Regular Show Wiki
Regular Show Wiki
This page is the transcript for "Maellard's Package".

[Episode starts with Mordecai dressed as a pilot, steering an aeroplane]

Mordecai: Hey folks, I wanna tell you that we’re 20 minutes off from our destination, and it looks like smooth sailing. So just sit back and relax. You're in good hands.

Man: Sir Mordecai, I just need your approval on these new logo designs.

Mordecai: Uh-huh. I approve

Man: Thank you sir. Great work, sir.

Stewardess on intercom: On behalf of our crew and our pilot, we just like to thank our CEO Mordecai International Airlines, Mordecai, for making the skies that much safer and being so responsible and dedicated to his job. Let's give three cheers to Mordecai!

Passengers: Mordecai! Mordecai! Mordecai!

[Mordecai looks smug but in reality it turns out to be a daydream]

Benson: Mordecai! Mordecai! Hello?!

Mordecai: Huh? Wha-?

Benson: Can you tell me what I just assigned you to do?

Mordecai: Uhhh...

Benson: The gutters! Clean them! Pay attention next time. Anyway, that about wraps it up. (Phone rings) Hello? Yes Mr. Maellard, uh-huh, important package. Today? Be there from 10 to 12. Yes, a big responsibility, we'll get it done, sir. OK, change of plans. We're gonna need someone to assign Maellard's package at the mansion. They'll have to be there from 10 to 12. Any takers?

Mordecai: Important?

Rigby: Mansion? Oh! Oh!

Mordecai: We'll take it.

Benson: Any takers? Muscle Man? Hi Fives?

Hi Five Ghost: Sorry, but we got a brunch date with Starla and my infrequently-seen girlfriend, Celia. Her globetrotting lifestyle makes her difficult to get a hold of.

Mordecai: We'll go!

Rigby: Right here!

Benson: Uh, Skips?

Skips: No can do. Got an appointment at the DMV. But I still have to wait in line. What's that about?

Mordecai: Helloooo...

Rigby: We don't have to go to the DMV!

Benson: I guess I'll have to do it.

Pops: Oh you can't. We have a schedule appointment to pick up my grandfather clock from the repair store.

Mordecai: Hey Benson, we'll do it!

Rigby: We'll do it Benson!

Benson: Ugh, fine. You're all a disappointment.

Muscle Man: Sorry, we didn't do anything.

Skips: But I gotta be in line at the DMV.

Benson: Mordecai and Rigby can pick up the package, here's the key for the door. And here's the security code for the front gate. But you better be serious about this job. It's a big responsibility, you have to stay focused.

Mordecai: (To Rigby) What did he just say?

Rigby: (Rapping) He said to stay F-O-C-U-S-E-D! focused make you better believe!

Mordecai: (Rapping) Our brains are working overtime to get what we need!

Rigby: We got psychic powers with telekinesis! You know we will beat this!

Mordecai: When the robot revolution comes you know we would...

Benson: You can't even stay focused for your own song! Just pick up the package!

(Scene cuts to the cart driving to the gate of the mansion)

Rigby: (Reading code) 5, 0, 0, 2

(Mordecai types in code. The steel gate's iron bars go into the ground and the gate opens)

Mordecai & Rigby: Woahhhh...

(They drive through the front lawn through trees planted to form a $ sign. Inside the mansion there's a horse)

Mordecai: I almost forget how huge this place is.

(They see a chocolate fountain with fruit on the table)

Mordecai & Rigby: Woahhhh...

(They see a hologram of a juggler)

Mordecai & Rigby: Woahhhh...

(They see a door knob collection hanging on the wall)

Mordecai & Rigby: Eh...

(They see a tiger in a cage roaring at them)

Mordecai & Rigby: Woah!

Mordecai: This place is insane.

Rigby: Look at this futuristic piano! (Kicks piano, it starts playing)

Mordecai: Hey Rigby, (Dancing with suit of armour) Check out my medieval moves, sir Rigby.

Rigby: (Dressing as pilot) I think you mean "Captain Rigby". It's gonna have to wait, I'm gonna sail this mini yacht. (Floating on mini yacht) You ready Captain Mordecai?

Mordecai: "Captain Mordecai"? (Shakes head) We should wait outside so we don't miss the package. We're being responsible.

