Rigby: One 3-D knitter.
Rigby: Five boxes of freeze-dried burritos.
Rigby: Oh, sweet! They've got carne asada! You want one?
Mordecai: No, dude. If Benson catches us taking a snack break instead of doing inventory, he's going to flip his lid. Now, come on. What's next?
Rigby: Fine. One, uh, uh What the heck is this thing?
Mordecai: I don't know.
Rigby: Hmm. Hm-Hm-Hm!
(We then see Rigby walk through the teleporter machine and instantly disappears)
Mordecai: Rigby! Are you okay?! Rigby? Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, Rigby!
Mordecai: Don't do that! Wait, how'd you get all the way over there?
Rigby: I don't know. I was over here, and there was this flash of light, and then I was over there in that other pod.
Mordecai: Dude, do you realize what this is?!
Both: Teleporter! OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Rigby jumps off a crate and landed on the boxes Mordecai throws A football and the football hits Rigby in the head and We see Mordecai falling into and out of teleporters 3 times Rigby shoots a laser gun into the teleporter and it hits 2 soda cans)
Mordecai: Okay. Okay. Oh, watch this!
Rigby: No, it's my turn! Dude, this'll just take a sec!
Mordecai: No! AAGH, Rigby! Will you chill, man?! Geez!
Rigby: No! I want to go!
Mordecai: Dude, I don't think we're supposed to go through together.
Rigby: What are you talking about?
Mordecai: I don't know. What if we got messed up or something?
Rigby: Whatever, man, we're fine.
Mordecai: Still, I just don't think it's a good - AAGH!
Mordecai: Dude, your butt!
Rigby: Aw, what?! I got your butt!
Mordecai: Oh, great! Now I'm the one-cheek wonder. I don't want your messed up butt.
Rigby: Don't make fun of my butt.
Mordecai: Yeah, whatever. What are we going to do about this?!
Rigby: I don't know. Maybe if we go through again, we'll change back?
Mordecai: Good idea. Man, how do you walk around with this thing? It's all lopsided.
Rigby: You're lopsided!
Benson: What's going on in here!? Look at this mess! I knew I couldn't trust you guys with the inventory!
Mordecai: No, Benson! We're almost finished!
Benson: No. You are done. And what is this?
Mordecai: What is what? I don't know what you're talking about.
Rigby: Yeah, Benson, it's a free country.
Benson: Whatever, just go outside and rake the leaves.
Mordecai: Aw, come on.
Rigby: Just give us 5 minutes.
Benson: No, now. MOVE IT!
(M&R slowly get out of the storage room and Benson locks the door)
Benson: Of all the idiotic things I've got to do today!
Rigby: Aw man He locked the door!
Mordecai: Dude we gotta get Benson's keys so we can get back in there!
(Scene cuts to the living room where Benson is sitting on the couch holding a sub sandwich and watching TV)
Narrator: We all know Ghosts are totally real!
(A man is taking a dog out for a walk when suddenly a ghost appears and grabs a mans leg and drags him)
Man: AHH!!! CARLOS, GET HELP!!!!
Narrator: And they're coming for you on earth! But what about in space? We'll find out on tonight's episode of "Ghosts are Totally Real and they're coming for you"!
Benson: (scoffs) Bunch of bologna! Oh, not you, Sammy. You're beautiful!
(Benson turns the TV volume up whilst M&R peek)
Rigby: Hey, what do you think he's watching?
Mordecai: Dude, we're doing a thing right now get your head in a game!
Rigby: Geez! Sorry, those ghosts look totally real and like they're coming for that guy. It looks good we should ask to tape it!
Mordecai: Dude, (groans) you see the keys to the dormitory anywhere?
(Benson takes a bite of his sandwich We pan down to the keys where it's sitting by him)
Rigby: Oh yeah! There they are! They're sitting right next to him!
Mordecai: (groans) You gotta be kidding me!
Rigby: We're never getting those keys until Benson properly sleeps with those things! (Rigby puts his hands up hitting Mordecai) (Rigby sighs) It's hopeless! I think we should be getting used to these new butts. Well, I gotta use it!
Mordecai: Eww!! No dude! Were GETTING those keys and I'm GETTING my butt back!
Muscle Man: (Walks up to the duo) Hola, bros what going-- (Squeals) WHY ARE YOUR--
(The duo pull Muscle Man down to prevent Benson from seeing him)
Mordecai: I think he's gone!
