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This page is the transcript for "Tent Trouble".

(Episode opens with Pops' House early in the morning. CJ and Eileen are giving Mordecai and Rigby, who are sleeping, some stuff.) 

CJ: Here are the hotdog and some more supplies, tarp, extra stakes...

Eileen: First aid kit, length of rope, and hank-crank radio for emergencies.

CJ: And here's the regular radio.

(Mordecai and Rigby groan tiredly)

CJ (continued): C'mon you guys, camping! Get excited.

Eileen: I know it's early, but if we do this now, you can have the campsite set up by the time CJ and I get off work.

(Mordecai and Rigby are sleeping while holding the supplies. CJ clasp her hands loudly, waking them up.)

CJ: Just focus for a sec. (points) There's the sleeping bags and the cooler. There's my new tent.

Mordecai: Woah. You got the "Camp Champ Deluxe"?

CJ: Yeah. When I found out you guys liked camping, I decided to splurge on it. It's so awesome. All you have to do is unzip it and it pitches itself.

Mordecai: Nice.

(CJ kisses Mordecai on the cheek. Eileen just watches Rigby drooling before walking away. CJ and Eileen walk over to Eileen car.)

CJ: See you guys up there.

(They drive off.)

Rigby: Dude, hit the snooze button.

Mordecai: Aww! C'mon, let's get this stuff in the cart.

(Mordecai starts driving the golf cart backwards to get the stuff on it. Rigby is leading him.)

Rigby: You're good. You're good. You're good. You're good. You're good.

(Mordecai accidentally runs over CJ's tent.)

Rigby (continued): Bad! You're bad!

Mordecai: What?

Rigby: Too far! Pull up!

(He pulls up, ripping the tent.)

Rigby (continued): Aaah! No!

Mordecai: Back more?

(He goes back more.)

Rigby: Gah! Forward! Forward!

(A tent pole snaps as he moves forward, off the tent. He comes out.)

Mordecai: Ugh! I don't know what you're trying to say. Gah! CJ's tent!

(He picks up the now damaged tent.)

Mordecai (continued): Dude, she said it was brand new and now it's totally wrecked! We gotta fix this.

Rigby: Just throw it in the trash and say someone stole it. Do we even need a tent?

(Mordecai punches him.)

Rigby: Aww!

Mordecai: It's not just about needing a tent. It's that it's CJ's tent. She'd be really bummed if she found out we broke it. We have to replace it.

Rigby: You're right, you're right. We should replace the tent. But we have to get breakfast tacos, right?

(Mordecai walks off. Rigby follows)

Rigby (continued): Drive-through?

(Mordecai and Rigby go to Outdoorz & Morez, a camping shop. Mordecai talks to an employee)

Mordecai: Hey, uhh, (referring to the wrecked tent) we want a non-crushed version of this, please.

Salesman: Oh yeah, you want the Camp Champ Deluxe. It's right over there.

(Pans to where the tent is kept. There is a model of the set-up tent, plus 3 boxes of it. The price shown is $20 on special, but it shows $200 near the boxes. We get a close up of the"$20 on Special" sign.)

Mordecai: 20 bucks? Oh, good. I thought it was gonna be like 200 do-

(The "On Special" signs falls. The real price is $200.00.)

Mordecai (continued): $200?!

Salesman: Yeah, I know, it's a pretty big rip-off. Doesn't even fit one person.

Mordecai: I don't have $200.

Rigby: Come on, can't you give him a discount? He ran over his girlfriend's tent.

(Mordecai punches him again.)

Rigby (continued): Ow!

Salesman: Yeah...I'll be in the Trail Mix aisle if you need me.

(He grabs trail mix from the aisle and eats. Rigby turns to Mordecai.)

Rigby: Can't you just say you're really sorry?

Mordecai: "Really sorry" doesn't replace a $200 tent. Come on.

(He walks off. Cut to Pops' house. Benson is in his office. Someone knocks on his door.)

