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This is the transcript for "Dodge This."
(The episode starts showing Wing Kingdom. We hear the gang laughing and a plate of wings and sauce come in. Everybody grabs a wing and dunks it in the sauce. We see Mordecai and Rigby laughing, then we see Muscle Man, High-Five Ghost and Thomas.)
Muscle Man: And he was all like, BOOM!
(Muscle Man makes an explosion hand movement. Muscle Man, High-Five Ghost, and Thomas laugh.)
Benson: Hey! (eats a wing with sauce and laughs) Listen up, everybody, stop talking! (Benson shushes everybody while everybody lays their eyes on Benson.) Look, I just want to thank everybody for training so hard, we're doing a real good job. And I think we're in great shape for the dodgeball tournament tomorrow.
Muscle Man: I'll say. As long as Mordecai keeps throwing them spheres.
(Pretends to do the move he was talking about Mordecai doing.)
Mordecai: Ahhhhhhhhhh....... Nahhhhhh............
(Everybody Else): YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Thomas: Yeah, man, that spin move you were doing was crazy.
(Twirls his finger in a circle.)
Mordecai: Oh yeah, the Tornado.
Rigby: Yeah! The Tornado! Where'd you learn that? You were like WHAM! (Shows a movement of the Tornado.)
Hi Five Ghost: Ha ha. It is crazy fast.
Muscle Man: One of those Tornados flew by my head, and it was all like,(makes fast wind-swishing sounds. Everybody else laughs hard.) It's true.
Benson: Alright, everybody, just simmer down now. We've all been playing great, alright? (Everybody else chatters.) But, if I had to be totally honest here, we could all stand to learn a little something, from, this guy right here. (Touches Mordecai and whispers.) I think you're better than all of these guys here. (eats a wing and twirls his finger)
Mordecai: (chuckles) Thanks, man.
Skips: Hey, take it easy on those wings, Benson. You might still have a concussion from practice.
Benson: No, you're right, you're right. But you know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I think we have a really good shot of winning the tournament this year. (stands up) Sure we haven't won this thing in 10 years. But this is our year! Benson's Ballerz are gonna win this! So who's with me?!
Everyone else: Yeah!
Benson: I'm sorry, did you guys just say "Yeah?"
Everyone else: YEAH!
Benson: Alright, then! Let's do this!
(Scene cuts to the dodgeball arena, where people are training for the tournament. We pan over to Benson's Ballerz.)
Mordecai: Alright, dude. You figure out hoe to throw the right way this time?
Rigby: (holding a dodgeball) Hmm! Hmm! I got this! Rignado! (spins) Hee-yah! (throws the dodgeball, and it hits the referee)
Referee: Ooohhh! (falls)
Mordecai: Uhh, still needs work. (runs off)
Benson: (approaching Rigby) Rigby! No, no. No tornado.
(We see Mordecai picking up a dodgeball, when another flies into view.)
???: Hey! A little help?
(Mordecai picks up the other dodgeball and throws it back. It's revealed that CJ is the one who threw the ball, and is standing with wide open arms. Her smile fades as the two look at each other, and the dodgeball hits her. Mordecai screams.)
Mordecai: Ooooh! (turns around and runs off)
Thunder Girl Member: Hey, CJ! Come on!
(Mordecai continues running to the door as Rigby throws a ball at him.)
Rigby: You're out! (watches Mordecai run throught the door. Mordecai sighs in the hallway) Dude, what's your deal?
Mordecai: CJ is here.
Rigby: Are you guys gonna make out and run away from each other again?
Mordecai: Dude, quit it! I haven't seen her since we kissed on New Year's Eve and I feel weird around her. Like she still hates me for the whole movie mix-up with Margaret.
Rigby: Then just go talk to her about it.
Mordecai: No! Ugh, man. I'm not gonna be able to focus with her here. What if she distracts me and I mess up?
Rigby: Dude, whatever. Her team is new. They'll probably get eliminated in like, 2 seconds.
Mordecai: Yeah, I guess I'll just try to avoid her.
Benson: (comes through the door) Come on, you two! The game's about to start. (smiles and points) Benson's Ballerz needs their star player.
