This page is the transcript for "Mordecai and Rigby Down Under".

(We begin with Pops' House. Then we are shown Mordecai and Rigby repackaging some patio furniture. Mordecai puts a chair in a crate, and Rigby throws a chair at a side of a box.)

Rigby: I'm so tired and it's so early! I can't believe Benson is making us repackage all this patio furniture he just bought.

Mordecai: Maybe we shouldn't've stayed up 'til 4:00 A.M. last night.

(Flashback begins to Mordecai and Rigby wearing football attire and playing football in the living room)

Mordecai and Rigby: Touchdown Thursday!

(Rigby throws the ball to the ground and Mordecai waves a bag that saids "Movie Shack Hut" on it)

Mordecai: Hut, hut! Hike! Go long, go long! Brock Stettman with the long bomb! Huh!

(He throws the ball to Rigby and he tries to catch it, but he lands on the table full of snacks on it, and the ball hits his stomach and flys past him as the flashback ends)

Mordecai and Rigby: Hehehehehe. Touchdown Thursday. (sighs)

Mordecai: I wish it was Snoozing Saturday.

Rigby: We can't work under these conditions. We need to take a nap.

Mordecai: But Benson'd fire us if he saw us sleeping on the job.

Rigby: But what if we slept in the job?

Mordecai: Huh?

Rigby: Like.. right here. We can nap in this crate.

Mordecai: But is it safe?

Rigby: Yeah. I saw one of Pops' old movies once. It was called "Crabbot and Ostello Get Trapped in a Crate".

Mordecai: Auuh!

Rigby: But don't worry, though, they totally get out, but not before they meet the wolfman.

Mordecai: So tired! Let's just do it just for half an hour.

(They get inside the crate, closes the lid, giggle, and they start to fall asleep as the scene fades to black. Over the background, the crate can be heard getting tossed into a truck, and into a plane that travels to some location, and gets tossed to the ground, then the scene fades back to Mordecai and Rigby still sleeping in a crate, then Mordecai wakes up)

Mordecai: Wha... Hehehehehe. The perfect crime.

(He opens the lid and drops it on the ground in the middle of a desert)

Rigby: Aaaaugh! It's too bright!

Bogan: Aw, chunder! Another returned shipment?! (He runs inside his house)

Mordecai: Rigby!

Rigby: What?! Mordecai, where are we?

(A kangaroo and its two joeys jump past by them, then the camera zooms out as Australian music plays to find out they are in Australia)

Mordecai and Rigby: (screaming)

(The camera zooms out a bit to two astronauts in a spaceship looking at the continent of Australia)

Astronaut 1: Hey, look, it's Australia.

(Scene cuts to Benson in his office writing on a paper, then his phone rings and he answers it)

Benson: Hello, this is Benson.

Voice: Will you accept a collect call from... (Mordecai and Rigby are panicking through the phone)

Benson: (sighs) Accept.

(The background turns into a half screen with Mordecai and Rigby on the left)

Mordecai: Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, Oh, my gosh! We're in trouble, man. Benson, we're in Australia!

Benson: Haha, very funny, guys. Listen up, missed you at work yesterday. If you don't come in Monday, don't bother coming in at all.

(Benson hangs up as the half screen leaves on the right)

Rigby: What did he say?

Mordecai: If we don't come in to work on Monday, we're fired.

Rigby: Aw, man.

Mordecai: Dude, come on. We got to get to an airport.

(They walk to a pit stop called "Outback Joey's" where a muscular man named Angus is sitting down)

Mordecai: Hey, excuse me, is there an airport around here somewhere?

(Angus speaks gibberish angrily, stabs a big soda can with his knife and drinks the soda)

Rigby: Uh, so you don't know where the airport is?

Outback Joey: (coming out of his shack) Ah, don't mind Angus, he's always mad. So how can I help you boys?

Mordecai: We're just trying to find the nearest airport.

Outback Joey: Airport, right. Nearest one's 300 clicks.

Mordecai: Clicks?

Outback Joey: Kilometers.

Mordecai and Rigby: Oh!

