New Bro on Campus/Transcript

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(Episode begins with the park workers outside)

Benson: Alright, we got a lot of big jobs, so we're gonna work in pairs today. Pops and Skips, spray the paddle boats down by the docks. Mordecai and Rigby, take out the trash by the Snack Bar. Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost, my A-Team, I need you two to work your magic, and remove those old stumps by the playground.

Muscle Man: Uh, I'd rather work alone today.

(The park workers gasp)

Benson: What?

Muscle Man: You heard me, I want to work alone.

Hi-Five Ghost: Aw, come on, I said I was sorry.

Benson: Okay, what's the problem here?

Muscle Man: He uploaded a highly confidential video of me onto the internet.

Hi-Five Ghost: You labeled the files wrong, I got confused!

Muscle Man: It was your camera, bro! Don't lay this on me!

Hi-Five Ghost: Well, I took the video down before it spread, didn't I?

Rigby: Oh, you mean this video? (He plays a video of Muscle Man holding a South of the Line chile relleno with tongs, wearing an apron that says "Kiss The Chef" in the kitchen on his phone)

Hi-Five Ghost (in the video): It's recording.

Muscle Man (in the video): For those of you who didn't believed me, I'm gonna be the first person to successfully fry a South of the Line chile relleno. Okay, here it goes, bro. (He drops the chile relleno into a fryer, but it explodes, burning off his clothes, then he starts squealing and panicking, he first knock down the dishes from the table, then he runs around screaming, knocking down the fryer, then he rolls on the floor until he stops. The park workers laugh)

Skips: Classic Muscle Man.

Rigby: Yeah, this thing has like fifty million hits too!

Pops: It's funny, because all of his clothes burned off!

(The park workers laugh again. Muscle Man stares angrily at Hi-Five Ghost)

Hi-Five Ghost: Look, Muscle Man, I...

Muscle Man: No, don't even say it, bro! The damage is done! I never want to speak to you again.

Hi-Five Ghost: Well, okay, if that's what you want, then I gotta go. Excuse me! (He flies away)

Benson: Uh, alright. Muscle Man, in that case, you'll be with Mordecai and Rigby. I guess that's it. I'm gonna go and process all of this. (He, Pops and Skips walk away)

Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man, Hi-Five Ghost took that pretty bad. Maybe, you should go talk to him.

Muscle Man: Yeah right! I'm glad he feels bad. I'm never speaking to that traitor again.

Mordecai: Come on, dude, that's crazy.

Rigby: Yeah, you guys have been best friends forever.

Muscle Man: Not so, bro.

Mordecai: What? What are you talking about?

Muscle Man: When I first met Hi-Five Ghost, I couldn't stand him.

(Flashback begins at a high school called South Tree High.)

Muscle Man: You see, back in high school, I was the most popular guy for miles.

Male Student 1: Hey it's Muscle Man!

Male Students: Hey Muscle Man!

Female Student 1: Hey Muscle Man.

(A girl nearly kisses a guy who looks like Muscle Man but notices he isn't Muscle Man)

Female Student 2: Hey! You're not Muscle Man!

(Reggie cleans the gold plaque that says "MUSCLE MAN")

Reggie: Hey Muscle Man! How's it going? Aw what am I saying? You're the most popular guy in school! You're probably doing great!

Muscle Man: You're right Reggie! I am doing great!

(A black car with a plate that says "FIVES" arrives and all the students look at the car. The driver is revealed to be Hi-Five Ghost)

Female Student 3: Your car is really amazing!

Hi-Five Ghost: Oh thanks! It's a stick shift. Well. I'll be seeing ya!

(Students then say bye to Hi-Five Ghost.)

Reggie: Wow! That guy is cool! If you don't watch yourself Muscle Man, you might not be cool anymore! (laughs) It's just a joke Muscle Man. You know how you like Reggie's jokes!

Muscle Man: Yeah. A joke.

(Scene cuts to the classroom)

Teacher: Class, we have a new student joining us today. So, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Hi-Five Ghost: Well, I moved here from Wichita. I like music and uh, my name is Hi-Five Ghost. But my friends call me Fives.

Muscle Man: Well then, guess no one calls you Fives! Get it? Because you have no friends!

