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(Mordecai, Rigby, CJ and Eileen are watching TV)

Woman: And walah! This cake looks so yummy and now, I'm going to eat the whole thing all by myself.

Rigby: Cake!

Mordecai: Want cake!

Mordecai/Rigby: Need cake!

CJ: Why don't we go get some cake?

Mordecai: Are you kidding? Do you know how crazy the cake prices are in this town?

Eileen: Ever since that bakery cartel moved in, they kept the prices up and the supply down.

Rigby: Darn bakers!

Farmer Jimmy: (voiceover on the TV) Fellow Americans, does ever happen to you?

Female Employee: It's Susan's birthday, everyone! Come on, let's sing!

Employees: Ha--

Male Employee: Aaaaaaaaarrrrggh!!!

Farmer Jimmy: (comes into the scene) Are you sick to death of this old birthday song?

Male Employee: Yes I am! (Punches his computer)

Farmer Jimmy: Well, boy, howdy, so am I! Hi, it's me, Farmer Jimmy, part-time turkey farmer and social applicant, but you already knew that. But what you may not know is that old birthday song offense my music sensibility so deeply, I barely have words to describe it. That's why I'm holding a contest to write a new birthday song. Not only will the winner create history by finally overthrowing Happy Birthday, but you'll also get a year supply of our farm-fresh birthday cakes.

Voice: Birthday cakes are not actually farm-fresh.

Farmer Jimmy: I'll see you at my farm, not singing that song, but your new one.

Mordecai: Dude, a year supply of cake? We gotta write the next happy birthday song.

(Circle-wipe transition to Pops' House where Mordecai and Rigby are in Benson's office)

Mordecai: Can we get the next three days off from work?

Benson: Um, no.

Rigby: But, Benson, we have to go compete in a happy birthday song contest. If we don't write a song to replace Happy Birthday...

Benson: Wait, the song that wins this contest will replace Happy Birthday? You can go to the contest.

Mordecai and Rigby: Nice!

Benson: I'm counting on you guys to put that happy birthday song in its grave. I can't, I just...

(Scene changes to the guys writing their new happy birthday song while walking)

Mordecai: Hey, Muscle Man.

(Muscle Man is doing some exercises on a tree branch)

Muscle Man: Three.

Mordecai: Will you listen to our new song and tell us what you think?

Muscle Man: (comes down from the tree branch) Por supuesto, bro.

Mordecai: Okay, so this is the first thing we came up with, so it may be a little rough still.

Muscle Man: Unnecessary information noted.

Mordecai: (to Rigby) Ready?

(Rigby nods, then as they started singing their new happy birthday song, a sound from leather workout boots is heard, and Muscle Man is touched by their new song)

Muscle Man: (sniffles) Okay, one: that sound was my new leather workout boots. Still breaking 'em in. And two: that song I've never heard anything more beautiful.

(Scene cuts to the road where Mordecai, Rigby, CJ and Eileen driving to Farmer Jimmy's Turkey Farm)

Mordecai: I can't believe we nailed in the new song on the first try.

Rigby: I can believe it. We've been totally nailing life recently.

Eileen: So, how far away is this farm exactly.

Mordecai: Looks like it's gonna take us all night.

Rigby: I'm getting hungry-y-y!

CJ: There should be a diner coming up. We could stop there.

Mordecai: Alright.

(Scene cuts to a diner at night, and inside, Rigby peers into a dessert display case)

Rigby: Pie, pie, ca-a-a-ake! "$50 a slice"?!

Cake Cartel: Quit your gasping, it's a fair price.

(Rigby walks back to the guys at a table)

Eileen: No dessert?

Rigby: No thanks to the cake cartel.

Eileen: I can't decide between sherbet or sherbert.

(Four employees clap to the birthday song while they give a cupcake with a candle on it to a table next to their table where a mom and her son is)

Diner Employees: It's your birthday, birthday, happy happy...

Son: Augh! Make it stop!

Mother: But it's your birthday, sweetie.

Son: I don't want it to be my birthday if they're gonna sing that song! (starts crying as they continue to sing the song)

Mother: Can't somebody do something?

CJ: That poor kid.

Eileen: Augh! Are all birthday songs terrible?

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