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This page is the transcript for "Alpha Dome".


(The episode begins with the Dome flying in space. We see Rigby snoring as the rest of the gang enters the controls room)

Benson: Rigby! (Rigby gasps) We're rocketing through space at warp speed, and you're asleep at the controls?

Rigby: It's on autopilot. That means I don't have to push any buttons. Believe me, I tried to push a lot of different buttons.

Benson: Eileen, how close are we to the rendezvous point?

Eileen: We should be coming out of warp right about... (Eileen presses a button, causing the dome to exit warp drive) now.

(Mordecai and Benson are seen looking at empty space)

Mordecai: It's just empty space.

Skips: Maybe Buttons McGee over here sent us to the wrong coordinates.

Muscle Man: Wow, Skips, that's a really insightful name for Rigby.

Skips: Thanks. I been reading some books.

Mordecai: Wait. What's that? (Mordecai twists a knob to zoom in)

Female Computer Voice: (shows a hologram of Alpha Dome) Alpha Dome found. Piloted by Mary Stone (shows hologram biography of Mary Stone), John...

Benson: Alpha Dome?

Rigby: It's the first dome sent into space.

Benson: Yeah, I know.

Mordecai: Then why were you asking?

Benson: I wasn't asking. I was just surprised.

Skips: It sounded like you were asking.

Benson: I wasn't asking!

Female Computer Voice: Steve Mikulski. (shows hologram biography of Steve Mikulski) Dome status: unknown.

Benson: Hail them.

Eileen: (typing) Now hailing.

(The computer calls Alpha Dome)

Eileen: They're not answering.

(The answering machine clicks)

Female Computer Voice: At the tone, please record your message. (beep)

Benson: Hang up, hang up, hang up! Ahh. Rawls' coordinates brought us here. There must be something important in that dome. Skips, take Mordecai and Rigby and check it out. But be careful. We've got to be on the lookout for anyone trying to get to Pops.

Eileen: Starting dome docking procedure.

(The dome moves to Alpha Dome. The scene cuts to Mordecai, Skips and Rigby near the opening of the dome. The garage door opens to an area filled with trees.)

Skips: Careful. Whatever stopped the dome could be waiting to stop us, too.

(Skips walks off as Mordecai and Rigby look at each other. We cut to Mordecai, Rigby and Skips walking around the dome. Rigby walks by himself and gasps as he sees the bush rustling. The rustling stops when a chicken pops out of the bush.)

Mordecai, Rigby and Skips: Huh? (The trio walk by and find a village) Huh? (We see a village with some houses, two people talking, a man taking a horse with him and a woman farming. We see a sign saying "Colony of New Silaston".)

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa...

Skips: Interesting... or whoa, I don't know.

(The farming woman notices them and gasps.)

Woman: Visitors! Visitors, everyone!

(The villagers all murmur excitedly as they approach the trio, pleased to meet the new arrivals. Skips notices something familiar about the woman.)

Skips: I think that's Captain Mary Stone.

Mary: Good morrow, gentlemen! We don't get many visitors. From where have you come?

Mordecai: Oh, from that other dome right there. Do you have something for us or do you know why our computer brought us here?

Mary: (confused) "Computer"? Is that the name of your horse? Oh, what a lovely name for a horse!

Skips: Uh, would you mind telling us what year it is?

Mary: Why, it's the year of our Silas, 1690!

Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips: 1690?!

Skips: Huddle up, boys! (they all group up close together) Something's wrong here, these people are stuck in the past!

Rigby: Why can't we just tell them it's the future?

Skips: The truth could send them into total shock!

Mordecai: But Ross must have sent us to Alpha Dome for something.

Skips: Follow my lead. (he turns back to Mary and the villagers) Ahem! Excuse me, madam. Wouldst thou know where to find the leader of this good township?

Mary: Why, you're speaking of our town father, Silas the Wise! Praise Silas!

Mary and Villagers: Praise Silas!

(Just then, another man walks over and bends down to Mary.)

Silas: Somebody praising my name?

Mary and Villagers: Silas!

Silas: Heeeey! (he is revealed to be riding atop another villager who is crawling on his hands and knees. A young boy with hay is beside him. Silas steps down.)

Crawling Villager: Did I carry you well, Silas?

