| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
Part 1[]
(Episode begins by zooming out on a dandelion. Hi Five Ghost is holding it and blows it. A piece of it starts floating around; near a butterfly Pops is trying to catch, past Muscle Man and Starla who are sharing pie, through the winds over to Skips who is working on his Volkswagen, past a tree with a squirrel and birds, past a poster that says 'Come Celebrate Rigby's Graduation! This Sunday!', until it stops near Mr. Maellard, who shakes hands with Dr. Langer. Dr. Langer then takes off in his jetpack, the dust sending the dandelion floating again. It floats aways from the scientists and lands on Benson's car. One scientist is checking his briefcase as Benson appears.)
Benson: Hey, what's going on?
Scientist: We're done. Dr. Langer gave us the order to pack up our stuff and move out.
Benson: Well, if you're all done, then that means Pam and I aren't working together anymore. I could ask her out on a date! Gotta find Pam!
(He gets into his car and drives off, causing the dandelion seed to float again. It floats in the air for a while before floating near the roof, where Mordecai and Rigby are playing a video game.)
Mordecai: Come on....Oh man, come on!
Rigby: Argh! No, no, no-
(The seed floats into his mouth, making him choke. He coughs it out.)
Mordecai: I win! Whooooaaaaa!
Rigby! Whatever! I don't even care, 'cause I'm graduating tommorrow. And we gon' par-tay! You ready for my grad-party, duuuude?
Mordecai: Of course. I'm on the planning commitee.
Rigby: Cool, man. What a year. I've been learning and growing and doing so much, all while holding onto a steady girlfriend. I'm really amazing, y'know? Man, the rate I'm going, I'll probably get my college degree before you get yours.
(Rigby laughs. Mordecai does in a weak manner.)
Mordecai: Yeah. Well, in my past year I got really good at this video game.
(He holds up his controller with a grin. A phone is heard ringing.)
Rigby: Hold that thought, dude.
(He pull out his phone. Principal Dean is calling.)
Rigby: (continued) Principal Dean?
(He answers the call.)
Rigby: (continued) Hello? Come to school now? Deadly serious?
(He walks away, whispering to Mordecai.)
Rigby! (continued) I'll talk to you later.
Mordecai: "Oh, no. Graduation's cancelled. No graduation for Rigby!"
(He chuckles a bit, then sighs. He puts down his controller and crosses his arms, looking out. Cut to West Anderson High School. Rigby is with Principal Dean in his office)
Rigby: Come on, Principal Dean! You can't fail me!
Principal Dean: Who said anything about failing you?
Rigby: On the phone! You said it was "deadly serious".
Principal Dean: Okay, I can see how that could sound ominous, but this is good news! Are you familiar with the television program "Inspire America!"?
Rigby: You mean that cheesy show with inspirational stories, then everyboby cries, then everybody dances at the end?
Principal Dean: That's the one! See, Rigby, apparently you're an inspiration to this country. Most kids who drop out don't come back, but you did. So you, Rigby, are gonna give this year's graduation speech on TV.
Rigby: But graduation's tomorrow!
Principal Dean: (claps fist) Better get moving. Oh, and Rigby...
(We get a close-up on Dean.)
Principal Dean (continued): If you screw this up for me, I'm gonna eat your diploma.
(Rigby has a nervous and sweaty expression on his face. Dean suddenly points a finger.)
Principal Dean (continued): Ha, I'm just pulling your chain. Actually, no, yeah. I will eat it.
(Rigby whimpers. Cut to Eileen's house. Mordecai, Margaret, Rigby and Eileen are watching "Inspire America!". The host, Flannery Shedlawn, is talking with an old lady.)
Flannery Shedlawn: And now back to Inspire America! Now, you have been baking cookies for lawyers for how many years now?
Old Lady: 37.
Flannery Shedlawn: An eternity! And it never occurred to you that lawyers probably make enough to buy cookies if they want them?
Old Lady: (shakes head) Never. Not once.
(Flannery sheds tears as he holds up a cookie.)
