This is the transcript for the episode Terror Tales of the Park V.
Opening[]
(Episode starts with Muscle Man, High-Five Ghost, Thomas, and Johnny Skydiver using a catapult. The scene then cuts to the living room where Eileen is talking to a broom. The scene then cuts again to Monica taking a picture of Quips while everyone else's mingles. Moments later, Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost enter Benson's office)
Muscle Man: Whooooo! Man, Benson, you really went all out with this party. That catapult... uh, uh... that catapult -
Mordecai: Yeah. You normally just get some streamers and just call it a day.
Benson: Ha! I haven't even showed you guys the best part. (Grabs blanket) I present... (Pulls the blanket) Racki the Wishmaker!
Mordecai: Thanks for sharing it to us.
(Everyone leaves except for Benson)
Benson: Wait! You guys gotta at least try it try it. You make a wish and it shows you what would happen if it came true. But really scary.
Mordecai: I don't know.
Muscle Man: Yeah.
Benson: Listen, I didn't put down a five-hundred dollar security deposit for nothing. Just watch. (Grabs hold of the machine and clears throat) I wish... I wish I could motivate Mordecai and Rigby at work.
Racki: A hard worker is all you desire. So do their backsides. Let us add some fire. (Laughs)
(The scene then cuts to Benson's wish)
Mr. Boss Man (Benson's Wish)[]
(Benson's story begins with Mordecai and Rigby watching TV)
Man on TV: Tired of trying to fit a head of lettuce in your mouth? Just try our new salad guillotine. (An image of the product is shown) Off with your head... of lettuce. (a kid slices a full lettuce with the Salad Guillotine) Salad guillotine. Make a salad fit in your mouth.
Mordecai and Rigby: So cool... (take notes with a pen and pad. Benson arrives)
Benson: Hey, didn't I tell you to mow the lawn? Why are you watching TV?
Mordecai: I don't know. Just feeling "blah" today, you know?
Rigby: Yeah, kind of got a case of the afternoon sleeps.
Benson: (groans) I don't wanna hear it! Get back to work, or you're fired!
(Mordecai and Rigby get up groaning and leave the living room)
Man on TV: Do you have trouble motivating your employees?
Benson: Why yes, I do.
Man on TV: I'm Puppet King from Puppet Depot. Buy my puppet, Mr. Bossman. Yells at your workers so you don't have to. Best part is, it's not you doing it. It's the puppet. (starts sweating and whispers) Murray, can I get a glass of water? Puppet depo - Wait. Mr. Bossman.
Benson: Show the number!
Mr Bossman: Call now or your fired!
(The scene cuts to Mordecai and Rigby sitting on fold-out chairs and chucking cans of soda into a basketball hoop on a ice cooler floating on the lake.)
Mr. Bossman: Hey! Hey, get back to work! Get back to work right now!
Mordecai: Bens-- Oh. What is the-- This is really uncomfortable.
Benson: Hey, it's not me making you uncomfortable. It's Mr. Bossman.
Mr. Bossman: Get back to work! Get back to work!
: Eh...Okay. I guess... we'll go.
(Mordecai and Rigby leave the jetty)
Benson: Wow, they're so motivated.
(We pan to Mordecai and Rigby at the Snack Bar, who are imitating lasers by using soda cups. The duo stop when they hear Mr. Bossman.)
Mr. Bossman: Hey! Hey, you two, quit messing around! Don't get germs on the cups! Do what I say, or you'll be out on the street!
Mordecai and Rigby: Sorry, Benson.
Benson: Not Benson. Mr. Bossman.
(We later see Mordecai and Rigby washing Benson's Car, groaning in the process.)
Mr. Bossman: Hey! Scrub faster! Time is money! You got a real loose grip, Mordecai. Explains why you can't hold on to a relationship.
Mordecai: Wait-- Wha? Hey, you-- You-- You-- "You-- You-- You."
Mr. Bossman: Less stuttering, more scrubbering!
(Mordecai and Rigby groan and continue to scrub. Benson walks away with Mr. Bossman)
Benson: I'm a good boss.
(Mr. Bossman remains motionless for a few seconds looks at Benson. The scene cuts to Benson's Apartment where Benson is sleeping.)
Mr. Bossman: Hey, keep sleeping. Yeah. Yeah. Roll over on your side. (Benson rolls over his side) Yeah. When you wake up, you should pack up your bags and leave. Never-- Never come back!
Benson: (wakes up) Huh?
(Mr. Bossman falls onto the floor. Benson groans, gets out of bed and walks over to the spot where Mr. Bossman fell on the floor. Benson picks up Mr. Bossman, who turns his head and looks at Benson)
Mr. Bossman: This is my house now!
