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This page is the transcript for "Skips Strikes".

(Episode begins with the guys at Stardust Lanes as Skips bowls a strike)

Benson: Man, Skips is on fire tonight. Another perfect game.

Mordecai: We're going to the championship baby!

Man: You guys wouldn't be so great if it wasn't for Skips.

Mordecai: Well, we can't help that he's just plain awesome, right Skips?

Skips: Hey, that's just how I roll.

Mordecai, Rigby and Benson: Ooooooooh!

Benson: There she is guys. Isn't she a beaut?

Rigby: I want that beaut.

Benson: So who are we up against?

Mordecai: Some team called the Magical Elements.

Rigby: The Magical Elements. Hm, hm, more like the Magical Loserments.

Death: (offscreen) What did you say about us?

(Screen goes to Death, Gary and the leader of The Guardians of Eternal Youth)

Death: So, you blokes must be the Park Strikers. If you ask me, you're in for quite a beatdown.

Guardian: Yes, our team has stood undefeated for thousands of years. No mortal stands a chance against the Magical Elements.

Gary: Shouldn't be a problem, these guys are out of their element for even being here.

Rigby: No, you're out of your element. You and your lame matching uniforms. I bet those aren't even...

(Gary makes Rigby's mouth go away)

Employee: Hey, what did I tell you guys about usin magic? Do you want to be in this league, Well then no magic stuff alright?

(Gary makes Rigby's mouth reappear)

Death: No matter, magic or not, we're still gonna beat you chumps.

Skips: Well, that's just your opinion, Death.

Death: No, its a fact: get used to it!

Rigby: Get used to this. We're gonna rub those trophies in your face, right after we rub these bowling bags in your face.

Mordecai, Rigby and Benson: Ooooooooh!

Death: (growls)

(Cuts to to Giorgio's Tower of Pizza)

Benson: Who would of thought that a manatory team building activity would get us to the championship.

Mordecai: Thanks to my power hook.

Rigby: No way! Thanks to my atomic fireball!

Benson: And because of my backup ball. (laughs) Who are we kidding? Our team would suck without this guy.

Mordecai: Yeah-yuh! With Skips, we got the Magical Elements beat.

Benson: To Skips, the only reason we're gonna win.

Skips: Alright guys, I'll be back.

Waiter: Ok, we got a carnivore deluxe here.

Rigby: Oh yeah, yeah!

Benson: Finally!

(Scene goes to Skips washing his hands in the bathroom. He hears Death laugh)

Skips: I know it's you, Death.

(Death comes out of a stall)

Death: Ello, Skips.

Skips: What do you want? I gotta get back to dinner with my friends.

Death: Aw, yes. Friends. Tell me, Skips, these friends - they idolize you yeah?

Skips: Nah nah, it's respect.

Death: I wouldn't respect the Skips I know.

Skips: What are you talking about?

Death: You know that I know that you've been lying to them for a long time. We wouldn't want our little secret to come out now would we?

(Dramatic music plays)

Skips: Death, that's not who I am anymore. If that secret came out, it could ruin me.

Death: Yeah, I guess it could. Sit the game out and I won't tell. Think it over.

(Back at the park house. Mordecai, Rigby and Benson are in the living room)

Benson: First on the agenda is trophy talk. (pulls the paper away revealing a chart of what days each of the guys have the trophy) Who gets the trophy on what day. I think the schedule is more than fair.

(Skips comes into the living room)

Benson: Oh, perfect timing.

Skips: Look, I've got something to say.

(Puts his bowling shirt on the table)

Skips: I can't play in the tournament.

Benson: What?

Mordecai: Why?

Skips: I, I just can't. Sorry.

Benson: Ok. Next on the agenda, losing and how to deal with it, because we're gonna lose.

Mordecai: I'm cool with forfeiting.

Rigby: No! We can't!

Benson: It's just a trophy.

