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This page is the transcript for "Dizzy".

(Episode starts with Benson and Skips in Mr. Maellard's office)

Benson: It's always good to have you at the park, Mr. Maellard, sir.

Mr. Maellard: (turns to face Benson & Skips) Don't try to fraternize with me, Bert.

Benson: Actually, sir, my name is Benson.

Mr. Maellard: I know what your name is, Beanbag! So, everything is ready for the unveiling of the new statue today, right, Beanbag?

Benson: Yes, sir. The catering's all set up, and the sound system is in place...

Mr. Maellard: Good. Great. Only one thing missing. My son! (shows portrait of Pops) Pops! When I told him he had to give a speech today, he ran away, crying. I didn't invite all my friends and waste a lot of money for nothing! Right, Beanteen?

Benson: Uh, no, sir.

Mr. Maellard: Now you go find Pops so he can give his speech, or you're fired! Underline, FIRED!!!

(cut to seconds later, with the door slamming)

Skips: So, what do we do first?

Benson: Find Pops, and make sure Mordecai and Rigby don't mess this up.

(clock transition to the swingset. Pops is sitting on one of the swings, sobbing, as Mordecai and Rigby walk up)

Mordecai: Hey Pops, is everything okay?

Pops: No. My father wants me to give a speech in front of all his friends today. But I can't, because I'm a no-good turkey and I'm going to strawberry jam the whole thing up! (M&R look at each other)

Rigby: What are you saying?

Pops: I'm just saying, I can't... I don't know why, I just get terribly anxious when I give speeches...

Rigby: I give speeches all the time. It's easy.

Mordecai: When do you ever give speeches?

Rigby: What? It's like, just, talking in front of a bunch of people. We talk in front of each other all the time.

Mordecai: Actually, yeah. We do do that. (to Pops) See, Pops? We can totally help you get over your nerves.

Pops: Oh, thank you!

(clock transition to another part of the park, next to a lamppost covered with notes)

Mordecai: Okay, Pops. I want you to pretend there's a crowd of people here. But, they're all your family and friends. You know, people who it's easy for you to talk to. (backs away) And... go!

Pops: Oh! Uh... (pulls out notecard from his vest) I need my notes. Let's see. Umm... (notices the emptiness) Where did everyone go? They must have hated my speech.

Mordecai: No, Pops. Just pretend there are people there.

Pops: (turns to emptiness, then back to M&R) I'm not very good at pretending.

Rigby: I got this. (goes to lamppost to grab a band for hire ad and puts it over Pop's eyes) Here. Pretend these dudes are your friends and family in the crowd.

Pops: Where did these people come from?

Rigby: Okay, Pops. Give it a shot. (turns Pops to the right)

Pops: Okay, um... (pause) NO! NO! Get away! (starts running around. The ad shakes as he moves) STOP FOLLOWING ME! (runs into lamppost)

Mordecai: Maybe we should just find you some real people to practice on.

(mini-montage of Pops struggling to give his speech in front of people at a baseball stadium, concert hall, movie theater, restaurant, hospital and job interview. Cut to the park where Pops is still sobbing.)

Mordecai: Okay. Obviously, this isn't working.

Rigby: I guess Pops will just never be able to give his speech, you know what I'm saying? (Mordecai punches Rigby) Owww... How you holding up there, Pops?

Pops: Oh, I just don't think I can do it.

Mordecai: Hey, I know. Why don't you just picture everybody naked?

Pops: Naked?

Mordecai: Yeah.

Pops: Okay... (looks at Mordecai & Rigby to see that they are already naked) I don't like doing this...

Rigby: Ugh. I don't know, why don't you just spin around and get dizzy or something?

Mordecai: What? How's that gonna do anything?

Rigby: It makes more sense than looking at naked people. (to Pops) Pops, what would you rather do? Spin around and get dizzy, or look at naked people?

Pops: Get dizzy.

Rigby: Hmph. Hmhmph. Hmhmph. Why don't you give it a try, Pops?

Pops: (slowly) Okay. (MR&P stand up)

Mordecai: Ready?

Pops: Uh-huh.

Mordecai: Now spin! (Pops starts spinning faster and faster)

Pops: Oh, yes!

Mordecai: Is it working?

Pops: (the world around him becomes warped as he laughs) Oh my, it's true! (sees blurry Mordecai & Rigby) I'm not nervous anymore! (laughs) It's working, it's working! (cut to the job interview, hospital, restaurant, movie theater, concert hall and baseball field, in that order, before we cut back to the park) I'm not nervous! I'm not nervous! I'm not nervous! I'm not nervous! I'm not nervous! I'm not nervous! (laughs) I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna give the best speech I've ever given!

(cut to another part of the park. Benson and Skips run up to each other)

Benson: I can't find Pops. Did you see him?

