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This page is the transcript for "Access Denied".

(The episode starts at the Coffee Shop. Mordecai, Rigby and Eileen surprise Margaret for her birthday with confetti and balloons.)

Mordecai: Alright, here she comes.

Mordecai, Rigby and Eileen: Happy birthday, Margaret!

Margaret: Haha! Thanks guys! I'm gonna have to clean that up, you know.

Mordecai: (Hands her the balloons) These are for you.

Margaret: (Takes them) Nice balloons.

(The camera focuses on the balloons; none of which say 'Happy Birthday')

Eileen: They were on sale.

Rigby: It sucks you have to work on your birthday.

Margaret: Ugh. Seriously.

Eileen: Did you tell them?

Margaret: Oh! Hey, do you guys wanna come to my party tonight?

Mordecai: Party?

Margaret: Yeah. It's kind of last minute, but I'm celebrating at this cool club called "Box".

Rigby: Ugh. Club?

Elieen: I'm bringing the cake.

Rigby: I'll be there.

Margaret: (Looking at Mordecai) So, you in? I know you're not much of a dancer.

Mordecai: Are you kidding? I dance all the time.

Margaret: You'll have to show me some moves, then.

Mordecai: You got it.

Margaret: Great! The party ends at midnight, so don't be late.

(She and Eileen walk away)

Mordecai: Don't worry, we won't.

Rigby: Man, why is Margaret having her party at a club? Clubs are so lame!

Mordecai: Yeah, but you know what's not lame? Dancing with Margaret!

(Makes techno music noise)

Rigby: Ugh. It is when you dance like that.

Mordecai: I'm gonna show her my moves and then make my move, know what I'm sayin'?

(Makes techno music noise)

(The scene transitions to Mordecai and Rigby all dressed up and walking to the club, while Mordecai is still making techno music)

Mordecai (continued): (Singing) Time to dance with Margaret, let's get this party started!

Rigby: (Singing) With cake we'll be rewarded!

Mordecai: Yeahyuh!

(They come up to the club, which has a huge line of people outside)

Mordecai and Rigby: (Laughs) Italic

Rigby: Is this it?

Mordecai: Ugh! Why don't they put signs in these places?! (Low voice) Yeah, pretty cool, no signs in these places.

Rigby: (High voice) Yeah, pretty cool. (Normal voice) I hate clubs.

Mordecai: Ugh! Seriously though, how are we supposed to know?

Rigby: (Walks away) I know how to find out. (Talks to a guy spray painting a wall) Sup, bro.

Graffiti guy: Sup, little bro.

Rigby: Hey, what are those losers waiting in line for?

Graffiti guy: Just a dumb club called "The Box".

Rigby: So dumb! Thanks, bro.

(Walks away)

Rigby (continued): Yeah, this is "The Box".

Mordecai: Aw, sweet! Come on; let's get in line. Margaret's probably waiting for us.

(Lots of people are going to "The Box" club. The bouncer lets two people in.)

Mordecai: Hey, dude! We're here for a party.

Club Bouncer: No one's here for a party, man. Get in line.

(Walks away)

Mordecai: Dude, did you just check the list?

Rigby: Yeah; check the list, man!

Girl in line: You can't go in; you're not on the list.

Mordecai: Yes we are!

Rigby: Be quiet!

Club Bouncer: Woah! Whoa! Settle down! So you really think you're on the list?

Mordecai: Yeah, we're supposed to be here.

Club Bouncer: Alright. (Checks clipboard) Sorry man, you're not on here.

Rigby: Wait! You didn't even ask our names!

Mordecai: Yeah!

Club Bouncer: (Sigh) What are your names?

Mordecai: Mordecai and Rigby.

Club Bouncer: Oh, Mordecai and Rigby! Ok! You're definitely not on the list!

Mordecai: I don't believe you.

Club Bouncer: What?

Mordecai: Lemme see the list.

Club Bouncer: You wanna see the list?

Mordecai: Yeah. Let me see the list!

Club Bouncer: You wanna see the list? I'll show you.

(He reveals to them that there's nothing but blank pages)

Club Bouncer (continued): Ooooh. You see, nobody is on the list.

Mordecai: But, but I-

Club Bouncer: (Walks away) Now wait in line like everybody else.

Mordecai: What do we do now? I'm calling Margaret, she'll get us in.

(The scene cuts in to Margaret's phone ringing while the music is super loud inside the club and Margaret and Eileen are seen dancing.)

Margaret: Eileen, have you seen Mordecai and Rigby?

Eileen: Not yet?

Margaret: I wonder what's keeping them.

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