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OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "Dumptown USA".

(Episode begins at Pops' house. Rigby and Eileen are playing a video game.)

Rigby: Okay. Whoever makes this jump gets to choose lunch.

Eileen: You're on!

(Rigby, who is Player 1, makes the perfect jump while Eileen fails.)

Rigby: Ohhhhh! We're going to Wing Kingdom!

(Eileen sighs. The two go back to playing as Benson comes into the living room.)

Benson: Rigby, did you clean out the gutters yet?

Rigby: No way. That's a two-man job.

Benson: Well, where's Mordecai?

Rigby: I dunno. I haven't seen him.

Eileen: Come to think of it, I haven't seen him since CJ dumped him at Muscle Man's wedding.

Benson: Yeah, no one has. He hasn't come to work for two weeks now. I tried calling, but he won't pick up.

Rigby: What? No, here. I'll call him.

(Without looking, he grabs his phone from inside the couch and speed dials Mordecai's number. He holds his phone to his ear. A vibration is heard, and Rigby hears it in the couch.)

(He opened Mordecai's phone and saw 300+ missed calls from Benson)

Rigby: Huh, that's not like Mordecai.

Benson: (frustrated) I can't believe this! You don't even know where your best friend is!?

Rigby: Hey, I've been busy. (signs which means hanging out with Eileen)

Benson: Look, I just concerned about the well-being about my employees as any park manager, but I've got a business to run in.(continues speaking)If you don't find Mordecai and bring him back to work by tomorrow, then I'm gonna have to fire him.

Rigby: (shocked) WHAT?! (stands up on the couch) WAIT! I can find him.

Benson: Well for your sake I hope so, otherwise you'll be cleaning the gutters solo from now on.

(Scene cuts to Mordecai and Rigby's bedroom, Rigby digs out a pile of clothes from the whole room until the whole room is filled with dirty clothes to find Mordecai)

Rigby: (digging out socks from the drawer, speaking to himself) Come on Mordecai, give me a clue here.

(His phone rings, he took out his phone and answered the call)

Rigby: Hello?

Eileen: Hey, I checked from Margaret, she hasn't seen or heard from Mordecai.

Rigby: Yeah, his parents don't know where he is either.

Eileen: And I don't think he'll be hanging out with CJ anytime soon. Well, (she takes out a flyer of Mordecai labeled 'Missing" on the top) I'll start putting these flyers around town.Hopefully a hundred should be enough.

Rigby: Well I'll be privileging his personal stuff he doesn't like me touching, see ya.(hangs up)

(Rigby takes the mattress off and sees the note, he picks up and reads it.)

Rigby: "Dear Mordecai, stop wallowing in your lady woes and come have sodas..."

Sad Sax: (narrating the letter) "...With other single bros! There's a place with hot sandy beaches and an All You Can Eat buffet. So pick up your sax and jam with the crew in Dumptown U.S.A.! Signed, Sad Sax."

Rigby: (annoyed) Uh, Sad Sax Guy, I should have known! At Dumptown U.S.A.? That sounds so lame! I bet nobody's ever been to this place.

Benson: Woo Hoo, Audrey who?!?! (flashbacks ends) Yep, good times. So good, that some people don’t ever leave, and I don’t blame them.

Eileen: You know what?! It's OVER!! GET OUT!! Consider yourself dumped loser!! (Kicks Rigby out) Don't call me!(Slams door)

Rigby: (Weakly) D-did I just get dumped for reals?

(The Sad Sax theme plays while the camera zooms up to show Sad Sax laying on the roof)

Sad Sax: (Scoffs) Chicks man.

Rigby: How long have you been up there?

Sad Sax: Brother, I saw the whole thing.

Rigby: IT WASN'T FOR REALS!!!

Sad Sax: Yah, that's what they all say.


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