Hi-Five Ghost: (Laughs) No. I have tons of friends. But do you want me to be your friend? You seem pretty uncomfortable about not having friends.

(Whole class laughs at Muscle Man)

Muscle Man: Yeah, well, you know who else doesn't have any friends? My mom! Hah!

Hi-Five Ghost: (Laughs) That's really funny, but...that's really sad. You should be considerate to your mother. It would probably hurt her feelings if she heard you talking like that.

Male Student: Oooo! New kid schooled you!

Muscle Man: No he didn't!

Teacher: As a third-rate substitute teacher, I have to say, you got schooled Chimichanga packs.

(Whole class laughs at Muscle Man again and scene cuts to the hallway)

Muscle Man: Who does that guy think he is?!

Reggie: I think he said his name was Hi-Five Ghost.

Muscle Man: Uh, I know that Reggie, it was a reportical question.

(Two girls then laughs while talking)

Muscle Man: Hey Reggie, check this out.

Reggie: Oh yeah! Muscle Man! Go knock 'em dead!

(Muscle Man approaches the ladies)

Muscle Man: Hey ladies. You like buns?

Lacey: Yeah.

Muscle Man: Then check out these butt cheeks! (Muscle Man then shakes his butt cheeks up and down)

Hi-Five Ghost: Excuse me! Can one of you guys show me where Room 2-10 is?

Lacey: Oh, I'll show you.

Lacey's friend: Not if I show him first Lacey!

Hi-Five Ghost: Oh, I'm sure both of you agree with directions. Um, could you both show me?

Lacey's friend: We'll get you to Room 2-10.

Muscle Man: Hey! The show's not over! (Muscle Man removes his shirts then)

Hi-Five Ghost: Oh! That's impressive physique. Well, see you later!

Muscle Man: Wait! I need directions too! Oh, it's on bro!

(Cut to the cafeteria. Muscle Man is eating then Fives appears)

Hi-Five Ghost: Hi! Mind if I seat with you?

Muscle Man: Yes, I do.

Hi-Five Ghost: Oh thanks!

(Hi-Five Ghost then sits beside Muscle Man)

Hi-Five Ghost: Oh, I see you like nachos, so do I! What a coincidence!

Muscle Man: Is that so?

(Muscle Man eats his nachos fast and messy)

Muscle Man: Let's see how much you really like them. Reggie!

Reggie: Nacho Eating Contest!

(A montage of them fighting for the contest and Muscle Man is weakening while Fives is still not giving up and Muscle Man finally passes out.)

Student 1: He's gotta be like the coolest dude around!

Student 2 : Let's get the new guy the best parking spot on campus!

(Students then yell "Fives!" repeatedly and moving Muscle Man away and putting Fives' car on Muscle Man's parking spot.)

Muscle Man: Aw man! That was a really convenient spot! Can you believe this Reggie? (Notices Reggie is gone) Reggie? (Sees Regie on Fives' side with the other students) Reggie get over here!

Reggie: Uhh, I think I'm gonna hang out with Fives now.

Muscle Man: What? Reggie how could you do this to me?

Reggie: I'm sorry bro, in life, things gotta change, like going from not-so-cool to very cool. And hanging out with this guy will make me very cool!

Hi-Five Ghost: Uh, Thanks! I'm glad you think so Reggie!

Reggie: Sure man! You're my best friend! Up high, bro!

Muscle Man: That's it! I challenge you to a drag race, new kid! If I win, I get my parking spot back, which means, I'll be the coolest guy on campus! And you might as well move back to Wichichusetts.

Hi-Five Ghost: Wichita.

Muscle Man: Whichever! Tomorrow, after school, at the park, We go "mano e mano". Be there!

Hi-Five Ghost: Oh-uh, sure! If it's a race you want, then it's a race you'll get, I guess.

Reggie: You hear that everybody?! Drag race tomorrow!

(Scene cuts to The Park)

Muscle Man: Huh? (sees Fives' car on his rear-view mirror)

Hi-Five Ghost: I like what you did to your truck! The spoiler's pretty cool!

Muscle Man: Well I hate to spoil the ending, but I'm gonna win this race and things are gonna go back the way they were, the way they should be.

