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This page is the transcript for "Cool Bro Bots".

(Episode begins with Rigby looking at his cell phone, looking at a text saying "Trust no one". Rigby puts his phone down and notices a spaceship heading towards the park dome. The garage door to the dome opens, allowing for the ship to head inside.)

Benson: Get inside!

(The spaceship door opens and a set of steps are automatically placed down onto the floor of the Park Dome. We see smoke come out of the air and three shadows which look like robots appear. Every park member runs into Pops' house.)

Benson: Hurry!

(Benson slams the door shut along with a chair, two cabinets and a shelf barricading the door)

Pops: Do you think they saw us?

(Benson puts his finger on Pops's lips)

Benson: Sssshhh...

(Pops starts panicking and breathing heavily after he hears a knock on the door. Benson puts his palm on Pop's mouth in order to prevent him from blurting out something. A whirring noise of a weapon can be heard, which destroys the front barricaded entrance. The Park Gang screams after the robots make their way into Pop's House.)

Leader Bro Bot: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry. We didn't know anyone was in here.

Mordecai: Please don't kill us.

Leader Bro Bot: I'm afraid we'll have to kill you... with kindness!

(Everyone except Skips questions themselves)'

Leader Bro Bot: Yes. We are Brocyclian helper bots. We are programmed to assist others in need. I am R-656. This is R-657, 8, and 9.

R-659: Yeah. We can't wait to help you.

R-656 (Leader): We saw you on our radar and thought you might need help.

Benson: Huddle!

(The group huddle together in a circle)

Mordecai: I don't know about these guys.

Rigby: We shouldn't trust them.

Benson: Guys, we're drifting in space. They could be our only chance.

Pops: They could be our only chance.

Rigby: How do we know if they're actually going to help us?

Skips: We could just ask them.

Rigby: Well, who's gonna ask?

(Everyone remains silent whilst they're eyes remain fixated at Benson)

Benson: Ah! Fine.

(The gang release themselves from the huddle and turn to face the Bro Bots)

Benson: Bro bots, can you help us get back to Earth?

R-656: Yes, let us show you.

(Scene cuts to the gang and the Bro Bots at a fuel station)

Skips: Huh. I can't believe I never noticed this before.

R-656: The organic fuel synthesizer takes all natural resources from your park and converts them into fuel for your dome. Observe.

(R-656 grabs a handful of leaves and puts them into the Organic Fuel Synthesizer. Whilst the machine processes the handful of leaves, we cut to the machine's screen showing that the fuel meters are increasing.)

R-656: Once the meter reaches full capacity, you will have just enough power to get you back to Earth.

Benson: Wow. You hear that, guys? Manual labour is gonna save our lives. Everybody grab a Bro Bot and get to work.

(Everyone except Mordecai and Rigby grab a Bro Bot and leave. Mordecai and Rigby notice two Bro Bots walking off, high-fiving each other and chuckling.)

Mordecai: Dude, there's something shady about those guys.

Rigby: Let's follow them.

(We cut to a musical montage where Mordecai and Rigby are spying on the Bro Bots. We first see Eileen picking up yard waste. Mordecai and Rigby peer through the bushes and find a Bro Bot heading towards Eileen holding a piece of string. Mordecai and Rigby gasp as we cut to the Reaper Bot heading towards Eileen with the string and then we cut to him tying the rubbish bag for Eileen. This pleases her. Mordecai and Rigby still seem suspicious and move back into the bushes. The scene then cuts to Muscle Man moving the lawn, with the duo watching him while hiding behind a tree. We cut to him stopping the lawn mover and sitting down to take a rest break. Whilst sitting down, a shadow of a Bro Bot holding something. Mordecai and Rigby interpret that the reaper bot is going to attack Muscle Man but that isn't the case. Turns out, the Bro Bot is actually holding a drumstick. The Bro Bot gives Muscle Man the drumstick. Mordecai and Rigby look confused as to what is going on while Muscle Man eats his drumstick, smiling. The Bro Bot returns holding another item in his hand. Both Mordecai and Rigby are shocked as they interpret that he is going to attack Muscle Man. However, they were wrong again as they find out that the Bro Bot is holding a napkin. After the reaper bot ties the napkin around Muscle Man's neck, we cut to Mordecai and Rigby watching in the distance and then to a sleepy Pops. The scene cuts to a Bro Bot approaching with a pillow, then to Mordecai and Rigby gasping in shock as they think he is going to smother Pop's face with a pillow. Turns out, the Bro Bot actually doesn't smother Pop's face, rather, he puts his pillow second pillow underneath the first one. Pops wakes up to find the Bro Bot next to him, but quickly goes back to sleep after the Bro Bot makes a shushing gesture and kisses him. Pops goes back to sleep, with the duo standing nearby speechless. After the montage ends, we cut to Mordecai leaning against a tree and Rigby standing near him.)

