Regular Show Wiki

Please be aware that this wiki is currently under major maintenance. Not all articles have been formatted correctly and some information may be inaccurate. Please read ahead with caution. If you are here to edit, please ensure that you read through our policies and manual of style before making any changes to the wiki.

READ MORE

Regular Show Wiki
OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
This page is the transcript for "Can You Ear Me Now?".


(Episode begins with the dome-sealed Park going through space.)

Mordecai: What an awesome trip to the Summertime Planet.

Rigby: Yeah, I've been dying to get one of these Uber soakers. (The duo squirt each other with the Uber Soakers) What's next?

Recap Robot: We're going to run some errands.

Mordecai and Rigby: Errands!

(The spaceship lands on a dome platform. The scene cuts to Mordecai, Rigby, Chance Shureshot, Toothpick Sally and Recap Robot walking in the dome on a path)

Recap Robot: Welcome to Planet Lobius, everyone.

Toothpick Sally: What are we here for exactly?

Recap Robot: I need to pick up a roll on film that I had developed.

Chance Sureshot: Why did you come here to get it developed?

Recap Robot: They're the only planet that still does it.

(Sally, Sureshot and Recap turn their heads around to see Mordecai and Rigby playing with their Uber Soakers next to a tree. Rigby squirts first with Mordecai dodging the water. Rigby hides behind a tree and when he turns around he is squirted by Mordecai.)

Mordecai: Wooooah!

Recap Robot: Hey, you know how you just said "Oooooh!" really loud?

Rigby: Yeah?

Recap Robot: Well, never say that on this Planet. These people are very sensitive to sound. So be respectful and please keep it down.

Mordecai: No problem.

Rigby: Easy enough.

(The five walk out of the dome. During that time Mordecai and Rigby look up by saying Woah. They see a group of ears, a couple holding hands and walking, another wearing a hat and reading the newspaper along with another person standing next to a building wearing a dress, much to the duo's astonishment. The gang keep walking and see a man at his house looking at his chimes.)

Lobian #1: I can't stand these chimes. (removes the chimes off the top of his house and walks away)

(The duo notice an ear opening a bag of chips sitting on a bench next to another person on his phone. The ear opens the bag of chips and before he eats him, the lady interrupts him)

Lobian #2: Do you mind?

Lobian #3: Oh, sorry m'am.

(An ear is walking a dog shaped like an ear. When a bird chirps and flies by, the ear dog reacts by barking.)

Lobian #4: Oh no, Rufus! That is too much!

(The ear places a chew toy in Rufus's mouth before he whimpers. The scene cuts to a mall called RX. We transition to Shuteshot, Sally, Mordecai, Rigby, and Recap Robot entering the mall via an automatic screen door)

Recap Robot: I'll be done in a jiffy. (moves away)

Chance Sureshot: I'm gonna see what they've got for hair gel.

Toothpick Sally: I wonder if they've got cinnamon toothpicks.

(Both Sureshot and Sally walk away together to find what they need. Meanwhile, Mordecai and Rigby look at each other and continue squirting their Uber Soakers. After Mordecai squirts his in Rigby's face, Rigby gets aggressive and fires back at him but unintentionally squirts a large cotton bud next to a sign saying Sale 50% off. The cotton on the bud absorbs the water, knocks down a large light, much to the horror of the Ears at the mall. The light knocks down a shelf of cell phones, causing them to vibrate and get electrocuted by the fallen and wet cotton bud in the process. Smoke is later absorbed into the fire alarm and starts blaring. Whilst the ears react in agony, the glass protecting the inside of the mall cracks and shatters. Recap Robot returns with Sally and Sureshot.)

Recap Robot: What's going on?

Mordecai: Uh... we should probably leave.

(Before the duo leave the premises, a pair of ear guards arrest the duo.)

Lobian Police Officer: You're under arrest.

Rigby: On what charge?

Lobian Police Officer: Making a ruckus.

(The scene cuts to Lobius Courthouse)

Benson: Typical. They would do something like this.

Skips: Hey, innocent until proven guilty.

