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| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
(Episode begins at Pops' house where both Mordecai and Rigby are playing a video game.)
Mordecai: Which way am I gonna go? Which way am I gonna go?
(Turns out, the duo are playing a basketball game. The phone rings in the background while Mordecai's player makes a slam dunk.)
Mordecai: Stuffed again!
(Pops come into the room with the phone.)
Pops: Mordecai, it's for you.
Mordecai: Dude, pause it.
(Mordecai stops playing but Rigby ignores him. Mordecai slaps him in order to get Rigby's attention.)
Mordecai: Pause it!
(Mordecai gets up to answer the phone.)
Rigby: Okay! Okay! Geez.
(The scene cuts to Mordecai heading to the telephone and putting it to his ear.)
Mordecai: Hello?
Margaret (on phone): Hey, Mordecai. It's Margaret.
(The camera zooms in on a shocked Mordecai. Rigby continues to play the basketball game without Mordecai.)
Rigby: Which way am I gonna go? Which way am I gonna go?
(Rigby makes a shot with his player and laughs.)
Rigby: Eat on that, Mordecai.
(Rigby quickly changes his facial expression as he notices Mordecai. He pauses the game as Mordecai walks up to Rigby.)
Mordecai: Dude, Dude, Margaret just called.
Rigby: What? Why?
Mordecai: She wants me to make her a website.
Rigby: Boo! What about our game of "Hoop Jams 5000?"
(There is a brief moment of silence.)
Rigby: Mordecai?
(Rigby looks up to see Mordecai running up the stairs.)
Rigby: Ugh!
(Rigby heads up to Mordecai, who is currently on the computer.
Rigby: Mordecai! Come on, man!
(Rigby takes the sheet of paper on the desk and looks at it.)
Rigby: You can't even do it right now, anyway. Muscle Man has the computer for the whole day.
Mordecai: What? He's not even here. He's playing basketball.
(Mordecai turns around to see Muscle Man and Fives playing a game of basketball together. Muscle Man shoots the ball through the hoop and scores.)
Muscle Man: Boom-skaka-laka!
Mordecai: Oh, well. You snooze, you lose. I'm sure this will only take a second anyways.
(He starts up the computer, but Muscle Man suddenly appears at the door.)
Muscle Man: What are you doing?
(Muscle Man breathes once through his mouth.)
Muscle Man: Did you not see the sign-up sheet?
Mordecai: You were outside playing basketball. I figured -
Muscle Man: Oh, you figured? You figured you'd use the computer on someone else's time slot?
Mordecai: Well, dude -
Muscle Man: You wait your turn just like everybody else in this joint. Now get lost. I got to watch my downloads.
(Mordecai and Rigby go into their room.)
Mordecai: Ugh! Why does he have to be such a jerk?
(Mordecai and Rigby hear Muscle Man laughing in the background. The duo look out through their bedroom window and notice that Muscle Man has gone back outside to play basketball with Fives.)
Mordecai: Oh, forget this.
(Mordecai and Rigby head to the computer. Mordecai sits down and the split second he clicks his mouse, an angry Muscle Man appears)
Muscle Man: Did I not make myself clear?
Mordecai: What? You're not even using it!
Muscle Man: I'm waiting for an e-mail from this hottie I met online yesterday.
Rigby: What? You met your mom online yesterday?
Muscle Man: Why you got to take it there bro? Oh, you fools definitely aren't getting the computer now.
Rigby: Who you calling fool?
Mordecai: Dude, I need the computer to make a webpage for Margaret. How about we play you a game of basketball for it?
(Muscle Man blows a raspberry and laughs.
Muscle Man: You guys don't stand a chance.
Mordecai: Oh, yeah? Winner gets the computer for a week.
Muscle Man: Oh, you're on.
(We circle-wipe transition to Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man and High Five Ghost on the basketball court.)
Muscle Man: All right, ladies. Why don't you go first?
(Muscle Man passes the ball to Mordecai.)
Mordecai: Check.
(Mordecai passes the ball back to Muscle Man.)
Muscle Man: Mate.
(Muscle Man passes the ball to Mordecai once again. Mordecai tries to pass the ball to Rigby, but Muscle Man prevents him from doing so by stealing the ball from him. Muscle Man runs to the nearest hoop whilst continuing to dribble the ball. Whilst doing so, High Five Ghost prevents Rigby from trying to get the ball off of Muscle man by blocking him. After Muscle Man jumps up and scores, he starts laughing.)
Mordecai: Ah!
(Muscle Man continues to celebrate.)
Muscle Man: Yeah, baby!
(Rigby passes the ball to Mordecai, but Mordecai can't move anywhere or shoot from afar as Muscle Man is blocking him from behind.
Muscle Man: Go ahead. You can't make it from there.
(Mordecai decides to shoot from afar to no avail. After the basketball hits and bounces off the solid rim, Muscle Man once again celebrates.)
Muscle Man: Oooooh! Brick!
Mordecai: Ugh!
(High Five Ghost floats and dribbles the ball for a bit and stops once he reaches Rigby. Fives passes the ball to Muscle Man and after catching it, he dribbles the ball for a bit and puts his left hand out to block Mordecai. He then passes the ball to Fives, allowing him to score. Rigby makes his way to the hoop whilst dribbling the ball. Whilst taking aim, Fives whacks the ball out of Rigby's hands.)
Muscle Man: Oh, snap.
(Muscle Man dribbles the ball, and prevents Mordecai from blocking him by doing a 180. He quickly scores before Mordecai can steal the ball. The next round sees Fives scoring from afar and blocking both Mordecai and Rigby with his hands. After the ball goes through the hoop, Muscle Man and Fives put their hands up and celebrate for a bit. After that, Muscle Man score again. After the ball goes through the hoop twice, we cut to Mordecai blocking Muscle Man.)
