| OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! |
(In the Park at the house, a "farewell party" is being hosted, with Rigby appearing as the guest of honor. In attendance are Mordecai, Benson, Pops, Skips, Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost and Eileen)
Everyone: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
Rigby: (clears throat) Thanks for coming, guys. As you all know, this is a big day for me. I've been here at the park for a long time now. I've spent a good chunk of my life up in that room, but it's time for a change.
(Mordecai, Skips and Benson all look at each other in shock)
Rigby: You don't grow by standing still. I've decided it's time to say goodbye...
(Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost, Eileen and Pops' jaws drop in shock)
Rigby: ...to Trampy. The trampoline that I sleep on.
(Rigby signals his arm towards Trampy, which has a picture of Rigby on top of it, with a bouquet of flowers and three balloons reading "Good Bye!", "Happy Retirement!" and "So Long!". Everybody but Rigby applauds Trampy)
Rigby: I just had to say "Rigby, you're a man now! It's time for a change!"
(Rigby pulls out a newspaper)
Rigby: Also, I won a sweet new bed in the 82nd annual "Hotdog Horf" this weekend.
(The newspaper has a picture of Rigby shoving two hotdogs into his mouth, with the headline "LOCAL MAN DEBASES SELF, WINS BED", with subheading "82nd Annual "Hotdog Horf" Fiasco". The picture of Rigby has the caption "A grotesque display" says onlooker")
Pops: What will become of old Trampy?
Rigby: I'm gonna send her off in style!
(The group all gather at the back of the house, by the dumpster. Everybody stands opposite Rigby and Trampy)
Rigby: Does anyone wanna say a few words?
Skips: Can we wrap this up? There's a lot of pipes in the park that need snaking.
Rigby: Right. Sure.
(Rigby steps onto Trampy and takes a deep breath. He cracks his knuckles and jumps on Trampy, performing a backflip and a somersault. Everybody watches in amazement)
Everyone: Whoa...
(Rigby performs one final somersault, landing on the ground instead of trampy)
Rigby: In style!
(Everyone mutters in amazement)
Mordecai: Did you-? Did he-?
(Everybody applauds Rigby, as he waves back at them. Rigby looks down at Trampy, then looks into the dumpster, with everyone gathering next to him)
Mordecai: You ready?
Rigby: As I'll ever be.
(Mordecai and Rigby pick up the trampoline and throw it into the dumpster)
Rigby: Farewell, old friend.
(Rigby looks at Trampy sitting in the dumpster, surrounded by trash and flies. He begins to tear up, as he closes the dumpster. Later in the night, Rigby is puffing up the pillow on his new bed, before getting under the covers and relaxing)
Rigby: Ahh...new beginnings, right Mordecai?
(The bed is revealed to be around five times as big as Mordecai's bed, taking up almost all the space in their room)
Rigby: Sorry the bed's so big.
Mordecai: It's cool. At least it smells better than Trampy. Night, dude.
(Mordecai rolls over to go to sleep)
Rigby: Good night...
(Rigby yawns and rolls onto his side to go to sleep. After a couple of seconds, he opens his eyes)
Rigby: Hm, didn't really take.
(Rigby yawns again and attempts the same position again. Frustrated, he opens his eyes again)
Rigby: Huh.
(Rigby rolls onto his back)
Rigby: No...
(Rigby groans as he grabs his pillow and puts it over his face. A couple seconds later, Rigby fidgets and throws the pillow off his face, before rolling over to the other end of the bed. He then flips himself forwards to sleep on his face. He then scrambles his head around the bed, before pulling it over the bedside)
Rigby: Can't...get...comfortable.
(Rigby lays back onto the pillow with his eyes wide open)
Rigby: Don't panic, Rigby. It's just a new experience. You'll get used to it.
(Hours later. The sun is rising through the window, and Rigby is still awake)
Rigby: Trampy...I've made a huge mistake!
(Rigby hears a garbage truck beeping outside)
Rigby: Gah!
(Rigby runs out of the house to chase the truck, labelled "Used Wigs")
Rigby: Wait! Stop!
(Rigby chases the truck, with its driver notices through the side mirror)
Rigby: Stop!!
(The driver ignores him)
Garbage Man: No second chances.
(The truck speeds away, as Rigby slows down and cries)
Rigby: Trampy...no!!
(Later in the morning, Mordecai and Rigby are sat in the kitchen. Rigby is burying his head in his hands)
Rigby: (groans)
Mordecai: Dude, the garbage man probably just didn't see you.
Rigby: He saw me. I saw him see me! Mordecai, you gotta help me get it back!
Mordecai: No way.
Rigby: Oh, please!
