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This page is the transcript for "Birthday Gift".

(Mordecai, Rigby and Skips are reshingling the roof. After hitting the tiles a few times with his hammer, Rigby gets up and starts to rap about Mordecai's birthday.)

Rigby: (singing) Yo, it's your birthday, I got you a present! Yo, it's your birthday, I give the best presents!

Mordecai: Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? You can't rhyme "present" with "presents".

Skips: Yeah, that's just careless rapping.

(Mordecai and Skips fist bump.)

Rigby: Psh. Whatever, man. Your birthday present is so great. You don't even know!

Mordecai: Ha. Ha. Yeah. I'm sure man. Thanks.

Rigby: Don't thank me yet. Thank me later tonight when you open it and love it, which I know you will. I gotta use it.

(Rigby throws his hammer on the roof tiles, walks away and jumps through an open window. The scene cuts to Rigby who is in the bathroom looking for Mordecai's birthday present. Upon opening the bathroom cabinet, he finds Mordecai's present and takes it down to inspect it.)

Rigby: Oh, yeah! A perfect hiding place for a perfect gift.

(Rigby leaves the bathroom.)

Rigby: Mordecai's gonna love it. I get the best birthday gifts.

Mordecai: (from afar) Man, I'd hate to say it, but Rigby gives me the worst birthday gifts.

Rigby: Huh?

Skips: Really, it sounds like he got you something really good this time.

Mordecai: Nah, he never really puts any thought into it. And if he does, they're usually just gifts he gets for himself. It's cool though. I've gotten used to it.

(Rigby looks at Mordecai and Skips as the two talk amongst each other as he remembers the times he ruined Mordecai's birthdays.)

Rigby: (singing) Yo, it's your birthday, I got you a present!

(Mordecai opens a Donut World Box only to find a few crumbs inside. He then looks up to see Rigby eating the box of donuts.)

Rigby: (continues singing) Yo, it's your birthday, I give the best presents!

(The scene cuts to Rigby snatching one of Mordecai's presents, that being a shirt with the words "MORDECAI'S FRIEND" written on there.)

Rigby: (singing) Yo, it's your birthday, I got you a present!

(The flashback ends with Rigby and Mordecai sitting on the living room couch Here, Mordecai is holding a birthday card as he reads a note from Rigby who wrote "I OWE YOU = RIGBY")

Rigby: (finishes singing) Yo, it's your birthday I give the best presents!

(Rigby starts to regret treated Mordecai like dirt. He then starts to wonder whether he really gives out the worst birthday gifts.)

Rigby: My presents aren't that bad, are they?

(He unwraps Mordecai's gift, which is a mug with the words "World's Greatest Rigby" engraved on it. After reading the text on the mug, Rigby decides to take matters into his own hands.)

Rigby: Oh, no. I gotta get him something better.

(The scene circle-wipe transitions to the kitchen where Rigby looking down at a notepad. He is also holding a pencil so he can jot down a list of gifts that Mordecai would like.)

Rigby: What to get Mordecai. Mordecai. Mor...de...cai... Gift for Mordecai. Mordecai for gift. Hm. Hmm...

(Rigby starts thinking about Mordecai's gift before he begins to slouch on his chair, sighing. He continues to think, moan and change his seating arrangement before coming up with an idea. Upon remembering that Mordecai likes video games, he stops lying face-down on the table and continues to talk to himself.)

Rigby: That's it! Mordecai likes video games, I like video games! And Mordecai likes video games! I'll get Mordecai a video game!

(After the scene circle-wipe transitions to the Game Wave building, we cut to Rigby who is scanning the shelves for a new video game. He manages to find a game called "Violent Fist 2".)

Rigby: "Violent Fist 2 Fist Fist," the new game from Tendindo! Sold! What?

(Upon inspecting at the price tag, Rigby notices that the game costs 60 dollars. Realizing that he doesn't have enough money, he decides to ask one of the staff members to see if they have anything cheaper.)

Rigby: 60 bucks? Do you have anything cheaper?

Game Wave Employee: I guess you're not into quality. Feel free to rifle through the discount bin like a peasant.

(After turning around to find the Discount Bin with the sign "$50.00 and Under!" sticky-taped on it, Rigby groans and rummages through the bin only to find a series of low-quality games.)

