| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
(At a bank, a bank manager guides a mysterious man to a safety deposit box)
Bank Manager: Your safety deposit box, sir.
Mystery Man: Thank you.
Bank Manager: Do you need anything else?
Mystery Man: A little breathing room.
Bank Manager: Of course, sir.
(The bank manager walks off as the mysterious man opens his safety deposit box. The manager then pushes in another safety deposit box labelled "204110" and grabs a laser gun from it, revealing him to be a spy for the U.S. government, pointing it at the mysterious man. The man grabs his safety deposit box and runs up to the spy and kicks him in the face, before running off. When he leaves the room in the bank, he is ambushed by two more spies pointing guns at him, but quickly hits the guns out of their hands with his safety deposit box. When the guns hit the ground, they automatically go off and fire lasers at the bank's chandelier, causing it to crash to the ground, with the mysterious man quickly jumping out of the way. He runs out of the bank as the lead spy gives orders)
Lead Spy: After him!
(The spies leave the bank and look around for the man, but can't find him)
Lead Spy: Ugh! I can't believe we lost him!
(Opposite the bank, a bus goes by, with the mysterious man sat inside. He opens up the safety deposit box, where inside are four U.S. passports, a stack of money, and a picture of Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, Pops, Skips, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost, attached to a note reading: "RENDEZVOUS: Midnight, Old Dam. Take out Park Guys")
Mystery Man: (laughs)
(Back at the Park, Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost are having their monthly "Guys Night" in the house. Unlike previous occasions however, they are incredibly bored, slouched on the couch, with nothing playing on TV)
Muscle Man: Ugh...
Mordecai: (sighs) I wish we could find the remote.
Muscle Man: There's probably nothing on anyway.
Rigby: Worst Guys Night ever.
(The doorbell rings. Mordecai turns to Rigby)
Mordecai: You get it.
Rigby: No, you.
(Mordecai looks at Muscle Man)
Muscle Man: No way, bros. I'm all settled in.
(Mordecai and Rigby answer the door to see the mysterious man standing there with two pizza boxes)
Mystery Man: Pizza delivery.
Mordecai: Uh, we didn't order -
Mystery Man: It's on the house.
Rigby: Aw, sweet!
Mordecai: Whoa, whoa, whoa...why is it free?
Mystery Man: Oh, it's a gift from an old friend.
(The mysterious man pushes Mordecai and Rigby back into the house, following them in. He shuts the door behind him as Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost walk into the hallway)
Hi Five Ghost: What's going on?
(The mysterious man grabs his own face and begins to pull it off)
Muscle Man: Ugh! I hate it when old guys do that!
(The man pulls his face off, revealing it to be a mask, and the identity of the mysterious man is their old friend, ex-intern turned Russian spy, Thomas, speaking with his Russian accent)
Thomas: Don't worry, it's just me!
Mordecai, Muscle Man & HFG: Thomas!
Rigby: Nikolai!
Mordecai: Oh, I guess Nikolai is his real name.
Rigby: But we knew him as Thomas first.
Hi Five Ghost: Yeah, let's go with that.
Everyone: Thomas!
Mordecai: What are you doing here?
Thomas: I'm here to take you out...for a good time! I have become tired of living in exile...danger around every corner, secret agents hunting me down at all costs. It's like, I get it! I betrayed your country, but come on, already! My point is, I have a plan to escape once and for all.
(Thomas passes the guys a picture of a dam beneath a train passing over on a bridge)
Thomas: I have to get to this rendezvous point. There is train by the old dam, that I must be on at midnight exactly. Then I will be free of my past! But first, I wished to see all of you one last time. To hang out with the only buddies I've ever known. That is...if you want to hang out with me?
(Muscle Man begins to tear up)
Muscle Man: (clears throat) Of course we do.
Hi Five Ghost: You know, I don't think Thomas was ever at a guys night before.
Rigby: Yeah, he was!
(A flashback begins with a scene from the Season 4 episode, Guy's Night. The four guys are sat on the couch, with Pops and Thomas standing by the door to the hallway)
Muscle Man: Hey, Thomas, go get us more chips at the store.
(Muscle Man throws a key at Thomas, which lands on the floor. Thomas picks up the key)
Thomas: (sighs) Fine.