Benson: Yeah?

(Mordecai and Rigby come inside.)

Mordecai: Hey, Benson.

Benson: (not looking) What is it?

Mordecai: We just realized that you need somebody to trim the hedges 'cause they're lookin' pretty shabby.

Rigby: Wicked shabby!

Mordecai: Yeah, they look really bad. We also just noticed that we need $200. So if you have the $200, we can just go trim those hedges for you right now.

Rigby: Or tomorrow.

(Mordecai punches him again.)

Benson: The hedges are fine. Wait, why are you even here? I thought you were going camping.

Mordecai: Uh -

(Benson raises his eyebrow)

Mordecai: I broke CJ's tent and need money to replace it.

Benson: No.

Mordecai: What? Why not?

Benson: Maybe because every time I give you extra work, it never gets done!

Rigby: Well maybe if you gave us jobs that weren't so boring...

Benson: Argh! If you need extra money so badly, just go get a part-time job!

Rigby: But that's like even more and more work!

Benson: You could just tell CJ the truth?

Mordecai: Hmm...mhm, mhm...Benson, look out behind you!

Benson: Huh? What?

(Benson turns his head to notice Mordecai and Rigby driving off in the Cart. A montage begins set to "Takin' Care of Business" by Bachman Turner Overdrive, of the duo trying out part-time jobs. First, they try out working at a hot dog stand. Rigby gets hot so scoops up some of the hot dog grease in a cup and drinks it. Mordecai, grossed out, accidentally squeezes two buns together, causing the sausage to fly out and get stuck in their customer's nostril. The guys run off, as we transition to their next job, holding signs to point towards a business. Rigby shows off and throws his sign into the road, causing a collision, making them run off again. Their next job is as valets at a valet park. Rigby takes keys from a fancy couple, and throws them over to Mordecai, who is standing by the key stand. Mordecai isn't able to catch the keys in time however, and falls into the stand, knocking all the keys to the ground. A gang of scruffy hooligans quickly run and take the keys, stealing all the cars. Mordecai and Rigby run off again, taking us to their next job at a crocodile lake. The duo try to feed the crocodile some T-boned steak, but it jumps out and eats the entire shovel it was being served on, causing them to run off. Their next job is at a restaurant called Marv's Grill. They seem to be doing well, with Rigby as a waiter and Mordecai as a cook, until we cut to a shot of the restaurant on fire, most likely thanks to them. Their final job is at a bed store, where they are trying to show a woman around. They end up jumping on one of the beds, and Rigby bounces into her chest, presumably getting them fired. Cut to the Park Snack Bar, where Muscle Man is working, and the duo are trying to look for more part-time jobs in a newspaper.)

Mordecai: Are they any jobs left?

Rigby: Just military recruit and lumberjacks.

(Mordecai's phone rings)

Mordecai: Dude, it's CJ!

Rigby: Pick it up!

(Mordecai answers the phone)

Rigby: Make sure not to tell her about the tent.

(Mordecai slaps Rigby across the face)

Mordecai:'s it going?

CJ: Did you guys set up the tent yet?

Mordecai: No, not yet! We're still just stuck here at the Park.

CJ: Oh, okay! Well can you just text me a picture of the tent anyway? I wanna remember what it looks like in the bag.

Mordecai: What? Uh...

(Mordecai grabs Rigby's newspaper and scrunches it up)

Mordecai: I'm losing you, CJ! We're driving through a tunnel. See you on the mountain!

(Mordecai hangs up and groans)

Rigby: Dude, I was still reading that.

Mordecai: Forget about the paper! How are we gonna get the $200?

(Muscle Man starts clearing his throat loudly)

Muscle Man: Did you say $400?

Mordecai: No, I said 200.

Muscle Man: Oh. Well, I gotta way you can make that too.

Rigby: We're listening.

Muscle Man: The Side Line holds a mud wrestling competition twice a month.

