Benson Be Gone/Transcript

(Episode starts with Mr.Maellard in his office)

Mr.Maellard: Snacks disappearing from the snack bar? Holes in the walls? 500 dollars worth of prank calls, it's ridiculous! What are you doing to my park Beanteen?

Benson: But sir it's not my fault, it's Mordecai and Rigby. It's right here in my report.

Mr.Maellard: Are you my park manager Beanteen?

Benson: Yes sir.

Mr.Maellard: Then everything that happens here is your fault!

Benson: Well yes technically but-

Mr.Maellard: Say it.

Benson: Everything that happens here is my fault.

(Mordecai and Rigby crash into the office with Mr.Maellard's limo)

Mr.Maellard: My car!

Mordecai: Sorry Benson, remember how I told you that I could drive stick? Well, i'm a little rusty.

Rigby: I told you you should have let me be the one to park it.

Mr.Maellard: Why are they driving my car when i specifically told you to park it?!

Benson: I did sir but i deligated it to Mordecai and Rigby.

Mordecai: Uh, this is getting a little awkward so we're gonna take off.

(Mordecai starts backing out)

Benson: Wait!

(Limo crashes to the ground)

Mr.Maellard: That's it! Emergency meeting tomorrow! Things are gonna change around here.

(Scene cuts to the meeting out front of the house the next day)

Mr.Maellard: I'm sure you're all anxious to get back to work so let me make this brief, Beancan you're being demoted.

Benson: What?!

Mr.Maellard: Everyone, this is Susan. She'll be taking over Beanton's duties at the park.

Susan: Thank you Mr.Maellard. First, I like to say thank Benson for agreeing to step down from his position.

Benson: What?!

Susan: I know this park's productivity has been inadequate for a long time. But now that i'm here, we're gonna get this park back in working order the Susan way. So Pops and Skips, I need you to clean the north-end fountain, Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost are on snack bar duty, Mordecai and Rigby and Benson, you guys will be raking the leaves.

Benson: What?

(scene cuts to Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson raking leaves)

Mordecai: Come on Benson, we gotta rake these leaves dude.

Benson: I can't do this.

Mordecai: Look, you're bummed out about getting demoted, but if you give it a chance, you'll see it's not that bad.

Benson: This is horrible.

Mordecai: No it's not, you're just in a bad mood. Look, you just need to take your mind off of it for a while and have some fun.

Rigby: Yeah man, we can come back later and finish these leaves.

Benson: Ha, this is so typical. You get bored so you just slack off instead of finishing your work.

Mordecai: It's not slacking, we're just taking a break and besides, it's not like you're working that hard anyway.

Rigby: Yeah, you're raking like a old man that has a fatter old man holding his arms down.

Benson: I don't feel like raking now, ok?!

Rigby: I'm just saying.

Benson: What if Susan catches us? She'll probably fire us for not working!

Mordecai: Dude, just calm down. We'll just pretend like we're working until she goes away.

Benson: Yeah right, like anyone will ever fall for that.

Rigby: It always worked on you.

Benson: Ugh, fine! As long as it gets me out of raking these leaves.

(Montage of the guys having fun)

Benson:(laughs) I feel great!

Mordecai: See, I told you all you needed was a break. Now do you feel like getting back to work?

Benson:(laughs) No!

Mordecai: Wait, what? Dude, we have to go back to work eventually.

Benson: Yeah right, i'm never working again.

Mordecai: No seriously, we should go back to work, Susan's coming.

Benson: Ha, what's she gonna do?

Susan: Why aren't you all working?

Mordecai: Oh uh, we were just washing Mr.Maellard's car, see we're washing it, haha. Come on Benson, we're washing the car now.

Benson: I'm not washing the car.

Susan: Benson, why aren't you working?

Benson: Cause I don't feel like it.

Susan: Get back to work or i'll fire you.

Benson: Yeah? Do it!

Susan: Excuse me?!

Benson: I've wasted my whole life at a dead-end job and i'm not wasting another second working for you so go ahead and fire me.

Susan: Ok Benson, you're fired!

Benson: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH! Come on guys, lets get out of here!

Mordecai: Uh actually Benson, we need this.

Rigby: Yeah, we need the money man.

Benson: Oh well, suit yourselves i guess but my life is happening right now and i'm gonna go with it. Sayonara suckers! Wooo, woo woo!

Susan: You two! Get back to work! Faster! And you, sweep those stairs, and you with the big head, finish those windows! Faster, faster, faster, faster, faster, faster, faster, faster!

Rigby: I don't wanna work for Susan.

Mordecai:(has blonde hair like Susan) Dude, I know.

Rigby: Mordecai?

(Scene cuts to Benson on a park bench)

Benson: Aw, jobless. Not a worry in the world.

