Skips vs. Technology/Transcript

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OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!

This page is the transcript for "Skips vs. Technology".

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[Episode begins with a montage of Skips fixing things from 1783 to the present whilst The Beach Boys' "I Get Around " plays. Cut to Skips walking by Mordecai and Rigby in the computer room]

Mordecai: I think it's broken, dude.

Rigby: Here, try this.

Skips: Hey, something need to be fixed in here?

Mordecai: Skips, come help us.

Rigby: Yeah, Skips can fix anything.

Skips: What's broken?

Rigby: So we created this project in E-designer plus, right?

Mordecai: Then we tried printing it, but it gave error 219.

Skips: Uh huh.

Rigby: We doubled checked and the driver is definitely installed.

[From Skips' point of view: Mordecai and Rigby make computer sounds and point to various computer parts]

Mordecai: So you can fix it?

Skips: (unsure) Sure. [taps a key with a hammer]

[More pop-ups appear on the computer screen, alarms sound off]

Skips: [gasps and roars as he prepares to smash the computer] We gotta destroy this!

Mordecai: No! Stop! (M&R grunt and try to stop him)

Rigby: Skips, it's just a computer!

Mordecai: Put it down, dude!

Skips: Fellas, I've been around the block a few times. There's something evil in that computer, we gotta smash it.

Rigby: Please, stop!

[Mordecai, Rigby and Skips pant]

Mordecai: You don't know how to fix this, do you?

Skips: What!?

Rigby: [points at Skips] Woah, you totally don't know how to fix this, do you?

[Mordecai punches Rigby]

Rigby: Ow!

Mordecai: Skips, it's okay. You don't have to know how to fix everything! Don't worry, we'll take care of it.

Skips: [skips to the door and pauses] I can fix anything, you know.

Mordecai: Yeah, Skips, we know.

[Skips leaves the room]

Rigby: Dude, I thought Skips could fix everything.

Mordecai: Well, yeah, but not computers. Come on, let's figure this out ourselves.

[Montage of Skips reading about computers in the library. Cut to the house]

Skips: Mordecai, Rigby! I figured out how to fix error 219. [skips up to computer and presses a button]

[Computer blanks and then more pop ups show up. Printer explodes and starts shooting out paper]

Mordecai: Skips, what are you doing!?

Skips: I was just trying to fix your error 219!

Rigby: [groans] But it's not a 219 anymore!

Mordecai: Yeah, while you were gone, we messed it up and now it's an error 220!

Rigby: [groans] Dude, it's even worse now!

Mordecai: Look, Skips, it's fine. We called someone to come fix it.

Skips: You what? Look guys, I can do this. I just need more time. When is this guy supposed to get here?

Mordecai: In an hour.

Skips: Okay, look, I can take care of this. If he gets here before me, stall him.

Mordecai: Why?

Skips: Just do it!

Rigby: Geez!

Mordecai: Okay, okay!

[Skips exits]

Rigby: Man, what's Skips' problem?

Rigby: I don't know. I think he needs to realize there's some things he just can't fix.

[Montage of Skips driving around computer help places. Cut to 'Computer Help Zone'. Skips enters and see the 2 employees chiling.]

Skips: I need to know how to fix an error 220.

Employee 1: Guh, we don't know.

Employee 2: Yeah, look it up on the internet.

Skips: I don't know how to use the internet.

[Employes show shocked looks to Skips. Cut to Skips putting five dollars into a slot]

Employee 1: Okay, first, open the internet.

Skips: Uh, which one's the internet?

Employee 1: Guh, open the internet! [points at screen] Just use the mouse and click the internet button.

Skips: Uh......... [moves mouse aimlessly]

Employee 1: [points at screen again] Look, see those? They're called programs! (bangs on the screen) Now click the internet to open the internet!

Skips: Uh......... [clicks aimlessly]

[Computer sounds and programs open]

Employee 1: No, what are you doing!? You can't just open a ton of programs at once, it just makes the computer go really slow.

Employee 2: Yeah, don't you know?

Employee 1: Guh! You're worse than my parents asking me computer questions over the phone! I'm taking a break.

Employee 2: Yeah, me too.

[Both employees walk away]

Employee 1: Hey, Techmo, help this guy with his computer problem, we're taking our break.

[Door slams, Skips groans]

Techmo: Skips!

Skips: Techmo. Do I know you?

Techmo: Oh, you probably don't recognize me. My name used to be Sampson. Remember, you fixed my arm back in 1783?

Skips: (lights up) Oh yeah! How's the old arm holding up?

Techmo: Oh, uh, I traded it in for an upgrade a few years back. [hand rotates] Pretty cool, huh? So, what brings you here?

Skips: I'm trying to figure out how to fix an error 220.

Techmo: Pfft, easy. Just hold the power button, wait five seconds and press print. Got that?

Skips: [silent] Power button?

Techmo: Oh boy. [arm sounds] You know what, Skips? I get that you're more of a hands on learner. How 'bout you join me at a house call? See me fix one for real?

Skips: Okay?

Techmo: Let's do this.

[Cut to Techmo driving]

Techmo: Wanna hear my band? [puts casette tape in]

[Techno remix of "Yankee Doodle" plays. Car comes to a hault and Skips and Techmo come out]

Skips: [groans] Oh, great, your house call's in this house?