Flannery Shedlawn: Amazing. But more than amazing; inspiring. (turns to the camera) Say it with me folks: Inspire America!
(As the credit rolls, lawyers appear on the scene with Flannery and the old lady and start dancing.)
Margaret: (standing and tearing up) That was so inspirational! (starts dancing)
(Rigby whimpers.)
Eileen: Don't worry, Rigby. It's so cool you're gonna be on that show. I'm bummed I can't be there for your graduation because I'm graduating from college.
Rigby: No problem. We'll hang out at my party after. If I've learned anything from my extended high school education, it's that we have to seek beauty and truth in the ordinary. The greatest mistake a man can make is to search for flowers among the weeds, overlooking the fact that off at times, the very weeds are flowers.
Eileen: Wow, that's great. Is that the beginning of your speech?
Rigby: Pssh, no. But actually, you wanna hear what I got so far?
Mordecai: Sure, I guess.
Margaret: Totally.
Eileen: Of course!
Rigby: Okay, one sec.
(He walks out the door and turns off the lights. He puts a boom box into the room from outside, which plays music and Rigby's voice from a microphone.)
Rigby (voice from boom box): Teachers! [making a fake echo] Teachers, teachers... Students! Students, students... Other attendees! -Dees, -dees...
(Mordecai, Margaret and Eileen walk to the other side of the room.)
Rigby (continued): Puts your hands together for...
(He opens the door. He is on a scooter and is wearing a helmet with sparklers on top.)
Rigby (continued): The... Rigbone!
(Margaret and Eileen clap unenthusiastically while Mordecai remains still with his arms crossed.)
(Rigby rides on the scooter into the room, the cord from the microphone reaching its end.)
Rigby (continued): How's everyone do--
(The cord recoils, causing him to trip forward on his scooter and fall to the floor, as he moans in pain. The others, except Mordecai, gasp in concern. Rigby crawls towards and grabs the mic, then rises to his feet with his free arm pointing skywards.)
Rigby (continued): Y'all ready to be inspired up in this piece?!
Margaret and Eileen: Whoo, yeah!
Rigby: I said, are you ready to be inspired?!
Margaret and Eileen: Yeah! Whoo!
(The music fades as Rigby finishes his "speech".)
Rigby: That's all I got so far.
Eileen: I don't know, Rigby. It just needs a lot more… Just a lot more.
Margaret: Just speaking as someone with a lot of on-camera experience, I don't know if this will work — on camera.
Mordecai: (bluntly) Not good, man.
Rigby: (nervously) Okay, okay, good notes. Well, could you guys check out my outro, maybe?
Eileen: Yeah, let's see it!
Rigby (speaking on mic): High school goes by like a puff of smoke! PEACE OUT!
(He drops the mic, takes out a smoke bomb and throws it on the floor, causing it to explode and cover the house in a thick smokescreen as the others exclaim in surprise and all they start coughing.)
(Clockwise-wipe to the Park Dome, as Skips, Muscle Man, and Fives are gathered in the garage getting items for Rigby's graduation party. Muscle Man comes in with the trampoline bed and sets it down as Fives lays down Rigby's dirty clothes/makeshift blankets on top of it.)
Mordecai: (walks in) Sorry I'm late, guys.
Muscle Man: Where've you been, bro? We could've used some help gathering all of Rigby's favorite things for this party. I mean, the trampoline's not heavy, but it's a very awkward shape to carry alone.
Skips: No, not his favorite belongings! (Pops walks in through the entry door holding Rigby's "I'm Eggsellcent" hat) His favorite things! Like hummus, mini toasts. Food and beverages!
(Hearing this, Pops dejectedly walks back into the hallway.)
Muscle Man: Well, how am I supposed to surprise Rigby with his favorite foods at his party if I don't even know what they are? Mordecai, you're his best friend. What does he like?
Mordecai: I guess there's this fancy coffee soda he's really into: Coffini.
Skips: Perfect, take my van. (Holds out his keys)
Mordecai: (complaining) But it's seasonal! I'd have to drive all the way out to the Coffini Outlet to get it now.