Mordecai: Dude, maybe we're wrong about these guys. They actually seem pretty nice.

Rigby: Yeah, too nice. They did say they were gonna kill us with kindness. Killing is killing, dude.

Mordecai: You're being paranoid.

Rigby: Don't call me paranoid. It makes me paranoid.

Mordecai: Shh, shh. Wait.

(Mordecai watches a Bro Bot heading towards the Organic Fuel Synthesizer to put some yard waste in the machine. However, the Bro Bot looks around to make sure nobody's there and leaves with the two bags.)

Rigby: Aha! Aha! What did I tell you?

Mordecai: Hmm-hmm. Let's follow him.

(The scene cuts to the Bro Bot heading towards the Bro Bot ship. Upon arriving. A robot scans him to see if he is not an intruder.)

Robot Scanner: Access Granted.

(The door to the ship opens. After the door is opened, the bro bot heads inside the spaceship. The scene pans to Mordecai and Rigby looking from a distance hiding behind a bush.)

Mordecai: Dude, we gotta get in there.

Rigby: But how? We're not robots.

Mordecai: Hmm...

(We cut to Mordecai and Rigby walking like robots and covered completely in tin foil excluding some parts of their bodies such as their faces. Upon walking up the ramp of the ship, they come face to face with the robot scanner. The scanner detects to see if they are actually not robots. To avoid being caught. Mordecai and Rigby start saying binary numbers (0,1,1,0,1,1). The robot looks at the two.)

Robot Scanner: Access granted.

(The door to the ship opens.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Zer-OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!

(The duo enter the Bro Bot ship. The door closes behind them upon entering. They walk around the hall for a while before they come across a room where the Reaper Bot the duo followed is inside.)

Computer: State your bounty Reaper Bot R-659.

Mordecai: Reaper Bot?!

R-659: Computer, deposit ready.

Computer: Please place organic materials in containment unit.

(R-659 walks up towards the containment unit and places the deposited leaves in the machine. We cut to the computer accepting the deposit)

Computer: Deposit accepted. Value on robot black market - 2,000 Credits.

(Containment unit vacuums the deposited leaves)

R-659: Oh, yeah. Stealing from others. What us reaper bots do best. I can't believe they actually think we're helping them.

(R-659 chuckles robotically as he leaves the room. The scene cuts to Mordecai and Rigby peeking behind a pot plant.)

Rigby: Those liars! They had us right from the start.

Mordecai: Look at all this stuff.

(The duo walk around the room full of plants.)

Mordecai: They must be harvesting plants from all over the galaxy.

(The scene cuts to Rigby pointing at a plant)

Rigby: This one's craz-o.

(Rigby touches the plant. Upon touching it, the plant turns black and starts rotting. The scene cuts to Mordecai at the computer.)

Mordecai: Dude, come. You might wanna look at this.

(Rigby walks up to where Mordecai is at and looks at a sheet of paper that contains the park dome and red X's on the park worker's faces. The scene zoom cuts towards Benson with the red x on his face. We then cut back to the park where the park workers are.)

