This page is the transcript for "Tent Trouble".

(Episode opens with Pops' House early in the morning. CJ and Eileen are giving Mordecai and Rigby, who are sleeping, some stuff.) 

CJ: Here are the hotdog and some more supplies, tarp, extra stakes...

Eileen: First aid kit, length of rope, and hank-crank radio for emergencies.

CJ: And here's the regular radio.

(Mordecai and Rigby groan tiredly)

CJ (continued): C'mon you guys, camping! Get excited.

Eileen: I know it's early, but if we do this now, you can have the campsite set up by the time CJ and I get off work.

(Mordecai and Rigby are sleeping while holding the supplies. CJ clasp her hands loudly, waking them up.)

CJ: Just focus for a sec. (points) There's the sleeping bags and the cooler. There's my new tent.

Mordecai: Woah. You got the "Camp Champ Deluxe"?

CJ: Yeah. When I found out you guys liked camping, I decided to splurge on it. It's so awesome. All you have to do is unzip it and it pitches itself.

Mordecai: Nice.

(CJ kisses Mordecai on the cheek. Eileen just watches Rigby drooling before walking away. CJ and Eileen walk over to Eileen car.)

CJ: See you guys up there.

(They drive off.)

Rigby: Dude, hit the snooze button.

Mordecai: Aww! C'mon, let's get this stuff in the cart.

(Mordecai starts driving the golf cart backwards to get the stuff on it. Rigby is leading him.)

Rigby: You're good. You're good. You're good. You're good. You're good.

(Mordecai accidentally runs over CJ's tent.)

Rigby (continued): Bad! You're bad!

Mordecai: What?

Rigby: Too far! Pull up!

(He pulls up, ripping the tent.)

Rigby (continued): Aaah! No!

Mordecai: Back more?

(He goes back more.)

Rigby: Gah! Forward! Forward!

(A tent pole snaps as he moves forward, off the tent. He comes out.)

Mordecai: Ugh! I don't know what you're trying to say. Gah! CJ's tent!

(He picks up the now damaged tent.)

Mordecai (continued): Dude, she said it was brand new and now it's totally wrecked! We gotta fix this.

Rigby: Just throw it in the trash and say someone stole it. Do we even need a tent?

(Mordecai punches him.)

Rigby: Aww!

Mordecai: It's not just about needing a tent. It's that it's CJ's tent. She'd be really bummed if she found out we broke it. We have to replace it.

Rigby: You're right, you're right. We should replace the tent. But we have to get breakfast tacos, right?

(Mordecai walks off. Rigby follows)

Rigby (continued): Drive-through?

(Mordecai and Rigby go to Outdoorz & Morez, a camping shop. Mordecai talks to an employee)

Mordecai: Hey, uhh, (referring to the wrecked tent) we want a non-crushed version of this, please.

Salesman: Oh yeah, you want the Camp Champ Deluxe. It's right over there.

(Pans to where the tent is kept. There is a model of the set-up tent, plus 3 boxes of it. The price shown is $20 on special, but it shows $200 near the boxes. We get a close up of the"$20 on Special" sign.)

Mordecai: 20 bucks? Oh, good. I thought it was gonna be like 200 do-

(The "On Special" signs falls. The real price is $200.00.)

Mordecai (continued): $200?!

Salesman: Yeah, I know, it's a pretty big rip-off. Doesn't even fit one person.

Mordecai: I don't have $200.

Rigby: Come on, can't you give him a discount? He ran over his girlfriend's tent.

(Mordecai punches him again.)

Rigby (continued): Ow!

Salesman: Yeah...I'll be in the Trail Mix aisle if you need me.

(He grabs trail mix from the aisle and eats. Rigby turns to Mordecai.)

Rigby: Can't you just say you're really sorry?

Mordecai: "Really sorry" doesn't replace a $200 tent. Come on.

(He walks off. Cut to Pops' house. Benson is in his office. Someone knocks on his door.)

Benson: Yeah?

(Mordecai and Rigby come inside.)

Mordecai: Hey, Benson.

Benson: (not looking) What is it?

Mordecai: We just realized that you need somebody to trim the hedges 'cause they're lookin' pretty shabby.

Rigby: Wicked shabby!

Mordecai: Yeah, they look really bad. We also just noticed that we need $200. So if you have the $200, we can just go trim those hedges for you right now.

Rigby: Or tomorrow.

(Mordecai punches him again.)

Benson: The hedges are fine. Wait, why are you even here? I thought you were going camping.

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