Fancy Restaurant/Transcript

(park bench, day. Muscle Man chews a piece of gum, and then spits it out on a wrapper before placing it on the ground at sitting next to Starla. A speedwalker is coming up)

Muscle Man: Oh, it's on. (pulls out popcorn bag) Time to bust out the popcorn, baby. (starts eating some of them)

(the speedwalker steps onto the gum-covered wrapper as Muscle Man laughs at what he just did)

Muscle Man: Why aren't you laughing, babe? You always laugh when we go on dates!

Starla: Mitch, we have to talk. (MM&S get up from the bench as Muscle Man wonders what Starla is about to say) I've been thinking. We need to take our relationship to the next level. My parents are in town tonight, and I think you should meet them over dinner! (MM&S grab eachother's hands)

Muscle Man: Whoa, seriously? Babe, that's a huge step! (swings her down) And I already know the perfect place: Wing Kingdom.

Starla: Uh, I don't think you should take my parents to Wing Kingdom. (Muscle Man frowns as Starla gives her opinion) I have another place in mind.

(mini montage of a fancy-looking restaurant. First, we see a chandeleir. Then, we cut to a man sitting at a table with a cup of tea. He raises his pinky finger off the cup, and then, takes a sip. Next, we cut to a woman with a napkin. She raises her pinky fingers from off the napkin, and then, wipes her upper lip. Then, we see a sign that reads: No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service. Muscle Man looks through the window, dismayed)

Muscle Man: Oh no, bro. (to Starla) Uh, are you sure about this place?

Starla: Yeah! This is the best place to make an impression. I really want my parents to like you.

Muscle Man: Sure. Then, let's go here, babe.

Starla: (kisses Muscle Man) I'm so excited for my parents to meet you! (gasps) I have so much to do! (runs off)

(clock transition to the kitchen of Pops' house. Muscle Man is making a reservation as Mordecai and Rigby walk in)

Muscle Man: I'd like to make a reservation. (M&R notice what's going on) Yeah. Sorrenstein, party of four, seven o'clock PM.

Restaurant Employee: Oui, <Yes,> Mr. Sorrenstein, we will see you tonight at seven. Now, we do have a strict dress code.

Muscle Man: (begins sweating profusely) Dress code?

Restaurant Employee: Oui. <Yes.> Black tie, jacket...

Muscle Man: (M&R look on) Jacket? I think I might have a windbreaker.

Restaurant Employee: (angrily) What?! Did I mention a shirt and shoes are required as well?!

Muscle Man: Uh... Of course not, I know that! Now, this is totally a joke question, but that shirt has to be clean too, right?

Restaurant Employee: What?! Well, I never! (cut back to kitchen. The employee is yelling over the phone)

Muscle Man: (frightened) See you at seven! (quickly hangs up phone, panting)

Rigby: Lemme guess, Bistro en Le Parc?

Muscle Man: Yeah. I have to meet Starla's parents there tonight.

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa, takin' it to the next level!

Muscle Man: Yeah, but didn't you hear that? I barely made it through the reservation! How am I gonna impress Starla's parents if I can't even make a reservation?

Mordecai: Dude, just be yourself.

Muscle Man: I can't be myself! Myself sucks! Starla will totally dump me if her parents don't like me.

Rigby: We'll help you get fancy for your dinner.

Muscle Man: Really, dudes?

Mordecai: Yeah man. We're your friends. We hate to see you bummed out.

Rigby: Plus, last time Starla dumped you, you got all sad and we had to do your work.

Muscle Man: (laughs) Yeah. Sure glad I'm not you guys. Where do we start?

Mordecai: Not we. (cut to Pops' room, where Pops is standing) He. (zoom out)

Pops: (laughs) I'm so happy that you decided to become fancy, Muscle Man. And, you want me to help! I even wrote a book about it! (puts a book on the table, titled:) Fanciness, Theory and Practical Application. (opens book) A practical application of advanced theory of fanciness. (MR&MM walk back, out) Volume one of six. First printing, publishing date, M-C-M, X, V, I-I-I... (Mordecai closes the door)

Mordecai: Dude, we're gonna have to do this our way.

Muscle Man: Good. 'cause I don't know if I can handle having to listen to Pops speak Spanish anymore.