Benson: Oh, you know they did it.

Skips: Oh yeah.

Muscle Man: (Looks at an image of an ear with the words The Auricle engraved on the frame of the picture.) Who's the old lobe?

Recap Robot: That's The Auricle. The oldest most respected ear on Lobius.

Eileen: Shouldn't they call him the Earicle? It really seems like a missed opportunity.

Lobian Judge: Order, order in the court. Prosecution will now give its opening remarks.

Lobian Prosecutor: Thank you, your honor. Ladies and Gentle-ears of the jury. We are here to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Mordecai and Rigby intentionally caused a ruckus, and should be punished seve-ear-ly.

(Ears chattering and chuckling in the distance. The prosecutor smiles at their responses.)

Lobian Prosecutor: Thank you.

Lobian Judge: Public defendear, how do you plead?

Lobian Defendant: Uh... Not guilty.

Lobian Judge: Alright. Prosecute ear, call your first witness.

Lobian Prosecutor: Gladly, your honor. I call Mordecai to the stand.

(Cuts to Mordecai on stand, with the Police Officer holding a gold statue of the Auricle stand.)

Lobian Police Officer: Place your hand on the Auricle if you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Mordecai: (places hand on the Auricle Stand) I swear.

(The officer walks away with the gold stand in hand.)

Lobian Prosecutor: (walks to the stand) Mordecai, would you be so kind as to tell these folks what transpired earlier today? You know, when you and your friend made that horrible noise downtown?

Mordecai: We can explain.

Lobian Prosecutor: I'm one hundred percent ready to listen.

Eileen: He really should have said "I'm all ears!" It's right there!

Mordecai: So, Rigby and I just got these cool new Uber Soakers. Rigby tried to squirt me but he missed and it was all just a big accident, okay?

Lobian Prosecutor: Oh! An "accident?" Why don't you tell that to poor little Jesse down in the ICU!

(He pulls a picture of Jessie wrapped in bandages on a bed. All the ears gasp in shock after seeing the image.)

Lobian Prosecutor: Jesse has already been hit by a car but that loud noise interrupted his favorite show. Very tragic. No more questions.

Rigby: (looking at the Defendant Ear) You gotta help us man! We're dying out there!

Lobian Defendant: Don't worry. All I gotta do is present these records that prove that you were nowhere near that phone booth.

Rigby: Our case doesn't have anything to do with a phone booth!

Lobian Defendant: Wait, is this Room 17?

Rigby: NO, IT'S NOT!

Lobian Prosecutor: I now call Rigby to the stand.

(Scene cuts to Rigby at the stand.)

Lobian Prosecutor: So, what would you say happened, Mr. Rigby?

Rigby: Like Mordecai said: Uber Soaker, accident, loud noise, boom!

(Ears gasp)

Lobian Judge: Watch your volume son, or I'll hold you in contempt.

Mordecai: Aw, geez. Come on, can't you do something?

Lobian Defendant: Uh, uh.. I'd like to call for a recess, your honor!

Lobian Judge: Make it quick.

(The scene cuts to a room with a bookshelf and ear paintings. The Defendant is in the room alongside Mordecai and Rigby, walking around and feeling nervous.)

Lobian Defendant: What we need is uh... OH! Character witnesses! You know, people who would testify that you would never make a loud noise on purpose! Say that you are not troublemakers, that sort of thing?

Mordecai: ...I think our friends can do that.

Rigby: Yeah! If there's anybody we can count on, it's our friends.

(Scene cuts back to the Courtroom. Lobian Defendant starts talking to Benson)

Lobian Defendant: So, Benson. You are Mordecai and Rigby's boss?

Benson: Yes.

Lobian Defendant: No more questions, your honor.

(He returns to his seat. However, Mordecai and Rigby are appalled.)

Mordecai: Wh...What was that?

Lobian Defendant: I'm just getting them warmed up.

Lobian Prosecutor: Sooo, Mr. Benson. Mordecai and Rigby would never sayyy... (He takes his glasses off to clean them with a kerchief, then puts them back on) ...ooh, make a loud noise like today on purpose?

