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This page is the transcript for "More Smarter".

(The episode begins in the kitchen, where Rigby has a lot of stuff on the table)

Rigby: You're probably wondering why I brought you here today.

Mordecai: Not really.

Rigby: Check it. All the richest people in history have drinks named after them. Shirley Temple, Arnold Palmer, John F. Lemonade. What drink's gonna make me rich you ask? I'll tell you what. (fixes up a drink) One can of RadiCola, frozen fruit juice concentrate, a dash of hot sauce... (Mordecai looks disgusted) Sugar Roasted Sugar Bombs for texture, and the rest... (adds some fruits and fish bones, followed by pickles) Mordecai, witness The RigJuice!

Mordecai: Dude, I don't think you should drink that.

Rigby: (drinks his RigJuice, then coughs wildly) Whoa... my face feels like magic. Dude, wanna taste?

Mordecai: Pfft, yeah right. I'm not dumb enough to drink that stuff.

Rigby: Come on, we do dumb stuff all the time! We're like two peas in a pod.

Mordecai: Uhh-huh no.. I'm definitely smarter than you. It's been that way ever since you dropped out of high school.

Rigby: Dude, what? I don't need no high school education. You can't use everything from school in everyday life.

(Benson walks in with some tools.)

Benson: Hey, Mordecai and Rigby. I got a question for you. You know those six box turtles at the park petting zoo? Each of those turtles needs a turtle fence. Assuming each turtle needs nine square feet of space, I need you guys to figure out the minimum number, of nine foot planks to use for construction.

Rigby: (confused) Uh...

Mordecai: Whoa, Whoa, slow down, Benson. Rigby can't answer that question. He doesn't have a high school diploma.

Benson: You don't have a diploma? Thanks for wasting my time. Where's Skips? I'll go ask him.

Muscle Man: Ask Skips what?

Mordecai: Oh, just about some math problem that Rigby doesn't know how to solve.

Rigby: STOP TALKING!!! Just because I couldn't solve some math problem, doesn't make you more smarter than me!

Muscle Man: Check that grammar, bro.

Rigby: Huh?

Muscle Man: "More Smart", not "More Smarter".

Hi Five Ghost: Didn't you learn that in high school?

Rigby: LEARN THIS!! A high school diploma never got nobody nothin' and that's a fact!

(A horn honks as a Burger Bros. truck stop by.)

Worker: Free Burgers! Free Burgers for all high school graduates!

Muscle Man: Whoo! I'm a high school graduate! I got my diploma right here!

Mordecai: Yeah-yuhhh!

Pops: (Laughs)

(Everyone else except Rigby line up for burgers, as Rigby watches from the computer room window in shock.)

Rigby: NOOO! (writes fake diploma, dashes out of the computer room, and runs outside) No, wait! I've got my diploma! (Trucker closes and leaves) Come baack...!

Mordecai: You misspelled "Diploma" dude.

Rigby: Huh? (looks at fake diploma seeing he spelled it like "Diplowma") That's it! I'm going back to high school!

Mordecai: Eh, doesn't sound like a good idea to me. Our friendship wouldn't work if we're both smart.

Rigby: What? What are you talking about? We're both the same amount of smart as each other!

Mordecai: No, you're not. I'm the smart one, and you're my friend. That's our dynamic, dude. I have a high school diploma and you don't.

Rigby: I'm gonna get my diploma, and then we'll see how you like being the dumb one! (We cut to Rigby's old High School, a bell rings. We then zoom out inside the classroom.)

Teacher: (off-screen) Well, class, this is quite possibly the hardest math problem (on-screen) in the world, Whoever can solve it, will be leaving the classroom today with a diploma in their hands.

(Many students whisper Rigby's name, thinking he'll try to solve it.)

Rigby: Did you say diploma?

(Rigby solves the problem)

Teacher: correct! (gives Rigby his diploma) Congratulations, Rigby, you won't need to go near another school for the rest of your life!


(We cut to Rigby, asleep, with drool on his face)

Rigby: oooooooo-

Teacher: RIGBY!

Rigby: Huh? Wha?