(Cut to Mordecai on the dodgeball court. Benson's Ballerz is on the left side, while East Pines is on the right.)
Referee: Alright, dodgeballers! If you get hit, cross the center line, or an opposing player catches your ball, you're out! First place goes to the last team standing. On your mark, get set, dodgeball!
(Benson's Balllerz defeat East Pines and move on to the second round, along with Blitz Bombs who had defeated Last Picks. The Magical Elements are up against an unknown team, and the emerge victorious. Thanks to Thomas, Benson's Ballerz defeat Blitz Bombs and move on to the third round along with Death Kwon Dodge. CJ's team, The Thunder Girls, defeat the coffee team and make it to the semi-final. along with Duke Dodgers. Mordecai uses his Tornado technique to defeat Sensai of Death Kwon Dodge, allowing his team to move on to the semi-final, along with none other than the Magical Elements. As their team starts to lose players, Mordecai, Rigby, Benson and Skips huddle up.)
Rigby: We don't stand a chance against these guys. They're using magic!
Benson: You're right. Line up behind Skips! (The Guardians of Eternal Youth have their magical dodgeballs ready) Skips, you gotta catch these. We got your back!
(The dodgeballs are thrown and Skips catches them as they turn red. Benson and Skips throw them, knocking out the God of Basketball and a wizard player. Mordecai knocks out Death, and soon, it's down to one Guardian and Gary.)
Benson: Finish this, Mordecai!
(Mordecai is about to throw, when...)
CJ: (to her teamates) ...and then I was like, "No, it's cause we want that huge trophy! (laughs with the team)
(Gary throws the ball at Mordecai face, eliminating him.)
Gary: Well, Benson, looks like your star player just burnt out. (makes a hissing sound)
(Benson, in a fit of rage, juimps and throws the ball directly at Gary's face.)
Benson: Yeah! (gets knocked out by Reginald)
Rigby: (catches the dodgeball) Hey, I caught it!
(Reginald throws another ball, knocking out Skips but missing Rigby, who is now the only one left.)
Benson: No. No. No!
(Rigby trembles while Reggie laughs)
Reginald: Well, let's get this over with.
(In slow motion, Rigby uses his Rignado and knock out the remaining Guardian.)
Referee: You're out!
Reginald: Nooooo! (uses magic on the audience, who run aside.)
Ballerz: OOOOOOOHHHH! (run to Rigby)
Benson: I'm sorry I doubted you, man. (to Mordecai) Mordecai, what happened out there?
Rigby: This girl that hates Mordecai is here and it's messin' up his game. (gets punched by Mordecai)
Benson: (not surprised) Mordecai, why didn't you say so?
Mordecai: It's complicated, okay?
Hi Five Ghost: (goes to the team bracket) Hey, we're playing the girls in the final game: The Thunder Girls
(We are shown Benson's Ballerz vs The Thunder Girls in the final.)
Mordecai: What?! (watches the team go on the court) Aaaugh! We're playing CJ's team? (puts his head in his hands) Aw, man. I can't do this. I can't do this!
Benson: (walks up tto Mordecai) Hey, hey. The only thing we can't do is lose! We already beat The Magical Elements! We've come too far to back down now. TOO FAR!
(Cut to the final game underway.)
Referee: On your mark get set, dodgeball!
(The two teams grab their dodgeballs and start throwing. One by one, each team member starts getting eliminated.)
Benson: (on sidelines with Fives, Muscle Man, Thomas, Pops and Skips) Ugh! We're dropping like flies!
Thunder Girl Member #2: Ugh! They're crushing us!
(Mordecai and CJ are the only players left. They both have worried looks on their faces.)
Benson: What is he doing?!
(Mordecai makes the first throw, which CJ dodges. She makes her throw, and Mordecai dodges as well. They both frantically start grabbing and throwing dodgeeballs and each other and dodging.)
Benson: Aaah! I can't take this! Finish her, Mordecai! Finish her so we can win this!
(Mordecai looks back at CJ.)
Benson: (in slow motion and rage) Finish her!
Thunder Girls: (in slow motion) Finish him!
