| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
(At the Coffee Shop, Mordecai and Rigby are watching a commercial for Mercury Heat, one of their favorite bands. As the TV announcer says each respective band member's name, they appear on the screen)
TV Announcer: Gene Hazard, Vince Vandercliffe, Rikki Nova, and Dolfph. Together, they are Mercury Heat!
(The Mercury Heat logo appears on the screen. The commercial then shows a clip of Gene Hazard performing while wearing a lightbulb constume)
TV Announcer: Known for their outrageous costumes...
(A clip of Gene Hazard playing the guitar while riding a motorcycle and jumping a firepit is shown)
TV Announcer: Death-defying performances, and their reputation for avoiding the press.
(A clip of the band wearing wingsuits, flying past a bunch of members of the press is shown)
Gene Hazard: No interviews!
TV Announcer: Until now!
(A clip of Del Hanlon is shown in the commercial)
TV Announcer: Channel 6 leading anchor, Del Hanlon, interviews the band for the first time...with the hardest...
(Del winks at the camera while sat on his desk)
TV Announcer: Hitting...
(Del winks at the camera while eating a sandwich)
TV Announcer: Questions!
(Del winks at the camera as he walks along the roof of Channel 6. The camera then cuts to a black and white image of Mercury Heat)
TV Announcer: All their secrets finally revealed tonight, at eight!
(The commercial ends)
Mordecai & Rigby: OOHHH!!! Mercury Heat!
Mordecai: I can't believe Margaret got us special press passes... compliments of Channel 6!
(Out of nowhere, Dr. Langer flies in with his jetpack)
Langer: Mordecai and Rigby! You took a DTV from the dome-itory!
Mordecai: D-T-what?
Langer: DTV! You know, that very expensive piece of machinery parked outside!
(Langer points outside, where a Dome-Terrain-Vehicle (DTV) is parked. It looks similar to the golf cart, but slightly more futuristic)
Mordecai: Oh, yeah.
Rigby: We were only gonna use it for like a minute!
Langer: Is that so? Well, I've got surveillance photos that say otherwise!
(At the Park, Langer shows Benson a collection of photos of Mordecai and Rigby messing around in the DTV, including images of them doing donuts and flying through the sky)
Benson: Oh, boy.
(Langer then shows Benson the final image, which features the duo splashing mud onto Pam, Steffen and another unnamed third scientist. Mordecai and Rigby laugh at the photo, while Benson looks back at them in anger)
Benson: Can it!
(Benson turns back to Dr. Langer)
Benson: I am so sorry for this, Dr. Langer.
Langer: The DTVs are meant for scientific research. They could've ruined weeks of data! There was a line there, and your guys crossed it. That's why I'm enacting a 24-hour lockdown...
Mordecai: What!?
Rigby: No way!
Langer: And Benson here is gonna make sure you don't leave the house, 'cause if you do, he's fired!
Benson: What? You can't do that!
(Dr. Langer lunges towards Benson)
Langer: Oh, yeah? Who's gonna stop me? You!?
Benson: Uh...
Langer: That's what I thought. Keep them in line, or we'll keep them in line for you!
(Langer flies off in his jetpack. Benson turns towards Mordecai and Rigby)
Benson: Agh! I can't believe this!
Mordecai: Come on, Benson! You know these dome rules are ridiculous.
Rigby: Yeah, you're just too afraid to do anything about it.
Benson: I don't wanna hear it. Lockdown! 24 hours! Starting now! Get inside!
(Mordecai and Rigby head into the house)
Rigby: Aw, dude!
Mordecai: There is no way we're missing Mercury Heat.
(Later in the night, Benson is sat in a lawn chair at the bottom of the stairs, sipping a flask of coffee)
Benson: No-one's getting past me. No, sir...
(At the top of the stairs, Mordecai, Rigby and Pops are watching Benson. They whisper to each other)
Mordecai: Thanks for helping us out, Pops.
Pops: Of course! I've just about had it with these dome rules. They're absolute rubbish, if you ask me.
Mordecai: How are you gonna distract Benson?
Pops: Leave that to me.
(Downstairs, Pops starts playing a soprano saxophone badly. Benson is clearly frustrated by its noise)
Benson: Wow, Pops. That's very impressive.