(Benson starts reflecting back on what the two really have done. He sweats anxiously as the voices of them echoed in his head.)

Mordecai & Rigby:

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!"

"USA! USA! USA!"

(He gives a response.)

Benson: Nope.

Lobian Prosecutor: Hm, I see. And what is your job?

Benson: I'm a... park manager.

Lobian Prosecutor: Ah. Park manager, park manager... Done that all your life, have ya?

Benson: Uhhh... no, sir.

Lobian Prosecutor: Hmm, what was your job before that?

Benson: Well, I don't mean to brag, but; I was a professional drummer.

(Ears gasping and chattering, hearing the awful and peculiar words that Benson had just spoken.)

Lobian Prosecutor: We are suppose to take the word of a DRUMMER? A man of the FORBIDDEN INSTRUMENT?! He knows nothing of peace and quiet, and therefore I move to throw out his testimony!

Lobian Judge: Let it be stricken from the record.

(Mordecai and Rigby look at each other, worried about what is going to happen. Scene cuts to Eileen, who is called to the stand. She winks at Rigby, hopefully to defend him and prove him innocent.)

Rigby: (Clenches his fists, hopeful for her.) Eileen, don't fail me now!

Lobian Defendant: Miss- uh, Miss Roberts, uh... How do you know the defendant Rigby?

Eileen: We're dating.

Lobian Defendant: Ah, really? I knew it! This whole time I've been like, "Are they-"

(The judge hits the court gavel to give his attention. He clears his throat, his expression stern and impatient. The defendant then thinks of what he wants to say.)

Lobian Defendant: In your opinion, would Rigby intentionally make a loud noise?

Eileen: Oh no! Rigby might make mistakes from time to time, but who doesn't? Like, sometimes he talks when my shows are on... But, he always whispers, and it's usually just to ask how my day was.

(The ears awes in delight, hearing how heartwarming her wording is.)

Lobian Ear #4: Oh, aren't they just the cutest?

Lobian Defendant: Let the record show that this is adorable. No further questions.

(The Lobian Defendant walks back to his seat. The Lobian Prosecutor walks over to Eileen to also ask and question her too.)

Lobian Prosecutor: Boy, that Rigby sounds like a heck of a guy. Would you say he’s a calm person?

Eileen: (Chuckles nervously) Uh, yes.

Lobian Prosecutor: But how's he express himself when he’s not calm? (He clenches his fists and shakes them as a gesture.) When he’s all riled up?

Eileen: Uh, well. He says.. umm… it’s really funny. He says ‘Stop talking’.

Lobian Prosecutor: Hmm, he says it just like that, does he?

(Eileen becomes anxious, her voice pitching trying to make sense of her defense.)

Eileen: I mean, more in his voice!

Lobian Prosecutor: How would that voice sound, Miss Roberts? In his voice?

Eileen: It would…

(Eileen looks towards Mordecai and Rigby, who both shake their heads, warning her not to shout.)

Eileen: …sound like-

Lobian Prosecutor: Go on, Miss Roberts.

Eileen: I don’t know.

(The prosecutor crosses his arms, awaiting a response.)

Lobian Prosecutor: I think you do, Miss Roberts.

(Eileen begins stammering and starts tugging on her shirt and sweating, becoming more and more nervous.)

Lobian Prosecutor: We don’t have all day.

Eileen: I...

Lobian Prosecutor: How does he say it?

Eileen:' (loudly) STOP TALKING!!!

(The ears in the jury box all gasp in shock at her sudden outburst. One in the bottom middle shakes shockingly at her response. Eileen just hangs her head in shame, not wanting to respond.)

Lobian Prosecutor: Mmm. No more questions.

(Cuts to the Lobian Prosecutor, who sits in the attorney table, hands against the table.)

Lobian Prosecutor: Your honor, I would like to call a serious of incriminating witnesses to the stand.

(The Lobian Defendant, Mordecai, and Rigby glanced at each other again, fearing this will be bad.)

Mordecai: Who else are they gonna call?