(Thomas leaves the house. Later in the flashback, Thomas arrives outside the house with a bag of chips. Outside the door is a sign that reads "GUYS NIGHT IN PROGRESS. NO INTERNS!". Muscle Man looks through the letterbox)
Muscle Man: Just put the chips down and back away slowly.
(The flashback ends)
Hi Five Ghost: Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, Thomas.
Thomas: It's okay. I was an intern.
Mordecai: Well, get ready. 'Cause you're about to experience Guys Night classic style!
Rigby: Guys Night!
Hi Five Ghost: Guys Night!
(Pops kicks open the door to the living room, holding a gallon of milk)
Pops: Guys Night?
Everyone: Guys Night!
(A montage begins of the six guys enjoying their Guys Night. First, Mordecai, Rigby, Thomas and Muscle Man are all playing video games, while Pops and Hi Five Ghost observe them. Mordecai beats everyone. Next, everyone attempts the milk challenge, a challenge where you have to drink an entire gallon of milk in under an hour, which Pops was previously the first person to ever complete. Everybody throws up the milk except for Pops, who continues to chug the milk. Next, the guys wrestle, with Rigby on Mordecai's shoulders and Thomas on Muscle Man's shoulders. Pops throws lollipops over them. Next, the guys make an indoor tent with blankets, chairs and pillows. Next, the guys are all sitting in two hot tubs while wearing novelty drinking hats, connected to coconuts, where they drink coconut juice. Finally, two fireworks are shot into the air, as the guys sit on the roof of the house's porch, observing them and cheering)
Thomas: Wait, check this one out!
(Thomas opens up a case named "EMERGENCY FLARE", and pulls out a flare gun, firing a flare into the sky. He then picks up a bottle of soda and a cocktail umbrella. He shakes up the soda, then pierces the umbrella into the bottle cap, causing it to pop off and spray soda into the sky. The mini-umbrella hits the flare and creates umbrella-shaped fireworks)
Everyone: Whoa...
Thomas: I learned that in Turkey.
Rigby: How?
Thomas: You get creative when you're being chased by a team of ninja assassins.
Muscle Man: (sighs) You are so cool, now.
Thomas: My life is not all cool. Well, I should probably go to my rendezvous point now.
(Everybody complains to him to stay)
Pops: You must stay!
Thomas: But, I only have one hour before I'm supposed to be there.
Mordecai: One hour? That's tons of time!
Rigby: Yeah, man. Just come out to Wing Kingdom for one last meal before you go.
Muscle Man: Yeah! Wing Kingdom!
Everyone: Wing Kingdom! Wing Kingdom! Wing Kingdom!
Thomas: Aw...alright!
(Everybody cheers)
Thomas: But, I will have to wear my mask to go out in public. The secret agents, they still thirst for my blood!
(At Wing Kingdom, Carmenita is parked outside. The guys are all sat around a table eating wings. Thomas is wearing his mask, but hasn't touched any wings)
Thomas: Once I get on that train, I will be able to go from country to country. Maybe sampling chicken wings from each culture.
Rigby: Dude, if that's what your life is gonna be like, then sign me up!
Thomas: My life is very dangerous. There is death lurking everywhere. I have to live under the radar. No documents, no papers, no identity. I can't even get video store membership.
Mordecai: That blows.
Rigby: Ew...
Pops: Oh my!
Thomas: I envy your life at the park. It is nice, simple.
Mordecai: I've never really thought about it like that. But you know, with skills like yours, Thomas, you can pretty much do anything! And once you make it to the rendezvous point tonight, you're free! You can make whatever life you want.
Thomas: Yes, perhaps I even run my own video store!
Rigby: That's the spirit, Thomas!
Muscle Man: Yeah!
Hi Five Ghost: Yeah, you've got time to figure it out.
Pops: To old friends and new beginnings!
(Everybody raises a wing while cheering)
Thomas: Please, allow me to pay for this feast.
(Thomas pulls out a suitcase with stacks of dollars inside)
Mordecai: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Your non-marked, non-consecutive bills are no good here.
Thomas: Oh, come on, guys!
Mordecai: We got this.
Thomas: I'm supposed to take you out! Well, thank you all for making this a great night. I will cherish it always.