Rigby: Ugh! These games are lame! "Dog-cart Racing" for $49?

(He jumps down, turns around and continues to talk to the cashier.)I can't afford any of these!

Game Wave Employee: Well, I guess our interaction is done then.

(A stressed Rigby looks at the Game Wave Employee before the scene circle-wipe transitions to the Coffee Shop and cutting to Rigby drinking from the "World's Greatest Rigby" mug.)

Eileen: Hey, Rigby. What's got you down?

Rigby: I was trying to find Mordecai a birthday gift, but I think I might just have to give him this one.

(Rigby raises his mug to show Eileen what he's going to get for Mordecai.)

Eileen: You know you can't give him that, right?

(Rigby groans)

Rigby: I want to get him a video game, but they're too expensive!

(The scene adjusts to a man sitting behind Rigby who joins in Rigby and Eileen's conversation.)

Zaxon:Then why don't you just make a video game? Allow me to introduce myself.

(Zaxon walks over to Rigby)

Zaxon:I am Zax -

(As he makes his way to Rigby's table, he accidently slips his business card out of his fingers.)

Zaxon: Oop - uh -

(Zaxon snatches his business card to prevent it from slowly falling onto the ground.)

Zaxon: I am Zaxon! What if I told you you can make your very own interactive world with your mind? Observe!

(Zaxon pulls out a VCR and some cables from the inside of his jacket. After walking up to a nearby TV adjusting the cable, he inserts a tape into the VCR. As a result, the TV starts playing the tape.)

Zaxon: (on tape) ZAXON!

(Zaxon's head zooms in before fading away and zooming out.)

Zaxon: Oh, hello. I didn't see you there.

(The scene cuts to Zaxon briefly looking away and then turning his head around to face the audience.)

Zaxon: But I felt your presence. I'm here to show you an exciting new program I have developed. It's called ZIPGIDZ!

(Zaxon walks to his left to simplify what ZIPGIDZ means.)

Zaxon: ZIPGIDZ - Zaxon's Intelligent Player to Game Interface Design by Zaxon. (cut to the front of "Tendindo Games", showing us a younger version of Zaxon dressed in a janitor uniform.)

Zaxon: I first developed the program while working at Tendindo Games, the top company leading the way in a video-game renaissance.

(We cut to the Tendindo office.)

Zaxon: You guys, I got a great idea! What if there was a program where you could make your own video game?

Tendindo Boss: What? You're just a janitor. You can't make video games.

(The staff laugh at Zaxon as he leaves the office.)

Zaxon: Anybody can make a video game! I'll show you! I'll show all of you! And I did show them. Sure any hot shot programmer can make a video game. But with my easy to use software, any so-and-sowith a free afternoon can make one of their own.

(Zaxon points to the viewer)

Zaxon: Even you.

Rigby: Even me?

Zaxon: (echoed voice) Yes, you! With my high tech futuristic equipment, the electrodes in your surreal imagination cortex formulate your own virtual world.

(The film cuts to Zaxon sitting on a recliner in his garage)

Zaxon: So sit back and let your mind do the work.

(Zaxon takes a sip from his soda can before the tape ends, allowing for the VCR to return to standby mode)

Eileen: That video was uninformative and poorly produced. There's no way anyone will fall for that.

(After hearing Rigby chuckling outside, Eileen looks outside to find Rigby and Zaxon driving off in the distance.)

Eileen: Except my boyfriend.

(The scene circle-wipe transitions to Zaxon's House and later cuts to Zaxon opening his garage door.)

Rigby: Woah.

(The scene adjusts to the interior of Zaxon's garage)

Rigby: You made all of these. Are you a wizard?

Zaxon: Of sorts. But I know no tricks. Only truth. And the truth of the matter is that you promised you'd give your friend an amazing birthday gift tonight, so let's get to it!

Rigby: So, I just think up of a game and that's it?

Zaxon: Yes. But first, we must run very intense physical and mental tests.

Rigby: Ah, what?!

Zaxon:Let the intense training montage begin!

(After Rigby takes part in a training montage, Zaxon analyses a print out of binary code to see if Rigby can make a video game)

Zaxon: The results are in. The physical portion of your test was most impressive. In fact, it was off the charts.

Rigby: Yes!

