Exit 9B/Transcript

Part 1
(We begin with a cold open at the park house. A new character, Thomas the goat, is knocking on the door. He then knocks again, waiting for a response)

Thomas: Hello? (peeks through window. As he backs away, he then notices the knob, and enters the house) Benson, hello? (knocks again) Is anybody here? (walks further in. His cell phone rings and he answers) Hey, mom. Yeah, it's my first day at my new internship. No, I'm looking for them right now. Yeah, yeah, I met everybody yesterday and they all seem really cool. Yeah, it's gonna be a really easy way to get three credits. (suddenly, an explosion of some sort occurs outside, shaking the house) Mom, hold on!

(Thomas runs outside and sees a fireball explode right by the house as lasers fly past him. To the left he sees Pops, Hi-Five Ghost and Benson running in terror)

Benson: Run! Run!

(All three are hit with lasers and stunned as Thomas watches. He then sees Skips running past the evildoers. After dodging some lasers, he is eventually shot and hits the ground. He turns to face the shooter, who has a recognizable-looking face. Muscle Man is shown watching from behind a trash can)

Skips: You! You won't gonna get away with--

(Skips is shot again; Muscle Man makes a break for it but is also shot down. Mordecai and Rigby are then seen running past the destruction. Mordecai is carrying a time machine, Rigby a file)

Rigby: Dude, hurry!

Mordecai: (mashing the buttons on the time machine) I'm trying!

(Just as they are about to be shot, the time machine activates, and Mordecai and Rigby disappear in a gold aura. The man, who we will find out later is Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr., walks up to the house)

GBF Jr: You should have sold it to me when you had the chance! (He blows up the house with a detonation device, laughing maniacally as a red wormhole forms above the rubble. Thomas looks on. The title cards then appear)

(REGULAR SHOW - CREATED BY JG QUINTEL - EXIT 9B - WRITTEN AND STORYBOARDED BY: CALVIN WONG, TOBY JONES - WRITTEN AND STORYBOARDED BY: ANDRES SALAFF, MADELINE QUERIPEL - SUPERVISING PRODUCER: MIKE ROTH)

(Fade to two months later. We pan down to see a new place: Skips' Place, Body and Oil Transmission.)

Skips: Let's see... Pops? (pan through the seats, to Pops, in a zookeeper's outfit) We got a Pops here?

Pops: Huh?

Skips: You Pops?

Pops: Indeed!

Skips: Car's ready. Sign here. (shows Pops a clipboard and hands him a pen

Pops: I hope she wasn't any trouble, Mister! Mister... (looks at nametag) Skips.

Skips: Not really. Just an oil change.

Pops: Oh, splendid! (runs away, laughing. Skips then looks at the clipboard again)

Skips: We got a Mossy Stevenson here?

(Pops starts up his car, and drives out of Skips', and onto the road. He turns on the radio to listen to old-style music. At the crosswalk, Muscle Man, dressed like a college professor, checks his watch)

Muscle Man: Come on! (looks at the crosswalk sign. It stays on the red hand for a few seconds, before the white stick figure flashes on, Pops is seen driving, not noticing Muscle Man, only seeing him and braking at the last second) What the heck, old man? (Pops then backs up his car, and drives away) Hey! (Throws his briefcase at Pops' car)

Pops: Sorry!

Muscle Man: I'll find out who you are. (Walks up to pick up his briefcase, and High Five Ghost appears. He is now a Pizza delivery guy)

Hi Five Ghost: Hey mister. Do you know the way to the park?

Muscle Man: Uh, hello, I almost died. Besides, I don't have time to tell you, I'm late for my lecture on Quantam Mechanics. (leaves)

Hi Five Ghost: Pff, brainac. (He now looks at a sign that says Old Town <--, and The Park -->, and heads to the park)

(On the park gate is a sign that reads, 'Exit 9B Coming Soon', HFG knocks on the gate, and Benson opens it, revealing that he still works at the park.)

Benson: You're not the usual pizza guy.

Hi Five Ghost: I'm new. That will be $12.95.

(Benson takes the pizza to GBF Jr. inside the park, which is now a construction site)

Benson: The pizzas have arrived, sir.

GBF Jr: Excellent. Thomas, come. (We see Thomas, who was listening to music, and he runs to GBF Jr.)

Benson: Sir, do you think I could have some pizza?

GBF Jr: What? Pizza's for winners. You're not a winner, Benson, you're a slacker. Now get back to work!

Benson: Yes, sir.