(Cuts to Dominic on stand, reflecting on what happened in Fuzzy Dice and Steak Me Amadeus.)

Dominic: Mordecai and Rigby? They got me caught in one of the loudest shootouts I've ever heard!

(Cuts to the Geese on stand.)

Geese: They cut the moon in twain! Never heard such a terrible thing in all my life!

(Cuts to Garrett Bobby Ferguson on stand.)

Garrett Bobby Ferguson: Do you know what it sounds like to hear yourself explode? TWICE?!

(Cuts to Lobian Judge, who decides on his decision on what he has heard.)

Lobian Judge: I've heard enough. We will now have the jury deliberate.

(Mordecai and Rigby do not like the sounds of it.)

Mordecai: I really feel like that did not go over well.

Lobian Defendant: No way! That "Eileen and Rigby" thing killed! There's no way they'll find you-

(He is cut off by the ears in the jury box)

Lobian Ear #5: -Guilty! We find the defendants guilty!

Lobian Defendant: D'oh! Okay, okay okay! Don't worry! They'll, probably just give you a slap on the wrist! Judge me, look tough, but it's been decades since anyone's been sentenced to-

(He's once again cut off by the Lobian Judge, who has made the final decision and punishment for Mordecai and Rigby. He hits his gavel on the pillow to prevent the loud noise.)

Lobian Judge: -Life in prison! The penalty for your crimes is life in prison!

(Both Lobian Ear Guards come in and take in the duo, putting their hands on their hands.)

Rigby: What happened to "a slap on the wrist?"

Lobian Police Officer: We don't have wrists. We're all ears.

(Eileen stands up to point one.)

Eileen: There it is!

(The Lobian Defendant looks through the Law Ear book, thinking of a solution to save Mordecai and Rigby from being imprisoned.)

Lobian Defendant: It says here, we're allowed a leniency thingy! You know, with the Auricle!

(The jury ears chatter and gasp at his response.)

Lobian Judge: Seriously? We're gonna go all the way out to the Auricle's house for this?

Lobian Defendant: It's the law!

(Cuts to the front view of the Auricle Residence. Scene cuts to the Auricle in a room, who is seen lounging on his rocking chair, a foghorn that is right beside him in hopes to hear what someone is trying to say due to his hearing problem.)

Auricle: I feel terrible. Calyx is achy, and someone keeps messing with the thermostat!

(A nurse ear walks into the room, holding a tray of the Auricle's medicine, along with a glass of water.)

Nurse Ear: Why don't you take your medicine?

Auricle: I hate that show.

Nurse Ear: No, I said "take your medicine!"

Auricle: I don't like that show either!

(The nurse ear puts her hand against her "forehead," before a knock on the door is heard. The Lobian Ear Police Guards enter with Mordecai and Rigby beside them. Skips follows behind them.)

Nurse Ear: Oh, I think some people are here for a pardon. Won't that be some fun?

Auricle: Ahhh, my show's not on tonight. We'll have it recorded.

(The defendant speaks to Mordecai and Rigby, knowing this is their chance.)

Lobian Defendant: Okay guys, proach the Auricle.

(Mordecai and Rigby walks up to the Auricle, with the others behind them.)

Mordecai: Sir, my name's Mordecai, and this is my friend Rigby. And we were just sentenced to life in prison for making a really loud noise.

Rigby: We were just here for a quick stop!

Mordecai: And it was all an accident! We didn't mean to cause any trouble!

Rigby: And well, (His voice pitches up) could you forgive us please?

Auricle: I've heard a lot of crazy things in my time, but I did not hear a lick of that. You're going to have to speak up!

(Rigby tries to speak a bit louder.)

Rigby: Um, so Mordecai and I-

Auricle: Closer! I won't bite ya!

(Rigby raises his volume up a bit high just to get his attention, walking up to the Auricle.)

Rigby: Mordecai and I...!

(Rigby then accidentally trips on the Auricle's foot, landing on him and causing him to fall, hence knocking down the foghorn used for his hearing. The others in the back gasped in shock at what just happened.)

Rigby: I'm sorry!

