New Year's Kiss/Transcript

(The episode starts off with Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost and Thomas at the Coffee Shop)

Muscle Man: Hey hear me out. All I'm saying is that it's hard to make a new year's resolution when you're always bringing your "A" game.

Mordecai: Tch! Come on, you gotta have a resolution for new years.

Muscle Man: Hmm. I guess I can put in  more time on my amazing muscles. I'll really get these kittens to purr next year.

Hi Five Ghost: I think I would like to learn a second languege. What about you Thomas?

Thomas: I'm going to try to help my mom more next year.

Rigby: (blows raspberries)

Muscle Man: Not cool, bro. That resolution is legit.

Eileen: Here are your coffees guys.

Rigby: Yo Eileen, you got a resolution?

Eileen: Well, I would like to work on my craft blog more, but I won't have time once we get a new waitress around here.

Man: (off-screen) Can I get a refill?

Eileen: Later.

Rigby: Ugh! Let's talk about real resolutions. This year is going to be the year of the Rigby. I'm keeping it all Rigby, all the time.

Mordecai: What does that even mean? Your just keeping something vague so you can't fail at it.

Rigby: No last year didn't have much Rigby, this year is going to be Rigby crazy!

Mordecai: I don't know, last year was pretty crazy.

Rigby: That's just cause Margaret dumped you.

Mordecai: Aw, dude! Come on!

Rigby: What? I'm just keeping it Rigby.

Muscle Man: So, you gonna turn around your lady luck this year?

Mordecai: Yeah. As a matter of fact, I am. This year, no more waiting to wuss out. If I see a cute girl, I'll just talk to her.

(The gang cheers)

Muscle Man: So, when are we meeting up for the new year's eve party?

Thomas: What new year's eve party?

Rigby: It's one of those parties where you wear masks and stuff.

Mordecai: A Masquerade?

Rigby: Yeah, whatever. Like I said, you wear masks.

(A door opens up which reveals a girl with snake hair with her friends who catches Mordecai's eye)

Muscle Man: Yo bro. She's pretty smoking.

Mordecai: Yeah. Uh, I mean what?

Rigby: You should go talk to her, man.

(The gang complains)

Muscle Man: Come on, dude. Come on.

Mordecai: Uh, I don't really think--.

Everyone: Come on, dude!

Rigby: Come on, dude. You got this. No problem.

Mordecai: Yeah. All right. I got this.

(Everyone cheers Mordecai on while he walks up to the girl. Mordecai talks her and the girl and her friends laugh while the gang tries to hear the conversation)

Rigby: What are they saying?

Muscle Man: I don't know, bro. Be quiet.

Thomas: She's smiling a lot.

Hi Five Ghost: Shh! Shh! He's coming back. How did it go?

Mordecai: I got her digits!

(The gang cheers)

Thomas: So, are you gonna call her?

Mordecai: Yeah. I think I'll ask her to the new year's party tomorrow.

Muscle Man: Nice.

Rigby: Looks like we need a round of victory coffees! But first, I need to empty the tank.

(Rigby flushes the toliet and starts washing his hands then a holegram appears and looks just like Rigby)

Future Rigby: R-R-Rigby!

Rigby: Ahh!

Future Rigby: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill dude. It's just me, I mean you. Look, I'm you from the future.

Rigby: What the--? Were you in the stall the whole time?

Future Rigby: Gross! No! I got something to tell you. You have to help Mordecai. He's going to kiss a girl at New Years and you have to stop him.

Rigby: That's sounds like the oppsite of helping him. Are you really me from the future?

Future Rigby: Come on! You have to trust me!

Rigby: Oh yeah? Prove it, if you're from the future, then what's my New Year's resolution?

Future Rigby: Year of the Rigby, baby!

Rigby: Whoa! You are me from the future!

Future Rigby: Yeah, I know.

Rigby: Okay, so what's the deal about this New Year's kiss again?

Future Rigby: Okay, so it's going to happen like this. Tomorrow at the New Year's mask party, Pops is going to open a bottle of sparkling apple juice to early, then Muscle Man is going to streak in a diaper, and then right after that, Mordecai is going to kiss a girl he shouldn't kiss. You gotta stop that kiss!

Rigby: Okay, but why?

Future Rigby: Sorry dude, future rules say I can't tell you. Butt--.

Future phone: Insert five credits to continue this call.

Future Rigby: Wait! Trust me! It's the only way he'll be happy!

Rigby: Uhhhhh...