| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
(The Park Dome is independently flying through space. Mordecai and Rigby have been tasked with doing inventory for the Park's dome-itory's storage room. Rigby is pointing things out as Mordecai checks them off his list)
Rigby: One 3D knitter.
Mordecai: Check.
Rigby: Five boxes of freeze-dried taquitos.
Mordecai: Check.
(Rigby gets distracted as he notices one of the boxes)
Rigby: Oh, sweet! They got carne asada! You want one?
Mordecai: No, dude. If Benson catches us taking a snack break instead of doing inventory, he's gonna flip his lid! Now, come on. What's next?
Rigby: Fine.
(Rigby turns around to see a large pod with a doorway labelled "01", connected via a tube to another identical pod labelled "02")
Rigby: One, uh - uh...what the heck is this thing?
Mordecai: I dunno.
Rigby: Hmm...
(Rigby walks into the pod)
Rigby: Hmph, hmph, hmph!
(As Rigby enters the pod, a blue flash is emitted from the inside, and Rigby disappears)
Mordecai: Rigby!
(Mordecai runs over to the pod)
Mordecai: Are you okay!? Rigby!?
(Mordecai looks into the pod, but Rigby is nowhere to be found)
Mordecai: Oh no, oh no! Oh, Rigby!
(Mordecai looks down as he mourns his friend for a moment, then suddenly hears Rigby's voice)
Rigby: Dude!
(Mordecai screams as he turns to his right to see Rigby walking towards him)
Mordecai: Don't do that! Wait, how'd you get all the way over there?
Rigby: I dunno. I was over here, and there was this flash of light, and then I was over there, in that other pod.
(Rigby points to the second pod)
Mordecai: Dude, do you realize what this is?
Mordecai & Rigby: Teleporter! OOOHHHH!!!
(A montage begins of Mordecai and Rigby messing around with the teleporter. Mordecai enters the first teleporter and exits from the second. The duo turn the first teleporter over to be facing upwards, as Rigby jumps into it from a high box, flying out of the second into a pile of empty boxes)
Mordecai: Yeah-yuh!
(Rigby laughs. Mordecai then throws a football into the second teleporter. The duo laughs, then the football exits the first teleporter and hits Rigby on the back of his head. Next, the duo lay the second teleporter on the ground facing upwards, and create a pully system to raise up the first teleporter, facing downwards, directly above it. Mordecai jumps into the second teleporter to continuously fall from the first as a loop. Next, they stack four soda cans on a box opposite the second teleporter, and fire a laser gun into the first. The laser exits through the second teleporter, blasting the cans. The duo laughs as Mordecai walks towards the teleporter and the montage ends)
Mordecai: Okay, okay. Watch this.
(Rigby runs up behind Mordecai)
Rigby: No, it's my turn!
(Mordecai blocks the entrance to the teleporter)
Mordecai: Dude, this'll just take a sec!
Rigby: No!
(Rigby climbs onto Mordecai's arm, trying to get passed)
Mordecai: Agh, Rigby! Will you chill, man!? Jeez!
(Mordecai shoves Rigby to the ground)
Rigby: No! I wanna go!
(Rigby pounces on Mordecai, pushing them both into the teleporter. They both exit on the other side)
Mordecai: Dude, I don't think we're supposed to go through together!
Rigby: What are you talking about?
Mordecai: I don't know. What if we got messed up or something?
Rigby: Whatever, man. We're fire.
Mordecai: Still, I just don't think it's a good -
(They both walk out of the teleporter, but with a shocking twist: Mordecai's tailfeathers have been replaced with Rigby's tail, and vice versa. Mordecai quickly notices this and gasps)
Rigby: What?
Mordecai: Dude, your butt...
(Rigby turns around to see Mordecai's tailfeathers)
Rigby: Aw, what!? I got your butt?
(Mordecai looks behind himself to see Rigby's tail, and scarred butt)
Mordecai: Oh, great! Now I'm the one-cheek wonder. I don't want your messed up butt!
Rigby: Don't make fun of my butt!
Mordecai: Yeah, whatever. What are we gonna do about this?
Rigby: I dunno, maybe if we go through again, we'll change back?
Mordecai: Good idea.
(Mordecai and Rigby walk over to the other teleporter)
Mordecai: Man, how do you walk around with this thing? It's all lopsided.
Rigby: You're lopsided!
(Mordecai and Rigby stop in their tracks as they hear Benson yelling. He enters through the door and approaches Mordecai and Rigby, hiding their back features against the wall with their hands)
Benson: What is going on in here? Look at this mess! I knew I couldn't trust you guys with inventory!
Mordecai: No, Benson! We're almost done!
Benson: No. You are done.
(Benson notices the duo's hands on their butts)
Benson: And what's this?
