| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
(It's Winter in the city, and the Coffee Shop is covered in snow. Inside, Eileen is serving food to Mordecai and Rigby, who are dressed in winter gear)
Eileen: Here you go. Two breakfasts to go! I put extra syrup in your sausage scrambler wrap, Rigby. Just the way you like it!
Rigby: Sweet meat!
(Rigby rubs his stomach)
Rigby: Aw, yeah-yuh...
Eileen: So, what do you guys have planned for your day off?
Rigby: Hmph, hmph! Two words, six syllables.
Mordecai & Rigby: Snow t-t-t-tubing!
Mordecai: Snow tubing is so awesome. You go down the mountain and you hit all these sweet jumps.
Rigby: Yeah. Last year, I hit this snow bank so hard, I almost flipped over a boulder. What about you, Eileen? Got any crazy tubing stories?
Eileen: Uh, I've actually never been snow tubing.
(Mordecai gasps)
Rigby: What!? You've never been snow tubing? But you love the snow, and you go tubing all the time.
Eileen: Pool tubing is an entirely different beast.
Mordecai: Same thing, just more thrills, chills and spills.
Rigby: But mostly spills. We usually go up to Cannon Run Mountain. You should come with us, you'd love it!
(Eileen scratches her head)
Eileen: Oh, that sounds great, but uh - I have to work. The coffee grinder's been acting up, and the repair guy won't be here for quite a while, so...there's probably zero percent chance I'll be able to go today. But you guys have fun!
Rigby: Oh. Okay. Well, don't work too hard. See ya!
Mordecai: Later, Eileen!
Eileen: Bye!
(Mordecai and Rigby leave the coffee shop, and Eileen gives a sigh of relief. The next morning, at Eileen's House, Eileen is fast asleep in her bed, snoring. She is suddenly woken up by a knock on her front door)
Eileen: Huh?
(Eileen opens the front door in her dressing gown to see Mordecai and Rigby, still in their winter gear)
Mordecai & Rigby: Surprise!
(Margaret walks to the front door, next to Eileen)
Margaret: (yawns) What are you guys doing here at six in the morning?
Eileen: Yeah.
Rigby: We switched our day off so we could go snow tubing today instead! Now we can all go together!
Margaret: Snow tubing!? Whoa, I haven't gone since I was little! Thrills, chills -
Mordecai: And don't forget the spills.
(Everybody except Eileen laughs)
Eileen: Uh, thanks. But I'm not sure that I can make it. I promised myself I would clean out my fridge today.
Rigby: What? That can wait!
Eileen: But my milk is gonna expire soon!
Rigby: The fun is gonna expire if you don't come with us.
Margaret: Yeah, Eileen. I can help you with the fridge when we get back. Let's go, it'll be really cool.
(Eileen hangs her head down, then looks up at Rigby, who is excitedly nodding at her)
Eileen: Well, alright.
Mordecai & Rigby: Yeah-yuh! Snow Tubing! Snow Tubing!
Rigby: Can we get some sausage scrambler wraps first?
(Later, Eileen is driving Mordecai, Rigby and Margaret to Cannon Run Mountain)
Eileen: So, you guys have been here before, right?
Mordecai: Tons of times. It's far, but it's worth the trip. Cannon Run Mountain has the sickest slopes.
Margaret: It snowed yesterday, too. I bet there's some fresh powder on the mountain.
Rigby: Aw, yeah-yuh! Got to get me some fresh pow-pow!
(Mordecai, Rigby and Margaret laugh, followed by Eileen laughing nervously. She then notices a sign reading "REST AREA NEXT RIGHT")
Eileen: Speaking of powder...does anyone need to use the powder room?
Mordecai, Rigby & Margaret: No.
Eileen: You sure? I wanna hear you individually.
Margaret: No.
Mordecai: No.
Rigby: No. Wait, a powder room is a bathroom, right?
Eileen: Yeah!
Rigby: No! We've hit every bathroom since we left!
Eileen: Oh, okay.
(The group continue to drive in silence)
Eileen: Well, I gotta go.
(Eileen turns the car right to go to the next rest stop. At the stop, named Stop N.P, the group get back in the car each with a cup labelled "Drink Up!")
Eileen: Man, these things go right through me! Hopefully, I don't have to go to the bathroom again!