(Paper flies onto handlebar of bench)

Benson: Take that piece of trash for example. Normally, I do my duty as park manager and pick it up, but I say like it be someone else's problem, like nature's.

(Paper floats to a nearby tree)

Benson: (Sighs)

Leon: You said it brother, who needs something like a job?

Benson: Right.

Leon: What does a job get ya? Some lousy money so you can buy things?

Benson: Right.

Leon: I'm Leon but my friends call my Upt, that's short for Utopia, because i'm living the dream man.

Benson: I'm a..

Leon: I know who you are Benson. Former park manager, now full-time slacker.

Benson: How did you know?

Leon: I used to be the park manager and just like you, i gave it up for a life of slacking. Now, I don't worry about silly things like where Leon's gonna lay his head to sleep tonight cause sheet grats of a garbage compost is my pillow, the grease on my face is my shower. Yes sir, can't beat the life of a slacker, i'm proud to be the one to welcome you to your new life.

(Benson runs back to the house)

Leon: Hey, where ya going?

Benson: I gotta get my old job back.

(back at the house)

Benson: Hello? Susan? Susan, I need my old job back.

(turns out to be Mordecai and Rigby)

Benson: What the?!

Mordecai and Rigby: Benson, help us!

Benson: What happened?!

Mordecai: The more we do what she says, the more we turn into her.

Benson: Well stop doing what she says!

Rigby: We can't.

Benson: Why not?

Mordecai: Because she's standing right behind you.

(Benson turns around to see Susan at the doorway and screams)

Susan: What are you doing back here? Get out!

Benson: You're turning them into you, you can't do that! That's not how you manage a park.

Susan: What would you know about running a park?

Benson: I'll show you what i know. Mordecai and Rigby, start playing video games.

Mordecai and Rigby: But we're supposed to clean.

Benson: Play video games or you're fired!

(Mordecai and Rigby play video games and start to turn back to normal)

Benson: Play harder! Come on, put your feet up. Eat this pizza while you play.

(Mordecai and Rigby are back to normal and Susan gets mad)

Susan: That's it! Mordecai and Rigby, go back to work!

Benson: No you don't, keep slacking!

(Skips,Pops,Muscle Man, and High-Five Ghost come in susan form)

Rigby: Look! Skips, Pops, Muscle Man and High-Five!

Mordecai: Susan's turned them into Susans too.

Pops: Turn that off and clean up this mess!

Benson: Why don't you clean it?

(Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost start to turn back to normal)

Benson: Everybody slack off or you're fired!

(Everyone slacks off and turn back to normal)

Muscle Man: We did it!

(Everyone cheers and Susan's body turns around and flies out of the window and Giant Susan comes out of the ground and eats Susan)

Giant Susan: Get back to work!

Benson: Don't listen to her, keep slacking off!

Giant Susan: No! There's only one way to deal with employees like you!

(Giant Susan goes and picks up a building)

Gianst Susan: Immediate termination. (roars)

Mr.Maellard: Susan! What on earth do you think you're doing?!

Ginat Susan: I'm running your park for you, you old foul!

Mr.Maellard: This isn't how you run a business!

(Giant Susan throws the building aside)

Giant Susan: You don't know how to run a business!

Mr.Maellard: (screams) Beanton, Beanton, help me Beanton!

Benson: It's Benson and I can't do anything unless you give me my old job back!

Mr.Maellard: Ok, yes, yes, you have your job back!

Benson: And your car keys.

Mr.Maellard: My car keys?!

(Benson gives him a look)

Mr.Maellard: My car keys, of course!

(Benson catches keys and drives the limo a few feet away from Susan)

Benson: Hey Susan, you're fired!

(Benson drives toward Susan and Leon gets into the limo)

Benson: Leon!

Leon: I've got this brother. I've already had my season in the sun, but you've still got a whole lifetime of slacking in front of ya.

Benson: Actually, I changed my..

(Leon pushes Benson out of the limo)

Leon: Time for me to blow this slacker wonderland!

(Leon flips limo and cuts off Susan's heels)

Leon: Utopia.

(The limo crashes into a brick wall and explodes and Susan falls and screams)

(Benson walks over and everyone congradulates him)

Mr.Maellard: Thank you Benson, keep up the good work.

(Nudges Benson with cane and everyone continues to congradulates him)

Benson: All right, all right. Everybody back to work, we gotta get this mess cleaned up now. And that means you Mordecai and Rigby. You better keep working after i'm gone cause if I come back in or not, you're fired!

(Benson drives away)

Mordecai: Haha yeah, good to have you back Benson! You wanna go play video games?

Rigby: Yeah-yuh.

Benson: (sighs) It's good to be back.