Rigby: That trophy is more than just a trophy. We can't let Death win. Skips isn't the team. We are. The past. That was Skip's time. Skip's time. Now, it's our time! Our time! Sure, this is a setback. But that just means we got to train harder! Are we gonna win that trophy?

Benson and Mordecai: Yeah!

Rigby: Are we gonna wipe that smug look off of Death's face?

Benson and Mordecai: Yeah!

Benson: Ok, who are we gonna get to replace Skips?

(Scene goes to Stardust Lanes and Pops bowls the bowling ball and knocks out one pin)

Pops: Yay! One pin, one pin!

Death: Well, if it isn't the Park Strikers. Hey, what happened to Skips?

(Pops is seen laughing and doing the worm)

Death: Oh, that's not Skips. Just some bloke with a fat head.

(He laughs and Rigby looks worried)

Death: Oh, Rigby, don't forget about our little wager. Good day, gents.

Mordecai: Rigby, what is he talking about?

Rigby: Uh...

(The scene transitions to a flashback of what happened last night when they were dissing the Magical Elements)

Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson: Ohhhhh!!!

(Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, and Skips all walk out of Stardust Bowling Alley until Rigby remembers he forgot is towel)

Rigby: Oh man! I forgot my bowling towel.

(Rigby goes inside to retrieve his bowling towel with "RIGBONE" embroidered on it. He then sees the Magical Elements)

Rigby: You know, you guys shouldn't even show up tomorrow, because there is no way you can win.

(Guardian attempts to kill him, but the rest of the team hold him back)

Death: Calm down, calm down, I got this.

(He then faces Rigby)

Death: You seem pretty sure of yourself, so how about a wager? Your team's souls for these souls?

(Death pulls out a "Soul Ball", which is a glowing green bowling ball filled with ghostly, white souls. Rigby is fascinated by it)

Rigby: Whoaaaaa. Soul ball! I can rub that in so many people's faces. DEAL!

(Rigby and Death shake hands on it. The wager is now in effect.)

(The scene transitions back to present time. The gang isn't happy with what they just heard)

Mordecai: You bet our souls for a ball?

(Mordecai punches Rigby hard in the shoulder)

Rigby: OW! But it had souls in it!

(Mordecai punches Rigby again)

Rigby: Aaaah! I'm sorry. With Skips on our team, we were guaranteed to win! But after he quit, I was too embarrassed to tell you about the bet. But hey, now you know, right?

(Mordecai punches Rigby for the third time. This time, harder)

Rigby: OWWWW!!!

Mordecai: We gotta get Skips back.

(The scene transitions to the gang pulling up into Skip's driveway. The gang gets out, and Benson starts pounding on the door)

Benson: (panickingly) Skips! Skips!

Pops: Look, it's a note! (He points to a yellow note on the WELCOME mat in the front of the door)

Benson: (reading note) Dear, Park Strikers. Something from my past has come back to me to haunt me, and I'm rethinking my life. I'm going...

(The scene transitions to Skips, on the edge of a cliff. Meanwhile, the letter is being narrated by Skips in the background)

Skips: where the road takes me now. You might not see me for awhile. Sorry for letting you down.

(The scene then goes back to Benson, and the rest of the gang)

Benson: Your friend, Skips.

Rigby: What are we going to do now?

Benson: There is only one thing we can do! Kiss our souls goodbye.

(The scene transitions to the gang in Benson's station wagon, all looking very depressed)

Benson: So, we're all feeling a bit abandoned. Do you know what would help? Some tunes.

(Benson goes to turn the dial on the radio station. Unfortunately, it is playing sad music. A depressing montage begins as they drive through town with death-related signs around them. In the forest, Skips is shown burning old bowling memorabilia. Meanwhile, back at the Stardust Lanes, we see the Park Strikers sad, with the Magical Elements right by side them on top of their van with people cheering below them. Back at the forest, Skips is shown looking at old bowling photos. At the Stardust Lanes, the Park Strikers walk in sad, with Muscle Man eating chips, while HFG floats right by side him, then the Park Strikers meet with the Magical Elements, looking at the Park Strikers confidently. Back at the forest, Skips continues looking at old bowling photos. When he sees a note from the rest of the team thanking him for never letting them down, his eyes filled with tears.)

