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This is the transcript for the episode "Guitar of Rock."
Benson: Hello, Mr. Maellard! Huh, looks like he's not home. Help me bring these boxes inside, but don't touch anything or you're both fired.
Mordecai: Ok, ok!
(Benson pushes the doors open and enters Mr Maellard's house with Mordecai and Rigby following from behind)
Mordecai: Man, what's in these boxes?
Rigby: Yeah, this stuff is heavy!
Benson: Whatever it is, I'm sure its incredibly expensive, so be careful.
(Rigby places the box on the floor and wipes off sweat from his head)
Rigby: Phew! I wonder where the pool is?
(Both Rigby and Mordecai push a door open and enter a room with a lot of prized artifacts and other interesting objects)
Mordecai & Rigby: Wooahhhhh!!!
(In front of Mordecai and Rigby is a giant flat screen T.V. with an image of a dollar sign zooming up and down the screen)
Mordecai: That's the flattest flat screen I've ever seen.
(Rigby pushes a button on the wall and the flat screen drops downwards, revealing a large aquarium containing an octopus, a whale and three other fish)
Rigby: Nice. Arrgh!
(Benson yells at Rigby for touching the stuff)
Benson: Quit snooping around! Get upstairs and put those boxes away so we can leave before you two destroy the place.
Rigby: Fine, fine.
(Some classical music starts playing as Rigby puts a box down and leaves the room, and soon Mordecai leaves the room as well. Benson is left to pick up Rigby's box. Then through the open doors of another room we see Mordecai, Rigby and Benson, who walk past the room carrying boxes. However, Benson takes a few steps backwards, and looks into the room he had just walked past. There are several collectors items in there, such as a pharaoh's head, a sports car, an old classic car, a tyrannosaurus rex bone model and a bronze statue.)
(Benson walks towards a glass cabinet holding a white guitar)
Benson: Is that a signed Bruce rock guitar?
(He looks at his reflection In the glass cabinet, and has a flashback. As a teenager he is seen being held up by a crowd that is cheering at a Bruce Rock concert that he had went to when he was younger.)
Bruce Rock: Are you ready to get rocked?!
(Then it shows Benson standing up in what looks like a black mustang, with his friend driving. They appear to be following the Bruce Rock tour Bus. It then shows a map of America where Bruce Rock went to different concerts. Then Bruce Rock is shown performing, and we see Benson in the audience smiling, until he views his own reflection again and comes back to reality. He pauses and thinks for a second before opening the glass cabinet and taking out the signed Bruce Rock guitar. He puts the shoulder strap over his shoulder and strums the guitar.)
Benson: Hahahahahahahah! (He looks around to make sure no one is watching him) Yeahhhh! (He strums the guitar like he is a rock star) Wooohoooo! Are you ready to get rocked?!
(Benson gets so excited, he jumps into the air with glee. However, when he does this, he accidentally ends up breaking the guitar by smashing the top part of it against the bronze statue. Mordecai and Rigby then enter the room.)
Rigby: Benson, we're finished, we can-
Mordecai & Rigby: Woah!
(Benson is standing there with the broken Bruce Rock guitar, a shocked look on his face)
Mordecai: What happened to not touching anything ?
Benson: I... I don't know! I got carried away. This guitar is worth more than my life! Maellard is going to fire me for sure if he doesn't kill me first!
Mordecai: Ok, ok, wait. It might not be so bad. Maybe we can find some glue and...
Benson: (Lets out a loud cry) Arghhhaarrghhh! I'm ruined! There's no way I can... (Looks up in realization) Wait! You two! You can help me.
Rigby: Uh, we can?
Benson: You guys are always wrecking stuff and getting away with it; you're practically experts!
Mordecai: (Looks down at Rigby and then back up at Benson) Hm, we're totally experts. Don't worry, Benson, we can help you fix this.
Benson: You can?
Mordecai: Sure! All we gotta do is get another signed Bruce Rock guitar, and then we'll sneak it in here before Maellard realizes anything's wrong. Don't worry, dude, with our help, you're not gonna get fired.
(A clock transition shows Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson in the computer room, using the computer to find out if there are any Bruce Rock tickets online. Mordecai is typing on the computer with Rigby and Benson sitting beside him.)
Mordecai: Alright. The way I see it, Bruce Rock is always on tour, right?
Rigby: Well then the best way to see him is to go to his next concert, and then just go up to him and ask for another autographed guitar.
Mordecai: Oh, hey, what do you know? He's playing tonight.
