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This page is the transcript for "Merry Christmas Mordecai".

(Episode starts in The Coffee Shop on a snowy day. Mordecai and Rigby are singing a Christmas rap, beat-boxing)

Mordecai: Wrap up the presents throw em under the tree, drink up the egg nog have one, two, or three

Rigby: Christmas time is near spreadin holiday cheer, yo Eileen get that fruitcake outta here! (to Eileen holding a fruitcake)

Eileen: Whaaaaaat? Fruitcake is the best part of the holidays.

Mordecai and Rigby: (still rapping) Fruitcake, fruitcake we don't wanna partake of your own fruitcake.

Rigby: When a fruitcake comes out knocking, you just stuff that in your stockin....

Mordecai and Rigby: ....and BOOM! No fruitcake! (they both laugh)

Eileen: Well, more for me. (as she takes a piece of fruitcake and puts it into her mouth) By the way, I got three things I want to tell you. First and for most is that my awesome Christmas sweater party is tonight, so be sure to dress for the occasion. (she lights up some Christmas lights on her sweater)

Rigby: Feastiiiiiivvvvveeeee

Mordecai: Awwww yay-yuh! Count me and CJ in on the party, it's our first Christmas together and it's gonna be awesome. (he makes a small tosting motion with his mug and sips some coffee)

Eileen: (looking worried) The second thing I wanted to tell that Margaret is gonna be there.

(Mordecai spits coffee from his mouth and flashbacks about his time with Margaret)

Mordecai: M-M-M- Margaret? Margaret's gonna be there?! Oh no!! I should've known she'd be home for the holidays! If she's at the party and CJ's at the party and I'm at the party, it's gonna be.....

Rigby: ......a party?

Mordecai : Aaauuuggghhh! This is terrible! If I see Margaret and act all weird around her, CJ's gonna think I still like her!

Rigby: Dude you're making it a too big a deal out of it. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Mordecai: M-Maybe if I just avoid her nothing bad will happen.

Eileen: Or you could just talk to her now.

Mordecai: Wait, What?!

Eileen: Yeah, she's on her way over here right now.

Mordecai: Aaaahhh!!! I-I-I...uh I need some air I gotta go! (while hypervinalating)

Eileen: Wait! I still gotta tell you the third thing!

(Scene cuts to the house, Mucleman, High-Five Ghost, Mordecai and Rigby are decorating the roof of house while discussing about the party)

Muscle Man: Man, tonights party is gonna be off the chain. My first Christmas as an engaged man with my fiancee

High-Five Ghost: Yeah, Celia made gluten free Christmas cookies. They taste just as good though.

Rigby: Yeah! There's gonna be a fancy soda table. It's gonna be fuuuuuunnn.

(Mordecai stares in fright as he imagines a scenario what might happen if the girls met)

CJ: This is the best party ever! I'm so glad I get to spend Christmas with you, Mordecai.

(Margaret is standing behind Mordecai)

Margaret: Mordecai?

(Mordecai turns his head towards her and screams in horror)

CJ: (looking mad) Who's this, Mordecai?

Mordecai: Ummm, CJ, this is Margaret, my girlfriend. (Mordecai sinks into the floor, creating a hole) I mean my ex-girlfriend. (He sinks deeper) I mean a girl I kissed a bunch of times in the past who is my friend (He sinks even deeper) Should I stop talking now?

(Mordecai screams as egg nog pours out of Margaret's and CJ's cups)

CJ: I never want to speak to you again, Mordecai!

Margaret: Yeah, way to make things weird!

Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooooo!

(He wakes up)

Mordecai: NO!

Muscle Man: No, don't move it to the left? (holding a fake Santa) Well, it might fall, but okay.

(The Santa fell causing the Christmas lights tangling Muscleman and High Five Ghost and knocking Mordecai and Rigby off the roof and onto the ground. The four park workers groan in pain. Just then, Benson comes out of the house)

Muscle Man: I should've moved it to the left.

Benson: Hey, be careful. That Santa wasn't cheap. Mordecai and Rigby, I need you guys to take this package to the post office.

Rigby: I gotta wrap Eileen's gift.

Benson: Mordecai?

Mordecai: I can't go! What if I run into Margaret?!

Rigby: What?! She's not gonna be lurking around every corner of the city.

Benson: I agree with Rigby. Oh also, JUST DO YOUR JOB!

(Scene changes to Mordecai calming down while walking to the post office)

Mordecai: Get a hold of yourself Mordecai. She's just a person. Your just a person. Two people, no big deal.