Rigby: We call those miles.

Outback Joey: Ah, yeah, I know Miles. He drives the bus. You could probably hop that to the airport (checks his watch) in about 15 minutes.

Rigby: Great! Just enough time for a soda. (Jumps on a stool) Joey?

Outback Joey: Certainly. Here you go, one can of fizzy. (He gives Rigby a can of soda)

Australian News Reporter: The Prime Minister will be returning to Australia tomorrow after his stomach surgery.

Angus: (bangs his fists on the counter) I'MA PUNCH THE PRIME MINISTER!!!!

Outback Joey: I believe it when I see it.

Angus: I will! (he leaves his seat)

Rigby: Punch the Prime Minister?

(Angus goes into the porta potty)

Rigby: Oh!

Mordecai: We call that going to the bathroom.

(Rigby starts drinking his soda)

14 Minutes Later

(Rigby is still drinking his soda while Mordecai waits anxiously, then he finishes drinking)

Rigby: Now I gotta punch the Prime Minister.

(He goes to the porta potty as the bus arrives)

Mordecai: Aw, yeah! The bus. Rigby! Dude, come on, the bus is here.

Rigby:(from inside the porta potty) I'm not done punching the Prime Minister.

(Miles closes the bus door)

Mordecai:(As he's banging on the door) We gotta go! Rigby! (He runs to the bus)

Rigby: (coming out of the porta potty) Alright, alright. Hey, wait up!

(He runs after Mordecai as the bus leaves and they both run after the bus)

Rigby: Dude, there's no door!

Mordecai: (As he's banging on the window) Hey! Hey, where's the door?!

Miles: Door's on that side.

Rigby: Great!

(The bus speeds up, blowing dust on Mordecai on Rigby and they collapse on the road)

Mordecai: Great. Now what are we gonna do? (He looks at a sign that the airport is 300 kilometers) Dude, the airport is 300 kilometers away.

Rigby: That's only, like, 20 miles. Let's just walk it.

Mordecai: (as he and Rigby get up) Alright, but I'm not giving you a piggy-back ride.

Rigby: I'm not gonna ask for a piggy-back ride.

(They start walking on foot to the airport as they continue their journey in dehydration as time goes by, and now they're walking through the desert as Mordecai is piggy-back riding Rigby. Cut to night time, then we pan down to some rocks with Australian art on them as Mordecai and Rigby are exhausted from walking)

Mordecai: Must keep... going.

Rigby: Can't loose... our...

Mordecai: Jobs.

(They collapse on the dirt as a hallucination montage begins with a koala playing a flute, then to a rock with Mordecai and Rigby in Australian art and they're running away from a dingo, a snake and a spider, then they jump into the water, which is now in soda, then it continues with kangaroos digging with shovels, Mordecai juggling balls and Rigby dancing, then they stop and hop out, then Benson's angry face appears as he screaming and he becomes a didgeridoo as Mordecai and Rigby run inside it while the Australian football team from earlier are running away from an emu, then an aborigine blows the didgeridoo, blowing Mordecai and Rigby to Angus' fist where he raises it to punch the Prime Minister as Mordecai and Rigby fall down and hit the same spot with the rocks and the hallucination montage ends, then the scene fades to morning where they wake up and see the same aborigine come up to them while whirling his bolas)

Mordecai: (gasps) An aborigine!

(The aborigine stops whirling his bolas and grabs his water bottle out of his bag)

Rigby: Water!

(The aborigine pours some on Mordecai and Rigby's mouths as they cough)

Mordecai: Thanks, man. Dude, we gotta get to the airport!

(The aborigine doesn't understand him)

Mordecai: Uh, airport!

(The aborigine still doesn't understand him)

Rigby: Dude, we're not getting through to him. (making signal moves) Need go city! Take us to road!

(The aborigine understands him and nods)

Mordecai and Rigby: Yes!

(The aborigine leads them to find a road)

Rigby: Perfect! We'll follow this guy to a road, hitch a ride to the city, hop on a plane, and, boom, back at work, baby!

