Rigby in the Sky with Burrito/Transcript

(Episode opens with Pops's House. Mordecai is looking through some letters. He turns around to see if there's anything behind him. Rigby peeks in through the hallway holding letters himself. Mordecai gets up and starts flinging postcards and letters at Rigby. He hides, then rolls to the side. He flings his at Mordecai, who dodges. He hops on top of the sofa, but Mordecai is gone. Mordecai rolls out from uder the table, and they both fling letters at each other. Eventually Rigby falls off the sofa.)

Mordecai: The reign of your clan is over!

(He flings an envelope at Rigby, who gets up and holds up his hand in surrender.)

Rigby: For honor!

(He sticks the envelope at his body. Mordecai gets down for the sofa and pretends to slice him, and Rigby follows up by pretending to have committed seppuku.)

Rigby (continued): Samurai.

Mordecai: I thought we were ninjas.

Rigby: Eh, I'm winging it.

(He opens the envelope and takes out two papers.)

Rigby (continued): Hey, this one's for me! It's an invitation to our high school reunion.

Mordecai: No way, let me see that.

(He kneels next to him.)

Rigby: It says it's in two days.

Mordecai: What? So soon?

Rigby: We should totally go.

Mordecai: Ugh. Why? High school is so lame. Why would you wanna go back?

Rigby: Of course high school was uncool, I'm talking about how cool I was in high school, and how awesome it would be to show everyone I'm even cooler now. Here, follow me.

(They run upstairs laughing. Benson comes in and groans at the mess they left. In their room, Rigby takes out an old yearbook that says 'West Anderson High)

Mordecai: Whoa. I can't believe that you have this.

(Rigby flips over to the profiles and stops on a page.)

Rigby: Wo-ho-hoah! What do we have here?

(Rigby is looking at Mordecai's profile.)

Mordecai: Urrgh.

Rigby: "Activities - art club, dodgeball, jazz band"? Ha-ha! Oh yeah, you played the saxophone!

Mordecai: I signed up late and all the guitar spots were taken!

Rigby: That doesn't explain why you took your senior picture with it.

Mordecai: Well, yours can't be any better.

Rigby: We'll see about that.

(He starts flipping to it.)

Mordecai: I'm surprised you even got one since you didn't get your diploma.

Rigby: A-ha! Bam!

(He points to it. A picture of him riding a skateboard scooter is shown.)

Rigby (continued): Check out that photo.

(Mordecai points to something on the left page.)

Mordecai: Oh, right! It's your big To Do list! (reads) "A parting message for all you losers going to college. (takes yearbook) While you chumps write book reports and do math for 4 more years, I'm gonna be out having all the fun. Only jerks would choose more school."

(Flashback to Rigby's high school days. He is in the hallways with Mordecai talking to a girl)

Rigby: I'm gonna do way more cool stuff.

(Cut to him in the cafeteria.)

Rigby (continued): I'm gonna meet cool people! Go cool places and see cool things!

(Cut to him in the library.)

Rigby (continued): You're the ones who are gonna regret their choices!

(He gets tackled by security. Cut to him sitting outside the principal's office.)

Rigby (continued): I'll go to our reunion and rub it in your face, then you'l see!

(Cut to him talking to the principal.)

Rigby (continued): You'll all see!

Barbara: You're always making so much trouble for yourself. Now, Don never gets in any trouble when he's at school.

Mordecai: Rigby out? Then you have a long list stuff you said you'll do.

Rigby: Oh, no. Did I do anything on the list?

Mordecai: Nope.

Rigby: What do you mean? I can't go without doing something from the list?

Mordecai: Just don't go then.

Rigby: No, I have to go.I f I'm not there, they'll think I didn't do anything after high school and I'm just some loser in a dead-end job. I can't let those guys make fun of me! I've got to do something from the list!