Mordecai: No.
(Rigby climbs onto the kitchen table, begging Mordecai)
Rigby: Oh, please, please, please!
Mordecai: Uh, I don't know...
(Rigby starts to grab Mordecai, shaking him)
Rigby: Oh, please, please, please!!
Mordecai: Ugh, fine! I'll go get the cart.
(Later, Mordecai and Rigby arrive in the cart at the City Dump, where an old man dressed in a large cloak sits outside. Mordecai and Rigby approach him)
Rigby: Hi, sir. We need to go in there so I can get my trampoline back.
Old Man: Well, well...threw away something dear to you without thinking it through, did you?
Rigby: Yeah, so can we go in, or...?
Old Man: You'll find your trampoline at the very tip of Garbage Mountain in Ziggy's shack. But beware, there are many pitfalls along the way, and Ziggy does not take kindly to visitors. Find your item, and escape before sundown, or face grave consequences.
Rigby: Why sundown?
Old Man: Liability, it's a union thing.
Rigby: Fine. Just let us in. Can we just come in?
Old Man: Oh, that's not up to me. That's a job for the Gatekeeper.
(Mordecai and Rigby groan as they walk towards a large gate at the front of the dump. The Gatekeeper appears through the gate's letterbox)
Gatekeeper: Through this gate you two can go, if the answer to this riddle you know.
(Rigby notices a hole in the fence)
Rigby: Dude, look! Let's just go through that hole in the fence.
(Mordecai and Rigby walk towards the hole)
Gatekeeper: H-h-hey, hey! Don't you do that!
(Mordecai and Rigby climb through the hole)
Gatekeeper: Y-you're lucky I'm trapped in this gate!
(Mordecai and Rigby enter the dump, to find themselves travelling through a cave of garbage)
Rigby: Ugh, it smells like Muscle Man's couch cushions.
(Mordecai and Rigby leave the cave to find themselves in a labyrinth of garbage. The dump is huge)
Mordecai & Rigby: Whoa...
Mordecai: This is the hugest dump I've ever seen...
Rigby: Eh, I've seen bigger.
Mordecai: So, what do we do now?
Rigby: (sighs) We start walking.
(Mordecai and Rigby walk through the dump, shocked by how much trash is laying around)
Rigby: Sheesh, did our town make all of this?
(Mordecai and Rigby end up by a pile of broken washing machines, next to a small can of corn)
Rigby: Aw, come on!
Mordecai: What's the matter?
Rigby: (groans) We're walking in circles!
Mordecai: How can you tell?
Rigby: We've passed this stupid old can of corn five times!
(Rigby picks up the can of corn, which immediately starts talking to Rigby)
Corny: Who you calling old, you jerk!?
(Rigby gasps and drops the can of corn on the ground)
Rigby: Dude! That can just talked!
Corny: You're darn right, I did! And I don't appreciate being kicked around like garbage! I mean, I literally am garbage, but I still don't appreciate it.
Rigby: Jeez, sorry man. We're just here to get my trampoline back. I threw it out by accident.
Corny: Get it back!? I don't think you guys realize how this place works. Ziggy ain't gonna allow that.
Rigby: Huh? Who's this Ziggy guy? The king of the dump?
Corny: Yeah, and he'll mess you up! I'm gonna be straight with you guys, this place sucks! You should cut your losses and go home.
Rigby: No way! Not without Trampy! Wait, you live here, right? Couldn't you just take us to Ziggy?
Corny: Me!? W-w-whoa, there! I got, I - uh, I gotta go!
(Corny rolls away under some trash)
Corny: Good luck!
(Rigby picks up the trash which Corny rolled under, only to find that Corny is not inside)
Rigby: Fine! The only can we need is our can-do attitude!
(Rigby walks back to Mordecai)
Rigby: Come on, man. We're gonna find Trampy with or without him.
(Mordecai and Rigby continue their journey through the labyrinth-like dump. They are being watched by the garbage man who took Rigby's trampoline, and two garbage creatures, through a crystal ball)
Garbage Creature: He looks mad! What are you gonna do if he gets here?
Garbage Man: Quiet!
(The garbage man pushes the garbage creature away)
Garbage Creature: Whoa!
Garbage Man: They'll never make it past the frozen caves...
(Mordecai and Rigby approach the frozen caves, which is a cave filled with old busted TVs)
Rigby: Man, what kinda dump has caves?
(Mordecai and Rigby notice all the TVs)
Mordecai & Rigby: Whoa...
Rigby: Look at all these broken TVs.
(Suddenly, all the TVs turn on)
TV People: Broken!?
(One TV contains a British mountain climber)
Mountain Climber: We're perfectly functional, thank you!
