...
(Another screen is shown, with Pops sleeping in his bed, as his socks, shoes and alarm clock levitate next to him)
Guard: And whatever this is.
(The final screen shown contains a video of the brain in the space cart driving towards the Park Dome. Mordecai and Rigby gasp)
Rigby: It's the brain!
Mordecai: He's headed for our dome!
(Mordecai and Rigby run off to catch the brain)
Guard: Good luck tall guy and short guy! I hope you can make it back to Channel 47!
(Outside the security room, Mordecai and Rigby find another space cart)
Rigby: The cart! Go, go, go, go, go, go!
(Mordecai and Rigby get into the cart and drive off. They drive through the crowd of people from before, which luckily clears itself)
Mordecai: Sorry! Official Space Tree business!
(They enter the food court. One of the workers lifts up a tray with a drink. Rigby grabs the drink as they drive by)
Rigby: Sorry, official Space Tree business!
(Leaving the food court, Rigby takes a sip of the drink)
Rigby: What do we do, man? We're gonna get in so much trouble!
Mordecai: No, dude. We'll be fine. We'll capture this brain and fix this mess before anyone finds out.
(Mordecai and Rigby arrive at the Park Dome, just outside the house. They exit the cart then stop as the dome begins to shake)
Rigby: What's going on?
(The Park Dome begins to take off, and exits the Space Tree. Meanwhile, Colonel Rawls is in the Space Tree's control booth holding a cup of coffee, watching a cadet doing push-ups)
Rawls: Top notch push-ups there, cadet.
(Rawls takes a sip of coffee, then notices the Park Dome flying away)
Rawls: Huh?
(Rawls spits out his coffee)
Rawls: Whose dome is that, cadet?
Cadet: Uh, the park, sir.
Rawls: Code red!
(An alarm goes off as the cadet leaves the booth. Back in the Park Dome, Mordecai and Rigby see the brain in the dome's control room, located at the top of the House where Pops' room used to be)
Mordecai: We gotta get up there.
(Mordecai's phone suddenly rings)
Mordecai: Dude, it's Benson!
(Mordecai answers the phone on speaker)
Mordecai: Hello?
Benson: Why is the park blasting off into space? I know you two have something to do with this!
Rigby: Oh, so because the park is missing, we had something to do with it?
(Benson's phone begins to ring. He answers to hear Colonel Rawls screaming at him, turning the call into a conference call between the three)
Rawls: Why has your dome taken off without clearance!?
Benson: I don't know! I was just trying to eat my Tuscan chicken salad.
Rawls: You don't know what's going on in your own park!? That is unacceptable! Drop and gimme fifty!
(Benson drops to the ground to do fifty push-ups)
Rawls: Mordecai and Rigby, I have footage of you driving into your dome.
(Skips walks along to Benson's location, joining the conference call)
Mordecai: Rigby set this evil brain loose from this creepy old guy, and now it's flying the dome into space.
Rawls: What?
Skips: Why am I not surprised?
Rawls: Old guy...someone get me Keith on the line!
(Keith joins the conference call)
Keith: Hello!
Rawls: Why are we having another brain incident, Keith? You said you had this under control.
Keith: It's not my fault, I put him in a birdcage! These two guys came into my shop, all touching everything! They released the brain.
(Benson finishes his push-ups and gets up behind Skips, to listen to the conference call)
Rawls: That was a dang good birdcage. Your guys messed up, Benson! Space Tree protocol dictates we have to shoot rogue domes down!
All except Rawls & Keith: What!?
Mordecai: Wait, please just give us a chance to catch him!
Rigby: Yeah! Keith, how did you catch him?
Keith: I beat him at chess. (laughs) But that was a long time ago. He's too good now. You cannot beat him.
Mordecai: Colonel, I have a plan. Can you give us more time?
Rawls: You have ten minutes before the dome's getting blasted.
(Mordecai ends the call)
Rigby: What's your plan?
Mordecai: I'm gonna need a chess board and a big salad. I'm hungry.
(Moments later, Mordecai and Rigby enter the dome's control room. Mordecai takes a bite of his salad)
Mordecai: Hey brain!
(The brain turns around and fires a laser gun towards the duo. They dodge the laser at the last second)
Rigby: Wait, wait, wait!
Mordecai: Wait, stop! Don't shoot! If you shoot us with that gun, everyone'll know you couldn't outsmart us with your wits.
