Skips in the Saddle/Transcript

(Episode opens at Pops's House. Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost are at the steps. Mordecai and Rigby are linked on a video game. Skips walks by with a wheelbarrow.)

Skips: So, who's up for card at my house tonight?

Muscle Man: (holds up four tickets) Can't. Me and Fives are taking our ladies to see some Mexican wrestling.

Hi Five Ghost: Mucho romantico!

Benson: Audrey and I are going to a jazz concert.

Rigby: I've got plans with Eileen.

Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost: Ooooohhh!

Rigby: Brind plans. She wants to show me her new rock polisher.

Muscle Man: You know who else like to polish people's rocks?

(Mordecai and Rigby glare at him.)

Skips: Mordecai?

Mordecai: Aw, I would, but CJ and I are going to a laser light show tonight. But you can totally come with us.

Skips: Ah, no, that's okay. I've, uhhh, I got some other guys coming over. In fact, I better get going. Eh, have fun, everyone. (walks off. Everyone goodbyes him)

(Cut to Skips's House. Skips comes in, turns on the light and goes to his table, where he has food and a stack of cards set up. He sighs and puts the food away, straightens things up, and goes to lit some weights. He plays cards by himself, then goes to the frdge and takes sardines. Skips is een watching tv and eating.)

Man: Baby, I don't know where I'd be today if I hadn't met ou.

Woman: Probably home alone, watching a romantic comedy in the dark.

(They laugh. Skips groans. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby walking along.)

Rigby: How was the laser show? Did you put your arm around CJ?

Mordecai: Did you put your arm around Eileen's rock polisher?

Rigby: Stop talking!

Mordecai: (stops Rigby) Wait, Skips?

(Skips is sitting on a stool outside.)

Rigby: You okay, man?

Skips: Yeah.....no! I've been skipping solo for too long now. I need to start dating again.

Rigby: Skips! Gettin' back in the saddle!

Skips: I guess. It's been so long, I don't even know where to start.

Rigby: Aw, it can't be that bad. How long's it been?

Skips: 200 years.

Mordecai and Rigby: Wooooaaaaaaahhh!

Mordecai: Well, better now than never. You just gotta get out there.

Rigby: What you need are some wingmen.

Skips: Wingmen?

Rigby: You know, your co-pilots. Your bros. The one's who got your back while you're looking for ladies.

Skips: Hmm. (cut to him picking up his phone and dialling a number) It's me. Uh, I need some wingmen.

Gary:  I've been waiting 200 years to hear you say that.

(Cut to a club called Shark Tank. People are hanging out. We see Skips, Gary, Techmo and Reginald at a table.)

Skips: So, uh, what happens now? Do we just sit here and wait till they come talk to us?

Gary: Waiting doesn't get you the ladies, Skips.

Techmo: Watch and learn.

(We see 2 ladies seated at a table. Gary and Techmo walk over to them.)

Gary: Excuse me, ladies. Perhaps you could settle a bet. Which one of us do you think is older?