Muscle Man: Hey, Mordecai, you're looking a little confused. Did you know that we only need one more point to win?
Mordecai: What?
(After Muscle Man knocks over Mordecai, he shoots from afar and scores.)
Muscle Man: Uh! Boom-shaka-laka! Computer rights for a week! You know who else likes to score so she can get computer rights for a week? My mom!
(A bicycle bell rings in the distance as Mordecai and Rigby notice Margaret riding a bicycle.)
Margaret: Hey, Mordecai. Thanks for helping me with the website.
Mordecai: No problem.
(Mordecai watches Margaret as her buttocks move up and down while she rides her bike.)
Mordecai: Muscle Man, computer rights for a month.
Muscle Man: I don't know, bro. I think it's worth more to you than that.
Mordecai: Two months.
Muscle Man: Deal.
Muscle Man:Wo-ho! Oh! Oh! Oh! Yes! Two months of computer rights. Looks like Margaret will just have to go without her webpage, you loser. Huh!
Mordecai: Ugh! This can't be happening! Basketball sucks!
Basketball King: What did you say about basketball?
Mordecai: Uh. Nothing.
Basketball King: Yeah. That's what I thought. You know, you only think it sucks because you don't know the fundamentals.
Muscle Man: Save your breath, old man. These jokers are a lost cause.
Basketball King: Not to me, they're not. I'm the best basketball coach that ever lived. I can train anybody.
Muscle Man: Whatever, Grandpa. If you want to waste your time, that's your business. I got three years of computer time I need to start using. Come on, Fives. Let's go check the weather report.
Basketball King: Don't worry, Mordecai and Rigby. I'm going to teach you to play circles around that little pot-bellied leprechaun. How does that sound?
Mordecai: That sounds awesome.
Basketball King: Man, I don't believe this. Did you guys seriously have to be the worst basketball players of all time?
Mordecai: Dude, come on. We're trying our best.
Rigby: Yeah. We just need a little more practice.
Basketball King: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! No! You just need to not play basketball, but I can't have that pudgy green idiot talking trash about my coaching, so, so I'm just going to give you the powers.
Mordecai and Rigby: Ah! Sweet!
Basketball King: Now ice that green fool so you can make that hot chick a webpage.
Mordecai: Sup now, losers? You ready to get destroyed?
Muscle Man: I don't know if I have the energy to see how bad that old man trained you. If I'm going to get out of this seat, you're going to have to make it worth my time.
Mordecai: Computer rights for life. One game, winner takes all.
Muscle Man: Oh! Ho! This is going to be too sweet. Now that the stakes are serious, we're going to play a real game of basketball. First person to twenty-one wins. Street rules!
Mordecai: Fine with me.
Muscle Man: What? How did you?
Rigby: Stay out my kitchen!
Mordecai: Denied!
Muscle Man: What? Impossible!
Rigby: Oh!
Muscle Man: No one could've trained them that crazy. Take a dive, Fives. I've got a plan.
Hi Five Ghost: Ah! Oh!
Muscle Man: Oh, dudes! Fives is hurt.
Mordecai: Dude, get up.
Muscle Man: Hey, bro. You just took out my teammate. Now I get to choose anyone in the park and I choose that guy.
Mordecai and Rigby: Aw, what?
Rigby: You can't do that.
Basketball King: Sorry, guys, but the rules are the rules. He can't play you two-on-one.
Muscle Man: That's right. You better give me some of those powers, too. Aw, yeah! It's on, ladies. What? What now? W-W-W-W-Which way am I going to go? Which way am I going to go? This is going to be so easy.
Rigby: Yeah, for us. In your face!
Muscle Man: Actually, bro. In yours! Yee! Nineteen-seventeen, us. Game point.
Rigby: Aw, what? How are we losing?
Muscle Man: Um. Maybe because you suck and I hate you!
Mordecai and Rigby: Hm! Hm! Hm! Hm! Hm!
Muscle Man: Oh, snap!
Rigby: How does it feel to know that you're going to have to use the Internet at your mom's for the rest of your life?
Muscle Man: Joke all you want, Rigby, but the next basket wins the game and you guys are going down.
Rigby: Come on. D up, Mordecai.
Basketball King: You better listen to your friend, Mordecai, because this is about to get serious up in here.
Muscle Man: Let go of it!
Basketball King: Hold on!
Mordecai: I'm open! I'm open!
Muscle Man: Oh, no!
Rigby: Do it!
Mordecai: Aw. Dude, we did it. We won!
Rigby: Yeah!
Muscle Man (coughs) Oh, no, bro.
Rigby: Yeah! We get the computer for life!
Basketball King: Hey, guys, good game.
Mordecai: Thanks, man.
Rigby: Yeah, thanks, dude.
Muscle Man: Man, I could've kept Fives in there and he still would've played better "D" than you.
Basketball King: Come on, man. That was a good game.
Muscle Man: Whatever. I'm out of here.
Basketball King: I hope he doesn't give up on basketball because of this. That guy could really stad to lose some weight.
Margaret: Mordecai! Hey, Mordecai!
Mordecai: Margaret! Hey! How are you?
Margaret: Good. Good. Hey, you looked pretty hot out there.
Mordecai: Ha! Ha! Yeah. I guess I am pretty hot. Hot on the trail of finishing your website. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Margaret: Oh, the website? That was two months ago, but it's okay. Eileen finished it for me. Got to run.
Mordecai: Ugh!
Basketball King: Time speeds up in space, bro, but hey. Look on the bright side. At least she said you're hot.