Hi Five Ghost: Then he'll be extra touched that you took the time!
Mordecai: (annoyed) Is all this really necessary? I mean, graduating from high school is like the least a person can accomplish.
Hi Five Ghost: But it's a big deal for Rigby! (to Muscle Man) I can't believe I have to explain this to him.
Muscle Man: He's your best friend, dude.
Mordecai: (exasperatedly sighs) Fine.
(He takes Skips' van keys and heads out.)
Mordecai (continued): (sarcastically) I'll be back in a really long time!
Muscle Man: Man, what's with him?
Skips: Okay, so we got Mordecai on the soda, Eileen's got dessert. Hmm, anyone seen Benson?
(Cut to the Two Peaks Mall, as Benson is searching for Pam)
Benson: Pam? Pam! Pam! (sighs) This is hopeless. I've checked everywhere!
(He gasps as he notices a familiar light brown-haired woman in a lab coat.)
Benson: (excitedly) Pam!
(The woman turns her head to look at Benson, but her face shows it's...)
Benson (continued): (awkwardly waving) Not Pam. (gasps as he notices "Pam" walking along to his left) There she is!
("Pam" turns around to reveal a grotesque-looking woman with a robotic right eye who hisses at Benson, who merely grumbles in annoyance that she's not Pam either. Benson makes his way around the mall as various women wearing lab coats are roaming around, much to his confusion and dismay.)
Benson (continued): Ugh! What the—? Gah! What the—? Ugh! Pam?
(He looks up to see a banner for LABCON, a female lab coat enthusiast convention currently happening, to Benson's further dismay.)
Benson (continued): Are you kidding me?! (frantically) Pam? Pam! Pam?!
(The last line echoes as the scene fades to the desert, as Mordecai is driving in Skips' van to reach the Coffini Outlet outside the city.)
Mordecai: (exhales deeply) (his cellphone rings, he picks it up and answers) Hello?
Rigby: Mordecai! I'm freaking out. I've been writing speeches all day, and they're all junk! I'm running out of time, I don't know what to do, and all my favorite stuff is gone? (Next frame shows that Rigby's side of the bedroom is cleared out, aside from a few scattered clothes.) Where are you, dude? I really need you over here!
Mordecai: (sighs) Look, I really can't do this right now. I'm busy.
Rigby: What? But… What do I do?
Mordecai: (resentfully) I don't know. You're so smart now, why don't you go listen to a sad song and figure it out.
Rigby: (taken aback) Whoa, what? Dude!
Mordecai: I got to go.
(He hangs up, as Rigby looks confused and concerned at his friend's sudden hostile response.)
(Rigby puts in a mixtape titled "Sad Songs Mega Mix" into the cassette player and hits play, as "Here Comes a Regular" by The Replacements plays in the background for the entire montage. Rigby is in the computer room — books, papers, and snapped pencils scattered around the floor — watching a video titled "Best Speech Ever!" (which has 5 million views) of a valedictorian giving her passionate speech as he's carefully taking notes. However, the draft speech he is struggling to come up with isn't to his tastes, and throws away the crumpled paper which bounces off the trash bin. The shot of the trash bin transitions into an empty Wing Kingdom wing bucket, as Benson is shown miserably dining at the restaurant, having finished off three Big 50 buckets. He motions at the waiter to keep the orders coming, who brings him another bucket to drown his sorrows in. At the Dome, Rigby is shown on the roof of a golf cart practicing his speech in front of Skips, Pops, and Hi Five Ghost, who are prepping the graduation party. Once he finishes, Skips shakes his head signifying that his speech wasn't good, as Rigby looks worried. Meanwhile, Mordecai continues to listlessly drive across the desert to reach the Coffini Outlet as the sun sets, and glances at several road signs which increasingly bother him: "GOING NOWERE?"[sic], "Life In A Rut?", "Feel Like A Loser?", and finally, an Inspire America billboard ad with a photo of Rigby, the latter of which angers him. Suddenly, a tumbleweed blows forward and pops the front right tire, causing the van to careen around the road's edge as Mordecai is forced to make a stop. He steps out coughing from the exhaust, and looks up at a road sign that says "Coffini Outlet - 2 Miles". He makes the trek on foot and eventually reaches the place, but to his chagrin, it is closed with a sign hung in front saying the store will re-open at 5:00 AM. Tired and frustrated, he grabs some newspaper in front of him as a makeshift blanket and rests in front of the entrance until the next morning. Rigby later heads into a museum called the "Hall of Great Orators", and makes his way into a section with statues and hung paintings of famous speech-givers throughout history. He glances around and stops to stare at a statue of a college valedictorian giving his speech on the podium. After a few beats, the statue's face is replaced with that of Rigby's, as the raccoon stares on in dreamlike awe.