(Mordecai starts running up with a dodgeball, and CJ does the same. They both spin and throw their dodgeballs at each other, and they both colide with great force and richochet back at the respective dodgeballers, causing them to disappear in midair. The scene moves to a dark area, where Mordecai and CJ reappear and plunder. They both get up and find themselves in a dark realm, where 5 people are looking at them.)
CJ: What is this place?
(They watch a replay of themselves in the final round.)
IDC #1: Mordecai and CJ, you have been summoned before the IDC.
Mordecai: The what?
IDC #2: The Intergalactic Dodgeball Councl, duh!
IDC #3: The reason that you're here is because you've reached an infinite standoff. And we believe that you're unable to knock each out because you've avoiding your history together.
CJ: What?! We're not avoiding our history together. (at Mordecai) I mean, like...
Mordecai: Yeah. We don't even have a history together. Well, you know what I mean, right?
CJ: (nods) Oh, yeah. We don't even...have a history...together.
IDC #4: You're dodging the facts.
IDC #2: Yes. Why are you dodging?
(Mordecai and CJ look at each other.)
IDC #3: Let us then view a replay of your history together.
(He forms three magic balls and floats them up. The first one is shown with a scene from Yes Dude Yes.)
CJ: (in scene) Oh, gross. How old are you? (she and Mordecai laugh)
(A second scene from Yes Dude Yes is shown.)
Mordecai: (in scene) But it's true!
CJ: (in scene) I can't believe this! Are you just playing? (turns into a cloud) Is this a game to you?!
CJ: (at IDC) Oh, that history.
(Mordecai looks up at the final scene.)
CJ: (in scene) We can still make the best of this.
Mordecai: (in scene) Huh? (they kiss)
(CJ buries her head with a regretful look.
Mordecai: Alright, look. (sighs) Every time I see CJ, I mess up. I didn't mean to lead her on with the date, or the kiss, but I did. And I understand why she's mad at me.
CJ: Wait. I'm not mad at you, Mordecai. I was just embarassed because of the way I took off after the kiss. I honestly thought you were mad at me.
(The second IDC member looks at them thoughtly.)
CJ: I'm definitely not mad at you.
Mordecai: Man. Sometimes I feel so dumb about this kind of stuff.
CJ: (laughs) Yeah, me too.
Mordecai: Well, you wanna start over, as friends?
CJ: Yeah! I'd love to. You know, like, as friends.
IDC #2: But what about the kiss?! The kiss! Oh, come on. Did that not mean anything?!
(Mordecai and CJ chuckle nervously.)
CJ: If I'd have known who he was, then I..
Mordecai: Yeah, I would've never, you know...
CJ: Oh, no. Totally. Never.
IDC #3: All in favor of Mordecai and CJ resuming league play?
(The IDC members start raising their spheres.)
IDC #2: Ugh! (raises sphere) Fine! But you still have to try to get each other out.
(Mordecai and CJ look at each other with a smile)
IDC #3: Then the matter is settled. You are free to resume league play.
(The IDC throw their spheres at Mordecai and CJ, who scream. They reappear back on the dodgeball court.)
Benson: (in slow motion and rage) Finish her!
Thunder Girls: (in slow motion) Finish him!
(CJ winks at Mordecai, who smiles)
Mordecai: You go.
CJ: No, you go.
Mordecai: No, you go.
CJ: Ok. (throws dodgeball at Mordecai's face, which hits him in slow motion)
Mordecai: Aaaargh! (falls back)
Referee: (blows whistle) The Thunder Girls win!
(The Thunder Girls run on the court and cheer.)
Thunder Girls: Thunder Girls! Thunder Girls!
(Benson falls to his knees and bawls,)
Benson: Noooooooo! This was the Balllerz's year! The Ballerz's year!
(Mordecai walks up to CJ and her team.)
Mordecai: Hey, good game.
CJ: You too.
Mordecai: Uh, I'm glad we're friends.
CJ: Yeah, I'm glad too. (starts to hi-five Mordecai, but quickly pulls her hand away with a smile) I'm glad that I whooped your butt! Oooooohhh!
Mordecai: (scoffs) Yeah, that was pretty good. Pretty good.
(Benson is crouched on the ground, sobbing.)
Skips: There's always next year, Benson.
Benson: (sighs) I need a wing real bad.
(end of Dodge This)