(The door of the post office opens and Margaret appears)

Margaret: Mordecai?

(Mordecai immediately closes the door in surprise while sweating. He opens the door, still looking shocked)

Margaret: Umm hi.

Mordecai: (sounding nervous) Hey, what a coincidence! I knew you'd be coming back into my life, I mean back into town, welcome back!

Margaret: Thanks. (She attempts to hug Mordecai but he quickly shakes her hand instead.) Oh um... Well, I guess we've never been good at that, huh? Wow, I have so much to tell you. Oh did Eileen tell you about-

Mordecai: Uh, mostly. Whoops, I got a phone call. It's from Benson. A call from "The man." I got to take it, haha! Benson? I've got to go the post office across town? Well, I've got to run Margaret! Literally! I, uh really got into running after you left. It's a health thing. Bye!

(Mordecai leaves the post office and the scene cuts to his and Rigby's room. Rigby is having a hard time wrapping Eileen's gift and tape sticks all over his body, making a mess) Rigby: UUUUGGGHH, Christmas is so hard!

(Mordecai enters quickly and pants while slaming the door)

Rigby: Oh good! You're just in time to help me with this, grab some tape.

Mordecai: Dude, I just saw Margaret at the post office.

Rigby: Lemme guess, you pulled a Mordecai?

Mordecai: Yeaahhh, I faked a call from Benson and then I ran away from her.

Rigby: Classic Mordecai.

Mordecai: Auugghh! There's no way I can go to this party.

(Mordecai's phone rings)

Mordecai: Hello?

CJ: Hey Mordecai. Are you excited for the party tonight? I know I am. (While making a gingerbread house)

Mordecai: (nervously) What?

CJ: Eileen's party. She told you about it right?

Mordecai: (nervously and sweating) Oh, yeah, haha! A totally normal party where nothing bad will ever happen.

CJ: Uuhhh yeah. You gonna pick me up, or should we just meet there?

Mordecai: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............

(Rigby takes Mordecai's phone)

Rigby: (imitating Mordecai) We'll meet there dude ha ha. Okay bye.

Mordecai: Aww dude, why'd you do that?!

(Rigby slaps him sticking some tape and a card that says: "To Eileen" on his face)

Rigby: Because you're acting like a dumb baby! I'm gonna lay the hard truth on you Mordecai, you're wimpin' up the holidays! You're dating CJ now and if you really care about her you'll go to the party with her. So Margaret will be there. Big deal! She'll be gone after that and you'll probably never see her again.

Mordecai: Yeah but- (Rigby slaps him again, sticking more tape on his face)

Rigby: Dude, just go to the party.

(Scene cuts to Eileen's house during the Christmas party. Inside there are tons of guests enjoying the party. Scene then shows Muscle Man and Starla talking to HFG and Celia)

Muscle Man: Yeah, not to brag or nothing, but Starla and I are planning the best wedding of all time.

(Scene cuts to the front door, the doorbell rings, Mordecai and Rigby appear)

Mordecai and Rigby: Merry Christmaaaaaaass!

Eileen: You made it! Gimme your coats, I'll put them in the spare room. (They hand her their coats) By the way Mordecai, I never got to tell you the third thing from this morning.

Rigby: Hold that thought Eileen, and open this gift wrapped by yours truly! (shoves present towards Eileen)

Eileen: Oh! (opens the present) *gasp* You didn't!

Rigby: I did.

Eileen: This mistletoe disco ball is just what I needed! Thanks Rigby!

(Mordecai hangs the disco ball on the ceiling and turns it on. It gives off a soft green glow)

Rigby and Eileen: Woooooooaaaahh

CJ: (As Mordecai comes down the ladder, CJ catches him off guard) BOO!

Mordecai: WAUH!

CJ: Hahahaha! Geez, someone's on edge tonight. Did Santa give you jitters for Christmas?

Mordecai: (nervously laughs) haha, ha, no, no he didn't.

CJ: Are you sure nothing's wrong?

(At that moment, Margaret walks through the front door.)

Mordecai: Uuuhhh...

CJ: Huh?

Mordecai: (Out of panic, he takes CJ's arm and kisses her.)

CJ: Woah, your face is really sweaty.

Mordecai: (continues to be nervous) Is it? Hehehe, I must be really thirsty. Uuuuuhh, let's go to the fancy soda table. It's on me, haha! (They begin to walk away)

CJ: .....But it's free...