In the evening, a despondent Benson, mouth covered in wing sauce, is driving back to the Dome, and throws his messy bib out the window. He parks in front of Pops' house and steps out.)
Benson: (exhales deeply) Time to rebuild the wall around my heart. "The Great Wall of Benson".
(Before he can walk up the steps, his portable fax machine beeps and prints out a document.)
Benson (continued): (morosely) Oh, great, more pointless orders. (reading) "Look behind you". (turns around to see Pam standing behind him) (gasps) Pam! (wipes the wing sauce off his mouth) You're here!
Pam: Yep, I'm here. Hello!
Benson: Hello! Wow. Phew. What a relief. I thought you were leaving forever.
Pam: Sounds like quite the misunderstanding!
Benson: (chuckles) I guess so.
Pam: (reaching in her suitcase) Oh, by the way, I, I got you something. (pulls out and holds out a clipboard)
Benson: Wow! The Clip Master 5000. (takes it and reads a clipped message) "Will you go out with me?" (gasps) You're asking me out?
Pam: Yep.
Benson: (laughs) Yes. I say yes.
Pam: (chuckles) Great. You free tomorrow?
Benson: Yes! (disheartened) No! It's Rigby's graduation party. You…want to come?
Pam: I'd love to!
Benson: (gives a thumbs-up) Great! (chuckles)
Pam: See you tomorrow, Benson.
Benson: (smiles) See you tomorrow.
(The very next day, the graduation ceremony begins at the West Anderson High School football stadium, as everyone is gathered — the graduating class, friends, family, and the "Inspire America" camera crew. On stage, Principal Dean is addressing the audience from his podium.)
Principal Dean: You're all about to hear a very powerful speech from someone who has shown immense growth over the last semester. Please welcome Rigby to the stage!
(The audience cheers as Rigby, dressed in a banana costume with his grad cap, rides his way to the stage on a motor scooter. Suddenly, he loses control and screams as he runs into and knocks over several graduates, as the students make off in a panic.)
Eileen: (on the ground, clutching her leg in agony) WHY?! WHY?!?
(The camera zooms in on Rigby, horrified at what he's caused. An "Inspire America" microphone is held close to him as Flannery Shedlawn towers over him.)
Flannery Shedlawn: (slow, distorted voice) Well? Inspire us, Banana Man.
Rigby: (panicking) Oh, no! I, uh-- As many before me have said, I mean, as they say when they're talking about stuff, such as things.
(The audience jeers. A disappointed Principal Dean is shown on stage seated at a dining table, with Rigby's diploma resting on a plate. He grabs his fork and knife, cuts into it, and eats it whole.
Cut to Rigby's eyes opening wide in horror as he wakes up in his bedroom shrieking from his nightmare. He pants and struggles to stand up as several clothes are stuck on him from his cold sweat.)
Rigby: Aah! Ew! Night sweat!
(He flings away his sticky clothes one at a time. He then looks over to Mordecai's half-made bed, as he hasn't returned from running his errand. Rigby squints angrily as he silently wonders what's even going on.)
(In the desert, Mordecai's phone is lying on the sand as it suddenly rings and vibrates, with Rigby's caller ID being shown. Mordecai picks it up and beeps to answer, as he is kneeling beside the van — and a bought six-pack of Coffini cans — rolling the car jack towards him, having finished replacing the blown-out tire.)