(A trio of birds are baby nesting birds are seen on another screen)
Birds: Yeah, perfectly!
(One other TV contains a cowboy)
Cowboy: Blame our owners. They left us on too long and burned these images into us. Then they discarded us.
Mordecai: Sorry!
Rigby: We didn't mean to disturb you. I'm just trying to get to Ziggy's shack. Do you guys know how to get there? We're lost.
Mountain Climber: Of course we know the way!
(One other TV features a lion and a zebra together)
Lion: Yeah, but Ziggy'd be real mad if we told you.
Zebra: Unless, you can answer these three questions.
Rigby: (groans) Another riddle? Fine.
Lion: Question one: What kind of animal -
(The sound of a toilet flushing can be heard, as Mordecai and Rigby look over to another TV to see a man named Gary walking out of a bathroom)
Gary: Whoo! Do not go in there, everybody! (laughs) Oh, hey. What's going on?
Rigby: We're trying to get to Ziggy's shack.
Gary: Oh, sure! You just scoot through the secret tunnel in the back of the cave, then it's a hop, skip and a jump up Garbage Mountain Road. You can't miss it!
(Mordecai and Rigby smile at each other, and run off in the directions given to them by Gary. On another TV is a talking bee)
Bee: Ugh, you blew it, Gary! Come on! We've rehearsed this riddle a million times!
Gary: Jeez, grow up you guys!
(A montage begins of Mordecai and Rigby travelling through the dump. The duo scale a wall above a Brick-o Pile with narrow bricks to step on. Mordecai steps on one brick and begins to fall, luckily being grabbed by Rigby to save him from falling. Later, Mordecai and Rigby find that two small garbage monsters have hung up a bigger monster, and are poking it with sticks. The duo agree to rescue the bigger monster, and do so by shoving a bucket over the small monsters' heads and kicking them away. They check up on the big monster, who in return begins to chase them away. Later, the duo come across a devil-like creature with a cereal box for a body. The creature performs a dance for them, which ends with it pulling its head off and collapsing to the ground. This horrifies Mordecai and Rigby, and a garbage ambulance with garbage paramedics takes care of the cereal monster. Mordecai and Rigby then speak with another garbage creature, who is writing on a clipboard, and gives the duo directions to Ziggy's shack. They are finally coming close to victory, as the garbage man from earlier watches them through a telescope, while juggling some crystal balls. He groans as he throws his hat away. The montage ends as the sun begins to set, with Mordecai and Rigby exhausted, but still making their way to Ziggy's shack)
Mordecai: Dude, the sun's almost down.
Rigby: Agh, we're so close.
(Rigby points to a large gate shielding Ziggy's shack)
Rigby: The shack's right past that gate!
(Mordecai and Rigby run towards the gate, which is surrounded by old spaghetti. Mordecai steps into the spaghetti)
Mordecai: Ugh! Old spaghetti?
(Suddenly, multiple strands of spaghetti rise up and grab Mordecai and Rigby's legs, pulling them into a deep pit of spaghetti. While falling, they are grabbed by more spaghetti strands, to reveal a giant spaghetti monster roaring at them, who then lets go, forcing them to continue falling down the pit, while screaming. At the bottom of the pit, they fall down a pile of old books. As they land on the ground, a bright light shines on them)
Mordecai: Huh? Where are we?
(Looking up, the duo see Corny sitting on top of a rodent, holding a lantern)
Mordecai & Rigby: Corny!
Rigby: Dude, we're running out of time, can you help!?
Corny: Uh, I, I want to, but Ziggy always says "No second chances!"
Rigby: Please? Trampy was like family to me. I just realized it too late. Can't you understand?
(Corny shivers emotionally, as he remembers his life before the dump in a flashback. A mother and son are shopping in a grocery store, when the son stops his mom to point at Corny, labeled "Corn (Canned)" at the price of 95 cents. At the family's home, the son eats a bowl of corn, as Corny and his mom watch him. The flashback ends)
Corny: Family... (sniffs) I know a shortcut. Let's go!
(Corny and the rodent run off to Ziggy's shack, with Mordecai and Rigby following them. Through a trapdoor, they enter a room full of trampolines)
Mordecai: Whoa...look at all these trampolines! I guess they really were a fad.
(Rigby starts looking through all the trampolines)
Rigby: No...no. No! Where is it?
(Rigby then hears Ziggy's voice, who is revealed to be the same person as the garbage man, albeit wearing different clothes and eyeshadow)
Ziggy: Looking for something?
(Ziggy is sat at the top of a garbage pile, holding Trampy, surrounded by other garbage monsters)
Rigby: Trampy! Give it back, Ziggy! It's mine!