Mordecai: (in a rushed tone) Come on, let's go. (they look at the different sodas) Yeti Ginger Ale....Mountain Man Ginger Ale......Imitation Ginger Ale?

CJ: Who knew there were so many flavors of Ginger Ale!

Mordecai: Heh, yeah, who knew.

Margaret: (from behind) Hey Mordecai!

Mordecai: (tenses up) Uuuuuuuhhhh...(turns around and faces Margaret) Hey!

(CJ looks confused while this goes down)

Margaret: I'm glad you're here. I wanted to talk to you earlier at the Post Office, but it seemed like you were in a rush.

Mordecai: Uuuhh, (crosses arms and nods) yup.

(Couple of moments of silence pass by)

Margaret: (acknowledges CJ) Hi! I'm Margaret, by the way. It's nice to meet you.

(Mordecai looks at the two, stunned that things are not crazy)

CJ: Uh, CJ, Mordecai's girlfriend.

Margaret: (Margaret seems stunned and a bit upset by this) Girlfriend?....

Mordecai: (becomes nervous again by this) You two know each other. I mean, you've meet before, at The Coffee Shop, when the how awkward it is now)

Margaret: Oh...

CJ: Yeeaaahh....that...

(A moment of awkwardness passes for the three of them)

Margaret: (awkwardly) was nice meeting you...officially...I'm gonna go there for a bit (points to the left)...excuse me (leaves)

CJ: So that's why you've been acting so weird.

Mordecai: WHAT! I'm not weird!

(CJ looks at him seriously. Mordecai looks back for a bit, then speaks)

Mordecai: (fastly) Okyes. (normal voice) I haven't seen her since we broke up, and I don't know what to do. I was worried that me acting weird would give you the wrong impression, like I still like her or something.

CJ: (kind of upset) you?

Mordecai: No! I don't feel that way about her anymore. I'm with you, that's all I care about.

CJ: (kisses Mordecai) That's all I needed to know. (They smile at each other) Now come on! (takes Mordecai's hands) This is a party, let's go have some fun!

(A montage ensues, with different scenes of Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen partying. The four of them dance under the disco ball. A small conga line with Starla, Muscle Man, and three others forms, and Celia and HFG are dancing together. Mordecai and CJ have some eggnog. Rigby plays with two gingerbread men while the other three watch. He eats one of the heads and the other three laugh. Montage then ends. The four of them are by the eggnog table.)

Mordecai: (pours eggnog into a glass) Care for another glass?

CJ: Actually, I've gotta use the restroom. (A long line to the restroom is shown)

Mordecai: Better take a number, that's a long line.

CJ: (shrugs) I'll take my chances. Be back soon! (leaves)

(A gleam from the disco ball reflects off of Mordecai's glass and into his eye. He looks up at it. Scene then shows Muscle Man and Starla on a love seat.)

Muscle Man: Merry Musclemas, my sweet.

Starla: How about a bit of that holiday sugar?

Muscle Man: HOHOHO to that! (he pulls down his santa hat and covers both of them up and they start to make out)

(scene cuts to Celia and High Five Ghost at a doorway)

HFG: (blushing) Oh, uh, is that a new lipgloss, or.....WAH! (Celia pulls him in and kisses him)

Mordecai: Pfft, dude, check out Fives. Hehe. (Rigby doesn't hear him because he is talking and laughing with Eileen) Dude?

Rigby: Huh? Oh, yeah sure.

Mordecai: (smiles) Hey Eileen, is that mistletoe in your hair?

Eileen: As a matter of fact, it is, good eye.

Mordecai: Haha, Rigby, it's mistletoe.

Rigby: Yeah, so?

Mordecai: You know that people have to kiss under mistletoe, right?

Rigby: Yeah, but it's not like a rule rule.

Mordecai: (makes chicken noises and flaps his wings) BukbukbuKA!

Rigby: Ugh, fine. (kisses Eileen on the cheek, Eileen blushes) Hmm, hmm!

Mordecai: Alright, alright, you're good. On that note though, I should find my lady. (looks around) Where's mah lady at? Can't kiss under the mistletoe disco ball without my lady. (leaves them to look for CJ. Goes into the hall) CJ? (walks out, at the same time runs into Margaret, he begins to sweat)

Margaret: Hey Mordecai.