Mordecai: What?
Rigby: Mordecai, what's going on?! How are you still not here?!
(Mordecai puts the car jack back in the van's trunk)
Mordecai: (sighs) Rigby, I just…have stuff to do, okay?
Rigby: You already said you have stuff to do. Aren't you done doing your stuff?
Mordecai: (enters the van with the Coffini) No, I'm not done!
Rigby: What could you be doing that's more important than this?
Mordecai: Come on, dude. (starts driving) You got to do this for yourself. I can't do everything for you.
Rigby: Wha-- Bah! I've been doing stuff for myself all spring! I haven't needed your help ALL SPRING! Now the one time I do, and you're not doing anything for me at all!
Mordecai: (finally had enough) Yeah, that's right. I'm not doing anything for you.
(Mordecai hangs up and throws the pack of Coffini cans out the driver's window in turbulent display of anger, jealousy, and underappreciation as he drives back to the city.)
(End of Part 1.)
Part 2[]
(At West Anderson High, the football stadium is packed in attendance as the graduation ceremony is about to begin. The Park gang are already seated in the bleachers, as Benson discusses about Pam.)
Benson: I mean, can you guys believe it? She's smart, she's funny, she's into P-mail, and she actually likes me! It's like a crazy dream!
Pops: Yes, we're all delighted on your behalf, Benson.
Skips: Yeah, you've been alone a long time.
(Rigby's parents and Don are also seated in attendance.)
Sherm: I don't understand why I had to put on a suit for this!
Barbara: Hush, Sherm!
(Margaret and Starla are also seated, as they are talking to Eileen on Margaret's phone via video chat)
Margaret: Oh! Oh, I think it's almost starting!
Eileen (on video chat): Ooh, thanks! Got my mini TV ready! Bye!
(Eileen hangs up and turns on her mini TV as she is called next to receive her diploma.)
College announcer: Class valedictorian, Eileen Roberts!
(Applause is heard as a bird's-eye view of City College is shown, which pans to the right as West Anderson High is shown next door.)
Flannery Shedlawn: (sinisterly) We're gonna wring every drop of sentiment from this kid! (chuckles evilly)
(An off-screen crew member hands him the microphone, and Flannery puts on a smile for the camera as he takes position.)
Cameraman: In five, four, three, two— (He wordlessly says "one" and gives the signal to start airing) We're live.
(The "Inspire America!" intro plays, as everyone, from a family of four, to Scottie, to a downtown crowd, is watching the live event.)
Flannery Shedlawn: We're here live at West Anderson High, where one special student is about to give the speech of his life. Oh, and here comes the principal.
(Applause is heard as Principal Dean emerges from the curtains and waves at the audience as he heads to the podium.)
Principal Dean: Ladies and gentlemen, I've been principal a long time now. I'll be honest, I thought most kids today were empty vessels staring into the void of their cell phones every second of every day.
(The graduating class are texting and taking selfies on their phones.)
Principal Dean (continued): But that all changed when I met one kid — uh, one man — one kid-sized man, who's been a great inspiration this year. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce Rigby! Uh, what on—
(The sound of a helicopter turns his attention towards the sky, as his and the graduating class' caps are blown away by the strong winds.)
Aiden: (points up) Whoa, look! (the camera pans up to show Chopper 6 soaring high above them, as Rigby, in his cap and gown, emerges at the open door) It's Rigby!
Rigby: (raises both fists) West Anderson High volleyball rules! (rolls down the ladder) Thanks for the lift, Frank!
Frank Smith: (gives a thumbs-up) Anything for my daughter's ex-boyfriend's best friend.
Rigby: Prepare to get Rigby'd, America!
(Suddenly, he loses balance and screams as he falls off the chopper and hits the stage with a hard thud, spilling his notecards. The audience gasps in concern. After a beat, he quickly rises to his feet and pretends it's all part of his act.)