(Eileen takes a large sip of her drink as the rest of the group groans. The car drives off as they continue their journey. Rigby is reading a map)
Rigby: We usually hit a ton of traffic up here, but I know a shortcut. Just take a right up here at the fork.
(The car is approaching a fork in the road)
Eileen: A left?
Rigby: No, a right.
Eileen: Left, got it.
Rigby: No, right! Right!
(Eileen goes left at the fork)
Rigby: Ugh!
Eileen: Oh, sorry. I heard left.
Mordecai: Well, it's still pretty early. We'll probably beat the traffic?
(The car reaches a huge traffic jam)
Rigby: Alright, unlock the doors. I'm walking.
(Later, the group finally arrives at Cannon Run Mountain)
Rigby: Ugh, finally! If we hurry, we can get ten runs in before it gets dark.
Eileen: I say we get some food first. Can't go snow tubing on an empty stomach!
Margaret: Yeah, I am pretty hungry.
Mordecai: I could eat.
Rigby: But I want the pow-pow now-now!
(Rigby's stomach rumbles)
Rigby: Ah, stupid body. Okay, let's get some food.
(Sometime later, the group are eating in the Cannon Run Cafe)
Mordecai: Yeah, after the first few runs, it's not so bad. You'll go down the mountain and be all like -
(Mordecai moves his arms in accordance to how one would move while going down a mountain)
Mordecai: "Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh! What? You call those bumps? I didn't feel a thing!"
Rigby: And if you go fast enough, you'll feel the wind on your face, and everything is like -
(Rigby does an impression of the wind going past somebody's face)
Rigby: "Shew! Shew!" And you'll be like "I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!"
(Eileen stares at Rigby, petrified)
Mordecai: Oh man, remember last year when we talked Thomas into going down that double black -
(Later, the group have now collected their tubes from the tube kiosk, with Mordecai and Margaret sharing one, and Rigby and Eileen with the other. However, Rigby and Eileen's tube is covered in tape and in a rough condition)
Rigby: I still don't know why you picked this old, beat-up grandpa tube.
Eileen: 'Cause it's got the most character!
Rigby: Yeah, and a bunch of holes.
(The tube suddenly deflates)
Eileen: Aw, man. Where are we gonna get another tube? I guess we'll have to wait in line again.
(The line is incredibly long, with 22 people waiting)
Mordecai: Well, good luck with that. We'll see you guys up there!
Margaret: Yeah, don't take too long!
(Mordecai and Margaret head off)
(Eileen turns around to see a tube made for one person)
Eileen: Oh, look, there's a single-person tube! Hey, Rigby. Just take that and I'll catch up with you later.
Rigby: No way! I'm not going without you.
Eileen: Don't be silly! I don't mind, honest!
Rigby: But I moved this whole trip so we could go tubing together.
(Eileen stares at Rigby, looking ashamed. Moments later, Rigby and Eileen are waiting in line and Eileen sighs. Sometime later, they finally get their tube and run off towards the ski lifts to go up the mountain)
Rigby: Come on, it's getting dark! If we hurry, we can get in two solid runs!
(At the ski lift, a ski employee is guiding people onto the lift's chairs)
Ski Employee 1: Keep it moving. Keep it moving.
(Rigby and Eileen arrive at the ski lift)
Eileen: Oh, wait. I forgot my -
(As Eileen turns around, she falls into the ski lift chair with Rigby and their snow tube, forcing her up the mountain)
Rigby: Great view up here, huh?
(Rigby looks down)
Rigby: Oh, look! Here come some people tubing!
(Below Rigby and Eileen are two men screaming while going down the mountain on their tubes. Eileen begins to hyperventilate)
Rigby: You alright?
Eileen: Just breathing in the fresh mountain air! (breathes heavily) It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun.
(Rigby and Eileen jump off at the top of the ski lift and run to one of the mountain slopes, where another ski employee is guiding people )
Ski Employee 2: Keep it moving. Keep it moving.
(A man runs up to the slope and goes down on his snow tube, laughing. He then flies off a snow ramp and screams)
Guy: I've made a mistake!
Rigby: Whoa, did you see that? That guy must have been going fifty, maybe sixty miles an hour! With two people, our tube is gonna go way faster than that!
(Rigby and Eileen approach the same slope)
Ski Employee 2: Keep it moving. Can't back down now, so keep it moving.