(clock transition to a montage of Muscle Man learning fanciness. Mordecai holds up a book called, "Etiquette for Very Young Children," and opens the book to step 1, "A firm handshake." Outside, Mordecai raises his arm for Muscle Man to shake, but Muscle Man clumsily pounds it from the top and bottom, then realizing he did it wrong. Next, they practice step 2, "Open the door for guests." Muscle Man opens the door for Rigby to walk through, but quickly runs in through the doorway, slamming the door in front of Rigby. Rigby facepalms before they next practice step 3, "Seat your guests." Muscle Man at first does it right when Rigby sits in the chair, but pushes it in too hard. We then use a clock transition into Muscle Man learning the forks in the kitchen. Mordecai holds up a sign that tells Muscle Man to pick up the salad fork. Muscle Man then picks up the fork to his farthest left. M&R nod in approval, and Muscle Man smiles, as we clock transition to the Awkward and Oblong men's store. We end the montage with Muscle Man coming out of a dressing booth, dressed in a tuxedo, and his hair held back with gel)

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa!

Mordecai: Dude! You look like a whole new man!

Rigby: How do you feel?

Muscle Man: Fancy. (the tuxedo falls apart, and the gel fails to hold Muscle Man's hair back) I can't do this!

Mordecai: We're gonna need a plan B. (to Rigby) Dude, you still got those mini-headsets?

(clock transition to the front of Bistro En Le Parc, night. Muscle Man's dressed in his tuxedo again, recieving instruction from M&R)

Muscle Man: (into headseat) Testing, testing! I don't know if I can do this, guys. (pan over to the window. Mordecai and Rigby, also dressed in tuxedos, are instructing Muscle Man, the former in a fake moustache, the latter in glasses)

Mordecai: Dude, don't worry! We got this! (cut to the inside) We're already inside.

Rigby: Just stick to the plan. Everything will be alright. (cut back to outside)

Muscle Man: Thanks, dudes. I-- (a car horn blares, and headlights shine on Muscle Man. He looks back, and sees Starla, and her parents, dressed in formal attire, coming out of the car)

Starla: (waving) Mitch! Mitch!

Muscle Man: (as Starla and her parents approach) Whoa! Babe! You look totally ho-- (Starla frowns) ...uh, lovely!

Starla: Mitch... (pans over to her parents) ...these are my parents. (short silence)

Rigby: (over headset) Shake their hands.

Muscle Man: (shaking the father's hand) Mitch Sorrenstein.

Herb: Charmed. I am Sir Herbert Gotzmendoder. (introduces wife) And this is my wife, Madame Rose Gotzmendoder.

Rose: (raises hand) How do you do? (Muscle Man kisses her hand)

Muscle Man: Let's go inside, shall we?

(They Went Inside)

Rigby:Dude Get The Door!!!

(Muscle Man Run And Open The Door For Them)

Restaurant Employee:Welcome To Bistro en Le Parc.

Muscle Man:Sorrenstein Table For 4.

Restaurant Employee:I Hope Misure <You> Found A Clean Shirt.

Muscle Man:(Laughs) You Know It Bro.

Restaurant Employee:Yes Your Table Awaits. Keep An Eye On Them.

Rigby:Dude Pull Out The Chair For Starla.

(Muscle Man Pull Out The Chair For Starla Even Herb Pull Out The Chair For Rose)

Rigby:You're Up Mordecai.

Mordecai:Showtime.

Starla:Oooo I Love This Place. It's So Nice.

Mordecai:Ah... If IT Isn't Mr. Sorrenstein. Are You Ready To Order Sir?

Muscle Man: Uh...

Rigby:Muscle Man You're Suppose To Order For The Table.

Muscle Man:Oh Right. The Ladies Will Have The Lobster And The Gentleman Will Have The Fillet Mignon. I Mean If The Ladies And Gentleman Were Cool With That.

Both:Indeed.

Mordecai:Excellent Choice Sir.

Muscle Man:And Here's A Little Something For Yourself Make Sure Things Are Extra Fancy.

All:(Laughs)

Mordecai:Put Your Napkin In Your Lap.

Muscle Man:Oh Right.

(Muscle Man Put His Napkin In His Lap Even The Rest)

(Mordecai Walk Away)

Mordecai:You're Up.

Rigby:OK Muscle Man Get Ready For Some Fancy Conforsation Topics.

Muscle Man:(Fake Chuckle)

Rigby:How Are You 2 Enjoy-

Muscle Man:The Weather? Um... Because I Think It's Uh... Nice Lately.

Both:Indeed.