Skips: No. I checked everywhere. (Muscle Man is seen mowing the lawn in the distance)

Benson: Muscle Man, have you seen Pops at all today?

Muscle Man: Yeah. And you know who else has seen Pops today?

Benson: Who, your mom?

Muscle Man: I wasn't gonna say that. Why does everyone always think I'm gonna say "my mom"? I saw Pops earlier by the playground, with those two losers.

Benson: Oh, great. Mordecai and Rigby found him first.

Skips: We better find him, quick.

(cut to where Mordecai Rigby & Pops are. Pops is still spinning around)

Mordecai and Rigby: Okay Pops, you can stop now.

Pops: But I have to keep spinning until I give my speech. Did I tell you I'm not nervous anymore?

Mordecai: Yeah, you did.

Rigby: A bunch of times, actually.

Pops: Isn't it wonderful? I think I'm finally ready. (Pops starts to get dizzy)

Mordecai and Rigby: Careful, Pops!

(Pops stumbles as he stops spinning, eventually falling into a portal in the ground. Pops screams as he falls through the green void. The background changes from radar circles, to kaleidoscopic blue shapes, and finally, white with black lines. Pops' mustache disintegrates, then, he's stripped naked from the gravity around him. He stops screaming for a moment as he realizes it's just a white void, but resumes screaming when the gravity comes back in. He then falls into a pink pool that leads to a land down below. His clothes and mustache are restored as his hat falls onto his head. In the distance, he sees other creatures dressed like him, one of them, a goldfish that comes up and scares Pops. Back on the surface world, Mordecai & Rigby look upon the knocked-out Pops)

Rigby: Is he dead? (Pops moans)

Mordecai: Oh, dude. He must have passed out from spinning too much.

Rigby: (pulls out marker) Never pass out, when there's markers about!

Mordecai: Dude, this isn't some sleepover, this is serious! (Mordecai & Rigby go down to Pops and flip him over. Pops moans again) Oh, man. I'm gonna get help. (runs off) You stay with Pops!

(ripple transition into Pops' unconscious world. They have all surrounded him. From the distance, realistic-looking versions of Mordecai and Rigby, Iacedrom and Ygbir, arrive.)

Pops: (Feeling scared) Oh, my!

Iacedrom: (squawks at Pops, and then coughs) Sorry about that. I am Iacedrom.

Ygbir: And I, Ygbir. (takes off hat to reveal ice cream)

Iacedrom: Would you like some ice cream?

Pops: Oh yes, of course!

Iacedrom: So what brings you here, traveller?

Pops: Hmm? Well, I was just getting over my fear of giving speeches. (the crowd voices in their opinion)

Iacedrom: Indeed. We all hate speeches! In fact, we outlawed them.

Ygbir: Yes, yes. Quite illegal. In here, it is forbidden to give speeches just as it is forbidden not to enjoy ice cream.

Pops: Oh, what a relief!

Iacedrom and Ygbir: Good show!

Pops: Jolly good show indeed!

(cut to the surface world. Rigby is already defacing Pops with the marker. He snickers as Mordecai, Benson and Skips drive up with the cart)

Benson: Oh no, what are you doing?! Get away from him! (looks at Pops' drawn-on face) Rigby!

Rigby: Sorry, it's a nervous habit. You guys were taking forever.

Benson: This is a disaster! Look at him! (Mordecai & Rigby snicker) It's not funny! (to Skips) Skips, what do we do?

Skips: (puts his head against Pops) You shouldn't have made him spin like that. (goes to the cart and grabs a red box) You're gonna have to go in after him.

Rigby: Go in where?

Skips: Into Pops. (Mordecai & Rigby look at each other, and grab hold of each other's hands)

Rigby: Make this quick. I don't want people to think we're holding hands or something.

Mordecai: Just spin.

(Mordecai & Rigby start spinning around in circles, while Skips flexes the rope. As they get dizzy, Skips starts to lasso the rope. Finally, Mordecai & Rigby let go)

Mordecai: (dizzy) Don't worry Pops, we're coming...

(Skips throws the rope around Mordecai and Rigby before they fall into Pops' head. They scream as they fall through the void before falling into the pink pool that leads into the Dizzy World. Mordecai & Rigby see Pops in front of Iacedrom & Ygbir and the other citizens of the Dizzy world)

Rigby: Look, there's Pops!

Mordecai: Pops, Pops!

(Pops hears them and looks up at them)

Pops: Mordecai, Rigby, hello!

Mordecai: Pops, we have come to bring you back!

Pops: But I don't want to come back. I like it here.

Mordecai: But what about your speech?

Pops: I don't want to give the speech.

Rigby: But we spent all that time preparing! Are you just gonna blow it off now?

Pops: Yes.

Mordecai: This is ridiculous! Come on Pops, let's go! You're coming back with us!