Benson: Reaper Bots? Really?

Mordecai: It's true! They're stealing all out plants and harvesting them for their own.

Rigby: We saw it ourselves.

Benson: That's ridiculous. They're the best thing to happen to us since we left Earth.

Skips: They're the only thing that's ever happened to us.

(Reaper Bots head over to the the park crew with one of the the bots holding a lemonade jug and another holding a cup.)

R-656: Hello friends. You look parched. We converted this terrible sour fruit into a sweet and refreshing drink especially for you.

(After one of the reaper bots pours a jug of lemonade, the refreshing drink, into a cup, R-656 walks up to give the glass of lemonade to HFG. HFG floats towards R-656)

HFG: Lemonade, my favorite.

Rigby: No!

(Rigby jumps and smashes the glass of lemonade onto the paved ground.)

Rigby: We're not buying it, Robots!

(We cut to a close-up shot of Rigby looking up at the Reaper Bots in anger, later pointing to them)

Rigby: Or should I say Reaper Bots!

(We cut to Mordecai running up to Rigby to confront the Reaper Bots and HFG floating back to rest of the park crew.

Mordecai: We found your evil plan. See.

(Mordecai pulls out the Park Dome sheet from earlier. After cutting to a close up of the sheet once again, the Reaper Bots try to get back into the good books by lying about the sheet.)

R-656: Yes, our plan for helping you.

Mordecai: But you drew X's over out faces.

R-656: Yes, the X's help to remind us who to help. X marks the spot - for helping.

Mordecai: A likely story...

(Mordecai pulls out his cell phone)

Mordecai: ... for a liar!

(The scene cuts to a close up of the cell phone screen with the capitalized words "TRUST NO ONE" presented on the screen.)

Mordecai: Someone tried to warn us about you.

R-656: Oh, that's just an advertisement. Read the whole text.

Mordecai: Huh?

(Rigby heads up to Mordecai to see the text. The read the text aloud for everyone around them the hear.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Trust no one.

(Mordecai scrolls down to read the rest of the text.)

M and R: Who says their pizza is better than Papa Quasars.

(The duo look up together in confusion.)

M and R: Whaaaaaaa?

(One of the reaper bots from earlier, R-659, heads towards the rest of the reaper bots with a box of pizza.)

R-659: Hello, earthlings. I brought this hot disk of flower and cheese for you.

(We cut to a close of the pizza box, with a large Papa Quasars logo differing from the text, along with a character quoting "That's not a moon. That's a pizza pie".)

Benson: See? Pizza. Are you guys satisfied now?

Rigby: Pizza is the oldest trick in the book.

Mordecai: Yeah.

Rigby: We still think you robots should leave.

R-659: Wow. As a robot who can't feel human emotions, I must say, that hurt.

HFG: Who says no to fresh pizza?

Muscle Man: Not cool, bros.

Eileen: Why are you guys being so mean to them?

(The rest of the park crew argue in unison.)

R-656: I am detecting mass tension.

R-659: I guess we'll have to fins some other beings to enjoy our pizza with.

(The four robots turn around and leave the park crew behind. Before they leave, Benson runs up to them as he has something to say.)

Benson: Don't go.

(The robots turn around as they watch Benson begging on his knees.)

Benson: Don't listen to those bozos. They were just about to leave.

Mordecai: But -

Benson: Just get inside. Now!

(Mordecai and Rigby leave and head up the stairs. They turn around after they hear the sound of a spacecraft landing. They see two humans and a robot pointing towards the robots.)

Man with gun: Stop!

(The man in the suit shoots one of the Reaper Bots, but misses.)

Reaper bot: Hey, you almost hit him. How rude.

Man with gun: Uh, yeah. I uh - meant to do that.

Benson: Who are you people?

Man with gun/Chance Sureshot: I don't know.

Skips: You don't know who you are?

Man with gun: Oh, I do. There's just no time to explain.

Recap Robot: These robots are harvesting your natural resources as we speak.