Mordecai: Well, you only have two days, let's see what you can get done. None of time for you to become a famous heart surgeon. Hamboning for pope won't work.Get picture taken while mooning on all seven continents? That's actually really cool, but no.

Rigby: Ugh! What about getting a slam dunk in the Olympics?

Mordecai: No.

Rigby: Kill a giant squid?

Mordecai: Nope.

Rigby: Having the world record for the largest feet in the world, and then kicking the biggest butt in the world?

Mordecai: Sorry, dude.

Rigby: Ugh! There's nothing on this list that I can do in time!

Mordecai: Hmm... What about this? Skydive while eating a burrito? You can probably do that in two days. Actually, that's the only one you can do in two days.

Rigby: Okay, then I'll do it! The sky doesn't know what's comin'. This is the place?

Mordecai: This is the place. It's the only skydiving school from miles.

Jumpin' Jim: Hello? Welcome to Jumpin' Jim's Skydiving Academy. I'm Jumpin' Jim. And are you boys ready to fall in love with skydiving? (laughing)

Mordecai and Rigby: Uhhh...

Rigby: Look, I need you to teach me how to skydive before tomorrow.

Jumpin' Jim: Oh, I see you got the real fire in your belly. Well, you bet I can. So let's get you straight to the fans. Now I'm gonna strap us together tandem-style.That way you'll get a feel for what it's like.

Rigby: I have to be strapped to you?

Jumpin' Jim: No one goes alone on their first jump. It just isn't done! Alright, let's get you suited up. Now I know what you're thinking, but don't look too down, son. Not all suits can be made of Chinese silk, real Italian suede, and embroidered in Iceland. But every jumper's got to start somewhere. Ha, ha!

Mordecai: Dude, burrito.

Rigby: Yeah, I gotta make sure I can get this right. Hit me. (Mordecai gives Rigby the burrito and puts it in his skydiving suit for safe keeping.)

Jumpin' Jim: Alright, here we go. Okay. when you're in the air, you want to stay focused.There's only a limited time-frame,- Whoa, son! What are you doing?

Rigby: Eating a burrito!

Jumpin' Jim: No! No snacks on the fan!

Mordecai: Rigby! (Rigby throws the burrito in the fan, making the blades of the fan shred it, and Rigby and Jumpin' Jim get covered to the goo condiments of the burrito. Then, Jumpin' Jim throws both Mordecai and Rigby out of his academy.)

Jumpin' Jim: Stay out of my school, and stay out of my sky!

It's over. There's no other place to go skydiving!

You should just go to the reunion anyway,who cares if you didn't do anything from the list?

Who cares? Everyone! They're all gonna know! I'll just be a loser who's done nothing since high school!

Muscle Man: You know who else has done nothing since high school? MY MOM! Okay, for real, bro. If you got to go skydiving while eating a burrito, I've got this guy who owes me a favor.

What guy?

Muscle ManHis name is Johnny, he's got a plane and has been known to take people skydiving from time to time. I'll take you tomorrow after Starla and I finish brunch. And by brunch I mean...

Ok, ok, we don't need to hear it. I just need a ride to this guy.

Alright, fine.I'll take you tomorrow right after Starla and I-

This looks like kinda shady. It doesn't matter.

As long as I can jump out the plane, That's fine.

Yo, Johnny! Johnny!

Huh? What? Yo, Muscle Man. How's it going, man?

Oh, you know, it's all good. How you been?

Pretty rad.Still doing the plane thing. Oh! I finally changed my last name to Skydiver!

Nice.

Mordecai: Rigby changed his name to Trash Boat once.

Stop talking! Can we just do this?

Anyway, I'm here on business. I'm calling in the favor.

Whoa, heavy, what do you need?

My buddy Rigby here needs to sky-dive today.

I don't know, man.I have to mow the runway, and then I've got this banner flying

I said I'm calling in, Johnny Skydiver!

OK, OK, you're right, I'll take him up.But I got to fix the plane real quick. Alright, just about to ready.