Techmo: [walks towards house] Remember when you fixed my arm here? Hard to believe it used to be a battle field, huh?

[Cut to computer room where paper is raining]

Mordecai: You're making it worse!

Rigby: Stop pressing things!

[Computer's CD and floppy drive slide in and out]

Techmo: What did you guys do!?

Mordecai: Techmo! Come quick!

[Techmo walks in]

Rigby: Hurry!

Skips: [walks in] Whoa.

Mordecai: Oh, uh, hey Skips.

Skips: Thanks for stalling him.

Techmo: [sits down] Okay, dudes, brief me.

Rigby: It still won't print our file.

Mordecai: The monitor just started flashing.

Rigby: [gives Techmo paper] And about twenty minutes ago, these started coming out of the printer.

[Paper says 'Your skills megabte/You'll never find 220/Printing a file? Ha! <3 Error 220']

Techmo: A threatening haiku? This is mad. Don't worry, dudes. [pulls out keyboard and plugs in] Elevate keyboard! [second keyboard appears]

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa!

Skips: What the-

Techmo: [cracks knuckles] Error 220, let's dance.

[Montage of Techmo trying to fix the error only to find more errors and that Error 220 is still there]

Techmo: [groans in frustration] Elevate keyboard! [third keyboard appears]

[Montage continues with Techmo tapping at holograms. Techmo fixes the error, but finds out he was tricked]

Skips: Can somebody fill me in on what's happening!? Are we still just trying to print something!?

Techmo: This is the worst error 220 I've ever seen. I've got no choice - I'm jacking in. [connects himself to the computer]

Skips: Are you sure we just can't smash it?

Mordecai: Skips! Just let him do his thing!

Skips: Alright.

Techmo: [plugs wire into his head] I'm in!

[Cut to inside of the computer]

Techmo: I see it! [runs towards error 220 and unsheaths sword] Error 220! Prepare to be pwned!

[Rumbling sound]

Techmo: What!?

[Error 220 sprouts wires and rises out of the ground]

Techmo: Error 220!?

[Error 220 wire rubs words off of top to reveal Doom Ma Geddon]

Doom Ma Geddon: No, technomancer. It was I, the Doom Ma Geddom virus all along! Thanks to you, we will now be able to digitize the external world!

Techmo: Wait, we!?

Doom Ma Geddon: Yes. Prepare to be assimilated! [wires begin to move] Resistance is dumb! [wires trap Techmo]

Techmo: Noooo!

[Cut back to the outside. Techmo is glitching]

Techmo: Skips! Remember how I told you never to smash a computer? I was wrong! [collapses]

[Cut to black. Techmo rises again possessed by Doom Ma Geddon]

Doom Ma Geddon: Thank you for releasing the Doom Ma Geddon virus. Goodbye. [shoots wires out, each wire digitizing anything it touches]

Skips: I knew that computer was evil! We've gotta destroy it before it's too late.

[Wire attacks Mordecai, Mordecai shouts. Wire heads for Pops, Pops runs away screaming. Skips runs for the computer. Doom Ma Geddon blocks]

Mordecai: Don't worry, Skips, we got this!

[Mordecai and Rigby run for the computer to be blocked]

Skips: Techmo, no!

Doom Ma Geddon: There is no more Techmo, only Doom Ma Geddon. [sends giant cursor flying towards Skips] Now die!

Mordecai: He's just too fast.

Skips: Too fast?

Rigby: What are gonna do?

Skips: On the count of three, you guys make a break for the keyboard and keep opening programs, as many as you can.

Mordecai: Okay, got it.

Rigby: What're you gonna do?

Skips: Me? [picks up sledgehammer] I'm gonna fix this. Okay, one, two three! [runs to Doom Ma Geddon]

[Doom Ma Geddon makes a sledgehammer, Mordecai and Rigby run to the keyboard]

Doom Ma Geddon: A sledgehammer? Really? An analogue relic in a digital world. [pushes Skips] Ironic, really, that a dinosaur like you will be the first thing to be digitized. Goodbye. [laughs]

[Processing sound goes off, Doom Ma Geddon freezes. Mordecai and Rigby gesture thumbs up]

Doom Ma Geddon: What did you do!?

Skips: Don't you know? If you open a bunch of programs, you'll slow down. [does a javelin throw with the sledgehammer]

Doom Ma Geddon: No, no no!

[Sledgehammer destroys computer, everything goes back to normal]

Techmo: [rises] Wow. Skips, I gotta say, I've know some great technomancers in my day, but none of them have defeated Doom Ma Geddon! If I had the authority, I'd make you an honorary technomancer.

Skips: Thanks, Techmo.

Techmo: [arm alarm sounds] Well, duty calls. [teleports away]

[Printer starts printing]

Skips: [gasps] No! [charges towards printer]

Mordecai: [stops Skips] Skips, wait! This is what we were trying to print all along! [hands paper to Skips]

Skips: Huh? [reads paper out loud] 'Thanks Skips for all your help around the park. We all really appreciate you, Mordo and Rigs.' Aww, thanks fellas.

Mordecai: Aww man. Benson's gonna kill us when he sees all this broken stuff.

Rigby: Maybe if we bury everything in the yard he'll never know!

Skips: You guys just leave it to me.

Mordecai and Rigby: Thanks, Skips.

[The Beach Boys' "I Get Around" plays as Skips fixes the computer room.]

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