| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
(In the Park Dome, Benson's car drives in towards the mini-dome. Mordecai and Rigby both leave the car, with Mordecai holding a pizza box and Rigby twirling Benson's keys around his finger. Mordecai starts beatboxing as Rigby raps)
Rigby: Yo, my name is Rigby, I got pizza galore. You may have a lotta pizza, but I got much more. Had to borrow Benson's car 'cause it's a crisis, downtown they're selling slices at half-prices. I knew he'd say no, so I didn't say please, I snuck into his office and made out with deez keys!
Mordecai & Rigby: Deez Keys! Deez Keys! Made out with deez keys!
(Still twirling Benson's keys around his finger, Rigby accidentally lets go off them, as they fly into the air)
Rigby: Whoops!
(The keys smash through the window of Dr. Langer's penthouse in the mini-dome. A replacement window immediately closes down, with the keys trapped inside)
Mordecai: Dude! What the?
Rigby: Hey, it's Benson's fault! He's got like a million keys on thing!
(Mordecai and Rigby climb up the mini-dome to look through the window, where they see Benson's keys laying on a pedestal. Mordecai glances at Rigby angrily and slides down the dome, as Rigby follows)
Mordecai: Dude, we gotta get those keys back.
Rigby: But, how!?
Mordecai: Let's go ask those scientists over there.
(Mordecai and Rigby head towards a group of four scientists, Trent, Tobias, Rachel and Steffen. They are eating Dr. Langer's food bars)
Trent: And that's why he only has one ear!
(The scientists laugh as Mordecai and Rigby stand near them. Rigby clears his throat and the scientists look back at them)
Mordecai: Hey there, guys. So, we accidentally threw our boss's car keys through that window up there...could you just run in there and grab them for us?
Trent: Yeah, sorry, pal. We're not allowed to interact with the "test subjects". Anyway, looks like they landed in Langer's penthouse, which is a top security area.
Steffen: No-one goes in there!
Mordecai: There's gotta be something you can do?
Trent: Maybe, but, you know...no thanks.
Rigby: Aw, what!?
Mordecai: Hey!
Trent: Now, if you'll excuse us, we're on our lunch break.
(Trent takes a bite of his food bar, which is almost rock solid and hard to chew through. He manages to take a bite, but is clearly disgusted by its taste and texture)
Trent: Mmm, so good!
(Steffen picks a hair out of his mouth while Rachel and Tobias groan as they swallow)
Mordecai & Rigby: Hmph, hmph, hmph!
Mordecai: Too bad Langer only lets you eat those gross compressed food bars. Maybe if you help us out, we could sneak you some real food. Maybe something like... This?
(Mordecai opens up the pizza box to reveal a pepperoni pizza, and all the scientists, minus Trent, gasp)
Trent: No! It doesn't matter, you could never get past Langer's security systems anyways.
Tobias: Uh, well they might be able to if we helped them.
Trent: Shut up, Tobias! They don't need to know that!
Rachel: Well, I'm not gonna risk losing my job over some food.
(Rachel takes another bite from the food bar, then drools it out in disgust)
Rachel: Yeah, we should do it.
Trent: Fine, we'll vote on it. Huddle up!
(The scientists huddle up as they discuss their plans)
Rigby: Dude, pizza fixes everything!
Mordecai: Yea-y, it does!
(The scientists finish their discussion)
Trent: Okay, we'll help you get the keys. We're gonna need four extra-large pepperoni pizzas. Get the pizzas, and we'll meet you at your room in an hour.
Mordecai & Rigby: Okay!
(The scientists glare at Mordecai and Rigby as they back away into a bush)
Trent: This never happened.
(Later, at the House. Mordecai and Rigby are carrying five pizza boxes to their room)
Mordecai: Ugh, why does the pizza place have to be so far away?
Rigby: Yeah, but it'll be worth it when we get those keys.
(Rigby knocks on his bedroom door. Steffen opens the door slightly and whispers to them through the gap)
Steffen: You got the stuff?
