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Woman: And walah! This cake looks so yummy and now, I'm going to eat the whole thing all by myself.
Mordecai: Want cake!
Mordecai/Rigby: Need cake!
CJ: Why don't we go get some cake?
Mordecai: Are you kidding? Do you know how crazy the cake prices are in this town?
Eileen: Ever since that bakery cartel moved in, they kept the prices up and the supply down.
Rigby: Darn bakers!
Farmer Jimmy: (voiceover on the TV) Fellow Americans, does ever happen to you?
Female Employee: It's Susan's birthday, everyone! Come on, let's sing!
Male Employee: Aaaaaaaaarrrrggh!!!
Farmer Jimmy: (comes into the scene) Are you sick to death of this old birthday song?
Male Employee: Yes I am! (Punches his computer)
Farmer Jimmy: Well, boy, howdy, so am I! Hi, it's me, Farmer Jimmy, part-time turkey farmer and social applicant, but you already knew that. But what you may not know is that old birthday song offense my music sensibility so deeply, I barely have words to describe it. That's why I'm holding a contest to write a new birthday song. Not only will the winner create history by finally overthrowing Happy Birthday, but you'll also get a year supply of our farm-fresh birthday cakes.
Voice: Birthday cakes are not actually farm-fresh.
Farmer Jimmy: I'll see you at my farm, not singing that song, but your new one.
Mordecai: Dude, a year supply of cake? We gotta write the next happy birthday song.
(Circle-wipe transition to Pops' House where Mordecai and Rigby are in Benson's office)
Mordecai: Can we get the next three days off from work?
Benson: Um, no.
Rigby: But, Benson, we have to go compete in a happy birthday song contest. If we don't write a song to replace Happy Birthday...
Benson: Wait, the song that wins this contest will replace Happy Birthday? You can go to the contest.
Mordecai and Rigby: Nice!
Benson: I'm counting on you guys to put that happy birthday song in its grave. I can't, I just...
(Scene changes to the guys writing their new happy birthday song while walking)
Mordecai: Hey, Muscle Man.
(Muscle Man is doing some exercises on a tree branch)
Muscle Man: Three.
Mordecai: Will you listen to our new song and tell us what you think?
Muscle Man: (comes down from the tree branch) Por supuesto, bro.
Mordecai: Okay, so this is the first thing we came up with, so it may be a little rough still.
Muscle Man: Unnecessary information noted.
Mordecai: (to Rigby) Ready?
(Rigby nods, then as they started singing their new happy birthday song, a sound from leather workout boots is heard, and Muscle Man is touched by their new song)
Muscle Man: (sniffles) Okay, one: that sound was my new leather workout boots. Still breaking 'em in. And two: that song I've never heard anything more beautiful.
(Scene cuts to the road where Mordecai, Rigby, CJ and Eileen driving to Farmer Jimmy's Turkey Farm)
Mordecai: I can't believe we nailed in the new song on the first try.
Rigby: I can believe it. We've been totally nailing life recently.
Eileen: So, how far away is this farm exactly.
Mordecai: Looks like it's gonna take us all night.
Rigby: I'm getting hungry-y-y!
CJ: There should be a diner coming up. We could stop there.
(Scene cuts to a diner at night, and inside, Rigby peers into a dessert display case)
Rigby: Pie, pie, ca-a-a-ake! "$50 a slice"?!
Cake Cartel: Quit your gasping, it's a fair price.
(Rigby walks back to the guys at a table)
Eileen: No dessert?
Rigby: No thanks to the cake cartel.
Eileen: I can't decide between sherbet or sherbert.
(Four employees clap to the birthday song while they give a cupcake with a candle on it to a table next to their table where a mom and her son is)
Diner Employees: It's your birthday, birthday, happy happy...
Son: Augh! Make it stop!
Mother: But it's your birthday, sweetie.
Son: I don't want it to be my birthday if they're gonna sing that song! (starts crying as they continue to sing the song)
Mother: Can't somebody do something?
CJ: That poor kid.
Eileen: Augh! Are all birthday songs terrible?