Rigby: Ugh, fine.

(They sit outside on the porch)

Mordecai: Yup, don't wanna mess this up.

Both: Don't wanna mess this up...(Lying down)

Rigby: Something smells amazing.

Mordecai: Yeah, I think it's coming from the gate.

(They walk to the gate. Outside is a food truck)

Announcer on megaphone: It's the Buddy Bohn-mi truck business!

Mordecai & Rigby: What's Buddy Bohn-mi?

Announcer on megaphone: It's a really delicious Vietnamese sandwich. Come on down!

Mordecai: (To Rigby) Aw man, that sounds good, but the delivery truck's gonna be here any minute.

Rigby: Dude, there's nobody in line. We'll make it in and out two minutes tops. I mean it is right across the street, trust me.

Mordecai: Hm (Looks at street) Ok let's go.

(They cross the street to the food truck)

Mordecai: Two Bohn meats please.

Man: Ah, customers, finally. Comin' right up.

Cook (Behind him stands another guy whose arms reach in front of the cook smearing the bun): Ah, I think you're really gonna like this sandwich. Betcha haven't seen a sandwich made like this huh? The Buddy Bohn-mi system. Two people for one sandwich. Ah, (Slices cheese) Chop-chop!

Rigby: (Whispering) Why do they make the sandwich like that?

Mordecai: I dunno. Let's never comeback here ever again.

(Behind them the delivery truck arrives at the gate and drives inside)

Mordecai: Dude, it's the truck, we're gonna miss it!

Rigby: Augh! I hate you, Buddy system!

Man: it's the Buddy Bohn-mi system!

(M&R run to the gate but it closes)

Mordecai: Gimme the code!

Rigby: I can't find it!

Mordecai: Seriously?! Argh! (Presses random buttons but it's incorrect)

(More spikes appear on the gate. They look at the delivery guy ringing the doorbell)

Mordecai: Here, I'll boost you! (Gives Rigby a leg-up and throws him on the other side of the gate. Mordecai jumps over the fence) Ok, let's-

(Truck drives away)

Rigby: No no stop!

(They follow but the gate closes. The truck drives away down the street. Cut to Benson angry on the phone)


Mordecai: We're sorry Benson, we-

Benson: Just reschedule the delivery and fix this, or YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!! (Hangs up loudly)

Rigby: I'd say that was only a 5 out of 10 on the chewed out scale. Not bad.

(Inside office)

Mordecai: Let's look up the number of the delivery company. (Clears away papers on desk) Ugh! (Looks at computer) Ok, reschedule. Here we go. (Calls company)

Office worker: Customer service.

Mordecai: Hello? I need to reschedule the delivery for 6932 Richmonty way. We only just missed the truck, so could you turn around real quick?

Office worker: If you were so close, how did you miss it?

Mordecai: We were waiting in line for a Bon-me.

Office worker: What's that?

Mordecai: It's like a Vietnamese sandwich! Urgh! Can you turn down that old music?

Office worker: This is my personal music. It will arrive today between 2 and 4 o'clock.If you miss this one, it's going back to the sender. I suggest you do not wait for any sandwiches at that time, sir.

Mordecai: (Annoyed) Thanks. Bye.

Rigby: So this is our last chance to get the package? oh, if we miss this one it'll be a 10 out of 10 chew out.

Mordecai: Worse than that, we'll get fired. So we gotta be serious and wait at the door for the package.

Rigby: Yeah. Serious. When's the delivery window? 2 hours from now?

Mordecai: Yeah?

Rigby: So we'll be serious in 2 hours. Let's go check out more of the house!

Mordecai: What? No! We gotta be responsible.

Rigby: Come on, we got all that time to get the irresponsibility out of our system. Then when 2 o'clock hits, boom! we'll be all serious. Whadya say?

Mordecai: (Skeptic) OK, but as soon as it's 2 o'clock...

Rigby: All business.

(A montage follows showing M & R riding the horse through the mansion, scuba diving (along with the horse) in the giant fish tank, visiting the personal grocery store and buying golden food with sparkles. They eat the golden food and get sparkles on their tongues. As time passes, Rigby plays with the tiger with a fishing pole like a kitten.