Mordecai & Rigby: Mud wrestling?

Muscle Man: Yeah, if you can last five minutes against Starla and her sister, Peggy - the money's yours!

Mordecai: Five minutes? That's it?

Muscle Man: You might feel differently in the ring, but if you think you can last...

Rigby: Oh, I think we can! Mordecai?

Mordecai: Let's go get that money.

(Cut to The Side Line; Mordecai and Rigby are stretching)

Mordecai: Sure are a lot of people here.

Muscle Man: Yeah, mud sports fans are pretty passionate.

Mud Sports Fans: Mud! Mud! Mud!

Rigby: It's just Starla and her sister, it can't be that bad!

(The lights dim as a spotlight appears over the MC in the ring)

MC: Welcome to...Mud Mania!

(Everybody cheers)

MC: Put your hands together and your mud ponchos on for...your two favorite misses of mess - The Mud Angels: Peggy and Starla!

(A door opens, revealing both Starla and Peggy. They move towards the ring, and throw mud on fans. A showreel of their victories is shown on one of the screens, even showing characters from Season 2's "Really Real Wrestling", Hissy Fit, Four-Armageddon, and Huge Head. Mordecai and Rigby look at the showreel in fear. They turn around to see Benson, Pops, Skips, Hi Five Ghost and Thomas walking towards them)

Benson: Hope you guys aren't having second thoughts, 'cause we all paid good money to see you in that ring!

Mordecai & Rigby: What?

Skips: Yeah, once Muscle Man told us, we couldn't miss it!

Pops: Mud is such a novel idea!

(Mordecai and Rigby groan, as the MC makes an announcement)

MC: Now, let's meet tonight's challengers: Mordecai and Rigby!

(Mordecai and Rigby exchange looks, then climb into the ring)

MC: Remember, this is an unsanctioned fight at a two-star restaurant. We are not liable for any injuries or deaths.

(Mordecai nods towards the MC, then huddles into Rigby)

Mordecai: Okay, dude. Just don't let them touch you. We don't need to fight, all that matters is that we're still standing after five minutes.

Rigby: Hmph, hmph, hmph, hmph, hmph!

Starla: Uh, we can hear you?

Peggy: This is our house!

Starla: But it's gonna be your grave!

(Starla and Peggy laugh, then high five each other. Mordecai and Rigby gulp)

MC: Alright, to your places!

(Rigby and Starla exit the ring, for Mordecai and Peggy to fight)

MC: Ready...set...let's get muddy!

(The bell rings declaring the start of the fight. Peggy runs towards Mordecai, who quickly jumps into some mud to dodge her. He runs in circles around the ring, as she chases him)

Rigby: Keep it up, man! That tent money is ours!

(Mordecai stops for a second to give Rigby a thumbs up, but then slips into the ground)

Mordecai: Huh?

(Peggy jumps onto Mordecai's back with her elbow)

Park Gang: Ooh!

Skips: That looked pretty painful.

Benson: Sure did.

(Benson opens up a can of soda and drinks it. In the ring, Mordecai is being beaten up by Peggy)

Starla: Take him down, Peg'!

(Peggy crushes Mordecai's stomach. He groans in pain)

MC: We're less than a minute into this, but it looks like time could be up for the challengers!

Rigby: Mordecai! Tag me in, tag me in! Tag me! Tag me!

(Mordecai tags in Rigby, as Peggy drops a chair onto his back. He slides out of the ring groaning)

Rigby: Don't worry, man! I got this.

Mordecai: Hmph...

(Rigby enters the ring with Starla. His feet sink into the mud)

Rigby: Grr...I'm not afraid of you!

(Starla kicks Rigby across the ring, breaking his ribs as he lands)

Mordecai: Rigby!

Rigby: My ribs made a breaking sound!

(Starla drags Rigby away by his feet, then stands over him)

Starla: Welcome to pain town, population: you!