Brain: Ha! Beating you with my wits would be a million times easier than pulling this trigger. What do you propose?
Mordecai: How about a game of chess?
Brain: Chess? Chess!? (laughs) You've got no chance.
Mordecai: If you're so sure, then let's play. Winner gets the dome, loser leaves the dome.
Brain: And gets sucked into the vacuum of space?
Mordecai: Uh, yeah. I guess so.
Brain: Then I accept. Let's play.
(A game of chess begins. Mordecai and Rigby are using the black pieces, while the brain uses the white pieces)
Brain: Did you know there are only twenty possible first moves in chess? Pretty crazy, huh? I chose pawn to E4.
(The brain takes a pawn from E2 to E4 on the chessboard)
Brain: Are you ready for the fast-paced action of a king pawn opening?
(Rigby ponders what his first move will be, then goes to pick up a piece)
Brain: What will you choose?
(Rigby hovers his hand over the pawn on C7)
Brain: That one? Ha!
(Rigby moves his hand over to the pawn on E7, and moves it to E5)
Brain: Ah, pawn to E5. Pathetic.
(Meanwhile in the Space Tree, the timer for blowing up the Park Dome is at five minutes)
Rawls: Prepare to light this dome up.
(A cadet is arming missiles on a computer)
Cadet: Arming the park-seeking missiles.
(The missiles are armed outside the Space Tree. Back at the Park, the chess game continues)
Brain: Did you know that your skin is your largest organ? Mine's my brain...your epidermis, or as I like to call it, your epi-dumbness! It won't help you in chess.
(The brain takes the queen from D1 to H5)
Brain: Queen to H5.
(Rigby grabs a knight and takes it from B8 to C6)
Rigby: Horse to this square!
(Mordecai and Rigby bump fists)
Brain: You calling it a horse makes me wanna vomit!
(Rawls watches the game from a screen. He scowls as a computer beeps)
Rawls: Huh?
(Rawls looks down to see that the timer is now at three minutes)
Cadet: Sir, we're getting out of weapons range. What do we do?
Rawls: (sighs) Then we have no choice. Fire.
(The cadet fires the missiles towards the Park Dome. Back in the dome, the game is nearing its end, as the brain moves a bishop to C4)
Brain: Bishop to C4. You're probably asking yourself "What is a bishop? Please tell me, because I'm so ignorant!" or perhaps you're thinking...
(The brain mimics the sound of wind whooshing)
Brain: ...because your brain is so small that the only thing it could think of is the sound of a small breeze!
(The Space Tree's timer is now at two minutes. The missiles are still on their way to the dome)
Brain: Are you ready for me to blow your mind?
(Mordecai and Rigby sweat. Mordecai takes another bite of his salad. The brain grabs his queen and begins to move it to F7)
Brain: Queen takes F7.
(The timer is now at one minute. The missiles open up and fire more smaller missiles from themselves. The timer is now at thirty seconds. The missiles approach the dome as the queen approaches F7. The timer is now at ten seconds. Rawls sweats. Mordecai and Rigby stare at the chess board anxiously. The timer is now at five seconds and the missiles reach the dome. The brain's queen knocks one of the black pawns away, smashing it. The brain has won the game)
Brain: Checkmate! (laughs) I can't believe you fell for Scholars Mate! It's the oldest trick in the book! (laughs) Huh?
(Mordecai sneaks up on the brain and pins him to the ground using his salad bowl)
Mordecai: Got him!
Brain: Hey! What!?
(Mordecai speaks to Rawls through the camera)
Mordecai: Rawls, we got him!
Rawls: (laughs) Mordecai and Rigby, you ignorant geniuses!
(Rawls presses a button labelled "DISARM" on his control panel. The missiles disarm themselves, and bounce off the Park dome. Mordecai and Rigby sigh)
Brain: Agh! Let me out of here! Let me out of here!
Rigby: Ew, so gross!
Mordecai: Pass me the chessboard.
(Rigby passes the chessboard to Mordecai, who slides it under the salad bowl
Brain: Ugh, agh! Stop! Let me go!
(Mordecai and Rigby go to the Dome's underground exit)
Brain: Wait, stop!
(Mordecai flings the brain out of the dome and into the vacuum of space)
Brain: No! You haven't seen the last of me! I'll get you for this, Mordecai and Rigby!
(Mordecai and Rigby watch the brain float away)
Rigby: I really feel like getting chow mein.
End of "The Brain of Evil"