Mordecai: Yeah, dude.
(Mordecai opens the top pizza box to reveal a pepperoni pizza)
Steffen: Trent!
(Trent pokes his arm through the door to take a swab of the pizza. He then drops it into a test tube containing a green liquid. He taps it three times as it turns yellow with red spots)
Trent: Pepperoni. It checks out.
Steffen: Alright.
(Steffen checks the coast, then takes the pizzas from Mordecai and re-enters their room. Mordecai and Rigby follow them in, to find that the scientists have transformed it into an command station, with Mordecai's bed being used as a pinboard, and computers surrounding the place)
Mordecai: What the? What did you do to our room!?
Rigby: Just give us the keys! Where are they?
Trent: In Langer's penthouse.
Mordecai & Rigby: What!?
Trent: Oh, come on! Do you really think we'd risk our jobs and break into Langer's room? (laughs) You're gonna do that.
Mordecai: But you said you'd help us!
Trent: And we are! We've rigged up your room as a command station. Langer's gone crazy about security. Infrared lasers, booby traps, cameras all over the place! (laughs) But lucky for you, our top minds will guide you through it.
(Mordecai and Rigby look towards Tobias and Steffen on their computers, eating pizzas)
Tobias: (laughs) Pizza...
Steffen: (laughs) Yeah...
(Trent continues speaking to Mordecai and Rigby)
Trent: So, you've got about an hour to get in and out, and grab the keys while Langer is busy at his afternoon workout.
(On one of the scientists' camera feeds, Dr. Langer can be seen doing situps in a gym)
Mordecai: Ugh, fine. We'll do it.
Trent: Alright, let's suit these two up!
(Later, Mordecai and Rigby lurk from some bushes opposite the mini-dome. Mordecai speaks to the scientists from an earpiece)
Mordecai: We're in position!
Trent: Okay, stay put. Rachel's gonna use a dome-drone to distract the guards.
(A dome-drone approaches two security guards standing outside the mini-dome's entrance)
Guard 1: Oh, hey there H-2953. What's going -
(The drone ejects its arms and punches the guard in the stomach, then aims a laser gun at the other guard)
Guard 2: Oh, easy now! Let's all just -
(The drone starts firing lasers at the second guard, chasing him away, while dragging the first guard away)
Guard 2: Why!?
(Mordecai and Rigby look at each other shocked)
Mordecai: Yeesh...
Trent: The guards are distracted. Begin phase one.
(The duo army-crawl from out of the bushes. Rigby is seen to be wearing a backpack. They sneak over to the mini-dome's entrance, where a security panel is seen)
Mordecai: We're at the security panel. How do we get in?
Trent: Rigby, look in the backpack we gave you for a resealable plastic bag.
(Rigby goes into the backpack and pulls out a plastic bag containing a set of teeth)
Rigby: Aw, sick!
Mordecai: What is?
(Rigby throws the teeth bag at Mordecai, who throws them back at Rigby, who throws them to the ground. Rigby hyperventilates)
Trent: (scoffs) They're not real teeth. They're just molds of Steffen's teeth for the dental lock.
(Under the security pad, a dental lock is ejected, in the shape of Steffen's teeth. The duo realize that one of them must put the fake teeth in)
Mordecai: Not it!
Rigby: Not - aw, dude! That's - ugh!
Mordecai: (laughs)
Rigby: Fine!
(Rigby puts the fake teeth into his mouth. Mordecai snickers at him, as Rigby speaks, his voice sounds more nasally and like he has something stuck in his throat)
Rigby: Stop talking!
(Rigby puts his mouth around the dental lock)
Mordecai: Heh, I wonder how many people have had that thing in their mouths?
(Rigby, with his mouth and fake teeth around the dental lock, tries to say to something to Mordecai, but it is inaudible. Rigby's fake teeth are accepted and the door is unlocked. Rigby puts the backpack back on, still with the fake teeth in his mouth, and heads into the mini-dome with Mordecai)
Mordecai: Okay, we're in. Now what?