(Benson screams and throws the dummy onto the wall)
Mr. Bossman: You don't deserve this job! I'm the one motivating the workers! I gotta support my family!
(Benson turns around and sees his family through the window, a wife, a child and a daughter puppet. Thunder clashes through the window. Benson screams. Mr. Bossman spins his head at a fast pace as Benson runs out of his apartment. Mr. Bossman grabs Benson's leg but lets go when Benson slams the door on Mr. Bossman's head, cracking it in the process.)
Mr. Bossman: Benson, you're cracking me up!
(Benson runs away from the apartment and arrives at Pops' House.)
Mordecai: Dude, the Salad Guillotine is awesome! Wanna use some of this lettuce to make a salad?
Rigby: Eh, I'm not really into salad.
Benson: (slams the door shut and arrives in the living room) Mr. Bossman! He's trying to kill me!
Mordecai and Rigby: What?!
(Mr. Bossman flies head-first through the window. He gets up, his head spinning at a rapid pace. Mordecai, Rigby and Benson gasp. Mr. Bossman jumps on Benson, Benson falls down and tries to et the dummy off of him.)
Benson: Get this dummy off of me!
(Mordecai and Rigby kick Mr. Bossman's head. Benson gets up and slams his body on the wall, screaming in the process.)
Mordecai: Benson! The Salad Guillotine.
(Benson looks at the Salad Guillotine and throws Mr. Bossman into the guillotine.)
Mr. Bossman: You don't have the chimichangas!
Benson: Mr. Bossman. Off with your head, off lettuce!
(Mr. Bossman chops Mr. Bossman's head off with the Salad Guillotine. Mr. Bossman's head lands into a salad bowl.)
Mr. Bossman: I'll take your place! I'll do it! I just need to eat my way out of this salad bowl! (imitates chomping noises as he tries to eat the salad bowl)
Benson: Quick thinking, guys! (wraps his hands around Mordecai and Rigby) You guys are so smart.
The word smart echoes as the story ends)
Interlude 1[]
Benson: I'd never say something like that! (looks away from Racki the Wishmaker and pants)
Mordecai: What happened? Benson, are you okay?
Benson: There was a doll and a- the wish just felt too real. We should probably stop using--
Pops: Oh, I'm next, you slowpokes. (laughs and runs up to the Racki the Wishmaker machine)
Benson: Pops, wait!
Pops: I wish I could travel more.
Racki The Wishmaker: Going on a trip is no easy feat. With a head like that, you'll need an extra seat.
(Racki laughs evilly as his eyes turn red. Pops' eyes also turn red. We cut to white)
Werepops (Pops' Wish)[]
(The story starts with spectators in a court murmuring)
Muscle Man: Wow, what are the odds of all of us getting jury duty on Halloween?
(Gavel Bangs)
Security Guard: Court is now in session. Up next, The State versus John Wolfhard.
(The scene cuts to John Wolfhard in handcuffs, growling and looking at the spectators)
Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa, cool. He's a werewolf.
Judge: Mr. Wolfhard, you stand accused of murder. How do you plead?
John Wolfhard's Lawyer: My client pleads not guilty, your Honor.
John Wolfhard: Yeah! I never ate nobody. (smashes his fist on the table) And if I did, there'd be no evidence, 'cause I always eat the bones.
Prosecutor: Mr. Wolfhard, where were you the night of the last full moon?
John Wolfhard: If you must know, I was bottle-feeding an orphaned baby deer.
Prosecutor: Interesting-- So you wouldn't recognize... (pulls out a patch of wolf hair)this patch of werewolf hair we found at the crime scene, would you?
John Wolfhard:Uh... That could belong to any werewolf...with my DNA.
Prosecutor: Then there's this entry from your diary from that same night. "Dear diary, ate a guy today. This is not a joke. Till next time, signed John."
Rigby: He's guilty.
Mordecai: Don't know about him.
Benson: We've heard enough. Let's get this over with.
Pops: Ooh! Ooh! Your Honor, may I use the bathroom, please?
Judge: Okay, sir, but make it quick.
Pops: Good show. (leaves to go to the bathroom)
John Wolfhard: Uh... If he's allowed to go, I am too, right?
Judge: Who am I to judge?
(Wolfhard chuckles to himself as he makes his way to the bathroom)
Security Guard: Should he be in there without supervision?
Judge: Eh, that frail old man will keep an eye on him.
(Pops whistles for a brief moment before being startled by the opening and closing of the bathroom door. He looks down at a gap and notices Wolfhard's feet. A sweaty and uneasy Pops continues to watch Wolfhard from the bathroom stall gaps walk into a stall which is right next to the one Pops is in)
Wolfhard: Ah, for-- Hey!