Benson: Are you serious? He's in town? That's amazing! (Laughs) Man, you guys really are good.
Mordecai & Rigby: Hehehe, yeah.
Mordecai: Let's buy the tickets.
(Mordecai tries to buy the tickets, but a message pops up saying that they're sold out)
Rigby: Aw man, it's sold out!
Benson: Oh no! I'm gonna get fired and lose all of my retirement benefits! Oh man, oh man!
Mordecai: Dude, just relax.
Rigby: Yeah, the first plan never works.
(Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson decide to go to Muscle Man, who appears to be welding something. Muscleman turns around and lifts his face protection mask.)
Muscle Man: Talk to me.
Mordecai: Benson broke Maellard's guitar that was signed by Bruce Rock...
Muscle Man: Ah! Say no more bro, I'll give my buddy Ronnie a call, he'll take care of it for you.
Rigby: Who's Ronnie?
Muscle Man: He's one of Bruce Rocks roadies; he can totally get Benson another signed guitar.
Mordecai & Rigby: Hmhmhmhmhm!
Mordecai: Thanks, Muscle Man.
Muscle Man: No worries.
(Muscle Man gets back to his welding, but he is actually just cooking a T-bone steak on a barbecue grill with a welding torch)
Muscle Man: Mmmmmmm, T-bone.
(It is night time and Mordecai, Rigby, Benson and Muscle Man are at the Bruce rock concert, which is taking place at the convention center. There is a large group of Bruce Rock fans who are waiting outside, shouting Bruce Rocks's name over and over.)
Crowd: Bruce Rock! Bruce Rock! Bruce Rock! Bruce!
(The camera then zooms in to the side alleyway of the convention center, where Mordecai, Rigby, Benson and Muscle Man are standing. Muscle Man is talking to Ronnie.)
Muscle Man: Thanks again for doing this, Ronnie.
Ronnie: Hey, don't mention it bro; I still owe you for that night outside of Dooley's.
Muscle Man: Hehehehe. (Muscle Man and Ronnie high five each other)
Benson: It's Bruce Rock! It's Bruce Rock!
Ronnie: Hey Bruce, this is the guy Benson that I was telling you about.
Bruce Rock: Hey; what's up, man?
Benson: Mr. Rock, I would just like to say that it is an honor.
Bruce Rock: Right on, brother. I'll sign this guitar for you after the show. Hey: stay gold.
Benson: Thanks, Bruce!
Rigby: Man, he is looking old!
Benson: Hey, have some respect, he's an American icon!
Bruce Rock: Are you ready to get rocked?!
(The crowd cheers, and Benson raises his arms in the air)
Benson: Wooohoooo! I can't believe he's jamming after all these years. Bruce Rock is gonna live forever!
(Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson are just standing there, enjoying the music, when suddenly, something is heard crashing down, and a high pitched sound blares from the microphone.)
Anonymous: Somebody call an ambulance!
(The guys are at home watching the news report on T.V. A news reporter and an image of a helicopter lifting a body is shown.)
News Reporter: We have received confirmation that American icon Bruce Rock has died after tragically falling off a five-foot stage. Sources say that Bruce's old, old body just couldn't handle the fall.
Benson: I'm finished. This job was everything I had.
Mordecai: Relax, Benson, we already have a backup plan for situations like this.
Benson: (Sighs) Fine, what's the backup plan?
(A clock transition shows Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson visiting Death's house)
Death: Ain't no way you can contact Bruce Rock. When someone like him dies, they end up in the Rock and Roll Underworld. It's very exclusive. You're forbidden to enter unless you're a bonefied rock star, and you three losers don't exactly fit that description.
Rigby: Losers?! We're totally rock and roll.
Mordecai: Down to the bones.
Death: Fine, but you own me big. When you least expect it, you're gonna have to babysit Thomas.
Mordecai: We accept.
Benson: I won't have to babysit Thomas, will I?
Mordecai: Nah, we'll weasel out of it somehow.
Death: Now we gotta make you guys look like proper rock stars.
(Some type of rock music starts playing. Death hands Benson some clothes, Mordecai puts on a glove, Rigby puts on a pair of trousers with suspenders, and Benson puts on a leather jacket. Then the music ends with them standing there looking like rock stars.)
Death (continued): Now you need some Rock and Roll names.
Rigby: I'm gonna be 'Awesome Johnson'!
Mordecai: I wanna be 'Five - Knuckle Joe'.
Rigby: 'Rusty skull Bone'.
Mordecai: 'Lightning Jimmy-Joe Johnson'!