Trent: Okay, now take the elevator at the end of the hall up to the second floor.
Mordecai & Rigby : Hmph, hmph, hmph, hmph!
(The sound of saliva can be heard spewing in Rigby's mouth. The duo walk over to the elevator as Mordecai presses the button to go up. The elevator doors open, and the duo enter, with Mordecai pressing a button for the second floor. As they go up, Mordecai and Rigby glance at each other. Mordecai screams when he sees that Rigby still has the fake teeth in)
Mordecai: Dude, gross! Why do you still have those teeth in your mouth?
Rigby: Uh, they're kinda growing on me.
Mordecai: Ugh, they're freaking me out.
Rigby: Well, get used to it, pal. This is how I look now. I look cool.
(Rigby chatters the teeth together with his jaw)
Mordecai: Pfft, nuh-uh.
(The duo arrive on the second floor of the mini-dome, and sneakily exit down the hallway)
Trent: Now keep walking down this hallway and take your first right to Hallway L.
(Mordecai and Rigby do as Trent says, and find themselves outside a large vent-like hallway with the letter "L" written on both sides)
Trent: Okay, now take the black box out of the backpack and turn it on.
(Rigby pulls a black box out of the backpack and puts it on the ground. Mordecai takes the backpack from Rigby as he switches the box on, revealing it to be a fog machine)
Rigby: A fog machine?
(Mordecai and Rigby, who is drooling, look ahead to see their passage blocked by shape shifting lasers)
Mordecai & Rigby: Whoa...
Steffen: Hey, guys. it's Steffen here to guide you through the laser hallway. Don't worry, you won't trigger the alarm as long as you do exactly as I say.
Mordecai: We gotta get those keys, dude.
(Rigby finally spits the fake teeth out as they prepare to run through the lasers)
Steffen: Ready?
Mordecai & Rigby: Ready.
Steffen: Okay...run!
(Mordecai and Rigby start running)
Steffen: Duck!
(The duo duck under some rectangular lasers)
Steffen: Jump!
(The duo jump over some criss-cross lasers)
Steffen: Roll like a log!
(The duo roll like a log under a singular horizontal laser. Steffen gives the next command with a Caribbean accent)
Steffen: Limbo, mon!
(The duo limbo under a series of horizontal lasers)
Steffen: Crab walk!
(The duo crab walk briefly before running regularly)
Steffen: Now, dive!
(Mordecai and Rigby dive through a series of vertical lasers, landing at the end of the laser hallway, groaning)
Trent: Langer's room is just across this corridor.
Mordecai & Rigby: Sweet.
(Mordecai and Rigby go to take their first step out of the laser hallway)
Tobias: Stop! That room is filled with motion detectors, the only way to stop them from triggering is to move through very slowly...go!
(Mordecai and Rigby make their way through the corridor semi-slowly)
Tobias: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down...
(Mordecai and Rigby creep through the corridor at a slower pace)
Tobias: No, no. Much slower... There's also facial recognition scanners, but if you constantly change your facial expression, it shouldn't be able to see you, okay? Change!
(Mordecai squints his eyes and drops his jaw, as Rigby does the same but with one eye)
Tobias: Change!
(Mordecai lowers one eyelid while raising his other eyebrow and gnashing his teeth together. Rigby closes his mouth tightly while squinting his eyes)
Tobias: Change!
(Mordecai puffs up his cheeks while opening his mouth, squinting one eye, and raising his lower eyelid on the other)
Tobias: Change!
(Mordecai sticks his tongue out of his mouth, while lowering one eyelid and squinting with his other eye)
Tobias: Change!
(Mordecai goes cross-eyed with one eyelid half-closed, as he sticks his tongue out of his mouth, showing his teeth. Rigby lowers one eyelid while raising the other, with his teeth gnashed together)
Tobias: Change!