Rigby: (weakly) Ta-da! (Principal Dean facepalms)
(The audience cheers anyway as the Park gang look at each other with concern.)
Principal Dean: Uh, okay. Rigby, everyone!
(He exits stage left as Rigby takes the podium, who nervously browses his notecards.)
Rigby: Okay, uh…oh. (clears throat) Hello, class.
(That meekly-sounding last word echoes as the camera zooms out to show the whole stadium watching in anticipation.)
Rigby (continued): (gulps) Lot of… A lot of people here. (sighs) Okay, uh… You may have noticed, I like to make a big entrance. "Ask Mordecai for funny punchline." (groans) (Sherm facepalms and shakes his head) Oh, I guess I never got around to, uh…
(Flannery frantically signals at the cameraman to cut the feed. Rigby whimpers loudly as Principal Dean looks on almost ready to snap.)
Rigby (continued): (clears throat, stammers) I… Let me just, uh…
(Meanwhile, Mordecai is parked outside the stadium, but refuses to watch the grad ceremony. He listens in with subdued anger and jealousy, but visibly cringes at Rigby's painful attempt at a speech, and looks on in a mix of pity and guilt. He facepalms and sighs at his friend's public embarrassment.)
Rigby (continued): Okay, hi. Let me--Let's do over. Let me do this over. Well, that's it, Rigby. You lost them, and there's no one to bail you out now. Wait. Did I say that into the mic? This was all a prank! Uh... Be right back, everyone!
(He quickly exits stage right as the audience murmurs in confusion. Principal Dean comes in from stage left to do damage control.)
Principal Dean: (chuckles nervously, clears throat) Okay, ha ha, well, that was unexpected! Guess I'll have to pidge-in while Rigby collects himself. (chuckles nervously) Sure could use a cockatiel right now. Warren, can you get some birds up here?
(On command, Warren quickly releases some ceremonial doves early from their cage as a stall tactic.)
(Backstage, Rigby is lying on the floor whimpering softly and hugging his tail. The sound of a soda can being opened brings him at attention. Next frame shows it is Mordecai who opened the Coffini can he seemingly tossed out earlier.)
Rigby: (smiles) Whoa! Is that a Coffini? But those are out of season!
(Mordecai sits down in front of him and hands him the Coffini can.)
Mordecai: Yep. I went all the way to the outlet, just for you, bro! (chuckles)
Rigby: (inspects the can) Hmm. Seems a bit dusty and dented.
Mordecai: (chuckles sheepishly) Well, look, I guess I was mad at you.
Rigby: (sips his Coffini) Ah! I noticed. The thing I don't get though is why?
Mordecai: I don't know, man. It's been a rough couple of days for me.
Rigby: (puzzled) For you?
Mordecai: Yeah. Look, I know how messed up this sounds, but…it's hard to see you doing so great. I guess I always kind of liked that I was doing better than you before.
Rigby: (arms crossed) That does sound really messed up.
Mordecai: (apologetically) I know. When I heard you embarrassing yourself out there, I realized how unfair I was being. I think it's awesome that you've worked so hard to get here. You're graduating from high school today, man! You did it!
(Rigby's expression changes from anger to beaming pride.)
Rigby: I did it!
Mordecai: And if you can do this, then that means--
Rigby: (interrupts) Wait, don't say it.
(He stands up with restored confidence and hands Mordecai his notecards.)
Rigby (continued): Let me.
(Back on stage, Principal Dean is showing the audience a tape-sized patch of ripped skin on his watch arm as an embarrassing stall tactic.)
Principal Dean: And this scar I got when I had a mole biopsied!
Rigby: (entering from stage right, to audience) The Rigbone finally has something to say!
Principal Dean: Oh, thank goodness!
(He exits stage right as Rigby takes the podium once more. The audience cheers.)
Rigby: Sorry I left earlier, everyone. I'm not good at this kind of thing. I'm not good at a lot of things. (Sir Edward Elgar's "Pomp and Circumstance" begins playing) I wasn't even good at high school. But that didn't matter, I just wanted to accomplish something. And, yeah, maybe at first I was just trying to impress my girlfriend. She's smart and cool and loves rocks and modern dance. (waves) Hi, Eileen.
