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This page is the transcript for "Gymblonski".

(Episode begins at West Anderson High School. Mordecai and Rigby are drving up to the front in the cart.)

Rigby: (looking at his program list) Alright, let's see now. Foreign language, check. Geology, check. All that's left is....Bam!

(We are shown the list. Rigby circles the final class.)

Rigby (continued): Gym class! Once I pass this, I'll finally be able to graduate. Besides, any bozo can pass gym.

Mordecai: Then why didn't you pass the first time?

Rigby: I dunno. High school was a long time ago.

(Cut to the school gym.)

Principal Dean: Alright, you little loafers. Listen up! Coach McCrackle will no longer be teaching here.

(The gym class mumbles amongst each other.)

Principal Dean (continued): He requested that I read this letter of resignation to you all. (clears throat) "Dear class, things are finally looking up for me. I have won the lottery. Now that I'm a rich man, I will never have to spend another second in that disgusting gym with your pimply, greasy faces ever again." It, uh, goes on like this fo a while. But anyway, we found a new substitute for the remainder of the school year.

Rigby: A substitute? This'll be easier than I thought. Hello, high school degree.

Principal Dean: So please welcome former student and 5-time volleyball champion, coach Francis Jablonski!

(The door opens, and Jablonski walks into the gym in slow motion. He looks to the class and forms a smile. Rigby gasps and we zoom in on him to a flashblack. Teenage Rigby is standing in the hallways carrying books as he see Jablonski running towards him with a volleyball.)

Jablonski: Body check!

Teenage Rigby: Jablonski, no-

(Jablonski shoulder bumps into Rigby, causing him to groan and drop a few books. Cut to the gym. Jablonski is practicing volleyball with 3 others.)

Jablonski: Set me up!

(He serves the ball. Pans out to show Rigby walking by. The balls hits him in the face.)

Teenage Rigby: Aargh! Jablonski!

(Cut to the school field. Teenage Mordecai and Rigby are standing by as Jablonski is doing donuts, covering them in mud.)

Teenage Rigby (continued): JABLONSKI!

(Jablonski laughs as he continues spinning donuts. Fades back to present.)

Rigby: (whispering) Jablonski...

Principal Dean: Well, Jablonski, I'll leave ya to it.

Jablonski: Listen up, you clowns.

(The gym class is shocked.)

Jablonski (contnued): Now that I'm running this show, things are going to be different around here. (blows whistle) Everyone, 20 laps! Let's go! Except for my little bro Aiden, who's already achieved peak physical fitness.

(The class gets off the bleaches and onto the court.)

Jablonski (continued): (scoffs) Look at this. I didn't know this school had a 10-year program.

Rigby: Look, Jablonski. High school was a long time ago. We both matured a lot since then. Let's bury the hatchet.

Jablonski: Huh! As if! You wanna fail my class like you failed at life?

Rigby: (scared) No, sir.


(Rigby, Milton and the class run to the middle of the court, where they start doing jumping jacks.)

Jablonski (continued): ...58, 59, 60...

(Pan to Francis and his brother on the bleaches eating pizza.)

Jablonski (continued): Let's go! More jumps, less jacks!

(Cut to Rigby struggling to climb a rope in the gym. He reaches the top and falls off. Francis blows his whistle.)

Jablonski (continued): Get back on the rope, you Butterfingers! This ain't naptime!

(Cut to the gym class running across the field with the Jablonski brothers driving behind them.)

Jablonski (continued): Come on! Let's hustle! Only 3 miles left!

(Cyt to the gym class washing the Jablonksis' car.)

Jablonski (continued): That's right! Put your backs into it! I want the Jablonski mobile spotless before lunchtime.

Rigby: What does this have to do with gym class?

Jablonski: EVERYTHING! Now get scrubbing!

(Rigby growls. Cut to the door to Principal Dean's office.)

Principal Dean: Let me get this straight. You want me to fire Jablonski?

Rigby: Yes, Principal Dean.

Principal Dean: (sighs) I can't fire him, but I can talk to him on your behalf about the car thing.

Rigby: What?! No! Don't mention me! He'll only make things worse if he knows I told you.

Principal Dean: It'll be totally anonymous, don't worry about it. Your secret is safe with me.

(Cut to the school. The principal is on the gym court behind Jablonski.)