Muscle Man: But you can't cherish it if you don't have a wing.
Hi Five Ghost: Yeah, you haven't had a wing all night.
Thomas: Oh, yes. It is just really hard to eat with this mask. But I guess one wing could not hurt.
(Thomas takes off his mask)
Thomas: Ah, much better.
(Thomas goes to take a bite of a wing, but as it reaches its mouth, it is pierced by a dart)
Thomas: Wha'?
(Standing in the kitchen door are the three spies from the bank. Their leader speaks into an earpiece)
Lead Spy: The old crow is back on the playground. In pursuit!
Thomas: Run!
(Thomas flips over the table and uses it as a shield from the spies' darts. His friends join him behind the table as they roll it towards the exit, and smash through the window)
Thomas: Get to the car!
(The guys jump into Carmenita, with Pops at the wheel. Thomas stands outside, not entering the vehicle)
Thomas: You need to get out of here,
Rigby: But what about you?
Thomas: I can handle these guys. Just go!
Mordecai: Get in the car! We can help you get to the rendezvous point!
(The spies leave Wing Kingdom and approach Thomas, aiming a laser gun at him)
Thomas: Uh...okay, good plan.
(Thomas jumps into the back of the car as Pops flies them away in it. The spies start firing lasers at them)
Hi Five Ghost: How we doing on time?
Thomas: It is good. We should make it if we keep going like this.
(A chopper flies up behind Carmenita. Pops notices it through the side mirror)
Pops: Oh, dear!
(The chopper fires lasers at Carmenita, destroying its side mirror. Pops narrowly avoids the lasers, until one hits the bottom of the car, causing it to fall to the ground. Everybody screams)
Pops: Bad show!
(Pops lands the car successfully, and immediately enters a tunnel to avoid the chopper)
Pilot: We lost him.
(When the guys get to the other side of the tunnel, they find four unmarked spy vehicles tailing them from behind. The guys gasp as they see them. Thomas then puts his hand on Pops' shoulder)
Thomas: I will take the wheel!
(Thomas climbs into the driver's seat as Pops jumps in the back. He pulls the gear stick forward, dodging the oncoming vehicles. He then makes a tight turn around a corner. One of the spies attempts this, but ends up flipping their car over)
Muscle Man: Woo! Yeah!
(Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost high-five)
(Thomas looks ahead to see a box warehouse named "BOX 4 LE$$". He steps on the accelerator and drives into the warehouse, followed by three more spy vehicles. They manage to avoid hitting any boxes inside the warehouse. Thomas then notices a net of boxes hanging from the ceiling, fires a spinning blade at its hook, causing the boxes to fall on top of one of the spy vehicles, blowing them up. The other two vehicles pass with no trouble)
Mordecai: What was in those boxes!?
(The guys escape the warehouse, with the spy vehicles continuing to follow them. Meanwhile, two glass movers are carrying a big pane of glass through the street)
Glass Guy 1: These night jobs, I tell you.
(Rigby suddenly notices something)
Rigby: Wha', wha', wha', wha'!
(The glass movers continue to walk across the road)
Glass Guy 2: Better get time and a half for this one!
(Rigby points ahead anxiously)
Rigby: Th-th-th-th, th-
(The glass movers are still on the road)
Glass Guy 1: Maybe we should've moved this with the truck.
(Rigby gasps as the guys drive past the glass movers on a separate road, with the spy vehicles following them)
Glass Guy 1: Whoa, a car chase!
(The glass movers drop the glass to the floor and pull cameras out of their pockets to record the chase)
Rigby: (gasps) I can't believe I missed this text from Eileen!
(Rigby looks at his phone to see that Eileen has sent him a message saying "Haha, check out this dog!" with a picture of a brown dog wearing a party hat and sunglasses)
Thomas: You'd better hold onto that.
(Thomas does another tight turn and drives through an alleyway. The guys then drive down a set of stairs)
Spy: Whoa!
(The spy attempts to drive his vehicle down the stairs, but slips and crashes on the ground, along with another spy vehicle. The lead spy's vehicle approaches the top of the stairs to see the other two vehicles on fire, with the guys driving off ahead. The lead spy punches his steering wheel)
Lead Spy: Not again!