(The class laughs, and the teacher is not amused.)

Rigby: Uhhh...Can I get my diploma now?

Teacher: Get out of my class, Rigby. (Back at Pops's house, we see Mordecai playing video games, Rigby starts walking up the stairs)

Mordecai: You fell asleep in class, didn't you?

Rigby: SHUT UP!

Mordecai: You wouldn't fall asleep so much if you had your High School diploma.

Rigby: Grrrr!

(We cut to Rigby typing and clicking)

Rigby: The lousy High School diploma. I can get my diploma the easy way, online.

Computer Voice: Welcome to the Education Mentor. Get your diploma now by taking our online test.

Rigby: Hmm! Hmm! I got this. Bam!

Computer Voice: First question: Which of the following is not a square?

Rigby: Gah... This is too hard. (Rigby throws his chair off screen while screaming in rage, he starts shaking the computer) I WANT MY DIPLOMA! (Ads come up as a result of his rage) Ugh! Ads, go away, now! (He starts closing ads, but he rests on one) Huh? BrainMax? Increase your intelligence? More smarter. (Clock transition to Rigby opening his BrainMax) Welcome to the BrainMax system. Instructions: Take one tablespoon a day. Do not take if pregnant, or one hour after heavy thinking. Will see results in thirty to forty days? What?! I'll just drink a month's worth of doses, I mean it doesn't say not to. (drinks the BrainMax. The bottle says "Use Only As Directed". Rigby groans as his head starts pounding. Plenty of scientific words Go Inside Rigby's brain.) Whoa. (Rigby looks at the Computer) I know this now. Wait a minute. I know everything.

(Scene changes to the living room where Rigby is doing a 'Smart Guy Quarterly crossword puzzle.)

Mordecai: Hey, I know something that can help you with that crossword. It's called a high school diploma.

Rigby: Very amusing, Mordecai. All merriment aside. Perhaps you can assist me with this. What's an eight letter word for idiot?

Mordecai: What? Why are you talking like that?

Rigby: I tried "imbecile", "bonehead", "pea-brain", Oh wait! I got it. "Mordecai".

Mordecai: You're the idiot, you... (counts his fingers to see how many letters the word has before he says it) dumb-face!

Rigby: Hmm. I'm afraid while "dumb-face" fits, it's simply too stupid for this puzzle. Face it Mordecai, I'm the smartest now.

(Rigby drinks the BrainMax)

Mordecai: What is that? That isn't RigJuice. (Mordecai takes the BrainMax out of Rigby's hands) BrainMax?

(Rigby tries to get it back)

Rigby: Get your hands off that! Gimme that!

(Mordecai pushes Rigby away. He laughs and takes a sip and now feels pain in his head, shocking Rigby)

Mordecai: First of all, I wanna contradict your earlier statement. (Mordecai writes a math problem on the living room window) This theory proves you're dumber than me.

Rigby: Ha! (Rigby takes the BrainMax away from Mordecai and takes a sip) As you can see by my encounter theory, it is you, that you are dumber than me.

(Mordecai takes the BrainMax away)

Mordecai: Tsk. Tsk. Wait till you see my 20 page research paper backing up my theory.

(Rigby takes the BrainMax away)

Rigby: Tsk. Tsk. I'm gonna write a 21 page paper backing up my theory. AND prove yours wrong!

Mordecai: Tsk. Tsk. Is that so?

Rigby: Tsk. Tsk. Yeah!

(Mordecai and Rigby are saying "Tsk. Tsk" repeatedly. A montage starts going on when they are trying to prove each other that they're smarter than each other by drinking more BrainMax and putting many more theorys around the house with corrections and writings everywhere and then the montage stops where Mordecai and Rigby are in a room, where more words are going through their head)

Mordecai: In closing, your theories had failed to prove that you're smarter. For your brain is no bigger than a walnut.

(The word 'walnut' hits Rigby.)

Rigby: Very funny Mordecai, but your paper is fundamentally flawed because your brain is made of 99% K9 butt cheeks.

(The words 'butt cheeks' hits Mordecai.)