(Rigby puts his and Eileen's tube down on the ground)
Rigby: Here we go! Want the front or the back?
Eileen: Back. Definitely back.
(Rigby gets into the front of the snow tube as Eileen gets into the back)
Rigby: Okay, knock yourself out!
Eileen: What!? Am I really gonna knock myself out!?
Rigby: Well, you're in the back, so maybe?
(Eileen quickly gets out of the snow tube)
Eileen: Oh, shoot! I left my scarf on the chair lift. I can't lose it, it's a family heirloom!
Rigby: You mean the scarf that I bought you that you're wearing right now?
Eileen: Uh...
(Eileen runs away)
Rigby: Wait! Where are you going!?
(Mordecai and Margaret are getting ready for another run down the mountain)
Mordecai: Okay, ready?
Margaret: Yep!
(Eileen runs past Mordecai and Margaret, breathing heavily)
Margaret: Woo! Yeah!
Mordecai: Look's like somebody's having fun!
(Back at the ski lift, another ski employee is flirting with a woman)
Ski Employee 3: So, yeah. I just keep it moving all day. What about you? You keep it moving around here often?
(With the ski employee distracted, Eileen jumps onto the ski lift, going up)
Eileen: Phew!
(Eileen then gasps as she realizes that she isn't going back down, but up into the more dangerous, expert-only Double Black Diamond section of the mountain)
Eileen: Double black diamond!? Wait, no! Stop! Turn this thing around! I wanna go down!
(Rigby watches Eileen screaming from below)
Rigby: Eileen!
(Rigby runs to the ski lift with his tube, knocking the ski employee and woman over, and jumping onto the chair lift. Eileen is holding onto the chair lift for dear life as she sees how high the mountain goes. Rigby is two chairs away from Eileen and screams to communicate)
Rigby: Eileen! What are you doing!?
Eileen: I told you! I'm getting my scarf!
Rigby: Stop lying! Just tell me what's wrong!
Eileen: I'll tell you what's wrong! The thrills, the chills, the spills - snow tubing is not for me!
Rigby: How do you know!? You've never tried it!
Eileen: I did try it! When I was little, I went snow tubing with my dad!
(As Eileen gives a monologue, a flashback begins of as infant Eileen and her dad snow tubing)
Eileen: We tried to hit a jump, but we inertia worked against us!
(In the flashback, Eileen's dad falls off the snow tube and falls into the snow, flinging Eileen into the sky)
Eileen: The cold air felt like death on my face! And then...
(In the flashback, Eileen falls into the snow and the flashback ends)
Eileen: That's when I got this!
(Eileen reveals a scar on her right elbow. However, as Rigby is too far behind, he can't see it)
Rigby: What am I looking at, exactly!?
Eileen: A scar! A bad one!
Rigby: Oh...
Eileen: Yeah! Ever since then, I've been afraid of snow tubing! I was just too embarrassed to tell you! I didn't wanna ruin the trip! I knew how much it meant to you!
Rigby: You shouldn't be embarrassed! I freak out over small spaces all the time! I'm not ashamed of my mucastaphobia!
Eileen: (giggles) Claustrophobia. And you're right!
(Rigby and Eileen smile at each other. When they get to the top, Rigby and Eileen jump off and reunite)
Eileen: I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you from the start.
Rigby: It's okay. I don't wanna make you do something you don't want to.
(Rigby and Eileen hug)
Rigby: Ready to go back? Hot chocolate's on me!
Eileen: Yeah, let's go.
(Back at the bottom of the ski lift, the employee is putting a bandage around the woman's leg, after Rigby knocked her down. He checks his watch)
Ski Employee 3: Ooh, closing time! So, you've, uh, seen how I keep things moving, lemme show you how I...slow things down.
(The employee presses a button on his control panel which stops the lifts from moving. One of the chairs reach the top with a sign reading "PARK CLOSED")
Rigby: Uh-oh.
Eileen: No! No, no, no, no! Hey!
(Eileen shouts down to the ski employee)
Eileen: We're up here! Hello, anybody!?
(Lower down on the mountain, Margaret is pulling Mordecai out of a snow pile)
Margaret: Did you hear something?
Mordecai: (laughs) Epic spills...
(Back at the top of the mountain, Eileen continues shouting for help)
Eileen: Hello! Somebody, help!
Rigby: Don't worry. I'll just call Mordecai.