Pops: (acts immature and turns the other way, crossing his arms) No, I'm not!

Mordecai: (sternly) Pops, let's go.

Pops: (angry) I said no! (silence for a second)...Now listen here, I have gone through enough turmoil because of that confounded speech. Why is it me that needs to speak? Surely, there are those more qualified than I. I hate speaking in front of crowds. And we have tried every which way for it to work, but I just simply cannot do it. Why am I like this? I don't know, but surely my father must understand that there are limits to my abilities. I'll never ever be able to give a speech, and that's just fine by me.

(Mordecai & Rigby look at each other, surprised)

Mordecai: Never say never, Pops!

Pops: What do you mean?

Mordecai: You just gave a speech!

Pops: (startled, and turns to the crowd) Oh my, I did! (turns back to Mordecai & Rigby) I did give a speech!

Rigby: Yeah! I guess you didn't get nervous because you were not facing the crowd!

Pops: It's true, I didn't feel nervous at all. (Runs up to Iacedrom & Ygbir) Friends, I'm sorry, but I have to leave you now. (dramatic music ensues)

Iacedrom: Indeed. You do have to leave, for you have broken the law!

Ygbir: No speeches! (Iacedrom & Ygbir hiss and squawk, scaring Pops. Then, Iacedrom lunges his beak towards Pops, but Pops runs for cover. Ygbir also tries to catch Pops within his teeth)

Mordecai and Rigby: Pops!

Mordecai: (to Skips, in the real world) Skips, drop us lower! (Skips lowers the rope, and his arm, into the unconcious Pops) More, Skips!

Skips: That's all we got.

(Ygbir corners Pops as he tries to run away, so Pops tries to run in the opposite direction, before being blocked off by Iacedrom, who picks up Pops by the head with his beak, then, throws him over go of him into Mordecai & Rigby, Are still holding the rope)

Mordecai and Rigby: Pops!

Mordecai: (to Skips) Skips, pull us up!

(the rope is pulled back into the skies of the Dizzy World, just as Iacedrom flies towards Mordecai, Rigby, & Pops. The three then make it into the pink void, causing Iacedrom to hit his head on the matter. In the real world, Mordecai & Rigby are pulled back in through Pops' head. When they are out, Pops comes to, wondering what happened.)

Benson: Pops, you're awake!

Pops: Benson, my good man. Pardon me, I just came back from that strange and wonderful place.

Benson: Okay, sure, but can you still give the speech?

Pops: Oh yes, I am finally prepared.

Benson: Thank goodness. We just have to get this trash off his face.

Mordecai: Nah, it's cool. Pops is gonna give his speech facing backwards anyway so...

Benson: What? You idiots! This isn't some kind of joke! He can't give a major speech in front of a distinguished crowd facing backwards. If Mr. Maellard sees this, we're all gonna get fired.

Mordecai: (to Rigby) Give me the marker. (Rigby gives the marker to Mordecai) Turn around, Pops.

(Mordecai turns Pops around so the back of his head shows, then, draws a face, similar to Pops', on his head. Then, Skips puts the hat on. Everyone but Benson seems satisfied)

Benson: We're dead.

(clock transition to the ceremony, some time later. Pops is at the podium. His still-trashed side pulls out the card with his speech as Mordecai & Rigby nod. Then, Pops gives his speech)

Pops: Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby dedicate this new statue to the Park.

(The crowd claps)

Gentlemen: Bravo. Bravo.

Mordecai and Rigby: That's the whole speech?

Gentleman: You've got a fine boy there, Maellard.

(Pops, his real face hidden away from the crowd, struggles to cut the rope, but, after a few tries, he finally does. Cut to the food stands. The groundskeepers reflect on what went on)

Rigby: That went pretty well.

Benson: Are you kidding?!

Mordecai: You can't fire me. I thought of the marker thing.

Rigby: Yeah. We totally saved you this time, Benson.

Benson: (growls) Quick! Maellard's coming!

(Turns Pops around as Mr. Maellard walks up to him for a congratulation)

Mr. Maellard: Son, you gave a fine speech up there. I'm so... proud of you.

Pops: Oh! Thank you, papa! (Is seen crying on his defaced side) Thank you.

Mr. Maellard: You pulled it together out there today, Ball bucket. Good job. (walks away)

Benson: Thank you, sir. It was.... no trouble.

Mordecai and Rigby: What was that?

Mordecai: We're the ones that found Pops.

Benson: And sent him into shock and desecrated his face! (sighs) Let's go clean you up, Pops. (He, Pops, and Skips leave)

Mordecai: This party sucks.

Rigby: You wanna go back to that Dizzy World?

Mordecai: Yes.

(Mordecai and Rigby start to spin, but we never get to see them pass out, as the screen cuts to black before then.)