Jablonski: Alright now, before we begin, I have an announcement to make. Principal Dean just told me that someone here has a problem with my teaching.

Principal Dean: (to Rigby; whispering) Totally anonymous.

(Rigby gulps.)

Jablonski: Well guess what? That someone just earned you all extra laps!

(The class grumbles.)

Rigby: (sarcastically) Aw, man! I can't believe someone snitched!

(Jablonski blows his whistle, and everyone walks down to the court.)

Jablonski: Let's go! Get to it!

(Rigby whistles innocently as he goes down.)

Jablonski (continued): Hold it, Rigby. I got a special assignment for you. Aiden!

(Aiden comes into the gym with a bucket full of dishes.)

Jablonski (continued): You get to wash my dishes.

(Aiden sets down the bucket in front of Rigby, causing water to splash onto his face.)

Rigby: You can't do this! You're just a substitute!

Jablonski: I can do whatever I want. I know you ratted me out, Rigby. Good luck passing my class now. Might want to put some elbow grease into it. Some of that food has really kicked on there!

(He and Aiden walk away laughing. Rigby angrily gets started.)

Rigby: (mockingly) Might wanna put some elbow grease into it.

(Cut to that night at Pops' house. Rigby is lying on the sofa groaning. Mordecai walks in.)

Mordecai: Dude, what's the matter? Can't keep up with the high school kids?

Rigby: Worse. It's Jablonski! He's the new substitute for my gym class!

Mordecai: Whoa, he's a sub now? I thought he'd be in jail or something.

Rigby: (standing up) Aah! It's not fair! I've done everything to get my diploma! I fell down a cave holewent all the way to China, just so some meat-head can fail me in gym class. It's all for nothing!

(Mordecai sits down.)

Mordecai: No, it's not. You just have to beat him at his own game.

Rigby: But I'm terrible at volleyball!

Mordecai: What was that other thing he was into? Food...Run?

Rigby: (gasps) Yeah.

(Cut to West Anderson High. In the locker room, Rigby is carrying a stack load of dirty gym clothes, knocking into other students on the way. He finally sets it down in front of Jablonski, who is checking his timer.)

Jablonski: These time are pathetic.

(Rigby sighs and goes back. Milton is screaming and running away from Aiden as he smacks him with a rug. Aiden stops next to his brother.)

Jablonski (continued): A+ work, Aiden. Man, I'm starving.

(As Rigby opens his locker, a surprised look appears on his face as he hears the conversation.)

Jablonski (continued): Do they still do 'Taco Tuesday' at the cafeteria?

Rigby: You could do 'Taco Tuesday', or you could go on a...

(He closes his locker.)

Rigby (continued): ...Food Run.

Jablonski: Food Run? I haven't played that since high school. The glory days.

Milton: W-What's Food Run?

Jablonski: Don't you know anything, Milton?! Food Run is a game where two team order takeout from the same place. They race to the restaurant and the first team back with the food wins. I've never lost in my life.

Rigby: Jablonski, I challenge you to Food Run! If I win, you have to give me a pass in Phys Ed! Hmm-hmm!

(The gym boys gasp.)

Milton: Rigby, no! 

(Jablonski shows a competitive smile.)

Jablonski: Alright. But if I win, you fail. And you gotta wash me and Aiden's dirty jock straps for the rest of the semester.

(Rigby gasps.)

Rigby: Y-You're on!

Jablonski: Tommorrow night at midnight. We'll run to the Cheezer's on the bad side of town. You're going to lose, Rigby. Once a loser, always a loser!

(He walks out of the locker room.)

Milton: Wha are you gonna do, Rigby?

Rigby: I'm gonna need some help.

(A montage begins. At the kitchen in Pops' house, Milton unfold a map on the table and marks a road path from the school to Cheezer's. He and the classmates are outside the house as they watch Rigby drive the cart to the house, Mordecai keeping record of time with his timer. They move out of the way as Rigby comes to a stop. He comes out and goes into the house. He comes out with a lunchbag and throws it, causing it to hit a classmate's face. Mordecai shakes his head at the time.  We are then shown the same classmate standing and holding the lunchbag as Rigby drives toward him. He circles around, trying to grab the lunchbag, but fails. In the kitchen, Milton is checking his timer. Rigby runs in and grabs the lunchbag from thr table. He goes back outside and drives off in the cart. He is heading toward Mordecai and a few classmates, who cheer him on. Just as he is going to make it, he blows a tire. They all grieve over the busted tire until one classmate spots someone coming. It is Don, Rigby's brother, who has brought his car. He hands Rigby the keys, and he sets off, but not before tossing the lunchbag behind, which Milton catches. Cut to night time at West Anderson High, where the Jablonski brothers, Principal Dean and the rest of the gym class are waiting. On Francis' watch, it is 11:59 p.m.)