Mordecai: What is what? I don't know what you're talking about.
Rigby: Yeah, Benson. It's a free country.
Benson: Whatever. Just go outside and rake the leaves.
Mordecai: Aw, come on!
Rigby: Just give us five minutes!
Benson: No, now!
(Mordecai and Rigby stay in position)
Benson: Move it!
(Mordecai and Rigby slowly leave the storage room, still holding their butts and constantly facing Benson so that he can't see their new anatomy. Moments later, Benson leaves the storage room and locks the door, before walking off)
Benson: (sighs) Of all the idiotic things I gotta deal with today.
(Mordecai and Rigby are hiding around the corner in the corridor)
Rigby: Aw, man! He locked the door!
Mordecai: Dude, we gotta get Benson's keys so we can get back in there.
(Later in the house's living room, Benson is sat on the sofa eating a sandwich while watching TV)
TV Announcer: We all know ghosts are totally real...
(On the TV, a ghost appears behind a man walking his dog, and grabs the man by his foot, dragging him away)
Man: Agh, Carlos! Get help!
(The dog licks itself)
TV Announcer: ...and they're coming for you on Earth! But what about...in space!? We'll find out on tonight's episode of "Ghosts Are Totally Real And They're Coming For You!"
Benson: Pfft, bunch of bologna.
(Benson points to his sandwich and starts talking to it)
Benson: Oh, not you, Sammy...you're beautiful.
(Benson turns up the volume on the TV. Meanwhile, Mordecai and Rigby are outside stealthily looking through the window)
Rigby: Hey, what do you think he's watching?
Mordecai: Dude, we're doing a thing right now! Get your head in the game.
Rigby: Sheesh, sorry! Those ghosts just look totally real and like they're coming for that guy! It looks good! We should ask him to tape it.
Mordecai: Dude... (sighs) Do you see the keys to the dome-itory anywhere?
Rigby: Hmm...
(Rigby scouts the living room out for the keys, and sees them sat next to Benson on the sofa)
Rigby: Oh, yeah! There they are. They're sitting right next to him!
Mordecai: Agh, you gotta be kidding me.
Rigby: We're never getting those keys. Benson probably sleeps with those things!
(As Rigby talks, he raises his hands in the air, whacking Mordecai in the face)
Rigby: (sighs) It's hopeless. I guess we should start getting used to these new butts. Welp, I gotta use it.
Mordecai: Ew, no dude! We're getting those keys and I'm getting my butt back!
(Muscle Man suddenly appears, walking up to the duo)
Muscle Man: Hola, bros! What's going -
(Muscle Man squeals as he notices the duo's swapped back features)
Muscle Man: Why are your -
(Mordecai and Rigby grab Muscle Man to shut him up, and drag him down to their level beneath the window)
Rigby: Shh!
(Muscle Man's squeal gets Benson's attention. He looks out the window)
Benson: Hmm...
(Benson walks back to the sofa)
Mordecai: I think he's gone!
Muscle Man: Bros, what happened to your butts?
Mordecai: We were taking inventory in the dome-itory and we found these teleporters, but we accidentally -
Muscle Man: Oh, say no more. I'm a licensed teleportation technician!
Rigby: What!? No, you're not!
Muscle Man: Yeah, bro! It was part of my Space Tree training! You have to calibrate the machine when you're teleporting more than one sentient life form! Uh, no doy!
Mordecai: Well, it doesn't matter if we can't get those keys.
Muscle Man: Well, you guys better hurry. The genetic mutation is only gonna continue until you completely transform into each other.
Rigby: That's not gonna happen to us, is it?
Mordecai: No, dude. That's the kinda stuff that happens in dumb movies. This is real life. Those kinda things don't happen in real life.
(Muscle Man and Rigby both stare at Mordecai in shock. His arms and torso (except for his chest) have been transformed into Rigby's arms and torso)
Mordecai: What?
(Mordecai looks down to see Rigby's hands on his body. He screams, then Muscle Man screams, then Rigby screams. Rigby then looks down to see Mordecai's arms now on his body. Muscle Man screams again, then Mordecai screams. Muscle Man continues to scream as Rigby screams once more. Muscle Man gives one final scream, and so does Mordecai)
Mordecai: We gotta get those keys.
(Meanwhile in the living room, Benson is invested in the TV show)
TV Announcer: They feed off the fear of the unfortunate space-fairing souls who cross their paths...
Benson: That's -
(The lights suddenly go out, leaving the house in complete darkness)
Benson: What the?
(Sounds of carnage are heard over a black screen, as Benson reacts)
Benson: Hey! Aw, come on, seriously!? Hello? Is someone there? Oof, ow! Hey!
