Don/Transcript

Rigby: (Wearing a football helmet and laughing) - Dude! I'm open, I'm open dude!

Mordecai: (Laughs a little with a handful of socks) - Go long, dude!

Rigby - Ugh! Take that, sock faces! (Throws down the socks and starts pretend cheering)

(Benson enters)

Benson - Hey, you two! Quit fooling around, we're having an emergency meeting.

Mordecai - Aw, what?

Rigby - Boooo!

Benson - Outside, now!

(Scene shows everybody outside)

Benson - Ok, everyone. I got some bad news; the park is being audited. Pops tried to pay the park taxes with lollipops.

(Everyone gets mad at Pops)

Pops - But I gave them more than enough!

Benson - We already went over this, Pops. You pay taxes with money, not candy.

Pops (Sad) - Ohhhhhhhhhhh.

Rigby - What's the big deal? It's not like an audit is a bad thing.

Benson - It IS a bad thing, Rigby! If we don't take care of this, the government takes our stuff away!

(Everyone starts to panic)

Benson - Ok, we only have till 3 to stop the audit! Does anyone know someone who can help us? Anybody, anybody at all?

Muscle Man - I know someone who can help.

Benson - If you say your mom, you're fired!

Muscle Man (Pause) - My mom!

Benson - GET OUT!

Muscle Man - It was worth it! (High fives High Five Ghost and leaves)

Mordecai (Thinks for a minute) - Hey, we know someone!

Rigby - We do?

(Mordecai gives him a look)

Rigby (Gets what Mordecai is talking about) No, no way!

Benson - What? If you know somebody, you've got to tell me.

Mordecai - Rigby has a brother (Rigby punches Mordecai) and he's an accountant (Rigby punches Mordecai again).

Rigby - Shut up!

Mordecai - Dude, what do you have against Don?

(Rigby gets mad and starts having a flashback about his sixth birthday)

(Scene shows a banner that says "Happy Birthday, Rigby!" Shows balloons and a birthday cake with white frosting and a number six candle)

Little Rigby - Guys! Guys! Guys! Watch me blow out the candles, guys! (Mordecai and three other friends look bored)

(There is a sound of a door opening off-camera. Rigby's brother, Don, walks in. He is Rigby's height,not in the flashback, and is wearing a baseball hat that reads "Don")

Little Don - Hey, Rigby! Happy birthday, bro!

(Little Rigby looks mad)

Little Rigby - Wha!?! Wha!?! I told you to stay in the basement!

Little Don - Oh! Sorry, Rigby. I just wanted to give you some birthday sugar.

Little Rigby - I don't want your freakin' sugar!

Rigby's friend # 1 - I'll give you some sugar, Don.

Rigby's friend # 2 - Yeah, me too!

(The two of them go to Don and one of them gives him a hug)

Little Rigby - (grabs Mordecai's arm) Don't you dare!

Little Mordecai - I'm just getting some sugar, dude! (Rigby lets go of him) Besides, Don is cool.

(Laughter and Mordecai goes to Don to hug him)

Rigby friend - You're the best, Don!

(Little Rigby growls and flashback ends)

Mordecai - Yeah, Don really made that party.

Benson - Call your brother.

Rigby - No.

Benson - Call your brother!

Rigby - No! I hate him!

Benson - Fine. Mordecai, you call him.

Rigby - You better not!

Mordecai - Dude, he could save the park.

Rigby - Dude, he could ruin my life. If he comes, I'm going to tell him to leave!

Benson - No, you won't! You be nice to your brother or you're fired! (to Mordecai) Call him.

Mordecai - Dude, just be cool until he stops the audit.

(Rigby groans)

(Scene shows them waiting for Don)

Rigby - You guys are making a big mistake!

Benson - Don't ruin this for us, Rigby.

(We see Don drive up in his car)

Benson - Really nice car.

Pops - He looks just like Rigby!

Don - (Comes out of his car) Did somebody order an accountant?

(Everbody laughs except Rigby)

Benson - Thank you so much for coming on such short notice. I'm Benson.

Don - Benson! Give some sugar. (Hugs Benson) Nice to meet you. Hey, who this guy?

Pops - I'm Pops.

Don - Pops! Give me some sugar.

(Pops runs laughing and gives Don a hug)

Don - Don. Good to meet ya.

(Don hugs Skips)

Don - Look at this sugar shack. Come here, guy (Gives Mordecai a hug) I haven't seen you in forever.

Mordecai (Chuckles) - I know! Oh, it's been forever.

Don - Rigby, give me some sugar, bro.

Rigby - Don't you have "taxes" to do? Why don't you get to it?

Don (chuckles) - He was always greedy with the sugar.

Rigby - Augh! I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

Don - What bro?

Benson - You keep your mouth shut!

Rigby - Nothing.

(The scene shows to Rigby in the hallway and Don and the others are the computer room.)

Don - So then I said you're not a accountant, you're an accouncant.

(The other's laugh at the joke.)

Pops - I didn't realize accountanting could be so fascinating.

Don - I'm just lucky I get do what I love.

Rigby - (mocking Don) - Ohh I just lucky to do what I love.

Don - Rigbone! Sugar?

Rigby - Shouldn't you be fixing the augit.

Don - You mean the audit?

Rigby - Don't correct me! I know what it is!

Don - (laughing) Whoa, there I'm sensing some tension, bro. I think it's time we all take a well deserved break.

(Then the gang is outside and they are playing football.)

Don - Mordo! Go long!

(Then throws the ball too far.)

Mordecai - I got it!

(He goes to find the ball and sees Rigby with it and he looks mad)

Rigby - Hello Mordo, enjoying your game?

Mordecai - Uh sure dude, can you pass the ball?

(Rigby throws the ball at Mordecai and the ball hits his stomach.)

Mordecai - (Grunts) Rigby!

Rigby - He's not even doing the debit!

Mordecai - It's audit! (Sighs) Rigby, why don't you just try being nice to your brother? He's actually pretty cool.

Rigby - You don't understand, he...

Don - Hey, Mordo! We playing or what?!

Mordecai - Uh, yeah coming!

(Rigby gets mad and the scene goes back into the house and Don was doing the audit.)

Don - Ah, I just about got this. With a few minutes to spare.

(Rigby walks in.)

Don - Rigbone! How about a little pre-saving the park sugar, you know for almost being done saving the park?

Rigby - NO!

Don - What's going on with us? You never give me some sugar. Did I do something?

Rigby - Yeah. You were BORN!

Don - Wow. That's heavy. I gotta get out of here.

(Don leaves the room)

Mordecai - Dude? No, wait Don!

Don - I'm sorry.I just gotta get out of here.

Mordecai - Dude, what are you doing? He was almost done!

Rigby- Ah, he's not so cool. I can finish this up myself.

(presses button on keyboard and a bunch of ads pop up)

Rigby- Ok.

(presses another button and more ads pop up)

Rigby-