Jablonski: I knew he wouldn't show. Probably past that little chicken's bedtime.

Aiden: Heh, he's probably all nestled up in his chicken coop.

Both: (laughing) Chicken.

(They continue laughing until they see someone drive up. Everyone is shocked, even the marshal girl who blow a bubble in her face. It is Rigby, with Mordecai, who parks up next to the mobile.)

Rigby: Evening, Jablosers.

(The two brothers approach them.)

Jablonski: Well, well, well. Two dweebs for the price of one. Where'd you get that ride, twerp?

(Rigby adjusts the mirror.)

Rigby: Borrowed it from my little bro, who's way cooler than your little bro.

Jablonski: Ugh, let's just get this over with!

(Team Rigby and Team Jablonski are in their vehicles. The marshal girl has her flag raised.) Gum Girl: Alright. The first team to pick up their food and make it back to the front steps wins!

(Milton is at the steps, waving around.)

Gum Girl (continued): (laughs) Gentlemen, get ready to place your orders!

(Francis raises his phone, and Rigby raises his with confidence.)

Gum Girl (continued): On your mark, get set, GO!

(Split-screen; Rigby pushes one button while Francis dials the Cheezer's number. Transits to Francis' side, He listens for the pickup, but therr is only beeping.)

Jablonski: Ugh! It's busy?!

(Team Jablonski glares at Team Rigby, who have the early call.)

Mordecai: Hmm-hmm-hmm. Speed dial.

(Cut to Cheezer's, where a waitress and chef are working. The waitress receives the call.)

Waitress: Cheezer's.

(She enters Rigby's order.)

Waitress (continued): Yep. Mmm-hmm. Extra it. Alright, see you soon. (to chef) We got a food run!

(Cut to Team Rigby.)

Rigby: Ok, let's go!

(Team Rigby drives off, leaving Team Jablonski behind. Francis get frustrated and hands the phone to Aiden.)

Jablonski: Forget it! I'm just ordering at the drive-thru!

(Team Jablonski drives off. As we see Team Rigby driving through the town, we are shown a sign that says 'Now Entering The Bad Part Of Town.)

Rigby: Hey, it's not so bad here.

(In car view; a dirty businessman is in their way. He turns and see the car.)

Dirty Businessman: Get off my property!

(Team Rigby screams. Rigby drives out of his way and into a garbage can, spewing it over and leaving the car stuck.)

Rigby: Aahh, no!

(We pan out and see Team Jablonski driving past them laughing, putting them in the lead.)

Jablonski: Keep your eyes on the road, Grandma!

(Aiden serves a volleyball in the air, which hits Rigby in the head.)


(Team Rigby pulls out and gets back on the road, starting to catch up to Team Jablonski. Cut to what appears to be a tracker, Jablonski's team still ahead and Rigby's team still catching up. Principal Dean has the tracker, and the class is watching closely.)

Principal Dean: Jablonski's almost there!

(The two teams are almost at Cheezer's. Team Jablonski turns toward the drive-thru. Team Rigby follows.)

Rigby: Aaah! He's pullin' the drive-thru move! That's so much quicker!

(Rigby decides to reverse into a parking space. He then jumps out and runs to the Cheezer's entrance. He reaches the counter, tired.)

Rigby: Pickup for Team Rigby!

(The Cheezer's guy is grilling the cheese sandwich for the pickup.)

Cheezer's Guy: Uh, it's almost ready.

(Pan to the drive-thru window, where Team Jablonski is waiting. Jablonski glares at Rigby, who glares back. The Cheezer's guy finally has Rigby's order in the bag. He goes to give it to Rigby, who takes it without question.)

Cheezer's Guy (continued): Sorry, it's my first day.

(Rigby throws the money in his face and runs out.)