(The Auricle then moves his hand away from Rigby, now infuriated.)

Auricle: THE AUDACITY! First, you barge in here screaming at the top of your lungs and then YOU ASSAULT ME?!

Rigby: It was an accident!

Mordecai: Please!

(The nurse ear tries to help pick him up from the floor while other Lobian Ear Guards stand behind Mordecai and Rigby.)

Auricle: No pardon! I find these two beyond a reasonable doubt, guilty as shin for assaulting the Auricle! TAKE THEM AWAY!

Mordecai: NO!

(Both Mordecai and Rigby start running as the guards chase after the two to arrest them.)

Eileen: Rigby!

Rigby: Eileen! The Uber-Soakers!

(Eileen then throws the bag labeled as "Evidence" that's contained with the Uber-Soakers over to Rigby. He catches it and pulls out one of the two Uber Soakers, and then throws the empty bag with other stuff onto the guards. They continued chasing them. Mordecai and Rigby neared the glass window and Rigby sprays onto the floor to make the guards slip as they slipped and skidded on the wet floor. The duo both continue running back to the others. Rigby cocks the pistol of water to the two guards, seemingly like as if he's going to shoot if one steps a foot near them.)

Lobian Ear Guard #1: (Mocking) Easy man, what is that? Some kind of dangerous weapon?

Rigby: It is absolutely a dangerous weapon! This has all been one crazy misunderstanding. Now you're gonna let us go before-

(Before Rigby even had time to finish his sentence, the door automatically opens to reveal two other Lobian Ear Guards to put them arrest. However, Rigby squirts his Uber Soaker after he and Mordecai are grabbed by the two guards. In slow motion, the squirt of water passes the Nurse Ear as she looks fearfully on what it's aiming at. The squirt then hits the Auricle as he yells before falling to the ground. Mordecai and Rigby gasped, with the guards looking at them with anger. The Nurse Ear rushes over to the Auricle.)

Nurse Ear: Auricle!

(She then gasps as the Auricle moves himself from the floor to face upward.)

Lobian Ear Guard #3: Somebody get him an Ear-ologist!

Auricle: I'm okay, I'm fine! I don't need an ear-ologist.

(The Ear Guard gasps.)

Lobian Ear Guard #3: You heard me?

Auricle: Yeah, yeah! I heard ya.

Nurse Ear: But your horn, is all the way over there!

(She points to him to where his horn is, sitting on the floor. The Auricle turns around to see it. Many chatter and gasp, including the two guards.)

Auricle: By lobe, I haven't heard this well since before my wood stock days! I used to talk wood in my father's lumber-mill.

Nurse Ear: But how?

Auricle: Well, I guess, uh...

(Rigby takes a look at his Uber Soaker, realizing that it had just fixed the issue with the Auricle's hearing.)

Rigby: Uber Soaker!

Auricle: (Points over to Rigby) This man right here must've fleshed out my gutty works when he shot me with his water pistol! Now I'm the Auricle and I knew that. Boys, I'm gonna let you go.

(The two guards behind the duo releases them, with Mordecai and Rigby celebrating they're not arrested.)

Auricle: However, I'm gonna need to take your water pistols, heh. These works get gutty real quick.

Rigby: No way!

Benson: Leave it!

Rigby: But-

Everyone: LEAVE IT!

Rigby: Fine. Here, take it.

(Rigby hands his Uber Soaker over to the Auricle.)

Auricle: Hehe. Thank you kindly, child.

(Scene cuts to the dome-sealed Park which is ready to take off. The ears all put on their earmuffs so they won't be able to suffer the obnoxious blast off noise occurring. Shureshot gets the dome to takeoff as the whole dome departs from Planet Lobius. Scene then shows from the inside.)

Rigby: Well, that was pretty crazy. Bet Recap got that film developed though. Hope it was worth it.

(Recap Robot takes out the envelope that holds all the pictures. There is only one that he sees himself, while the others are just completely black, realizing that it was an error.)

Recap Robot: Hehe, yep! Totally worth it.

End of Can You Ear Me Now?