Death: Those are the worst Rock and Roll names I've ever heard. For this plan to work, they have to be just right. (Death points at Mordecai) Zander Mercury. (Death points at Rigby) King Pluto. (Death points at Benson) Max Amps.
Mordecai: Woah... good names.
Death: I know. Now let's go.
(The guys follow Death to his motorcycle)
Death (continued): Everyone on.
(Death revs his motorcycle and dives into a portal, which souls are seen flying out of)
Mordecai Rigby & Benson: Ahhhhh!
(The motorcycle bounces and lands on the ground, stopping right in front of the entrance of the Rock and Roll Underworld.)
Death: Welcome to the Rock and Roll Underworld.
(The camera shows an evil looking bouncer guarding the entrance)
Benson: How are we gonna get past that guy?
Death: Don't worry about him. I'm gonna put you guys on the list.
(Death sends a wave of light towards the clipboard with his mind and inserts their names on the list)
Death (continued): Now act like you belong.
(Mordecai, Rigby, Benson and Death walk towards the entrance of the Rock and Roll Underworld, approaching the bouncer)
Death (continued): Their tour bus just flew off a cliff, aint that right boys?
(Death punches Mordecai)
Mordecai: Yeah, I'm Zander Mercury, and these two jokers are King Pluto and Max Amps.
Rigby: We're on the list.
(The bouncer checks his list to see if the three names are on it, which they are. He then looks back up at Mordecai, Rigby and Benson before crossing out the the names with his pen.)
Rigby (continued): Cooool.
Bouncer: Alright, you guys are good.
(He unhooks a chain, allowing them to enter)
Death: This is as far as I can go. And remember what I told you: if you're caught, you'll be exiled to the Fake Rockstar Underworld for all eternity!
Benson: Wait, what? You never told us that.
Death: Yeah I did. I'm... pretty sure I did. Back at the, uh...
(Snaps his fingers)
Benson: (Turns to Mordecai and Rigby) No, he didn't! Gaaaah! I can't believe I'm doing this; just take me back, I don't wanna do this anymore!
(The bouncer turns to look at him)
Rigby: Hey, cool it! You wanna keep your job or not?
Mordecai: Yeah, settle down, Benson. You asked for our expertise, well this is how we roll. Now let's get that guitar.
(They enter the Rock and Roll Underworld. Several people are walking around and talking.)
Mordecai & Rigby: Woah!
Mordecai: This place is crazy!
Rigby: Woah, is that Igby Stallion over there?
(The camera shows a guy sitting beside a guitar that is on fire. He then proceeds to place a steak in the flames.)
Mordecai: (Pointing) And I'm pretty sure that's Ronnie Rugburn sitting over at that table.
(Ronnie bites into what appears to be wood)
Rigby: Dude, there goes Crash!
(A guy with long hair and a guitar walks by)
Mordecai: Wait, isn't Crash still alive?
Rigby: Oh, yeah... maybe he has a day pass or something.
Benson: (Points) Ah! At the back of the club! There's Bruce!
(They all run to the back of the club yelling 'Bruce')
Bruce Rock: Ah, hey boys; good to see ya.
Mordecai: Hi, sir. Sorry about the whole dying thing.
Bruce Rock: Pffft, you kidding me? I love being dead. Down here I can rock for all eternity! I feel young again.
Rigby: Yeah, you don't look super old like you did before you died.
Bruce Rock: Thanks! You boys still need that signed guitar?
Benson: Yes, sir. If... that's okay?
Bruce Rock: Of course! Now, who has a pen?
(Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson just look at each other)
Benson: Nobody brought a pen? You have got to be kidding me.
Mordecai: Wait. I know where we can get one.
(The camera zooms in to the bouncer's pen, and then the bouncer himself)
Benson: You want to ask the bouncer for his pen?
Mordecai: Yeah! Couldn't hurt to ask.
(An anonymous man walks up to the bouncer)
Anonymous: Oi, mate, can I borrow your pen?
(The bouncer grabs the man and throws him up into the ceiling, where he explodes)
Benson: No way! I'm not going anywhere near that guy.
Mordecai: Listen; this is the point of no return, where you have to take a huge risk for a huge reward.
(Benson realizes this and sighs. He then proceeds to walk up to the bouncer.)
Benson: Excuse me! I noticed your jacket earlier and... I was wondering. Is that leather?
(As Benson is distracting the bouncer, Mordecai and Rigby sneak up and try to grab the bouncer's pen. Before they can get ahold of it, however, the bouncer crosses his arms, putting the pen out of reach.