Mordecai: There is still one fuerable truth. You don't have a High School diploma, so I'm smarter than you. You imbecile.

(The word 'imbecile' than hits Rigby and suddenly takes away the background of the house.)

Rigby: GAHH! I am not an imbecile! (Opens door to the computer) If a diploma will prove that I'm smarter than you, than so be it! (Confused and sees the computer differently) huh? Ahh! I can't read it!

Mordecai: Probably because you're still too stupid. (Comes to the computer) Here. Huh? What kind of writing is this?

(Normal world where Benson, Skips and Pops come in to the room where all their theories were shown.)

Benson: Mordecai. Rigby. You guys- huh? (Sees the theories they did) (angrily) AHH! (off-screen) Mordecai, Rigby, (on-screen) get downstairs right now (turns red) and clean down the mess you made, (off-screen) or i'm gonna fire- (Mordecai And Rigby don't know what Benson is saying due to the BrainMax they drank.)

Rigby: (to Mordecai) Dude, what is he saying?

(Both of them see them differently as what they're saying and how they look.)

Mordecai: Oh no. We've become so smart, they're stupid to us.

(In the normal world, Benson, Skips and Pops hear Mordecai and Rigby in Latin.)

Mordecai: Quārum hī vitiō moriānis?

Rigby: Moriānis?! Moriānis vestris incipi(v)it rem tōtam!

Mordecai: Et herem facĕre debēre īre stultum.

(Back to Mordecai and Rigby's perspective.)

Rigby: If you haven't made fun of me so much, none of this would've happened!

Mordecai: Whatever. You can't even get your diploma, because we're so smart. So, what's the point?

Rigby: You're right. There is no point.

Mordecai: Huh?

Rigby: What's the point of being so smart, if you can't even under- (off-screen) -stand anyone? (on-screen) We have to get stupid again.

Mordecai: How?

Rigby: ...RigJuice.

Mordecai: The fridge! (Mordecai and Rigby float to the fridge.)

(Scene then shows Muscle Man and High-Fives in a different way too while Muscle Man is eating.)

(Rigby opened the fridge.)

Rigby: Ah ha! The RigJuice!

Mordecai: Pour me some.

(Rigby pours the RigJuice to his cup which shows how the material is made out of.)

Rigby: Whoa... It looks... different now.

Mordecai: Ready?

Rigby: Wait. If I drink this, I'll never get my diploma.

Mordecai: Dude, it's just a piece of paper.

Rigby: I know that, but you'll never stop making fun of me for it.

Mordecai: I don't care. I won't make fun of you anymore. I promise. To being stupid?

(Little silence appears)

Rigby: To being stupid. Bottoms up.

(Mordecai and Rigby made the toast and drink the RigJuice.)

(Little silence appears again to see what happens.)

Rigby: ..Did that work?

(Suddenly, Mordecai and Rigby fall.)

(Mordecai and Rigby scream while falling and their intelligence starts to go away when now Benson appears normally now.)

Benson: -And if you don't stop goofing off and clean up this graffiti now, I'm gonna tear you limb from limb!

Mordecai and Rigby: Huh...?

Benson: Do you have anything to say for yourselves?

Rigby: What just happened...?

Mordecai: Uhh...I don't remember anything...

Muscle Man: Me and Fives were practicing for our pie contest, when you dudes came and were speaking Spanish or something. (begins to eat his pie again.)

Hi-Fives: Then you drink that green stuff.

Mordecai: Ugh! I can't believe you got me to drink your lame drink.

Benson: Better get started, or it's coming out of your paycheck.

Muscle Man: Yeah, losers.

(Muscle Man, High-Fives and Benson leave the room.)

Mordecai: You know, maybe if you had a High School diploma, we wouldn't be in this mess.

Rigby: Well, guess what? This drop out somehow got you to drink RigJuice.

(Mordecai gets up.)

Mordecai: (awes)...I'll get the paint.

(Mordecai leaves the room.)

(Rigby gets the jug of the RigJuice, looks back and forth to see if someone's watching then takes a sip of it.)

Rigby: (awes)...That's good RigJuice.