Toothpick Sally: You filthy metalheads only help others to help yourself.

R-659" Nuh-uh. Our motives are genuine. How can you trust these people. They could be space pirates.

Chance Sureshot: Say that to my gun, you Reaper scum.

R-656: Park friends, think of all the nice things we've done for you today. Does that not mean anything to you?

(The park crew, the new guys and the reaper bots exchange glances with each other.)

Pops: Well, this is certainly a pickle. I'm not sure who we can trust.

Skips:I put my money on the new guys. Look.

(The guys look up to see a lumberjack robot chopping down trees with his trusty axe. A robotic bull arrives and saws through the log with its blades. The lumberjack robot heads towards the ship with the log.)

Muscle Man: What is that thing, brobots?

R-656: Oh, that's uh... oh, who are we kidding? Reaper-bots, attack!

(The reaperbots start firing their guns at the park crew, leaving the crew with no choice but to run into the bushes.)

Chance: Here, arm yourselves. Unh.

(Chance throws some space blasters at Pops, Skips and Benson as well as Eileen. The robots continue firing at the crew until Toothpick Sally shoots one of the bro-bots. The crew stop firing and turn around to see the lumberjack and bull robots getting ready to attack.)

Toothpick Sally: Hey, baby blue. You want some more? Come get it.

(The bull huffs in aggression and chases after Toothpick Sally and the robot. Sally and the robot start shooting the bull but are forced to stop as it saws through the grass. The two are able to dodge the bull as we later see Toothpick Sally lying on the ground.)

Sally: We're gonna need more fire power.

Recap Robot: Loud and clear.

(Sally places her blaster onto Recap and start shooting. The bull charges towards the duo but to no avail as he is later shot in the face.)

Reaper Bot: We need backup. I repeat, we need backup -

(One of the bull's blades crashes into the ship, destroying it in the process. The scene cuts to the crew fighting the lumberjack robot. Mordecai, Rigby and Sureshot are almost crushed by a tree and Pops, Skips and Benson escape death by jumping away from the lumberjack's axe. He then pulls out his saw and chops down a tree. We then cut to remaining two reaper bots hiding behind a tree stump. After one of the robots is shot, the other robots runs for his life before he is shot by Muscle Man.)

Muscle Man: Hole in one.

(We then cut to the park crew shooting at the lumberjack whilst taking cover behind a tree lying on the ground. The crew keep shooting the lumberjack but to no avail as he just stands there laughing, not taking any damage whatsoever.)

Mordecai: It's not working.

(Rigby throws his gun on the ground in anger and kicks it. The gun starts to vibrate and then shoots the lumberjack's beard.)

Mordecai: Dude, you found his weak spot.

Sally and Skips: Aim for the beard.

(The crew start shooting at the beard.)

Mordecai: I hate to bust your chops but logging season is over.

(Mordecai shoots the lumberjack's beard, making it explode in the process.)

Chance: Looks like we lumberjacked him up.

(Sally laughs)

Sally: Not bad.

(The lumberjack robot falls to the ground, with the robot landing face flat onto the tree. The park crew watch the robot explode from afar.)

Skips: Wow, those robots really had us fooled.

Benson: It's like my father always told me - If someone's being nice to you, they probably have ulterior motives. Sorry we didn't believe you guys.

Mordecai: It's okay, Benson.

Rigby: Yeah, no hard feelings. Not everyone's as smart as we is.

Chance Sureshot: Let's go to the control room. We got to get out of here.

Benson: Control room?

(The gang make their way to Pop's bedroom.)

Rigby: This is just Pops' room.

(Chance Sureshot heads up to Pop's record player.)

Chance Sureshot: Is it?

(After Chance winds the record player, the room starts shaking, and eventually transforms into a control room.)

Benson: Are you taking us back to Earth?

Chance Sureshot: Nah. We've got other plans.

(The dome turns around slightly and then zooms off into the distance.)

(End of Cool Bro Bots)