(Rigby pulls out his phone, but sees a message reading "NO SERVICE")
Rigby: No service?
(Panicking, Rigby walks around to find some signal)
Rigby: Wait, I got a bar!
(Rigby accidentally drops his phone off the slide of a cliff)
Rigby: Whoops. Well, I needed a new phone anyway. (giggles)
(Eileen starts hyperventilating again and grabs Rigby)
Eileen: What are we gonna do!?
Rigby: Hmph, hmph! There's only one way out of this...
(Rigby picks up his tube)
Rigby: Snow t-t-t-tubing!
Eileen: Are you crazy? A double black diamond in the dark? That's a death sentence!
Rigby: Look, Eileen. I know we can do this. I won't let anything happen to you.
(Rigby offers Eileen his hand. Looking petrified, she looks at Rigby)
Rigby: You just gotta trust me.
(Eileen takes Rigby's hand and they both sit on the snow tube. They look down to see a steep cliff)
Rigby: This is it. Get ready for thrills and chills.
Eileen: And spills?
Rigby: Not this time.
(Rigby puts on a pair of ski goggles)
Rigby: Hmph, hmph!
Eileen: Okay. On three. One...two...
(Suddenly, wind blows behind the couple and pushes their tube down the slope)
Eileen: No, no!
(Rigby and Eileen both scream as they tube down the mountain. They maneuver around some corners before continuing to slide down a steep slope. They then enter a tunnel, where some natural ruby crystals are seen, along with a roaring yeti, and the skeleton of a dead ski employee)
Dead Ski Employee: Keep it moving...
(They leave the tunnel and find themselves heading for some trees)
Eileen: Trees!
(Rigby moves around the trees, only for them to find themselves heading for a pile of rocks along with skeletons of dead tubers)
Eileen: Rocks!
(Rigby moves over the rocks, just barely, only for them to find a bear in front of them)
Eileen: Grizzly bear!
(The bear growls at the couple, but Rigby uses it as a ramp and flies them both off of it into the air. They are both detached from the tube while in the air, but manage to land back into it when reaching the ground. Ahead of them is a huge crevasse between the mountains, which looks to be impossible to get past)
Eileen: Oh, no!
(Eileen holds tightly onto Rigby as their tube goes flying over the crevasse. They both scream, but just barely make it to the other side. Their impact however causes an avalanche to begin. Back at the bottom of the mountain, Mordecai and Margaret are waiting for their friends, worried about their lack of appearance)
Margaret: They should've been backed by now. Do you think they're okay?
Mordecai: Eh, I'm sure they're fine. Rigby knows this mountain like the back of his hand.
Margaret: Wait, what's that?
(Mordecai points to the back of his hand)
Mordecai: It's like, this part right here.
Margaret: No, that!
(Margaret points at Rigby and Eileen tubing down the mountain. They begin to lose control of their tube and start sliding all over the place and getting covered in snow, causing them to get stuck in the middle of a giant snowball. The snowball heads for Mordecai and Margaret, who quickly jump out of the way, leading the snowball to crash into a log cabin. Mordecai and Margaret look through the hole in the cabin, created by the snowball, to see Rigby and Eileen crashed out)
Eileen: That...was awesome! I've never felt more alive in my entire life! We were going so fast and ramped up a bear and flew over this crevasse, and -
(Rigby lifts his head and groans, before passing out. The next day, the group are back at Cannon Run Mountain. Eileen is showing Mordecai and Margaret the scar on her elbow)
Margaret: Wow, Eileen. No wonder you were so afraid to go tubing.
(Mordecai squints at the scar)
Mordecai: What am I looking at, exactly?
(Margaret elbows Mordecai)
Eileen: I'm sorry I was acting so weird yesterday. Hopefully, this extra day will make up for lost time. 'Cause I need me some of that fresh pow-pow! Woo!
(Eileen grabs Rigby's arm)
Eileen: We're gonna hit every slope!
Rigby: Uh...
(Eileen drags Rigby away with their tube to a slope)
Eileen: I call front this time!
(Eileen jumps into the front of the tube, while Rigby gets in the back)
Eileen: Bring on the thrills, chills and spills! Yeah-yuh!
(The couple go down the slope slowly, stopping before they even reach a ramp. Eileen sits in the tube looking shocked)
Eileen: That's it!?
End of "Snow Tubing"