How am I gonna make it? There's only 20 minutes before the reunion.

Reunion? That's where I'm headed with the banner! You can do the stunt live and skydive straight into the reunion.

Rigby: Fine! As soon as I grab my stuff, we're hitting the sky! Alright, I got the parachute to live, got the burrito to eat, and the camera to prove it.That should be everything.

Dude, this doesn't seem safe. I don't think you should do this.I mean, who cares what your old classmates think of you? It's not important.

You don't understand,you were actually cool in high school. This is my only shot.

Rigby, we're good to go!

Mordecai: Rigby, please don't do this!Just lie at the reunion, and tell people you did it. They'll never know!

Rigby: You know, maybe you're right, maybe they wouldn't. But I would. Johnny Skydiver, let's get this bird in the air!

Mordecai: Dude, come on!

Muscle Man: Let him go, bro.

Johnny: Anyway, the jump site's coming up,so let me hit you with some skydiving 101.You're gonna want to pull the cord on the right to release your parachute at anywhere between 3000 and 2000 feet. If your chute got tangled, just kick your legs like crazy. You can also grab the chute and throw it away from your body. And if that doesn't work,cut the lose and pull the preserve cord.

Rigby: What if that chute doesn't work?

Johnny: You've got the rest of your life to enjoy the view.

Rigby: Oh! oh.

Johnny: Don't worry, you'll do fine.

Rigby: Wait! You're not jumping with me?

Johnny: No, man! Someone's got to fly the plane.

Rigby: Who's flying it now? (Rigby and Johnny notice that no one's flying the plane.)

Johnny: Oh, crud!

(Johnny slides off of the screen as the plane starts losing control.)

Rigby: Whoa, ah! (the plane continues losing control) Whoa! Whoa! (slides off of the plane) Whah! Wah! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-AH-Ah-ah! (Rigby opens his eyes and notices that he's skydiving down to the reunion hall.) Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha! HA-ha-ha!! Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!!! WOOOO!!!! Heh! (Rigby takes the burrito out of his suit, and tries to get the camera, but then he finally grabs the camera. Rigby rips the top paper part of the burrito, spits it out, and then gets the picture taken of himself pretending to eat the burrito while skydiving. Then, the picture comes out of the camera, but then it fly's away.) Na! (Rigby tries takes another picture, and this time he puts the burrito under his arm, and takes the second picture out of the camera, without making it fly away.) HA! (Rigby looks at his picture of himself pretending to eat the burrito while skydiving.) Perfect! (Rigby let's go of the camera, making it fly away and puts the picture in his suit for safe keeping. Then after Rigby skydives through a cloud, he notices the roof of the Reunion Hall.)The Reunion Hall! More perfect!

Mordecai: Dude, something is wrong with his chute.

Oh no, bro.

Go away!

Mordecai: Dude, he cut away his chute!

The preserve is his last chance.

No! What do I do? What do I do? Burrito! Don't let me down, buddy! Promise to save my life before I let go of you? OK! Betrayal! Ha, Ha, Yeah! No!

Muscle Man: I don't know, man, I think that was his last burrito.

Mordecai: Wait, he's waking up!

Rigby: Uhh...Huh? Did I make it?

Mordecai: Yeah, dude. You went right through the roof.

Muscle Man: And you're not even dead.

Rigby: Uhh...Heh, heh, ha, ha, YE-HEAH!! No way I'm gonna die before all you losers, check this out! IN YO FACE!!! You thought I couldn't do it, but I did- Ugh! What the? I don't even need to skydive! Just look how ugly everyone got!

Mordecai: Wait, dude, these people are just really old.

Pops: Guys, hello!

Mordecai: Pops?

Rigby: What're you doing here? You weren't in our class.

Pops: Oh, of course not, silly.This is my class reunion.I meant to tell you my class president accidentally mailed my invitation to you.