Pops: I've never had a single lesson!
Benson: But I think my ears are tired now, so -
Pops: Well then, let's wake them up!
(Pops continues playing, as Mordecai and Rigby drop down outside from a bunch of tied sheets. They arrive at Channel 6, where they show the station's bouncer their backstage passes. After showing them, the duo are let into the building. On the roof, Margaret shows them outside)
Mordecai: Best spot ever!
(They see Del Hanlon practicing tongue twisters)
Del Hanlon: Rubber baby buggy bumpers. Rubby baby buggy bumpers.
(Rigby points to the sky)
Rigby: Look! Here they come!
(A jet flies past as Mercury Heat jump out wearing wingsuits. They glide down to the Channel 6 roof, as fireworks blast behind them)
Mordecai & Rigby: Whoa...
(An aircraft marshaller signals them to land on the station's helipad, but the band glides past him and lands in front of Del Hanlon, creating an explosion)
Del Hanlon: (coughs) Wow, what an entrance!
(Del Hanlon brings out his hand for a handshake)
Del Hanlon: Del Hanlon, reporter on Channel 6 News.
(Gene Hazard looks down at his hand, then back at Del Hanlon)
Gene Hazard: Hey.
(Del Hanlon, not getting a handshake, moves his hand away from them)
Mordecai: Dude, I can't believe we almost missed this.
Rigby: Good thing our plan is foolproof!
(Back at the house, Benson stands outside Mordecai and Rigby's room. He then opens their door, to see fake versions of them sleeping. The fake versions are connected to a weighted bowling trophy via rope hooked up to their door. Every time the door opens, the fake Mordecai and Rigby roll over. A boombox is playing a pre-recording of the duo snoring. Benson closes the door, then checks on them again)
Benson: Hmm...hmm...yeah. You'd better sleep.
(Benson closes their door. Meanwhile, Margaret is giving a news report)
Margaret: Good evening. We have a very special treat tonight. After years of avoiding the press, rock sensation Mercury Heat is with us for our very exclusive interview! Del Hanlon reports. Del?
(Del Hanlon is reporting back to Margaret from the roof)
Del Hanlon: Margaret, I gotta say, it's getting pretty warm up here, 'cause these guys are bringing in the heat...or should I say Mercury Heat! (laughs)
(Mercury Heat stare at Del, unimpressed)
Del Hanlon: You know, 'cause, uh - (clears throat) Now you guys have been performing together for a while now, the fans must know - do you like it?
Gene Hazard: Yeah.
Del Hanlon: Incredible! Now, another burning question, for all the true Mercury Heads out there. Your performances are pretty loud. How is that on your ears?
(Mordecai and Rigby are still watching, shocked by Del's terrible interviewing skills)
Rigby: Ugh! Dude, what kind of question was that?
(Gene Hazard turns to Rigby)
Gene Hazard: What was that? We actually hear very well. You got some questions for us?
Mordecai: Actually, we do. Like, why does the four-minute-long guitar solo in the song "Flames Forever" end so abruptly?
Rigby: Yeah! Is it true it's because the mysterious fifth member died while recording it? I want answers!
Gene Hazard: Finally, some real questions.
(Gene Hazard points at Del)
Gene Hazard: You. Out.
(Gene Hazard points at Mordecai and Rigby)
Gene Hazard: You two. In.
(Mordecai and Rigby gasp)
Del Hanlon: And, scene.
(Del walks out of the camera's view and Mordecai and Rigby walk in. As the exchange occurs, the broadcast's heading text shifts from "DEL HANLON" to "TWO RANDOM GUYS". Back at the Park, Benson is binge-eating chicken wings while watching the front door. Skips is sat next to him, flicking through the channels on the TV)
Benson: Pfft, I can't believe Mordecai and Rigby said that to me earlier.
(Benson imitates Mordecai and Rigby)
Benson: "Meh, Benson! You're just too afraid to do anything about the dome rules!" Who do those guys think they are!? I'm their boss, for crying out loud.
Skips: I don't think you're mad at Mordecai and Rigby, I think you're just mad at Dr. Langer, 'cause he's technically the boss now and you're not.
Benson: No, that's completely not true.