(Back at the bowling alley the Park Strikers look sad and scared while The Magical Elements prepare to win)

Announcer: We're live at the Stardust Lanes for the final game of the tournament: Park Strikers versus Magical Elements. Tonight the Strikers are not only playing for that trophy - they're playing for their souls. Ha ha ha! Benson of the Strikers is up.

Benson: Come on, come on. You can get this.

Announcer: He needs that spare.

Death: Oi, Benson! (the Magical Elements join in) Choke! Choke! Choke! Choke!

(Benson hits just five of the remaining nine pins and sighs. Death roughly pushes him out of the way and bowls a strike)

Announcer: Ho ho! Holy cow! That's another strike for the Magical Elements by Death - and another doozy for the Park Strikers, who are off to a rough start.

Benson: You're up, Pops.

Pops: Oh, time to bid my soul adieu.

Rigby: Wait - look!

(On the score monitor a large arm appears and rubs out the name "POPS", writing "SKIPS" in its place).

Park Strikers: Skips!

(Skips bowls a perfect strike and the Park Strikers cheer)

Death: That's it!!!

(Death grabs the Soul Ball)

Death: Time to kick that up a notch!

Employee: Hey, what did I tell you about using magic--!?!?

(Employee is collapsed into nothing by Gary's magic. Death throws the Soul Ball at the Park Strikers - they dodge it and it swerves onto the lane before hitting another strike, breaking the pins)

Death: Top that, losers.

Skips: Let's bowl.

(A bowling montage follows with the Park Strikers bowling fairly and the Magical Elements using magic tricks to win while the crowd cheers. The Magical Elements even use magic to prevent the Park Strikers from scoring)

Announcer: And we're down to the final frame, folks - the two teams are neck and neck. The Park Strikers are just one strike away from victory.

(The Guardian, Gary, and the Wizard are prepared to use their spells on the Park Strikers)

Death: (to Magical Elements) Wait, you guys. I've got this. (Walks to Skips) Remember our little convo, Skips? Shall I tell 'em your secret?

Mordecai: Secret? What secret?

Benson: What does he mean, Skips?

(Long pause)

Skips: My friends' souls are more important than my secret. You wanna tell 'em my real name isn't Skips? Go ahead.

(Skips bowls straight down the lane. The Magical Elements try to destroy the lane - and the alley - with their spells, but Skips' ball hits the last pin and a strike is scored)

Pops: Yay!

Benson: Yeah!

Rigby: Yeah!

(The crowd and Park Strikers cheer)

Announcer: Against all odds the Strikers win it! Yeah!

(Death grunts)

Rigby: And I believe you owe me a soul ball!

(Death throws the ball at Rigby's stomach)

Death: Take it. I've got a billion just like it. I can wait for a few more. Magical Elements - out.

(The Magical Elements spontaneously combust and the crowd rushes out to the lanes. The announcer presents the Park Strikers with the trophy)

Photographer: Strikers, strike a pose!

(Flash cuts to Benson's car. Rigby is tapping the soul ball, which roars quietly when he does so)

Rigby: Cool. This thing totally rules!

Mordecai: Yeah, it does!

Benson: Skips, I don't mean to pry but why did you change your name to Skips?

Skips: Eh, I just got tired of people asking me why my name was Walks when I always skipped.

Benson: So why do you skip?

Rigby: Yeah, why do you do that?

Mordecai: Ha ha! Yeah, I've been wondering that.

Skips: Y'know, I think you guys have heard enough secrets for one night.

Benson, Mordecai, Rigby: Aww.

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