Ziggy: Was yours!
Garbage Monsters: No second chances!
(Corny hops towards Ziggy)
Corny: Sir, please! Hear him out.
Ziggy: Silence, trash!
(Ziggy magically throws Corny away without touching him, throwing him through the window of Ziggy's shack)
Rigby: Corny!
(Rigby turns back to Ziggy)
Rigby: You monster!
(Rigby begins to run up the pile of trash, towards Ziggy, but is grabbed by a bunch of garbage monsters)
Rigby: You're the trash, Ziggy! You wouldn't be so tough without your minions!
Ziggy: You really want Trampy so badly? If you want the thing for which you came, you must defeat me in a game.
(Ziggy snaps his fingers, crumbling up the shack and making them both hover into the sky)
Mordecai: Rigby!
(Ziggy laughs as his minions hover up, surrounding Rigby and Ziggy on small rocks. They then disappear and a huge firepit is formed beneath them)
Ziggy: In order to reclaim your trash, no missteps or you'll be ash.
(Ziggy swings his arm back, magically summoning a bunch of trampolines into the air, leading to a finish line, with Trampy floating behind)
Ziggy: It's an easy game, Rigby. If you cross the finish line first, you can keep Trampy. If you fall, you'll relinquish it to me...also, you'll be incinerated.
Rigby: You're on!
(A garbage monster fires a starter pistol as Ziggy and Rigby start their race towards the finish line, jumping on the trampolines. Their race goes on, avoiding the fire, until Ziggy stops briefly to wipe the sweat off his brow. He then swings his arm out, summoning another spell)
Ziggy: Fall!
(A trampoline moves away as Rigby goes to jump onto it. Rigby screams and begins to fall, but manages to grab onto the trampoline's frame, saving his life. He then swings on it to jump to the next trampoline, catching up to Ziggy, who look back, shocked at Rigby's survival)
Ziggy: What!? Burn!
(Ziggy swings his arm forward to magically summon a whirl of fire from the firepit, blocking Rigby's path. Rigby jumps on a trampoline and confidently performs a somersault through the fire whirl)
Ziggy: Whoa.
(Ziggy steps onto the frame of a trampoline, causing him to fall into the firepit)
Ziggy: No!
(Ziggy screams, as Rigby runs through the finish line and grabs Trampy)
Rigby: Trampy!
(The magical elements disappear as Rigby finds himself back in Ziggy's shack)
Rigby: I'll never leave you again, no matter how bad my back gets!
(Mordecai grabs Rigby's shoulder)
Mordecai: Rigby! Dude, we gotta get outta here.
(Mordecai is suddenly pelted by a trampoline, pinning him to a wall)
Rigby: Ziggy!?
(Ziggy, despite falling into the firepit, is alive but with burn marks, and is standing behind Rigby, who turns around to see him)
Ziggy: You can't have it, Rigby. No second chances!
Rigby: Dude, I just watched you fall to your death! You're literally taking a second chance at life right here!
Ziggy: That doesn't count! Did I get a second chance when I accidentally threw my portable cassette player away, twenty years ago? No! And did I get a second chance when I broke into the dump and they caught me, and the judge made me live in the dump as punishment? No!
Rigby: Wait, they made you live at the dump? For twenty years!?
Ziggy: Well, technically it was just for one night, like a "Scared Straight" thing, but I got used to it. Now, hand over Trampy before I make your friend another trampoline safety statistic.
(Mordecai is still pinned against the wall, struggling to break free of the trampoline)
Mordecai: Rigby!
Ziggy: Give me your beloved bed, or I will crush your best friend.
(Suddenly, Corny appears through a hole on the roof of the shack)
Corny: Hey, Ziggy! Can it!
(Corny jumps down and hits Ziggy on the head, knocking him out)
Rigby: Corny!
Corny: I've wanted to do that for twenty years!
(Corny whistles to the other garbage monsters, summoning them to take Ziggy away. Rigby picks up Trampy)
Mordecai, Rigby & Corny: OOHHH!!!
(Ziggy is thrown out of his shack, where he falls down the Garbage Mountain and into a pile of used wigs. The same garbage truck which Ziggy drove earlier reverses towards him, and dumps another huge pile of used wigs on top of him. Back in Ziggy's shack, Rigby is thanking Corny)
Rigby: Dude, Corny. You saved us! Is there anything we can do to repay you?
Corny: One word...recycle!
(Rigby smiles at Corny. Later, back at the Park, Rigby's huge bed is now sticking out of the house's dumpster, and Rigby is fast asleep in his room, on Trampy. Above him on the window is Corny, being used as a flower pot)
End of "California King"