Mordecai: I hope so. I just wish we didn't have to stare at this guy's aboriginal butt the whole way.

(The camera shows the aborigine's butt, then it fades to two large bushes where they come out and see a road with a truck and two kangaroo wranglers eating)

Mordecai and Rigby: (gasp) Yes!

(They run down the hill to the wranglers)

Mordecai: Dude, we need to get to the airport!

(He and Rigby start begging at the wranglers)

Weber: Not a word. Can't make heads nor tails of what these blokes are sayin'.

Luke: It's their unintelligible accents what's got me all a gum tree, eh? What's they sayin', Wally?

Weber: Turn that gizmo off.

(Wally stops his cassette player and takes off his headphones)

Wally Tharah: These two chaps got lost in the outback and need a lift back to the airport. I think they may be chucking a sickie.

Weber: Oh, yeah, we know what that's like.

Mordecai: Dude, you can speak English?

Wally Tharah: Majored in it. PHD, Cambridge. (Takes off his nude pants) You probably thought these were real, too. Nude pants. I'm looking for investors in the states. Email me.

(He gives Mordecai his card with his information and walks away)

Rigby: Thanks, dude.

Weber: So, you blokes want a ride to the airport. You got any money?

Mordecai and Rigby: No.

Weber: Got anything to trade?

Mordecai and Rigby: No.

Weber: Well, can you at least sing us a bloomin' song?

Mordecai and Rigby: (sigh)

(The wranglers start playing their didgeridoos as Mordecai and Rigby start to sing their song)

(Song: Australian Rap by Mordecai and Rigby)

Mordecai: Didgeridoo or didgeri-don't, Maybe we'll get home, or maybe we won't

Rigby: Napping in a crate, Work did not concern me

Mordecai and Rigby: Lost in the desert on a spiritual journey

Mordecai: So we give you this rhyme, And hope you'll be our chauffeur

Rigby: 'Cause if you leave us here, We'll probably die of expulsor

Mordecai: Wiga, wiga

Mordecai and Rigby: Die of expulsor! Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Yeah!

Weber: Didn't understand a word.

Luke: But we appreciate it from a sonic level.

Weber: Get in the back.

Mordecai and Rigby: Yes!

Mordecai: What do you guys haul, by the way?

(We cut to Mordecai and Rigby in the back of the truck with kangaroos staring angrily at them, then they punch Mordecai and Rigby and hop on them, beating them up.)

Luke: Hear something?

Weber: Yeah, the radio.

(He turns up the radio as they continue driving. Circle-wipe transition to the airport where they pull up, but the back door opens, letting the kangaroos out and Mordecai and Rigby get out, looking beaten up)

Weber: Oh, no! Don't let the kangaroos out!

Mordecai: Oh, sorry, man!

Rigby: Yeah, we gotta go!

(They run into the airport)

Australian News Reporter: The Prime Minister has just landed, and will be addressing his recent surgery momentarily.

(Angus drives and stops his car)

Angus: Prime Minister. Gonna punch the Prime Minister.

Mordecai: We need two tickets for your next flight to America.

Australian Ticket Counter: Last flight of the day departs and hour, arrives tomorrow at 9:00 AM.

Mordecai: Perfect!

Australian Ticket Counter: And it looks like we still have a few seats available.

Rigby: Great!

Australian Ticket Counter: Right then, two tickets will bring your total to $2,400 US.

Mordecai and Rigby: Aw, what?!

Mordecai: We don't have that kind of cash!

Rigby: What are we gonna do?!

Australian News Reporter: It's the Prime Minister! (The Prime Minister and his guards appear as the news workers come up to him) Mr. Prime Minsiter, Mr. Prime Minister! How was the surgery?

Prime Minister: Absolutely bonzer, thanks for asking. Now, let me address some of my constituents' concerns head-on. Don't worry, your prime minister is still as sharp as the wily platypus, our national marsupial, and is coming back as strong as the mighty boomerang, our national weapon. In fact, if you could say I have a weak spot, it'll be the scar on my stomach. (Shows a scar on his stomach) There, I'm as weak as a naked baby joey. (laughs) Punch me there, and I'd probably die.