(Starla sits on Rigby's back, crushing his bones even more. Rigby screams in agony)

Muscle Man: Isn't she great?

(Starla throws Rigby into the edge, then climbs onto a barrier, and jumps off onto Rigby with her stomach in slow-motion. Rigby screams and isn't able to blink in time, as Starla's stomach sweat drips into Rigby's eye. Rigby climbs from under Starla's stomach, gasping for breath)

Rigby: My eyes! She touched my eyes! Couldn't blink in time - my eyes!

(While Rigby is crying, Starla climbs onto the barrier to repeat her stunt again. Rigby quickly notices and screams, jumping out of the way, making Starla miss and face-plant into the mud)

MC: Looks like a miss for our angel!

(Starla growls as she lifts her face from the mud. Meanwhile, Rigby is slipping up on the mud trying to run away. Starla takes advantage and pushes Rigby over, but Rigby quickly jumps into the ropes, bouncing him onto Starla's back. He grabs onto her as Mordecai gasps. Starla tries to shake him off)

Starla: Hey! Get off me!

Mordecai: Haha, Rigby!

(Starla runs around with Rigby attached to her back)

MC: The Mud Angels' undefeated title could be in jeopardy!

(Peggy glances at Rigby angrily, and climbs into the ring with a sign)

Peggy: Hey Starla, you got something on your back!

(She bashes Rigby off Starla)

Mordecai: What!? You can't do that!

(Mordecai runs into the ring. Peggy beats Rigby continuously with the sign, as Mordecai runs towards them)

Mordecai: Stop!

(Peggy bashes Mordecai, making him fall onto Rigby)

MC: Folks, the clock is at the half-way mark!

Mordecai: What?

Rigby: Half-way? It feels like we've been here for hours!

Peggy: Hope you guys like mud pie!

Starla: 'cause we're saving all you can eat!

(Mordecai and Rigby get grabbed by Starla and Peggy, as they slam their heads into the mud. The Park Gang look uncomfortable.

Starla: You two don't look so good!

Peggy: Maybe you should stop wasting your time and give up already!

Starla: Let's finish this, Peg'!

Pops: They only have a minute left!

(Peggy and Starla both jump into the ropes, swinging them towards Mordecai and Rigby, knocking the dudes down. The Mud Angels nod towards each other, and run in circles around Mordecai and Rigby. Their eyes turn red)

MC: Folks! I don't believe it! The legendary sister twister!

(The audience gasps in amazement, as Starla and Peggy's running turns the mud into a mud tornado. Mordecai and Rigby are still laying on the ground, barely conscious)

Rigby: Are we...winning?

Mordecai: Dude...I don't think so...

(They both look up to see the tornado surrounding them, causing them to scream)

MC: It's...beautiful!

(Peggy and Starla jump from the ropes once again, bouncing them into the air. They hold hands and start spinning as they go through the eye of the tornado, towards the duo. Mud splashes everywhere. Mordecai and Rigby are thrown against the ropes, trying to stay standing while being blasted by mud. The bell rings, indicating the end of the match)

MC: Could the challengers even be standing after such a hit?

(Mordecai and Rigby are seen layed up against the ropes)

MC: Uhh, well - technically they're still standing! The challengers: Mordecai and Rigby, win the $200!

(Everybody boos and complains)

Muscle Man: I did not see that coming.

Thomas: I think there's some mud in my mouth.

Peggy: Well I hope it was good for you!

Starla: Hmph!

(Peggy and Starla walk off)

Rigby: Dude...we did it.

Mordecai & Rigby: (exhausted) OOOHHHHHH...

(The guys cough, as the scene transitions to the campsite. CJ and Eileen pull in)

CJ: Alright! Who's reading for some camping?

(CJ and Eileen notice Mordecai and Rigby fully bandaged)

Eileen: Whoa...what happened?

Mordecai: We had trouble with the tent.

End of Tent Trouble