(The lights switch back on. There is broken furniture all over the living room. Benson is hurdled up in a ball by the tipped-over sofa)
Benson: Space ghosts aren't real, space ghosts aren't real!
(Outside, Rigby runs to Mordecai and Muscle Man with the keys)
Rigby: I got the keys, let's roll!
(Sometime later in the dome-itory, Mordecai and Rigby enter the storage room and approach the teleporter)
Mordecai: Okay, let's get this over with already. Muscle Man better be right about this.
(Mordecai calibrates the teleporter for two people. The duo then enter the teleporter and are twisted into each other, then make it out to the other side separated. Mordecai exits the teleporter)
Mordecai: Hey, I think it worked!
(Mordecai still has Rigby's torso (minus the chest) and arms, but has his tailfeathers back. Rigby still has Mordecai's arms, but has his tail back. Mordecai however turns around to see Rigby towering over him. They have swapped heights, with Rigby now being tall, and Mordecai being short)
Mordecai: Uh...no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Dude! Now, it's even worse!
Rigby: I dunno, man. I'm kinda into it! I'm finally as tall as my brother. Eat it, Don, wherever you are!
Mordecai: No, what!? This is terrible! Look at me, dude! I'm a short, tiny freak!
Rigby: Oh, so that's what you think of me!?
Mordecai: Aw, come on! That's not what I meant!
Rigby: Oh, I knew what you meant. You don't like being in my shoes!
Mordecai: I just wanna be me again! It's not fair!
Rigby: (sighs) You're right, it's not fair. We should play punchies for it...
Mordecai: Huh?
(Rigby punches Mordecai to the ground, then walks off)
Rigby: I guess we'll stay like this then.
(Mordecai lays on the ground in the pain)
Mordecai: Rigby! No! Come back, Rigby!
(Meanwhile, Rigby is running through the corridors of the dome-itory, laughing. He jumps up and touches the ceiling. He then finds a basketball on the ground and picks it up, bouncing it, then performing a slam dunk into a conveniently placed basketball hoop. He continues running through the corridor laughing)
Rigby: Yeah!
(Mordecai leaves the storage room, angrily grunting. He starts to run after Rigby but instantly falls over)
Mordecai: Ugh! Stupid stubby legs!
(Meanwhile, Eileen and Hi Five Ghost are producing water through osmosis. Eileen picks up a diaper from a trash can with a shovel)
Eileen: Hey Fives, should I throw these astronaut diapers in with the raw sewage?
Hi Five Ghost: Yeah! Anything that has moisture.
(Eileen throws the diaper into the water dispenser. Moments later, Hi Five Ghost uses the dispenser to pour a glass of water)
Hi Five Ghost: And now, through the magic of reverse osmosis, you'd never know this used to be waste water!
(Eileen and Hi Five Ghost both drink the water. Rigby suddenly runs past them laughing. Eileen spits her water out at Hi Five Ghost)
Eileen: Did you see that!?
Hi Five Ghost: Was there something in the water? I might need to replace the filter.
(Mordecai runs past them, chasing after Rigby on all-fours. He catches up to Rigby and tackles him. Both on the ground, the duo look up to see Benson tapping his foot and holding his head outside a bathroom)
Rigby: Huh?
Benson: Where did I put my keys? Ugh, let's see. I was watching TV...did they fall into the couch?
(Mordecai and Rigby quickly make an escape while Benson isn't looking. Mordecai stays held onto Rigby's neck)
Mordecai: Okay, fun's over, Rigby. Let's go back to the teleporter.
Rigby: No way, man! This is great!
Mordecai: Come on, dude! I don't wanna be stuck in your weak little body!
Rigby: Me neither!
(Rigby starts repeatedly punching Mordecai, who retaliates by pulling back on Rigby's neck to choke him)
Mordecai: Go back!
Rigby: Never!
(Mordecai and Rigby stop fighting as they see Muscle Man approaching them)
Muscle Man: Unbelievable! Ugh, I can't even count how many protocols in the teleporter code of ethics you two are breaking right now! We need to get you guys switched back, stat!
Mordecai: Dude, I know! Try telling Rigby that!
Rigby: No way, man! This is the new me. I'm never losing at punchies again!
Muscle Man: No, bro. This is not natural. You see, when I became a licensed teleporter technician, I took a sacred oath, and right now, you're making a mockery of everything I stand for!
(Muscle Man squeals as he tackles Rigby to the ground and puts him in a chokehold)
Muscle Man: Mordecai, get his legs!
Rigby: No! No!
(Moments later, Rigby is tied up to the teleporter in the storage room. Mordecai is sat next to him while Muscle Man recalibrates the teleporter)
Rigby: Let me go!
Mordecai: Shut it, Rigby! Muscle Man, how's it going?