Eileen: (watching on her mini TV, smiles) Hey, Rigby.
Rigby (continued): But I wouldn't be standing up here if that was all there was to it. You see, it's pretty easy not to graduate from high school. I did it by playing video games and straight-up chilling. Then when I set out to get my diploma, I figured life was gonna get a lot harder. I took what I was told were the easiest classes, and I still had to do stuff, like scale the wall of a cave.
(Mrs. Kessler is shown tapping a rock with her hammer until she looks up at her TV at the mention of her class field trip.)
(Meanwhile in China, the Class 7 students — including Apple and Kobe — are watching the live event in their classroom.)
Rigby (continued): I had to go to China, which is very far away, for those of you that didn't go to high school. I even had to beat a guy in a takeout food race.
(Francis Jablonski turns around and proudly points his thumb at Rigby's face embroidered on the back of his letterman jacket, as he mentioned at the end of "Gymblonski".)
Rigby (continued): Sounds pretty hard, right? Well, warning: What I'm about to tell you will blow your mind! Are you ready, America?
Audience: YEAH!!!
Rigby: Once you do the hard stuff, it becomes not. That. HARD. (Scottie's eyes widen as he leans closer to the TV) I may not be the man I used to be, the one who didn't graduate from high school, but, unexpectedly, awesomely, I can still do the fun stuff he did. In fact, my "Alley Fight Dudes 4" score has never been better. I've come a long, long way, and in the end, I still get to be me, but better. Now, you're probably saying to yourselves, "How did he do it?" And, "For why?" The answer is, I did these things for myself. Not to impress anyone, but because I'm surrounded by impressive people, people who lifted me up and showed me that it's possible to do great, hard things. Eileen, of course; my best friend, Mordecai; my parents, and even Don, in his own way, I guess.
(Quick shot of City College, as Eileen is excitedly running out the main entrance.)
Rigby (continued): Yes, America, today I may inspire you, but I'm just part of a larger chain reaction! Let my success today lift you up so that you, too, can do great, hard things! And after you, more people!
Little girl: I am gonna eat my crusts.
Dad: I'm gonna eat my leafy greens.
(The family's baby stands up and happily takes his first steps)
Mom: And look! Roy's walking!
Rigby: And after those people, even more people! (The graduating class stand and cheer. The downtown crowd are also cheering and waving American flags.) Billions of people, all over the world, overcoming obstacles, inspiring other people!
(Backstage, Principal Dean is crying at his former bad student's inspirational speech, and blows his nose on a tissue. Suddenly, he breaks into a tearful dance of joy. Flannery and the "Inspire America" production crew are shown crying happily and breaking into dance as well.)
Rigby (closing speech): So, graduating class, GO OUT AND DO GREAT THINGS!
(The entire stadium gives a standing ovation as the graduating class throw their caps up high in celebration.)
Pops: (laughs) Good show!
Benson: Yeah! Even I feel inspired!
(The gang's celebration is quickly halted by the sounds of their pagers going off.)
Benson: Oh! Our dome pagers. These have never gone off before.
Muscle Man: You know who else has never gone off? My--
(His usual "My Mom" joke is interrupted by their pagers beeping once again. Skips picks up his pager to read the following message: "GO BACK TO PARK IMMEDIATELY".)
Skips: Back to the park? The scientists already packed up and left. What could they need us for?
Benson: I don't know, but we'd better check it out in case Pam came back. I mean, in case the scientists, uh… (smiles) Nah. I mean Pam. Back to the park, everyone!
(The graduating class continue to celebrate while Aiden crowd-surfs among them. Mordecai is backstage applauding Rigby, but quickly stops when he hears his pager beeping and checks the message.)
Mordecai: (calling out) Rigby! Rigby!
Principal Dean: (holding Rigby's diploma) Here's your diploma, safe and sound.