Zaxon: The I.Q. portion is off the charts as well, but in a bad way. Like, literally it's so low that it's not even on the chart. I think I've eaten walnuts with a higher intellect.

Rigby: Does that mean I can't make a game?

Zaxon: No. Don't you remember my promotional VHS? Anybody can make a video game. Time to put on a really cool helmet that I invented myself!

(The scene circle-wipe transitions to Rigby and Zaxon wearing helmets and sitting in recliners.)

Zaxon: These helmets will virtually transport us into your head. Once we're in, you can make the game with your mind. However, because of your low I.Q., there will be bugs in the system.

Rigby: Bugs?

Zaxon: But fear not. When the time comes, I will help you face them. By the way, these could kill us.

Rigby: Wait, what?

(Rigby stutters for a bit as his and Zaxon's minds are being transported.)

Rigby: Whoa! So this is what my mind looks like.

Zaxon: Yes, but think about what you want the game to be.

Rigby: Uh...I want it to be at the park, I guess?

(A virtual version of the Park and the house is generated.)

Rigby: Whoa! Now I want Mordecai and Skips to be in it. And they've got a birthday cake!

(Mordecai and Skips are generated and are sitting on the roof of the House, a virtual cake is also generated.)

Mordecai: Hey, dude! Come up and eat some birthday ca-a-ake!

Zaxon: Now add some obstacles.

Rigby: Like jumps and holes and stuff?

(A series of obstacles are generated.)

Rigby: Aah! No, no, no! That's not what I meant!

(The game stops generating obstacles after a while.)

Rigby: Aw, man!

Zaxon: "Aw, man" is right! Now all you have to do is get to the cake at the end and the video game will be made. Just remember your training.

Rigby: All right. Let's do this.

(Rigby spots a swarm of computer-generated bugs.)

Zaxon: Aah! the bugs! Run!

(Rigby and Zaxon start running away from the bugs and begin the obstacle course challenge.)

Rigby: Why are there so many?

Zaxon: Actually, based on your I.Q., I was expecting more.

(Rigby and Zaxon continue running away from the bugs)

Rigby: Quick! up here!

(Both Rigby and Zaxon jump onto a series of computer-generated floating rocks. They avoid getting crushed by two small platforms and also jump over a laser-wall. The two, along with the bugs make it to a wall and start climbing it. Rigby stops climbing upon reaching the top and notices Mordecai, Skips and the cake are not far away.)

Rigby: We're almost there!

Zaxon: Go. I'll hold them off.

Rigby: No! I can't just leave you.

Zaxon: Your friend only has a birthday once a year. Finish this game so you can give him the best gift ever! Oh, and, Rigby, prove to them that anyone can make a video game, even you!

Rigby: Zaxon!

CGI Mordecai: Rigby is my friend.

CGI Skips: I am Skips, and I have all the answers!

Rigby: No!

Rigby: Remember your training.

(A flashback of Rigby training at Zaxon's place is shown.)

Rigby: Not this year.

AI Voice: You win!

Rigby: Have some cake, best friend!

Rigby: Aw, yeah! Piece of cake!

Rigby: Aw, man.

(Rigby notices a still Zaxon sitting on his recliner making no movements.)

Zaxon: Zaxon You fought well, old friend.

Rigby moves Zaxon's eyelids so he can shut his eyes. After doing so, Zaxon wakes up and gasps.)

Zaxon: I'm not really dead, just "video game" dead.

Electronic Voice: Game complete.

Rigby: Man, I give the best gifts.

(Scene cuts to Pops's House)

Rigby: Mordecai!

Mordecai: Dude, where have you been? You went to the bathroom and never came back. You missed my birthday!

Rigby: Look, Mordecai. I know my gifts have always been lame, but I really tried this time. Happy birthday, man.

(Rigby hands Mordecai his wrapped present. After unwrapping it, Mordecai finds out that the present Rigby gave him was a video game.)

Mordecai: A video game?

Rigby: Made by yours truly!

Mordecai: What? No way. You didn't make this.

Rigby: No, but my mind did.

Electronic Voice: Cake Quest!"

(Mordecai plays the game after after a few seconds, he is able to beat the game.)

Mordecai: Whoa! That was awful! You really did make this, huh?

Rigby: Yep.

Mordecai: This is the best gift you've given me.

(End of "Birthday Gift")