Silas: What was that? Did my carriage speaketh? I don't want to have to get a new carriage!

Crawling Villager: No, Silas! Your carriage spoke not! Your carriage shall carry you until its wheels fall off from its crippling calcium deposits.

Silas: Good! Boy, feed the carriage.

(The pilgrim boy feeds the crawling villager some hay. Silas approaches Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips.)

Silas: Oooh, my buckle and hat! Who are these newcomers?

Mary: They came here on a horse named Computer!

Silas: (worried) Computer? (back to normal) My, w-what a wonderful name for a horse!

(Skips notices something about the man seems awfully familiar.)

Skips: Good sir, are you not the Steve Mikulski from the crew photo?

Silas: "Pho... to..." Ha! What a hilarious word with so many sounds! Mary, these people are quite funny! Excellent discovery! Have some hay. (he feeds her some hay)

Mordecai: Ugh! Couldst "thou" just take us to your control ro-

Villager: Silas! Silas! (he is holding a wheelbarrow with another villager inside, his leg against his head) Stephen has accidentally buckled his shoe to his hat again!

Silas: (sighs) These simple creatures. Silas' work is never done.

Rigby: While you're busy with this, would you... er, "thine" mind if we take a look around?

Silas: Heh! Of course not! Consider thyselves the honored guests of Silas the Wise.

(Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips head off... but as they leave, Silas stares at them suspiciously.)

(The trio begin to investigate the dome in a montage. First, they approach a shed and encounter a massive pile of hay inside. Rigby and Skips part it... to see a giant white walker hidden behind it. Mordecai becomes suspicious at the sight of it. Next, the trio comes across some grazing cows. One of them is a fake on wheels, which Mordecai and Rigby move aside to reveal an escape pod. Finally, the trio investigates an animal pen...)

Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips: Whoa...

Mordecai: The Alpha Dome bridge...

(The bridge is a mess. Piles of straw lie about, the walls are covered in muck, and a pig is wandering around inside. The trio approach the bridge's main console.)

Rigby: This place is a pigsty! (he presses a power button)

Pig: INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!

(The "pig" is actually a robot whose eyes are now flashing red. It stands on its hind legs and its front hooves flip up to reveal laser blasters. It opens fire on the trio, who yelp and rush for cover. Mordecai grabs a nearby pitchfork and throws it at the pig-bot, causing it to squeal and explode upon contact.)

Mordecai: Man, what is up with this place?

Skips: That computer's gotta know why we're here.

(the trio return to the console and press the button again. Shields lower over the bridge's viewscreen and a video begins to play. In it is Steve Mikulski, the man seen in the Alpha Dome crew list earlier.)

Steve: This is Steve Mikulski, journal entry 4627. It's Day 1 after "the incident". (a flashback occurs while he narrates, the Alpha Dome erupting from warpspace) We had just warped into our coordinates.

(The Alpha Dome suddenly experiences some turbulence, a pink glow filling the bridge.)

Captain Mary Stone: What's going on?

(The Alpha Dome is heading straight for a massive wormhole.)

Crew Member 1: It's a time anomaly! It's sucking us in!

Mary: Redirect power to stabilizers!

Crew Member 2: Redirecting... (his fingers frantically fly over the controls and the thrusters kick in)

Mary: Hold her steady, Stephen!

(At his station, Steve is beginning to get nervous. Sweat drips from his brow and his breathing is shaky. He glances over to the crew member beside him as he grips the controls tight.)

Crew Member 1: Calculating an 80% chance of getting ripped apart.

(The Alpha Dome's thrusters aren't enough. The time anomaly slowly draws it in further. Steve slowly becomes more anxious as the chances of failure rise...)

Crew Member 1: 90%... 95%...

Crew Member 3: I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to go down right here with the ship!

Steve (voiceover): Things were looking grim...

(In the flashback, he is becoming more terrified as the Alpha Dome gets closer to the vortex. A screen shows the dome's position, a trajectory path, the vortex, and an exit window that could give the dome an escape opportunity. The dome slowly enters the exit window...)

Mary: Auxiliary engines now, Steven! Steven?!

(She looks at his station, which is now empty. Steve is shown fleeing from the bridge in fear, all while he claims otherwise in his narration.)