Benson (continued): (Laughs nervously) Uh... I just wanted to let you know it looks great. And uh...
(Mordecai is seen walking back over with Rigby on his shoulders)
Benson (continued): It kind of looks like my jacket!
(Rigby reaches for the pen)
Benson (continued): Except mine doesn't have the skulls. It has... tassles. You see? Tassles...
(Rigby is finally able to reach the pen. He is shown holding onto Mordecai eyelids, however, and Mordecai's legs are wobbling from Rigby's weight. No sooner does Rigby touch the pen, the duo fall right in front of the bouncer.)
Bouncer: Hey! (He takes back his pen and picks up Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson) Who'd you guys say your names were again?
Mordecai: Zander Mercury.
Benson: Max Amps.
Rigby: Uh... uh... Max King!
(The bouncer gives him an unconvinced look)
Rigby: (Looks down) Um... muscles! King Muscles!
Bouncer: Oh yeah then prove it!
(Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson are then seen on stage in front of a bunch of people)
Bouncer (continued): Come on don't just stand there! Play something!
Mordecai: Alright. Let's do this! One, two, three, four!
(They all horribly start to play their instruments)
Rigby: (off-key) Yeah! (Bangs on a keyboard) We're rock and roooooooooll!
Bouncer: You guys aren't rockstars!
(He turns into a griffin-like creature and swoops down towards Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson. The three friends scream in terror. The bouncer quickly grabs them before they can react.)
Bouncer (continued): You guys just bought yourselves a one way ticket to the Fake Rockstar Underworld!
Benson: We're gonna be okay, right? This stuff happens all the time, right?!
Rigby: No, this has never happened!
(A portal opens up behind them. The bouncer tries to throw the fake rockstars in, but they hang onto each other. Mordecai quickly grabs onto the bouncer's arm and hits him in the face with Mr. Maellard's guitar, sending him to the ground in pain and giving himself, Rigby, and Benson a chance to escape.)
Mordecai: Get the pen!
(Bruce Rock, along with a big crowd of people, is seen cheering as they watch Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson outsmart the bouncer. Rigby decides to gloat as he takes the bouncer's pen.)
Rigby: In your faaace!
(As soon as he says this, the bouncer roars, causing Rigby to scream and run away with Benson and Mordecai)
Mordecai: Bruce! We got the pen!
(Bruce quickly takes the guitar and runs alongside Benson, Mordecai, and Rigby as the griffin pursues them. He writes his name down, which permanently becomes ingrained in the guitar.)
Bruce Rock: (Hands the guitar to Mordecai) Here.
Mordecai: Thanks, Mr. Rock.
Benson: Yeah, thanks, Mr. Rock.
Bruce Rock: And always remember: (He rolls away) Stay gooooooooold!
(Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson continue running as the bouncer flies above them. They quickly duck under the chain that is covering the entrance as the bouncer bursts through the wall just over their heads.)
Death: Get on!
(Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson quickly hop onto Death's motorcycle. Death takes off, only to be easily pursued the bouncer.)
Rigby: He's gaining on us!
(A portal opens up in front of them, right as the bouncer is about to catch up. Mordecai screams as the bouncer almost manages to grab him. Just before that can happen, however, Death pulls up on the handlebars and pulls them through the portal, leaving the griffin to fly around in defeat. They manage to arrive back at Death's house, though Death can't see that because his eyes are covered by Benson's hands.)
Death: I can't see!
(They end up crashing right beside the entrance of the house, destroying Death's motorcycle and leaving them all sprawled out on the ground. Luckily, Benson is able to pull himself up and grab the guitar.)
Benson: We did it!
(A clock transition shows Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson back at Mr. Maellard's house. Benson is shown putting the guitar back in its place.)
Benson (continued): (Laughs) Man, you guys really bailed me out of that one.
Rigby: What can we say? It's what we do. (He gives Mordecai a high-five)
(Just then, Mr. Maellard walks into the room)
Benson: Mr. Maellard's coming! Be cool.
(Mordecai and Rigby quickly turn around)
Mr. Maellard: So, uh, you fellas like Bruce Rock, do ya?
Mordecai Rigby & Benson: Yeah.
Benson: My all-time favorite.
Mr. Maellard: Yeaaaah. (He walks over to the case and pulls out the guitar) I got this baby so that every now and then, I can feel like a rockstar.
(Right after he says this, he takes the guitar and smashes it on the ground, causing Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson to gasp and look on in pure shock)
Mr. Maellard (continued): It's good to be rich!
(End of Guitar of Rock)