Muscle Man: Bros what happened to your butts?
Mordecai: We were taking inventory in the dormitory and then we found these teleporters but we accidentally -
Muscle Man: Ohhh!!! say no more! I'm a licensed teleportation technician.
Rigby: What? No, you're not!
Muscle Man: Yeah, bro! It was part of my space tree training. You have to calibrate the machine with a teleporting more than one sentence life form. No doy.
Mordecai: Well, it doesn't matter if we can't get those keys.
Muscle Man: well you guys better hurry the antemedian is only gonna continue until you completely transform into each other.
Rigby: That's not going to happen to us is it?
Mordecai: No, dude. That's the kind of stuff that happens in dumb movies. This is real life. Those kinds of things don't happen in real life (MM and R are shocked) What?
(Mordecai sees his hands are swapped with Rigby's and the trio start screaming)
Mordecai: We gotta get those keys!
(Cut back to the living room)
Narrator: They fear of the fear of the unfortunate space faring souls across their paths.
Benson: What the? (The lights go off and we hear breaking and crashing and punching) Hey! Oh come on, seriously? Hello? Someone there? Hey! (The lights go back on and we see the living room is trashed and Benson is rocking on the floor scared.) Space ghosts aren't real! Space ghosts aren't real!
(We cute back to the park with Mordecai and Muscle Man)
Rigby: I got the keys. Let's roll!
(The scene cuts back to the dormitory)
Mordecai: Ok, let's get this over with already! Muscle man better be right about this!
(Mordecai adjusts the teleporter settings and M&R get in the teleporters)
Mordecai: Hey i think it worked (Mordecai looks at Rigby which he's tall now) no no no no no no no no DUDE NOW IT'S EVEN WORSE!!!!!!
Rigby: I don't know man. I kinda into it. I'm finally as tall as my brother! Eat it Don wherever you are!
Mordecai: No. what? this is terrible. look at me dude! I'm a short tiny freak. (In the UK, the line is changed to "No. what? this is terrible. look at me dude! I'm a short tiny weirdo.")
Rigby: Oh, so that's what you think of me?
Mordecai: Oh come on. That's not what I meant.
Rigby: Oh, I knew what you meant you don't like being in my shoes.
Mordecai: I just wanna be me again. it's not fair.
Rigby: (Sighs) You're right its not fair we should play punchies for it!
(Rigby punches Mordecai)
Rigby: I just think we should stay like this then.
Mordecai: (groans) Rigby. no! come back! Rigby.
Rigby: (laughing and touches the ceiling still laughing he picks up a basketball and dribbles it and dunk it) yeah
(cut back to Mordecai he trips)
Mordecai: Stupid stubby legs.
Eileen: Hey fives should I throw the astronaut diapers in with the raw sewage?
HFG: Yeah, anything that has moisture.
(Eileen does so)
HFG: Now the magical of reverse princess you never know this used to be waste water.
(Eileen and HFG takes a sip until she saws Rigby which made her spit the water at HFG)
Eileen: Did you see that?
HFG: Was there something in the water? I'm gonna need to replace the filter.
(Mordecai chases after Rigby he hops on him and we pan back to Benson)
Benson: Where did I put my keys? (sighs) Let's see... I was watching TV. Did they fall into the couch?
Mordecai: Ok, fun's over, Rigby let's go back to the teleporter!
Rigby: No way, man! This is great!
Mordecai: Come on, dude. I don't wanna be stuck in your weak little body!
Rigby: Me neither. (Rigby punches Mordecai 3 times and Mordecai chokes him)
Mordecai: Go back!
Muscle Man: Unbelievable! I can't even count how many brutal calls in the teleporter tenascins you two are breaking right now! We need to get you two switched back stat!
Mordecai: Dude, I know! Try telling Rigby that!
Rigby: No way, man! this is the new me! I'm never losing at punchies again.
Muscle Man: No bro. This is not natural, you see? When I became a licensed teleportation technician, I took sacred post. Right now, you made a mockery of everything I stand for.
(Muscle Man run towards them)
Muscle Man: Mordecai take his hand!
Rigby: No, no! Let me go!
Mordecai: Shut it, Rigby! Muscle Man, how's it going?
Muscle Man: Almost got it. Okay, baby, talk to me. Let's make this right.
(Muscle man adjust the teleporters settings and Rigby freaks out)
Mordecai: Dude, will you knock it off!?
(Rigby breaks the rope)