Rigby: (takes it) Whoa!
Sherm: Attaboy, Rigby! Make your old man proud!
Rigby: Thanks for not eating my diploma, Principal Dean! (to the crowd) Party at the dome!
(The stadium cheers and the graduating class throw their caps up high again.)
Principal Dean: Put 'er there!
(He and Rigby shake hands and pose as a photographer prepares to take a picture of them.)
Photographer: Okay. Say "student loans!"
Rigby and Principal Dean: Debt!
(Mordecai's hands reach into frame as the camera snaps, showing a picture of a frantic Mordecai pulling Rigby away by his arm while the raccoon is clutching his diploma for dear life as Principal Dean looks confused at what happened. The letters on top of the framed photo say, "Happy Graduation!!!")
(Mordecai is driving Skips' van as the gang rushes back to the dome on mandatory orders.)
Benson: Go, go, go!
(With Muscle Man and Fives following behind them in the cart, they make their way inside the dome and park outside of Pops' house which is already set up for Rigby's grad party.)
Benson: Mr. Maellard, we're here! Dr. Langer?
(They look around the area, but there is no one in sight.)
Benson: There's nobody here! That's it, I'm done! I'm tired of being made a fool. Nothing good has come from this experiment. I'm taking this stupid thing--
(Before he can take off and throw the portable fax machine down in anger, the machine rings, beeps, and prints out a document.)
Rigby: What's it say?
(Benson takes out and reads the printed document. The gang simultaneously ask Benson what the new orders are.)
Hi Five Ghost: What?
Rigby: Tell us!
Mordecai: Yeah, what is it?
Skips: What is it?
Benson (reading): "To end the experiment, push the button."
(On cue, the button's bolts unscrew automatically as the glass container pops open.)
All: (shocked) Woah!
(Outside, where everyone's heading to the dome, while yelling: Party!, repeatedly.)
(The gang assemble at the button as they all wonder what will happen once they push it.)
Rigby: So this is gonna take the dome off the park?
Benson: (sighs) Only one way to find out.
(The gang place their hands to the button, as the close-up camera pans around their determined expressions as they prepare to face the unknown...)
Benson: (resolutely) Let's end this.
(They all push the button. The ground starts to rumble as sirens wail.)
Mordecai: What's happening?!
Skips: Get to the exit!
(The gang starts running to escape the dome as Muscle Man escapes on the cart. The garage door entrance starts closing.)
Muscle Man: Tuck and roll!
(Muscle Man jumps out the cart and rolls towards the entrance while squealing to escape, but is unsuccessful just as the cart hits the wall and explodes. Skips tries to break open the dome walls with a garbage can, but fails. Rigby tries to dig his way out, but that method is unsuccessful, too. The crowd arrives and murmur in confusion as the Park crew bangs at the closed entrance crying for help. Suddenly, the sidewalk cracks and fissures around the perimeter of the dome as rockets launch from the underground and lifts the park dome up towards the sky. The Park crew scream as they've been lifted up into the air.)
Muscle Man: STAAAARLAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Starla: MIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!
Margaret: Mordecai??
Pam: (arrives with a Wing Kingdom bag) Hey, has anyone seen Bens-
(She gasps in shock after seeing Benson in the air.)
Benson: Pam?
(As the dome lifts up to the air. Mr. Maellard sheds a tear for his son as Dr. Langer enters.)
Dr. Langer: Don't worry. He'll be safe.
(Mordecai's parents are shocked of witnessing the park lifted up to the air, followed by CJ, Mr. Ross, Doug Shablowski and Thomas. The park starts off his rockets they fly right to the space as they scream. But suddenly it's stops. They are shocked that they're in space.)
Benson: But, I had a date.
(The door opens, revealing Eileen with a banana souffle.)
Eileen: Surprise, Rigby! I made your favourite dessert. Banana souffle...
(She is shocked that she is in space with the others. The Banana souffle deflates.)
Eileen: Guys, what's going on?
(The park dome disappears into the sun)
(End of Rigby's Graduation Day Special)