(A fax is suddenly printed from Benson's strap-on fax machine. Benson reads it)
Benson: Oh, great. Now there's a malfunction with the dome door, and I have to go fix it.
(Benson stands up)
Benson: Skips, make sure Mordecai and Rigby don't leave the house.
(Benson walks towards the front door, as Skips changes the channel to Channel 6, where Mercury Heat are being interviewed by Mordecai and Rigby)
Gene Hazard: That's another great question, um, what was your name, again?
Mordecai: Mordec -
(Skips panics as he sees Mordecai, and quickly changes the channel, where a pizza commercial is playing)
Commercial: Pizza for only five dollars!
(Benson hears Mordecai's voice, and turns to Skips)
Benson: What was that?
Skips: Oh, uh, they're selling more pizza for five dollars!
Benson: Huh. What a deal. We'll order some when I get back.
(Benson leaves the house)
Skips: Those two have really done it this time.
(Back at Channel 6, the interview continues)
Vince Vandercliffe: And that's when I realized like, I wasn't mad at the world, you know? I was mad at myself!
(Mordecai and Rigby watch as Vince Vandercliffe begins to cry. Rikki Nova pats him on the back)
Rikki Nova: There, there, Vince.
Vince Vandercliffe: Cut the cameras! Cut the cameras!
(The camera operator puts down the camera. Gene Hazard walks towards Mordecai and Rigby)
Gene Hazard: That was...the best interview anyone's ever given us. So, wanna come party with us on our private jet?
Mordecai & Rigby: Yeah, we do!
(Back at the park, Benson is driving the cart towards the dome's garage door at the park's entrance)
Benson: Lousy dome scientists...Don't tell me what to do!
(Benson walks up to the dome door)
Benson: Huh?
(Benson sees a rock wedged underneath the door, preventing it from closing fully. Benson turns red with anger)
Benson: MORDECAI AND RIGBY!!!!!!!!!!!
(Benson pulls the rock from under the door and slams it to the ground. He then kicks it, immediately holding onto his foot in pain and screams. Pops is watching Benson from his room through his binoculars)
Pops: Oh, dear.
(Meanwhile on Mercury Heat's private jet, the band are sat in a lounge with Mordecai and Rigby, drinking sodas)
Rigby: Yeah, so I wanna graduate high school to impress my dad, you know?
Gene Hazard: (sighs) I know what you mean, man.
(Gene Hazard looks to the back of the lounge where Rikki Nova is talking with a couple of fangirls)
Gene Hazard: All the fans in the world can't replace a father's love. Hey, I know what'll cheer you up.
(Gene Hazard opens the door to the jet's cockpit to speak with the pilot)
Gene Hazard: Hey Stan, can we get a barrel roll, please?
Stan: Anything for Mercury Heat!
(Stan performs a barrel roll, causing everyone inside to roll around. When the barrel roll is over, everyone cheers)
Rigby: Again! Again!
Mordecai: Dude, this is seriously the best night of my life.
(Mordecai's phone begins to ring. He picks it up and answers)
Mordecai: Hello?
(On the other end is Pops, calling from the phone in his room)
Pops: The jig is up! Benson just sealed off the entrance to the dome!
Mordecai: Aw, man! Pops, you stall him 'till we get back.
(Mordecai hangs up the phone)
Mordecai: Benson's onto us! He's gonna find out we're not at the park!
Rigby: What!? There's no way we can get back in time!
Gene Hazard: There might be a way.
(Mordecai and Rigby look up to see Mercury Heat looking down at them)
Gene Hazard: You ever wear one of these?
(Gene Hazard reveals his wingsuit to them. Back at the Park, Benson kicks the house's door open, then kicks over his deck chair, before running upstairs and entering Mordecai and Rigby's room. He switches the light on to see Pops carrying the fake Mordecai and Rigby)
Benson: Pops!?
(Pops drops the fake Mordecai and Rigby, as Benson stomps over to the boombox playing the sound of the duo snoring and kicks it away)
Benson: What's going on here!?
Pops: Oh, Benson! I'm, uh - I'm just as surprised as you!
Benson: They snuck out! I knew it! I'm gonna fire them before Dr. Langer fires me!
(In the private jet, which is approaching the Park Dome, Mordecai and Rigby are now wearing wingsuits. They walk towards the jet's door as Gene Hazard follows)
Gene Hazard: So once we get close to the dome, spread your wings and coast through the moon door!
