This page is the transcript for "Rigby's Graduation Day Special".

(Episode begins by zooming out on a dandelion. Hi Five Ghost is holding it and blows it. A piece of it starts floating around; near a butterfly Pops is trying to catch, past Muscle Man and Starla who are sharing pie, through the winds over to Skips who is working on his Volkswagen, past a tree with a squirrel and birds, past a poster that says 'Come Celebrate Rigby's Graduation! This Sunday!', until it stops near Mr.Maellard, who shakes hands with Dr. Langer. Dr. Langer then takes off in his jetpack, the dust sending the dandelion floating again. It floats aways from the scientists and lands on Benson's car. One scientist is checking his briefcase as Benson appears.) 

Benson: Hey, what's going on?

Scientist: We're done. Dr. Langer gave us the order to pack up our stuff and move out.

Benson: Well, if you're all done, then that means Pam and I aren't working together anymore. I could ask her out on a date! Gotta find Pam!

(He gets into his car and drives off, causing the dandelion seed to float again. It floats in the air for a while before floating near the roof, where Mordecai and Rigby are playing a video game.)

Mordecai: Come on....Oh man, come on!

Rigby: Argh! No, no, no-

(The seed floats into his mouth, making him choke. He coughs it out.)

Mordecai: I win! Whooooaaaaa!

Rigby: Whatever! I don't even care, 'cause I'm graduating tommorrow. And we gon' par-tay!  You ready for my grad-party, duuuude?

Mordecai: Of course. I'm on the planning commitee.

Rigby: Cool, man. What a year. I've been learning and growing and doing so much, all while holding onto a steady girlfriend. I'm really amazing, y'know? Man, the rate I'm going, I'll probably get my college degree before you get yours.

(Rigby laughs. Mordecai does in a weak manner.)

Mordecai: Yeah. Well, in my past year I got really good at this video game.

(He holds up his controller with a grin. A phone is heard ringing.)

Rigby: Hold that thought, dude.

(He pull out his phone. Principal Dean is calling.)

Rigby: (continued) Principal Dean?

(He answers the call.)

Rigby: (continued) Hello? Come to school now? Deadly serious?

(He walks away, whispering to Mordecai.)

Rigby: (continued) I'll talk to you later.

Mordecai: "Oh, no. Graduation's cancelled. No graduation for Rigby!"

(He chuckles a bit, then sighs. He puts down his controller and crosses his arms, looking out. Cut to West Anderson High School. Rigby is with Principal Dean in his office)

Rigby: Come on, Principal Dean! You can't fail me!

Principal Dean: Who said anything about failing you?

Rigby: On the phone! You said it was "deadly serious".

Principal: Okay, I can see how that could sound ominous, but this is good news! Are you familiar with the television program "Inspire America!"?

Rigby: You mean that cheesy show with inspirational stories, then everyboby cries then everybody dances at the end?

Principal Dean: That's the one! See, Rigby, apparently you're an inspiration to this country. Most kids who drop out don't come back, but you did. So you, Rigby, are gonna give this year's graduation speech on TV.

Rigby: But graduation's tomorrow!

Principal Dean: (claps fist) Better get moving. Oh and Rigby...

(We get a close-up on Dean.)

Principal Dean: (continued) If you screw this up for me, I'm gonna eat your diploma.

(Rigby has a nervous and sweaty expression on his face. Dean suddenly points a finger.)

Principal Dean: (continued) Ha, I'm just pulling your chain. Actually, no, yeah. I will eat it.

(Rigby whimpers. Cut to Eileen's house. Mordecai, Margaret, Rigby and Eileen are watching "Inspire America!". The host, Flannery Shedlawn, is talking with an old lady.)

Flannery Shedlawn: And now back to Inspire America! Now, you have been baking cookies for lawyers for how many years now?

Old Lady: 37.

Flannery Shedlawn: An eternity! And it never occurred to you that lawyers probably make enough to buy cookies if they want them?

Old Lady: (shakes head) Never. Not once.

(Flannery sheds tears as he holds up a cookie.)

Flannery Shedlawn: Amazing. But more than amazing; inspiring. (turns to the camera) Say it with me folks: Inspire America!

(As the credit rolls, lawyers appear on the scene with Flannery and the old lady and start dancing.)

Margaret: (standing and tearing up) That was so inspirational! (starts dancing)

(Rigby whimpers.)

Eileen: Don't worry, Rigby. It's so cool you're gonna be on that show. I'm bummed I can't be there for your graduation because I'm graduating from college.

Rigby: No problem. We'll hang out at my party after. If I've learned anything from my extended high school education, it's that we have to seek beauty and truth in the ordinary. The greatest mistake a man can make is to search for flowers among the weeds, overlooking the fact that off at times, the very weeds are flowers.

Eileen: Wow, that's great. Is that the beginning of your speech?

Rigby: Pssh, no. But actually, you wanna hear what I got so far?

Mordecai: Sure, I guess.

Margaret: Totally.

Eileen: Of course!

Rigby: Okay, one sec.

(He walks out the door and turns off the lights. He puts a boom box into the room from outside, which plays music and Rigby's voice from a microphone.)

Rigby (voice from boom box): Teachers! [making a fake echo] Teachers, teachers... Students! Students, students... Other attendees! -Dees, -dees...

(Mordecai, Margaret and Eileen walk to the other side of the room.)

Rigby (continued): Puts your hands together for...

(He opens the door. He is on a scooter and is wearing a helmet with sparklers on top.)

Rigby (continued): The... Rigbone!

(Margaret and Eileen clap unenthusiastically while Mordecai remains still with his arms crossed.)

(Rigby rides on the scooter into the room, the cord from the microphone reaching its end.)

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