Muscle Man: Almost got it! Okay, baby. Talk to me. Let's make this right!
(Rigby shakes himself rapidly to try to get free from the ropes he's tied with)
Mordecai: Dude, will you knock it off!?
(Rigby breaks free from the ropes)
Mordecai: Muscle Man!
(Rigby is still partially tangled in the ropes. Mordecai grabs the end of the rope to hold him back)
Muscle Man: Rigby, chill!
(Muscle Man grabs Rigby, who grabs him back)
Mordecai: Shove him into the teleporter!
Muscle Man: Step back!
(Muscle Man pushes Rigby into the teleporter, but as he and Mordecai enter, he grabs Muscle Man and pulls him in too)
Muscle Man: Oh no, bro!
(The trio are teleported to the other teleporter. Mordecai and Muscle Man cough as they exit, with Rigby still inside. Muscle Man's appearance remains unchanged, and Mordecai has reverted back to his regular self)
Mordecai: Aw, yeah-yuh!
Muscle Man: Whoo! It worked!
Mordecai: Hey, Rigby! Stop pouting and get out here!
(Mordecai and Muscle Man both have a look of concern on their faces as they hear Rigby grunt from inside the teleporter. Rigby suddenly squeals like Muscle Man)
Mordecai: What the...?
(Rigby exits the teleporter, now with the combined appearances of himself, Mordecai and Muscle Man. He has Mordecai's legs and arms, Muscle Man's head, torso and muscles, and his own tail, fur, face and ears. He squeals once again as Mordecai gasps)
Muscle Man: Oh no, bro!
(Rigby punches Muscle Man, causing him to go flying across the room into a shelf)
Rigby: Play punchies!?
Mordecai: Dude, no!
Rigby: Huh?
(Rigby notices a basketball on the floor, which he runs to and picks up, bouncing it, then jumping to get another slam dunk in another conveniently placed basketball hoop. After the slam dunk, he grabs onto the hoop and hangs off it laughing, then drops down)
Rigby: OOOHHHH!!!
(Rigby smashes through a garage door back into the corridor. Mordecai turns to Muscle Man, who is holding his head in pain)
Mordecai: Muscle Man, are you okay?
(Muscle Man stands up)
Muscle Man: Yeah.
Mordecai: Dude, what the heck happened to Rigby?
Muscle Man: I didn't calibrate the machine for three people, bro! Him pulling me in there threw everything off. We gotta catch him and switch him back before he gets worse! But we're gonna need some bait.
Mordecai: Hmph, hmph. I think I've got an idea.
(Sometime later, Rigby has run rampage across the park, breaking benches and knocking down trees. He is standing in the top of a tree, talking to himself)
Rigby: It's better this way! We're strong now! No, what!? No! We're perfect...shh!
(Mordecai throws a basketball on a rope at Rigby from a bush. Rigby growls, then grunts. He jumps down from the top of the tree to the ground. He reaches for the ball, but it's pulled away before he can grab it)
Rigby: Huh?
(Rigby pounds on his chest as he roars)
Rigby: Get back here!
(Rigby chases after the ball, knocking down trees and smashing through bushes on his way. He then approaches Eileen, who is sat on a blanket reading a book)
Rigby: Hey Eileen, what do you think of my new ripped bod?
(Eileen screams and runs away)
Rigby: Yeah, she loves it.
(Rigby is hit in the face by the basketball once again. He roars once again as it is pulled away from him. The ball then stops next to a pile of leaves)
Rigby: Huh?
(Rigby picks up the ball and sees a basketball hoop towering over the pile of leaves. He gasps then laughs evilly. He runs and jumps up to the hoop to perform a slam dunk, smashing its glass frame and holding onto the hoop. He then lets go and falls into the pile of leaves, which are covering a pit. Rigby falls down screaming. At the bottom of the pit is a teleporter, which he falls into, teleporting him back to the surface. Exiting the teleporter, Rigby is now back to his regular self. Defeated, he lays in the grass. Muscle Man and Mordecai walk up to him)
Muscle Man: Aw, got you, bro!
Mordecai: What the heck, Rigby? You know how long it took us to make that trap?
Muscle Man: Not cool, dude.
Rigby: I might've gotten a little carried away.
Mordecai: You think?
(Mordecai and Muscle Man walk over to the teleporter)
Mordecai: Come help us put these teleporters back before Benson notices they're gone.
(Rigby stands up)
Rigby: (sighs) Yeah, I'll be right there.
(Rigby walks back over to the basketball and picks it up)
Rigby: (sighs) I can do this!
(Rigby looks up at the basketball hoop and growls. Rigby runs up to the basketball hoop, but trips on a small rock, making him fall over. He groans in pain)
End of "Mordeby and Rigbecai"