Hi-Five Ghost: Oh-uh, Hassle the prams huh.

Muscle Man: Sorry, what was that?

Hi-Five Ghost: Oh! I said (car engine) I said! (car engine)

(Starla then appears and says)

Starla: Alright! The first one to make it at the end at Devil's Run, is the coolest guy in school! Go!

(The race then commences and they race each other, there is the Devil's Run but Muscle Man wants a shortcut.)

Muscle Man: Time to take a shortcut.

Hi-Five Ghost: Whuh!

(Muscle Man goes through a maintenance road while Fives went through the Devil's Run)

Muscle Man: Time to jump this gorge!

(Muscle Man turns on his nitro and makes the jump but his steering wheel is dislocated.)

Muscle Man: Time to freak out!

(Fives then sees the finish line)

Hi-Five Ghost: Home free!

(Muscle Man then bumps the car of Fives)

Hi-Five Ghost: Whuho!

(Fives' wheels then pops and both cars are going towards the Eagle's Rock.)

Reggie: They're gonna crash in the Eagle's Rock!

Hi-Five Ghost: We gotta bail! On three, One-

Muscle Man: Whoa whoa! Who said you can count?

Hi-Five Ghost: Three!

(They both then bail and hit each other while their cars explode upon hitting the Eagle's Rock and after the explosion, a hole that is now known as the Crash Pit was created. Muscle Man is barely hanging on the Crash Pit.)

Hi-Five Ghost: Muscle Man! Take my hand!

Muscle Man: Why!? I was a complete jerk to you!

Hi-Five Ghost: That doesn't matter now! Just grab on!

(Muscle Man grabs Fives' hand but the piece of boulder that Muscle Man was holding onto breaks and they both fall into the Crash Pit.)

Muscle Man: I'm too heavy! Just let me go! You're too cool to die because of me bro! You've always been cooler than me!

Hi-Five Ghost: What? No way! I always thought you were the coolest. No one's jokes have made me laugh as hard as yours!

Muscle Man: Really? Well, maybe we could have been best friends!

(Muscle Man tries to let go but Fives' hand doesn't then he goes up barely.)

Hi-Five Ghost: No!

(They then successfully made it back at the surface.)

Muscle Man: You, you saved me!, I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you Mile High Cool!

Hi-Five Ghost: It's Hi-Five Ghost, but you can call me Fives.

(They then shake hands)

Hi-Five Ghost: You still want that parking spot?

Muscle Man: Nah, both our cars are destroyed anyway.

(Mr. Maellard and Pops arrive.)

Mr. Maellard: Hey! What did you ruffians do to my park?!

Student: Scatter!

(All of the students, including Muscle Man and Hi-Five Ghost scattered away)

Mr. Maellard: Get back here! Why you... Hey! Aarrrrggh!! Rotten kids! Pops, promise me you won't let things happen when you are park manager. Pops?

(Mr. Maellard finds that Pops is beside the Crash Pit.)

Pops: (laughs) Look at the penny go, papa! (He drops his penny in the pit)

Mr. Maellard: Ah, I gotta hire somebody else to take care of this place.

Muscle Man: Dude, you wanna come back later to crush stuff into the pit?

Hi-Five Ghost: Okay, I'm cool with that!

Muscle Man: Yes! Woo! Woo woo woo!

(Flashback ends)

Muscle Man: Yeah ever since then Fives and me have been best bros, practically inseparable.

Rigby: So does that mean you're gonna forgive him?

Muscle Man: Forgive him for what? Oh.

(Scene cuts to Fives standing beside of what used to be the Crash Pit and Muscle Man approaches Fives.)

Muscle Man: Remember when this used to be the Crash Pit?

Hi-Five Ghost: Yeah.

Muscle Man: I wish it was still here so I can crash this dumb argument in it.

Hi-Five Ghost: Look, I'm really sorry about the video.

Muscle Man: I shouldn't have overreacted. If anyone should apologize it should be me. Besides, a thousand embarrassing videos could never tear apart our friendship. I'm sorry Hi-Five Cool.

Hi-Five Ghost: Call me Fives.

(Episode Ends)