(Mordecai squints one eye while looking into the air, sticking his tongue out. Rigby pulls his jaw forward while squinting his eyes, making him look like a horse)
Tobias: (snorts) Change!
(Rigby opens his mouth wide and smiles while squinting one eye, as Mordecai bends his neck forward and half-closes one eye, puffing his cheeks up with his mouth wide out. The scientists start taking pictures of them while laughing)
Steffen: Take a screenshot! W-w-wait!
(Mordecai and Rigby leave the corridor and stop pulling faces as they realize it was never required)
Rigby: Huh?
Mordecai: Dude, they're just messing with us.
Trent: That is a classic!
(Mordecai and Rigby approach the door to Langer's penthouse, to find that its keypad doesn't use typical symbols. Instead of numbers 1-9, it consists of lines and dots)
Mordecai & Rigby: Aw, man!
Rachel: Hey, guys. This is a conundrum keypad. The hardest keypad known to man. We're not gonna be able to crack it. We need to go in another way! Reach into your backpack, there should be a suction-cup shaped tool.
(Mordecai pulls the suction cup out of the bag)
Rachel: Do you have it?
Mordecai: Yeah.
Rachel: Stick it to the door.
(Mordecai sticks the suction cup to the door. After a couple second, it pops off and falls to the ground)
Mordecai: It fell off.
Rachel: Okay. You're going to have to lick the suction cup to get it to stick.
Mordecai: Okay.
(Mordecai looks down to Rigby)
Mordecai: Dude, lick it.
Rigby: I'm not gonna lick it, you lick it!
Mordecai: Dude, just lick it!
Rigby: I put the teeth in my mouth, you lick it!
Mordecai: Ugh, fine!
(Mordecai shoves Rigby into the door and picks up the suction cup)
Rigby: Hmph, hmph!
(Mordecai opens his beak wide and licks the suction cup)
Mordecai: Sick, tastes like a CPR practice dummy.
(Mordecai sticks the suction cup onto the door. The suction cup ejects a cutter tool, which calves a hole in the door around itself, allowing Mordecai and Rigby to open the door from the inside. They do so, and enter Langer's penthouse. Inside is a giant diorama of the solar system's planets, as well as a polar bear rug, surrounding by mutliple tables, chairs and shelves)
Mordecai & Rigby: Whoa...
Mordecai: Fancy!
(Rigby spots Benson's keys at the other end of the penthouse, on a pedestal)
Rigby: There they are!
(Mordecai and Rigby run towards the keys)
Trent: Okay, this is Langer's penthouse. Home stretch.
(The duo approach the keys)
Mordecai: Finally!
Trent: Now, I know we're excited, but this is very important. Do not, repeat, do not pick up the keys from the pedestal without further -
(Mordecai and Rigby pick up the keys)
Mordecai & Rigby: Yeah, boy!
(Trent facepalms)
Trent: Well, now you guys have gone and done it.
(The pillar lowers itself to the ground. Behind Mordecai and Rigby, the giant diorama of the Earth falls down and rolls towards them. They run with Benson's keys as they are chased by the rolling planet. Mordecai and Rigby scream as they re-enter the motion-detected corridor, but this time running, which sets off the alarm. The giant Earth follows them as they run through the laser hallway, this time touching all of the lasers on their way out, setting off another alarm. They leave the laser hallway and continue running)
Mordecai: Guys!? A little help?
Trent: Don't worry. Now, just keep running straight ahead.
(Mordecai and Rigby continue running until they cross an opened blast door, which should ideally keep the giant Earth from following them further)
Trent: Alright, now close the blast door.
(Rigby presses a big button labelled "BLAST DOOR", and the blast doors close)
Trent: Nothing's getting through that.
(The giant Earth smashes through the blast door, causing Mordecai and Rigby to run away once again)
Mordecai: I thought you said nothing could go through!
Trent: Whoops.
(The giant Earth follows them into a giant marble maze room)
Trent: Get to the other side of the room. There's a doorway that'll take you to the main entrance.