Mordecai: I don't know about this!
Gene Hazard: Of course you do! Just follow your dreams!
(Gene Hazard pushes Mordecai and Rigby out of the jet. They scream and wiggle around, and then start to glide. From the jet, they are watching by Gene Hazard and Vince Vandercliffe)
Vince Vandercliffe: Woo! Rock on!
(The jet flies away as Mordecai and Rigby glide through the dome's moon door. As they glide through the park, they find themselves heading towards a tree)
Mordecai: Look out!
(Mordecai and Rigby crash into the tree and fall to the ground. Moments after they land, they hear Benson yelling)
Benson: Mordecai and Rigby, I know you're out here!
(Benson is driving the golf cart, searching for them)
Rigby: Dude! Benson's coming!
(Mordecai and Rigby run towards a vaulted underground base in the middle of the dome)
Mordecai: Quick! Down here!
(Mordecai opens the vault and they both run inside, slamming the door shut. They run through the corridors inside the base, before stopping to catch their breath)
Mordecai: I think we lost him.
(They hear Benson's voice coming from above)
Benson: Mordecai! Rigby! Where are you?
(The duo continue running)
Mordecai: Come on, hurry!
(As they run, they hear what can only be described as a monster grunting)
Rigby: Wait, what's that sound?
Mordecai: It's coming from down there.
(Mordecai and Rigby head towards the sound. They find an open door, and look inside to see a smashed golf cart chained up to a scientist eating a grilled cheese sandwich. The scientist turns around to reveal a creature-like face, screaming at them. Mordecai and Rigby scream and run out of the underground base. As they run, they fall into Benson, knocking them to the ground)
Benson: There you are!
Mordecai: Benson! Something's down there!
Rigby: There's a huge monster, it looked right at us!
Benson: That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard!
(Dr. Langer flies down to Benson and the duo on his jetpack)
Langer: Benson! Maybe you misunderstood me. When I told you to keep them in the house for 24 hours, I meant it! I mean, wow!
(Benson begins to sweat anxiously)
Langer: All you had to do was literally keep them in one place for a day. But no, you couldn't even do that. Now they're out here wearing those stupid costumes! So congratulations, Mordecai and Rigby...you're fired!
Mordecai & Rigby: What!?
Benson: Hey! If anyone's gonna fire them, it's me!
Mordecai & Rigby: Yeah!
(Benson marches up to Dr. Langer, who slowly backs away from him)
Benson: I don't tell you people how to do your job! Whatever that may be! So you certainly don't have the right to tell me how to do my job!
(Dr. Langer trips over a rock, bursting a hole in his jetpack, causing it to lose all of its gas. Dr. Langer is now on the floor, with Benson looking down on him)
Benson: This is my park! They're my employees! You people need to back off and quit breathing down my neck! Do I make myself clear!?
Langer: Um, crystal! Crystal...clear as day.
(Dr. Langer chuckles as he stands back up)
Langer: Well, it looks like you got these two under control. I'll...I'll just leave you be.
(Dr. Langer attempts to fly away with his jetpack, but it malfunctions due to it running out of gas, and he falls to the ground again, with the jetpack sending him sliding over to a tree, where he bashes into it three times. Langer then rolls over and throws his jetpack off)
Langer: Stupid jetpack...
(Dr. Langer crawls into a bush. Mordecai, Rigby and Benson watch in amazement)
Mordecai & Rigby: OOHHH!!!
Mordecai: We're sorry we made you look bad, Benson.
Rigby: Yeah, we're sorry. But seriously though, that was so cool how you told Langer off like that!
Benson: Heh, what do you expect? I'm the boss, and as your boss, it's my decision not to fire you...
Mordecai & Rigby: Woo!
Benson: ...for now.
Mordecai & Rigby: Yeah!
Benson: Now, take off those costumes. You two look ridiculous.
(Mordecai, Rigby and Benson walk off, as Dr. Langer watches them from the bushes. He pulls out a flip phone and makes a call)
Dr. Langer: They're ready...and I'm going to the hospital.
(Dr. Langer hangs up the phone and weakly walks away)
End of "Lame Lockdown"