Steve (voiceover): So... I heroically sprinted to the time-proof shed.

(The panicking Steve hurries into the shed and darts inside, slamming the door behind him and cowering in terror by some mops. The Alpha Dome passes through the time anomaly.)

Steve (voiceover): When I got out of the shed, nothing had happened to me. But everyone else had regressed to pilgrim times!

(A bewildered Steve exits the shed and walks through the dome, stunned at his fellow shipmates donned in pilgrim outfits and waving at him.)

Villagers: Good morrow! Good day to you! Person body! Buckle and hat!

Steve (voiceover): Even Captain Stone remembered nothing!

Mary: Good morrow, sir! What be your given name, sir?

(Steve is about to respond... but instead, he gets an idea and confidently smiles.)

Steve: Uh... Silas. Silas the Wise.

Steve (in recording): Day 2. I think I'm the smartest person on the ship or something.

(In the flashback, Steve tries to show off various inventions to his regressed shipmates- including a music player and a lighter- only for them to run away screaming. With each attempt, Steve smiles wickedly... and later, "Silas" is shown firing a laser pistol into the air, the villagers around him wielding torches before they flee in terror.)

Steve: That's right! Bow in fear! I am the great Silas! Silas the all-powerful!

(In the video, Steve laughs evilly before the recording ends.)

Rigby: What the...?

(Mordecai quickly activates his walkie-talkie and contacts the Park Dome.)

Mordecai: Benson! Alpha Dome went through a time vortex and the crew regressed to pilgrims!

Benson: Ugh! How are we gonna get the info we need from them?

Mordecai: We gotta figure out a way to turn Alpha Dome back to normal.

Eileen: Can you guys send me the coordinates of the time anomaly?

Mordecai: Uh, yeah. Standby.

(Mordecai access the Alpha Dome's console and transmits the coordinates to the Park Dome. It shows the time anomaly and the two domes not too far away.)

Eileen: It's not far from here. If we push them the other way through the vortex, it should reverse the time effect and bring Alpha Dome back to present day.

Benson: Okay, Eileen, plot the course! Muscle Man, you've got the helm! You guys, get out of Alpha Dome!

Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips: Right!

(Suddenly, the bridge door swing open and "Silas" storms in with a net gun.)

"Silas": Not so fast! I've had enough of your snooping around!

Mordecai: Look, the jig is up, Steve.

Steve: NO! NEVER!

(Steve fires three nets from his weapon. Mordecai and Rigby are ensnared while Skips jumps away from the third net, landing behind the console and smashing through the bridge's window to escape.)

Steve: (groans) We'll find him. There's nowhere to hide.

Mordecai: You won't get away with this.

Steve: I can do whatever I want. (two villagers enter the bridge with ropes in hand) Let's deal with them the 1690s way...

(Later, Mordecai and Rigby are tied up in rope atop a wooden platform. Angry villagers shout at them while Steve denounces the duo before them.)

Steve: Aw yeah, pilgrim witch trial style! They are doubters of the word of Silas! These outsiders dabble in the supernatural! (the villagers gasp in shock) Look what I found amongst their belongings! (Steve holds up a handheld video game console.)

Mordecai: Dude! Why'd you bring that?

Rigby: I don't know! I thought we had downtime!

Steve: By pressing this witch artifact, this little man jumps! (he makes the video game character jump, causing the crowd to gasp again. However, one of the villagers speaks up.)

Villager: Wait a minute... Wallace Marco here, proprietor of the dirt farm. Quick question, my Silas. Like, what makes that witchery evil and the witchery you use to rule us good? I mean, it's confusing, right?

(Steve's lip quivers for a moment, afraid of losing his superiority over his regressed shipmates. Fortunately, Steve knows just the thing to handle any doubt.)

Steve: WITCH! Wallace is a witch!

Wallace: No, I-

Villagers: Witch! Witch! Witch! (they start pushing and shoving Wallace)

Steve: Where is the final unbeliever? Show yourself!

(Skips is seen hiding behind some bushes, observing the witch trial until Benson contacts him.)

Benson: Skips! Skips, come in! Where are we in saving Mordecai and Rigby?

Skips: Working on it!