(The giant Earth chases them through the overly complex marble maze room)
Mordecai: What even is this room?
Trent: Oh, a giant marble maze room.
(Rigby trips over and drops Benson's keys)
Rigby: The keys!
(Mordecai quickly grabs the keys before they fall off the edge. They both get up and continue running)
Mordecai: Come on!
(Mordecai and Rigby jump into a large ventilation shaft, with the giant Earth following them, and continues to do so as they reach its end)
Trent: Now...jump for it!
(There is a huge gap ahead of Mordecai and Rigby towards the a ledge on the central foundation of the mini-dome, which they jump over to. Mordecai gets onto the ledge with ease, but Rigby struggles)
Mordecai: Rigby, watch out!
(Rigby quickly climbs onto the ledge at the last possible second before the giant Earth smashes into the ledge and falls down the pit below)
Rigby: Aw, yeah-yuh!
(Another alarm is set off, causing the room to light up red)
Trent: The emergency lockdown sequence has been activated! Get out of there!
(The surrounding doors all begin to close)
Rigby: We're not gonna make it!
(Mordecai turns to see two jet packs inside a glass case, reading "BREAK GLASS FOR JET PACK")
Mordecai: Yes, we are!
(Mordecai smashes the glass, and the duo both put on jetpacks)
Mordecai: Ready?
Rigby: Yeah!
Trent: Now, it's just a straight shot to the door.
Mordecai: Go!
(Mordecai and Rigby both zoom forward with their jetpacks, making it through the door to the exit at the last second before it closes. Suddenly, blocking their exit are two robotic guard dogs)
Rigby: Hey Mordecai, what's that?
Mordecai: Robotic guard dogs!? Rigby, go left!
(The duo swoop around the robotic guard dogs, who transform into jets, chasing after them in the air)
Rigby: Dude, they can fly!
(Mordecai and Rigby fly over two scientists in radiation suits, holding a tray with bottles of dangerous chemicals on top. One guard dog flies over them, as the other flies through the bottles. The guard dog's interaction with the chemicals causes it to turn green and melt into goo. Despite this, they are still being chased by the other guard dog. They're nearing the exit)
Mordecai: There's the exit!
(Mordecai and Rigby fly through the exit door, which closes instantly as they leave, causing the other guard dog to crash into it. Mordecai and Rigby land roughly on the park ground, and groan in pain)
Rigby: We got the keys...
(Back in Mordecai and Rigby's room, the scientists cheer)
Scientists: USA! USA!
(As Steffen and Rachel continue chanting, Trent and Tobias have a conversation)
Tobias: Do you think Langer knows we helped?
Trent: Pfft, no way. He's still on biceps.
(Trent and Tobias rejoin in the chanting, as Dr. Langer watches them on his phone in the gym, and laughs, while still lifting weights. Meanwhile, Mordecai and Rigby find Benson on the other side of the mini-dome, reading from his clipboard)
Mordecai & Rigby: Benson! Benson!
(Rigby gets onto his knees and passes the keys to Benson. Both he and Mordecai are out of breath)
Mordecai: We're really sorry, but we...borrowed your car without asking...and...here's your keys back.
(Benson turns red with anger)
Benson: What!? You borrowed my car!?
Mordecai: But...don't worry! It's fine!
(Benson turns to see his car completely intact)
Benson: Oh. It looks fine.
Rigby: Yeah! We just...needed to go for a lunch run!
Benson: Well, why don't you just hold onto the keys 'til the end of the day? In case you need to run any other errands.
(Benson whistles as he walks away. Mordecai and Rigby get their breaths back, as Rigby stands up with Benson's keys in his hand)
Rigby: You thinking what I'm thinking? Pizza run!
(Rigby swirls Benson's keys around his finger, once again letting go of them and causing them to smash through one of the mini-dome's windows, as a new one instantly slides down)
Mordecai: Ugh, really dude?
End of "Deez Keys"