GBF Jr: Intern, pizza. (Opens his mouth, and Thomas feeds him a slice. He lets out an evil laugh)

(We scroll down a little bit and Mordecai and Rigby land from the time machine)

Mordecai: Agh, my chest.

Rigby: Are you ok?

Mordecai: Huh? (Gets up revealing the time machine is now destroyed) Aw, man.

Rigby: Where are we?

Mordecai: Dude, it's the park. Look. Aw man, the freeway's almost done. This is bad. Hide. (Mordecai and Rigby hide from two construction workers) That was too close.

Rigby: What are we gonna do?

Mordecai: It's not too late. Come on, we can still fix this.

Rigby: But the space time thingy's busted.

Mordecai: We don't need it. Do you still have the document? (Rigby takes out the document that is in a file.) All right, we have to find Skips.

(We go to Skips' garage, which is now barricaded, and now Mordecai knocks at the door)

Mordecai: Skips? (knocks again) Skips?

Rigby: (Wipes the window) Skips? (We now look inside the garage, showing that it's all dark and full of trash)

Mordecai: It's hopeless, dude. He's gone.

Rigby: What now? We can't pull this off without Skips.

Mordecai: There has to be a way. (looks down) Huh? (Picks up a card that says "Skips' Place Auto Body")

Mordecai and Rigby: Hmm, hmm.

(We now go to Skips' Place, Body and Oil Transmission. Mordecai talks to a pair of legs working under a car)

Mordecai: Hey man, you know where we can find Skips?

Skips: I'm Skips. Who's askin'?

Mordecai and Rigby: Skips!

Skips: Yeah. Who are you?

Mordecai: Dude, it's us, Mordecai and Rigby.

Skips: I don't know you.

Rigby: Dude, he's been brainwashed.

Mordecai: Remember, we were co-workers at the park.

Skips: Nah, I never worked at any park.

Rigby: Do you remember that evil bearded guy? He must have scrambered your brain. He was gonna scramber our brains too, but we escaped through a hole in space time. (makes time traveling sound)

Mordecai: We think about two months has past since then, now he's building a freeway on the park, our park.

Rigby: You got to help us stop him.

Skips: Exit 9B is gonna make a huge difference in people's lives. How else are people gonna get from South I-85, to South West 85B? You need some help with your car, I'm your guy. Otherwise, get out of here.

Rigby: That's not the Skips we know.

Skips: I don't know you.

Rigby: Skips, you're in there somewhere, snap out of it. (Slaps Skips, and Skips roars, and grabs and choking them)

Skips: What's your game?

Mordecai: You gotta remember, Skips.

Skips: Who do you work for?

Mordecai: Well, technically, you're one of our bosses.

Skips: You lie.

Rigby: Wait, we know why your name is Skips. Remember the only woman you ever loved!

(Skips now has memories from Diary, The Power, Death Punchies, This is My Jam, Over the Top and Skips Strikes. Skips is now unbrainwashed and lets go of Mordecai and Rigby, who fall to the ground and cough. Skips is upset)

Mordecai: Skips?

Skips: (He breathes heavy, he's now calm and looks at Mordecai and Rigby) Tell me everything.

(Cuts to next scene)

Mordecai: That bearded guy tried to buy the park out for months, but then he tried to take it by force. And we're the only ones left who can take it back.

Skips: Uh, do we have a plan?

Mordecai: Rigby, show him the document.

Rigby: Bam! It declares the park a historical landmark. We just need everybody that worked at the park to sign it, then it will be against the law to build Exit 9B, decreed from City Hall, yo!

Mordecai: Easier said then done. If that bearded guy gave you a new identity to hide you, then there's no telling where everyone else is.

Skips: I know where we can find out.

(We cut back to the park)

Skips: Get down. (Skips sees that the coast is clear) Go, go!

(The trio make it into the office, where they start rifling through files)

Rigby: There's gotta be thousands of these things.

Mordecai: Is this what we're looking for?

Skips: (looks at the file that Mordecai found to see, and it shows all of the park worker's definitions) Yeah, this is it. It's a case of everybodies new identities. Looks here like Benson's the only one who still works at the park.

(GBF Jr. tries to open the door)

GBF Jr: Benson, why didn't you lock this door?

Benson: But, I did lock it.

GBF Jr: Oh, you locked it? I guess that's why the handle's turning. And I suppose if I push it right now, it won't open, huh? (opens the door, but Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips are hidden) Well, what did you know? You forgot to lock it.

Benson: I could have sworn I locked it. I won't let happen again.

(Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips are seen inside the closet)

GBF Jr: Next time it happens, you're fired. Got it? Thomas, get me some coffee.

Thomas: I'm pretty sure I saw him lock it.

GBF Jr: Nobody asked you, Thomas. I could fire you anytime I want. Just like I can fire Benson anytime I want. Isn't that right Benson? (GBF Jr. now looks at the closet door) Why's that opened?

Rigby: (whispering) He knows. (Mordecai and Skips covers Rigby's mouth.)

GBF Jr: (He walks up close to the closet door, but only to close a file cabinet) Break time's over. (GBF Jr., Benson, and Thomas leave and close the door. Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips come out into the office)

(We now go to the next scene where Pops is now a butterfly sanctuary instructor)

Pops: Welcome to the City Butterfly Sanctuary. Admission is free, although donations are greatly appreciated.

Mordecai: (Clears his throat and holds up a lollipop) Will you take a Butterscotch Ripple?

Pops: (Pops now has memories from The Power, Karaoke Video, Prankless, Just Set Up the Chairs, Go Viral, Brain Eraser, Sugar Rush, and The Best Burger in the World. Pops is now unbrainwashed and laughs) I remember. Jolly good show!

(We go to Muscle Man, where he is teaching college students in an auditorium)

Muscle Man:  And as you can clearly see, C=8. Any questions? (Mordecai raises his hand) Yes, in the back?

Mordecai: Yeah, we were just wondering, do you know who else's C=8?

Muscle Man: Well actually, yes I do. It's my mom. (Muscle Man gasps. He flashes back through memories from Trash Boat, Big Winner, Slam Dunk, Fuzzy Dice, In the House, Gut Model, Muscle Mentor, and Death Metal Crash Pit. Muscle Man is now unbrainwashed, and he rubs his hair back to it's original form) Whoooooo! (Knocks over his table) Whoooo! Eat it, eggheads. Class is dismissed. Whooooooooo! (Smashes the exit door) Whoooooooo!

(We now go back to Skips' Place, where High Five Ghost comes to deliver a pizza. He is grabbed through the door; Muscle Man high fives him. HFG sees memories of when he was a baby, when he was in High School, and from episodes from My Mom, Rage Against the TV, and Fuzzy Dice. High Five Ghost is now unbrainwashed)

Hi Five Ghost: Whooooo!

All: Yeah!

(They all sign the documentr)

Muscle Man: (to Hi Five Ghost) Looks like my John Hancock's the biggest. Now give me a high five, cause I got a huge signature! (high fives Hi Five Ghost) But seriously, how do we save the park?

Mordecai: We have to get Benson's signature. The problem is he's always with that bearded guy.

Muscle Man: Who is that tool anyway?

Skips: A contractor. He's tried to buy the park countless times, so he can build a freeway there.

Pops: But why must it be the park? Why is it so important to this beard?

Skips: That doesn't matter now. What matters is that we get Benson back to sign this contract.

Hi Five Ghost: But we could get killed.

Muscle Man: Yeah. This sounds pretty heavy, bro.

Mordecai: Look, Skips is right. It might be risky, but we have to try. This isn't just the park we're talking about, it's Benson too.

Muscle Man: You're right. Let's do this thing. On three. (They all put there hands together) One, two, three!

(They all chant different things at the same time)

Rigby: We could have planned that better.

(Cuts backs to the park where the highway is nearly finished)

Mordecai: All right guys, Benson could be anywhere. We just need his signature and this will all be over. Skips, you take Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost and go around back. Me, Rigby, and Pops will go that way. And remember, whatever you do, don't get caught.

Thomas: What are you guys doing here?

Muscle Man: Thomas, what's your problem? You trying to give us a heart attack?

Thomas: I have to be here. I need the credits for school. You guys gotta go: the new manager's crazy.

Mordecai: We're not leaving. You gotta tell us where Benson is, so we can get his signature.

Thomas: Uhhh..

Mordecai: Thomas!

Rigby: Thomas, where's Benson?!

Thomas: Uh, right behind you.

(Muscle Man and High Five Ghost get bagged by other construction workers and Benson)

Benson: Get all of 'em.

(Skips and Pops get bagged as well)

Mordecai: Benson, no! You can't do this!