Jablonski: Aw, c'mon!

(Rigby runs back toward the car; the Cheezer's guy is frantically trying to swipe Jablonski's card to confirm payment, his order prepared.)

Jablonski (continued): Just gimme my food!

Cheezer's Guy: It's my...It's my first day!

(Rigby finally jumps into the car with his food. He holds in out to Mordecai.)

Rigby: Hold this.

(Mordecai does so and Rigby steps on the gas pedal. They drive out the car park. At the drive thru, the Cheezer's guy give Jablonski his food.)

Jablonski: Finally! Let's go!

(Team Jablonski drives off. Mordecai is looking at the map.)

Rigby: What's the map say?

Mordecai: (pointing) Go up here! There's a shortcut!

(At a split road, Team Rigby takes the second path. Team Jablonski takes the first.)

Mordecai (continued): Look out!

(There are a bunch of hobos walking on the road in their way. Rigby swerves around them. A bunch of hobos are hanging around a fire bin. They notice the car approaching and run away as it knocks down the bin. It heads straight for a fence. Rigby screams and swerves to a ramp near the fence. Team Rigby screams as they go up the ramp and in the air, then land back down on the road next to Team Jablonski.)

Jablonski: Sauce me, bro.

(Aiden takes out the cheese sauce from the bag and gives it to his brother, who tears it open with his teeth and throws it over his shoulder, causing it to land directly on the windshield of Team Rigby's car. Rigby screams. Nine cats jump onto the car to start licking the sauce, further blocking the view. Rigby stands in the vehicle.)

Rigby: Shoo! Go away!

(The dirty hobo from before jumps onto the car, causing Rigby to fall back into his seat.)

Dirty Businessman: I SAID GET OFF MY PROPERTY!

(Team Rigby screams again. They try swerving to shake  everything off the windshield. The two teams are now leaving The Bad Part of Town. The school is just ahead.)

Jablonski: Aw, yeah! We're gonna win!

Team Jablonski: Jablonski! Jablonski! Jablonski!

(Team Rigby swerves into the side of Jablonski's car, causing them to both start rolling. They land back on wheels. The gym class move out of the way before they crash into the sidewalk. Jablonski comes out groaning, as does Rigby. We are shown a split screen of Rigby and Jablonski staring each other. Jablonski takes his food from Aiden, who appears unconscious. He makes a weak run for the steps before tumbling. Mordecai gives his food to Rigby who follows suit.)

Mordecai: Go beat Jablonski, dude!

(Rigby and Jablonski are heading to the finish. In distorted slow motion Rigby is power-walking, catching up to Jablonski and holding his arm. Jablonski is crawling all the way. When Rigby starts to pass him, he slaps Rigby down on his legs, tripping him.)

Principal Dean: (distorted) Beat him, Rigby! Beat him so you can finally get out of my school!

(Milton looks on with a drop of sweat running down his face. The two rival are crawling to the finish with the food in their hands, until Rigby finally pushes ahead. Jablonski stops crawling.)

Jablonski: (distorted) Noooooo!

(The scene is no longer distorted. Rigby plants his food on the front steps first, Jablonski a split second after. Which means...)

Milton: Team Rigby wins!

(The gym class cheers for Rigby.)

Rigby: Yeah-yuh!

(He raises his bag in victory and plants in back down. Jablonski sits on the steps in defeats as the class and Principal Dean runs to Rigby, still cheering. Aiden goes to his brother.)

Mordecai: You did it, dude!

(All eyes are on Jablonski, who starts crying. Aiden pats him on the shoulder. Rigby walks down to him.)

Jablonski: It's not fair! I used to be the king of this school, now I'm just a lame, old substitute teacher who can't even win at Food Run!

(He buries his face in his hands and continues crying.)

Rigby: Come on, man. High school was a long time ago. You gotta get past the glory days and move on with your life. Focus on the now!

Jablonski: (sniffling) You're right. I gotta say, I got mad respect for that response, and for you. So much respect that I'm gonna embroider your face onto my letterman's jacket!

Rigby: Oooh. No, that's cool. Uh, you just pass me in gym class.

Jablonski: You got it, bro!

(Jablonski uses a marker to check off "Gym". Everyone jumps into a freeze frame victory.)

All: Yeah!

(End of Gymblonski)