(The news crew laugh)

Australian News Reporter: Who'd be mad enough to punch the Prime Minister?

(The kangaroos hop towards the Prime Minister)

Australian Woman: (screams) A roving band of mad kangaroos!

(The news crew run away)

Australian Guard: Protect the Prime Minister!

(The kangaroos start punching the Prime Minister's guards)

Mordecai and Rigby: Woah!

(Angus appears running towards the Prime Minister as well)

Angus: Punch the Prime Minister! Punch the Prime Minister!

Rigby: Hey, that guy sure came a long way to... use... the...

(He thinks as he imagines his and Angus' heads)

Angus' Head: Punch the Prime Minister!

Rigby's Head: I've gotta punch the Prime Minister, too.

Angus' Head: Punch the Prime Minister!

(He stops thinking as he sees Angus running towards the Prime Minister, realizing it doesn't mean going to the bathroom)

Rigby: (gasps) He's gonna punch the Prime Minister!

(They see the Australian football players coming in)

Rigby: Come on!

(They run towards the Australian football players as Rigby grabs the football from them and run back)

Burke: Oi!

(They follow Mordecai and Rigby in hot pursuit)

Australian Football Players: Oi, oi, oi!

(Angus stares angrily at the Prime Minister as the kangaroos continue to punch the Prime Minister's guards and the Australian football players continue to chase Mordecai and Rigby with the football)

Australian Football Players: Oi, oi, oi!

Mordecai: Hut, hut, hike!

(Rigby gives Mordecai the football and he continues running)

Australian Football Players: Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!

(They push Rigby out of the way and continue chasing Mordecai)

Mordecai: Stettman with the long bomb!

(He throws the ball with Stettman's long bomb move)

Angus: Hey! Prime Minister! (He raises his fist to punch the Prime Minister as his scar is still showing)

Prime Minister: Noooooooooo! That'll kill me!

(As Angus is about to punch the Prime Minister, the football hits Angus' helmet, causing him to miss, punches himself in the face as the kangaroos hop away and Angus slides down the stairs. Mordecai, Rigby and the football team gasp)

Australian News Reporter: It's Angus!

Australian News Reporter #2: Still sore you lost the election, mate?

(They laugh)

Burke: These two yanks just saved the Prime Minister!

Mordecai and Rigby: Woooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

(Everyone in the airport cheers as two football players carry Mordecai and Rigby to the stairs next to the Prime Minister)

Prime Minister: Thank you both for saving my life. Now, tell me, to whom does all of Australia owe this unplayable debt of gratitude?

Mordecai: I'm Mordecai.

Rigby: Rigby.

Prime Minister: Rigby, huh? Well, in honor of your heroism, let it be known from this day forth, rugby shall be renamed Rigby!

Everyone: Huzzah!

Mordecai: Actually, I was the one who threw the life-saving football.

Prime Minister: Well, we're not calling it Mordecai-by. That means going to the bathroom.

(Rigby smiles hilariously at this, then we cut to the sky where an airplane flies by and Mordecai and Rigby are inside the plane.)

Mordecai: Dude, the Australian Prime Minister totally hooked us up!

Rigby: See, I told you it was a good idea to take a nap in that crate.

Mordecai and Rigby: Woooooaaaaaahhhh!!!

(They start to sleep during the flight as the scene fades to black, then it fades back to Mordecai and Rigby once again sleeping in the crate, then they wake up.)

Mordecai: Huh?

Rigby: This isn't first class!

Mordecai: Wait, do you have that same dream about Australia?

Rigby: Yeah, the aborigine?

Mordecai: The Prime Minister?

Rigby: Me saving the Prime Minister?

Mordecai: Dude, it was a dream, which means we totally got away with taking a nap in a crate!

Mordecai and Rigby: Woooooaaaaaahhhh!!!

(They pop out of the crate, but the same kangaroo and its two joeys past by them again, then the camera zooms out as Australian music plays again to reveal they're in Australia for real.)

Mordecai and Rigby: (screaming)

(Episode ends)

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.