Muscle Man:Uh... So What Do You Uh... Do? Uh... I Work Full Time In Park Uh... Management

Rose:Oh

Both:Indeed

Muscle Man:Yeah I'm Just Lucky I Get To Do What I Love Which Is Basicly Just Mowing The Lawn Toplics.

Mordecai Whoa Whoa Hey Hey Hot Salads Coming Through. Cool With The Toplics Talk. Her's Your Salad Sir.

Muscle Man:Salad I Love Salad I Eat IT Freakwinly Let's Dig In Shall We.

Rigby:FORK FORK USE YOUR FORK!!!

Muscle Man:Uh...

Both:Salad Fork

(Muscle Man Pick Up The Salad Fork Even The Rest)

Both:(Sigh)

(Muscle Man Chew Slowly Give Him Chocolate Pie Whiped With His Napkin Even The Rest And Make A Rousing Toast)

Muscle Man:To Which I Reply My Mom.

All:(Laughs)

Starla:Hey This Is Going So Well. They Really Like You.

Mordecai:He Did It! He Got Through The Whole Meal!

Rigby:Wait Who's That?

Restaurant Employee:Your Dessert Sir.

Muscle Man: Huh? Uh... You're Not Our Waiter?

Restaurant Employee:Oh No Your Waiter Is On A Break.

(Mordecai And Rigby Got Strangle And The Recorder Broke)

Restaurant Employee:But Do Not Worry. I Will Take Care Of You Now.

Muscle Man:Uh....

Restaurant Employee:Pleses Taste The Dessert. It's The Fancyest We Have To Offer.

Muscle Man:But There's No Forks.

Restaurant Employee:Oh Ther's No Forks For This Dessert. Only Spoons. NOW PICK UP A SPOON AND EAT IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Muscle Man Pick Up The Right Spoon Even The Rest)

Restaurant Employee:You Chose Wrong. (Snap) It's Time For You To Leave.

Muscle Man:What? Why?

Restaureat Employee:Because You're Not Fancy. You Do Not Eat the Creme Brulee With That Kind Of Spoon You Discuss Me.

Everyone:(Mumbles)

Herb:Is That True Mitch You Fake Being Fancy?

Restaurany Employee:Oui <Yes> (To Muscle Man And Starla) It's True Their Not Fancy At All

(Everyone Leaves)

Restaurant Employee:And If You Will Not Leave? We Will Escorp You Out So What Will It Be?

Muscle Man: So What So I'm Not Fancy? I Only Faked It So I Can Press My Girlfriend's Parents Ooo By The Way I Learn Or Actchally Pretty Cool. Who Cares What Kind Of Spoon This Is.(Throws Spoon) Starla You'e The Only One I Care About Were Finishing Our Dessert.

Restaurant Employee:Very Well Enjoy Your Dessert IN THE EMERGECY ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Waiter Grabs The Girls)

Muscle Man:Get Your Hands Of Her Bro!

Waiter:What Are You Going To Do About It?

Mucsle Man:Huh? Herb?

Herb:I Have Something To Confess Too? I'm Not Fancy Neither!

(Herb And Muscle Man Punches Waiters)

Restaurant Employee:DESTROY THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Herb:Me And Rose Were Just Pretending Cause We Wanted To Impress You

(Herb And Muscle Man Kicked Waiter)

Muscle Man:You Didn't Have To Do That?

Rigby:Whoa Whoa Whoa.

Mordecai:We're Unarmmed.

Waiter:Well Let Me Give You A Hand.

(Mordecai Grabs)

Waiter:Let Go Of My Satafaction Chain.

(Rigby Fights A Waiter)

Muscle Man: Hey Starla Nice-(Kicks) What? What The?

(Everyone Fights)

Starla:Are You OK Mitch?

(Muscle Man Triped The Employee And Fell And Dead)

Muscle Man:Let's Get Outta Here.

Herb: Know Exatcly Where We Can Go.

(Scene To Wing Kingdom)

Muscle Man:I Though You Guys Are Picky,

Herb:We Are. Hey This Place Makes Bistro en Le Parc Look Like Bistro en Le Trash.

All:(Laughs)

Herb: Is Calls For A Toast.

Muscle Man:I'll Do You One Better Herb?

(Muscle Man Lift The Table And Do Shirt Twirl Even Herb)

Mordecai:You Want The Rest Of My Wings?

Rigby:No Thanks. I Just Lost My Appatite.