Pops: Yes?
Wolfhard: Do me a solid. I'm all out.
Pops: Oh. Um, of course.
(Pops gives Wolfhard some toilet paper but instead of taking one sheet, he takes the entire roll by pulling on it.)
Wolfhard: Thanks. Now I just need one more favor.
Pops: Yes?
(Wolfhard pulls apart the bathroom stall Pops is in and proceeds to bite him)
Wolfhard: Hold still!
(Pops screams)
Security Guard: Hey! Don't make me come in there!
Wolfhard: Sorry, old-timer. It's you or me.
(Pops whimpers as he is thrown to the ground by Wolfhard. Wolfhard then runs up to the prison bars.)
Pops: Where are you going?
Wolfhard: I'm going someplace where they treat werewolves with respect - London.
Pops: Wait!
(Pops gets up only to notice that Wolfhard has disappeared. Upon noticing the full moon, Pops starts transforming into a werewolf.)
Pops: Goodness!
Security Guard: That's it!
(The security guard kicks down the door only to notice a werewolf-like Pops.)
Security Guard: Freeze!
Pops: Oh, dear. I can explain.
Security Guard: Come quietly, son. I don't wanna have to blow this dog whistle.
Pops: Let's just talk this over.
(The security guard blows his whistle which irritates Pops. After running into a wall and knocking himself out, Pops finds himself sitting in Wolfhard's chair.)
Prosecutor: So, when you inevitably find Mr. Wolfhard guilty, you can add destruction of property, eating a juror, and attempted escape to his list of crimes.
Pops: Wolfhard?
(Pops looks down at his hands only to notice that he has been handcuffed.)
Pops: Oh, no! (whimpers)
Judge: Jury, have we reached a verdict yet?
Mordecai: Your Honor, we find the defendant -
Pops: (slams his hands on the table) Objection! I mean, wait! You're making a terrible mistake! I've been framed! It's me-- Pops!
All: Pops?
Muscle Man: So, wait. Let me get this straight. You're saying the real killer attacked you in the bathroom, turned you into a werewolf, tore a hole in the wall, and then escaped, leaving you to take the rap?
Pops: (nods his head) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Skips: That actually makes a lot of sense. But my gut's telling me to have fun with this. Let's stick with "guilty" and see how it pans out.
Judge: Mr. Wolfhard, you are hereby sentenced to life in prison.
Pops: This can't be!
Security Guard: Let's go, you animal.
Pops: No!
(Pops punches the security guard in the face, which, as a result, snaps Pop's handcuffs.)
Judge: (points at Pops with her gavel) Stop him!
(As Pops attempts to make his escape, the jurors and a handful of people pull out torches and pitchforks; Muscle Man himself pulls out a Bazooka.)
Rigby: Stop him!
(We then cut to Pops driving while being pursued by an angry mob of people and the park workers. As he drives through the airport, Muscle Man aims and shoots his bazooka at Pops.)
Muscle Man: Eat it, Wolfhard!
Pops: Huh?
(Pops notices the rocket from the bazooka and after it hits the car, Pops is shot up in the air for a few seconds before landing on the ground. He then notices a nearby plane.)
Man: Last call for Flight 194 to London.
Pops: (runs up to the man) One ticket to London, please.
Man: Sure. Go on up.
Pops: Good show. (walks up the airplane boarding stairs)
(The mob of angry people continue to pursue Pops but are unable to board the plane.)
Man: Sorry. All full.
(Pops looks out at the angry mob before turning around after hearing Wolfhard.)
Wolfhard: Oh. Hey, old-timer. You made it. Sorry about mauling you earlier. No hard feelings, right? Hah, heh.
Pops: Water under the bridge, my good sir.
Wolfhard: Great. Say, me and the boys are gonna get tea at the royal palace when we land in London, maybe eat the Queen. You in?
Pops: Oh, tea. Good show.
Woman: (over speaker) Flight 194 to London, England, is ready for takeoff. Fellas, this one's for you.
("Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon plays in the background as the plane takes off for London.)
Interlude 2[]
(After the story ends, Pops begins howling and then singing Werewolves of London.)
Pops: (howls)Something, something. Werewolves from London ♪
Mordecai: Okay. So, I'm confused. Is Racki scary or just lame?
Racki: Oh, no, I'm not lame. I'm definitely scary. Boo! See?
(Racki laughs evilly as the unimpressed park workers look at him.)
Going Up (HFG's Wish)[]
TBA
Interlude 3[]
TBA
Chocolatude (Rigby's Wish)[]
TBA
Epilogue[]
TBA