Mordecai: (Mordecai looks up at the mistletoe disco ball, then at Margaret) AH! (he backs away into a lady, she spills her drink onto a guy, the guy loses balance and sends the eggong ladle flying, it hits the disco ball, the disco ball falls down, hits Muscle Man's stomach, then finally lands into the bowl of eggnog. The disco ball begins to glow red, Mordecai and Margaret are blinded by the light)

Mordecai and Margaret: AAAAAAHH!!

Mordecai: (scene then shows Mordecai and a red background) ah....huh? (he then notices a ton of Margaret's reflections surrounding him. All of them speak at once)

Margaret: Mordecai, are you ok?

Mordecai: Uh...yeah, I'm fine. Why you ask?

Margaret: You're acting weird. Why don't you just talk to me?

Mordecai: Uh, I can't right now. Uh...I gotta go. (he tries to walk away from them, but they are still around him)

Margaret: Please Mordecai, I don't want things to be like this.

Mordecai: It's just....things are complicated between us now, ok? (he walks towards the disco ball in the bowl)

Margaret: Not if you just talk to me. Come on, don't shut me out.

Mordecai: (tries to turn the disco ball off) (to himself) Gotta make it stop. Where are the batteries to this thing!

Margaret: Look, Mordecai, I know things didn't end the way we wanted them to, but at least we had some good times together, didn't we?

Mordecai: (slowly looks up)

Margaret: Doesn't that mean anything to you?

Mordecai: (thinks for a bit, then closes his eyes) (seriously) Yeah, it does mean something to me. But things are different now. (Faces the reflections) A lot has happened since we broke up. It was really rough for me at first, but since I've been dating CJ I feel a lot happier now. She's good for me. I just...hope you can understand that.

Margaret: I do understand. I didn't think you were gonna wait for me. (sincerely) I'm really glad for you Mordecai. You deserve to be happy. (They smile at each other. Margaret then takes the batteries out, and Eileen's house is shown again Mordecai drops the disco ball)

Mordecai: I'm sorry for acting weird.

Margaret: Weeell, it wouldn't be the first time.

Mordecai: Haha, and it won't be the last!

Mordecai and Margaret: Hahaha! (They hug each other)

Margaret: Mmmm (they break the hug, but are still holding each other) We had some good times together.

Mordecai: Yeah......we did.

Margaret: Merry Christmas.

Mordecai: Merry Christmas.

(A montage of Mordecai and Margaret's best moments ensues. They are shown riding bikes, having pizza and laughing, visiting an aquarium, dancing with a gold guy, and taking multiple pictures in a photo booth. These are from "Steak Me Amadeus". The kiss from "Meteor Moves" is then shown. The montage ends, and Mordecai and Margaret are shown kissing each other. After a couple seconds, they pull away.)

Mordecai: (hold hands up halfway in defense) No! I-I didn't mean to do it! I just-

Margaret: Oh my gosh! I knew it wasn't..I mean-

CJ: .............Mordecai? (Mordecai looks at CJ, devastated. Margaret looks down and covers the sides of her face in shame. CJ looks at them, heartbroken. She turns grey and storms out)

Margaret: No! It's not- (covers all her face)

Mordecai: CJ! WAIT! (he runs after CJ, leaving Margaret there. Everyone else looks at the mess. Muscle Man looks out of the Santa hat)

Muscle Man: Awkward. (He then goes back to making out with Starla)

(Mordecai runs out the front door, and looks around for CJ. She is shown driving off in her black car, leaving Mordecai there. Mordecai facepalms)

Mordecai: UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!......CALL HER! I GOTTA CALL HER! (starts to look for his phone) Ugh, where's my phone?!

Rigby: (near front door) You ok man?

Mordecai: (Mordecai runs inside) NOT NOW! I GOTTA GET MY PHONE! (he goes into Eileen's spare room. He grabs his coat off of a box that says "Margaret's Winter Clothes") Huh?...."Margaret's"? (He looks around the room and see's a bunch of boxes belonging to Margaret. There is a picture of Margaret and her dad in a box named "Margaret's Bedroom Stuff") (slowly) What's Margaret's stuff doing in here?

Eileen: (appears at the doorway) (slowly) Yeeeeeeaaahh, that's the third thing I wanted to tell you. Margaret's my new roommate, she's finishing her degree by working at the news station, and she'll be staying here. (Mordecai is shown to have a shocked expression on his face. A couple of awkward moments of silence pass by) (awkwardly) I gotta go check out the soda table. (leaves Mordecai alone)

(Margaret is seen at the end of the hall. She stares at Mordecai and he stares back. No words are exchanged)

(End of "Merry Christmas Mordecai")