Benson: Okay, we're gonna move the domes into position. Begin maneuvers!

Eileen: Got it.

(The Park Dome moves closer to Alpha Dome.)

Steve: (takes out his blaster) Now, with a flash of my future laser, I signal the execution of these- GAH! Wait, what?

(the Alpha Dome begins to quake and vibrate as the Park Dome makes contact. The villagers, who are focused on the "witches" atop the platform, remain oblivious to the Park Dome's presence.)

Mary: My, the heavens are shaking!

Villager 1: These are witch tremors!

Villager 2: It's a sign! They are witches!

(The crowd angrily raise torches. Steve is quick to take advantage of the villagers' beliefs.)

Steve: Yeah, you're right! (he aims his blaster at Mordecai and Rigby, who brace for the shot...)

(Suddenly, another laser shoots the pistol out of Steve's hand.)

Steve: Huh?

(It's Skips, who is piloting the walker the trio found earlier.)

Skips: Quit trying to laser my friends!

(Skips opens fire with the mech's blasters, causing the villagers to run away screaming in terror. Skips manages to blast the ropes off of Mordecai and Rigby, who are delighted to see their friend as the mech stomps over and lowers down.)

Mordecai and Rigby: Skips! (the mech's cockpit opens and they hop inside.)

Skips: To the escape pod!

(The walker marches off, but a furious Steve grabs his laser pistol. Meanwhile, the Park Dome is slowly moving Alpha Dome towards the time anomaly.)

Benson: Alright, when we get close enough, we've got to break away.

Eileen: Careful. If we don't do it just right, we'll go forward in time too.

Benson: I'm not ready for my future yet.

(Back on Alpha Dome, the mech marches over to the hidden escape pod. Just before the guys can reach it, Steve pops out from behind the fake cow and opens fire, blasting the mech and forcing the trio onto the ground.)

Steve: You just had to meddle in my affairs! But joke's on you! If you push us back through the vortex, I'll just get smarter!

Rigby: Grr... he's right! Wait, is he right?

Steve: Now say hello to the smartest man in the dome... and then, say goodbye! HAHAHAHAHA!

(The domes slowly get closer to the vortex...)

Benson: Hold...

(And closer...)

Benson: Hold...

(The Park Dome's systems display the same trajectory path and exit window the Alpha Dome attempted to use, the dome slowly approaching the the exit point.)

Eileen: Point of no return imminent!

(The Park Dome gets inside the exit window.)

Benson: Disengage!

(The Park Dome breaks away from Alpha Dome, which drifts into the time vortex. Back on Alpha Dome, Steve keeps laughing sinisterly until Rigby leaps onto his face, bringing him down on top of the guys.)

Steve: AH! NO! NO! STOP!

(Steve instinctively fires his blaster, but the recoil sends everyone sailing through the air... and into the time-proof shed. They land inside just as Alpha Dome passes through, a pink wave of temporal energy washing over the villagers. Steve slowly regains consciousness... and quickly realizes where he is.)

Steve: No! No, no, wait! I need to be out there!

(Steve throws open the shed's doors and rushes outside... but he stops once he sees what has happened to the rest of the crew.)

Steve: No... I'm too late...

(The Alpha Dome's crew are no longer pilgrims, but they are also not their normal present-day selves. Instead, they are beings of glowing energy that glare at Steve in anger and disappointment.)

Alpha Dome Crew: Steve... you've been a jerk...

Mordecai: Mary? What happened to you?

Mary: Due to vortical flux, we're now super-advanced energy beings from the year 3300... give or take. Thanks for putting Steve in his place. We're gonna keep him as a pet from the early 21st century. Here, eat this hay. (she stuffs some hay into Steve's mouth, cementing his new status as an inferior being much like the crew once was.)

Mordecai: I'm glad things are back to normal... ish. But we still don't know why we were brought here.

Mary: Oh, we were instructed by Rawls to give you this map. (she hands Mordecai a device)

Mordecai: Aw, man! Another set of coordinates? Why didn't Rawls just give these to us in the first place?

Mary: We needed to hide your path.

(She shows the guys her palm... which has a tattoo of Pops' face on it. With their new destination set, the Park Dome blast off, away from Alpha Dome and the time anomaly.)

End of "Alpha Dome"