(The lead spy reverses through the alleyway. Moments later, the guys are finally approaching the old dam. They get out of the car as Thomas runs up to and opens a vault door on the dam)
Thomas: Get inside! Quickly.
(The guys run into the dam, just as the remaining spies arrive outside. Inside the dam, the guys are running up a set of stairs, then enter a large corridor. Thomas looks behind him to see a flashlight pointing through the corridor)
Lead Spy: There's nowhere to run! Give yourself up!
(The flashlight shines on the guys as they run. They scream, but continue running towards a tunnel)
Thomas: Into the tunnel!
(The guys run to the end of the tunnel, where they are now by a waterfall. They gasp as they look down to see that there's nowhere left to run. Despite this, they are just over 10 metres away from the train track where Thomas' train is due. They hear a train horn in the distance, as the train approaches their location)
Thomas: My rendezvous point! I'll have to jump for it!
Rigby: What!?
Mordecai: Thomas, that's crazy!
Muscle Man: You'll never make it, bro!
(The guys look behind them to see the flashlight getting closer)
Lead Spy: Over here!
Thomas: I have to try. It is my last shot at freedom!
Hi Five Ghost: So is this...godbye?
(Thomas puts his hand on Hi Five Ghost)
Thomas: Buddies do not say goodbye. They say "See you later, buddy!"
Mordecai: We'll never forget you, dude.
Rigby: Sorry we couldn't have had a guys night sooner.
Pops: This is the best guys night ever, thanks to you.
Muscle Man: Why couldn't you have been this cool before you left?
Thomas: I was, Muscle Man. I was.
(Muscle Man's eyes inflate as he begins to sob)
Muscle Man: Excuse me. I think I have something in my eye.
(Thomas takes a few steps back, and salutes the guys. They salute him back as they step aside for Thomas to jump. Thomas runs towards the end of the tunnel as the spies walk around the corner)
Lead Spy: No!
(The lead spy runs after Thomas)
Thomas: Guys Night!!
(Lasers are shot towards Thomas, but he avoids them. The train is nearly at its required location. Thomas continues to run, but a laser shoots near his foot, causing him to trip slightly. He still continues running, and leaps out of the tunnel towards the train. He gets close to the train track, but misses it by a few feet. Thomas falls down into the reservoir below. The train passes by and leaves the rendezvous point. Mordecai, Rigby, Pops, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost stand at the edge of the tunnel looking down into the reservoir, truly horrified by what they have just witnessed)
Rigby: Thomas...
(The lead spy suddenly shoves the other guys aside)
Lead Spy: Out of the way!
(The spy looks down into the reservoir, understanding that Thomas fell into it rather than getting on the train. He speaks into his earpiece)
Lead Spy: The old crow is silent. Commence clean-up operation.
(The spies walk away, back into the tunnel. The lead spy then turns around and points at the guys)
Lead Spy: We were never here.
(The lead spy joins his colleagues in leaving the tunnel. The guys turn around and look down to the reservoir once again, to mourn the tragic loss of their friend)
Pops: Is he really...?
Muscle Man: He was a true guys' guy.
(As the reservoir flows, a flare is suddenly shot from the water, and explodes with cocktail umbrella shaped fireworks, just as Thomas had shown the guys earlier)
Everyone: Huh?
(The guys look down to see Thomas alive and well, in a submarine)
Rigby: Thomas! But, the train!
Thomas: This was real rendezvous point! You had to know as little as possible for your safety! Now I am truly free! Thank you all!
Everyone: Guys Night!
Thomas: Guys Night!
(Thomas drives the submarine away, going back underwater, to start a brand new life)
Mordecai: Man, that was the best guys night ever.
Pops: Indeed!
(Suddenly, the lead spy pops his head around the corner)
Lead Spy: Wait, guys night!?
(Two other spies walk around the corner)
Spy: Guys Night?
(The chopper from earlier descends outside the tunnel)
Pilot: Guys Night!?
Everyone: Guys Night!
(in Thomas' submarine, he nods and smiles as he presses a button labelled "GUYS NIGHT 2". A firework is shot into the sky with the text "GUYS NIGHT 2")
End of "Guys Night 2"