(Benson snaps his fingers, and Mordecai and Rigby are the last victims to get bagged. End of Exit 9B, Part 1)

Part 2
(Part 2 begins with GBF Jr. laughing maniacally. The gang of six have bags pulled from their head and it is revealed that they are sunk neck-deep into cement at the end of a freeway ramp)

GBF Jr: Well, well, well. What've we got here? A couple of protesters trespassing on private property. What? You're not a fan of Exit 9B? Let me guess: you stuck yourself in that cement so we'll stop building, hmm? Well, I'm afraid that isn't going to work. In fact, you're one of the final components of its completion. (Laughs evilly)

(The gang struggles to get out)

Mordecai: Dude, what's your deal?

Muscle Man: Yeah, what's your beef with the park?

GBF Jr: Beef? I have no beef with the park. My "beef" is with Mordecai and Rigby!

Mordecai: Us?!

Rigby: But we don't even know you!

GBF Jr: Perhaps, not in my current form, but maybe this will jog your memory. (He struggles out to reveal just only a floating head, and he gives out an evil laugh once again, as everyone stuck in cement gasp in horror) That's right, I'm the son of universe renold gaming champion, Garrett Bobby Ferguson: Garrett Bobby Ferguson Junior!

Mordecai: Is this just because we beat your dad's universe record?

GBF Jr: No, it's because you blew him up! You think you can just go around exploding people's dads?

Mordecai: But that wasn't our fault.

Rigby: Yeah, it was just a side-effect of getting schooled so hard!

GBF Jr: Silence! Garrett Bobby Ferguson Sr was a kind, loving father, with a heart as big as his head, and he's gone because of you.

Muscle Man: Good one, dudes.

GBF Jr: When my freeway is complete, it will be a gateway to the fiery center of the earth, and then my dad, along with everyone else you've ever destroyed will come back from beyond the grave to destroy everything you hold dear''. (laughs'') And now that I have a captive audience, I present Exit 9B!

(The last part of the freeway is slotted into place. This triggers two poles with huge balls on top which zap into the dark cloud, 'which becomes a portal; many dozens of villians from previous episodes are seen walking out of the portal, looking angry)

Muscle Man: Oh no, bro.

Rigby: This is bad.

(The villans stop marching as a giant head appears from the portal. The villans all look at it and it is revealed that it is Garrett Bobby Ferguson Sr)

Mordecai: No way.

GBF Sr: Get ready for a universe serving of revenge.

(GBF Sr floats to GBF Jr)

GBF Jr: Father.

GBF Sr: Son.

(They groan as they grow arms and legs. The workers in the cement make disgusted noises)

GBF Sr: (Hugs GBF Jr) You're looking good, son.

GBF Jr: Thanks. Now what do you say we show these park scum the meaning of revenge?

The Urge: I'm gonna enjoy this.

Hot Dog Leader: These cowards die tonight!

(The guys struggle to get out)

Rigby: It's useless. We're all gonna die.

Pops: We're surely done for.

Skips: I don't know about you guys. I think it's rude not to invite your friends to the party.

(Skips whistles, summoning many allies including The Guardians of Eternal Youth, Techmo, The God of Basketball, Gary, and Death)

Death: Ello boys.

Everyone except Skips: Whoa.

Skips: Nice of you fellas to drop by.

Leader of the Guardians of Eternal Youth: Greetings, park dwellers.

(The Guardians zap the cement, freeing the workers)

GBF Jr: Huh! What, is that supposed to be an army?

GBF Sr: Huh, yeah!

Rigby: There's too many of 'em!

Hi Five Ghost: He's right. We'll never defeat them.

Mordecai: It's not about defeating them anymore. It's about standing up to them and fighting. I for one am not just gonna hand over everything that I care about to some floating head that wants revenge on us. I'm not backing down, and I don't think you oughta back down either. Today we fight! We fight for the park!

(The workers cheer)

Mordecai: Now who's with me?

(The workers and Guardians cheer)

Mordecai: Who's with me?!

(Everyone cheers again)

GBF Jr: How touching. Demon spawn of the underworld!

(The undead villains moan in compliance)

GBF Jr: Attack!!!

(The undead villains charge towards the gang)

Mordecai: Hold the line...

(The charge continues)

Mordecai: Hold the line...

(The charge continues)

Mordecai: Now!

(The gang scatters as a demolition ball flies through and smashes most of the undead back and off the ramp. A hand-to-hand fight breaks out with crude weapons)

GBF Jr: Charge!

(The rest of the villains charge. Mordecai yells and leads a charge of his own)

Mordecai: Dude, we've gotta find Benson so we can get him to sign these papers.

Rigby: Let's go!

(The two run through the battle to find Benson. Some villains charge Skips and the Guardians)

Skips: Now!

(The Guardians raise their rattles to the heavens, zapping down a beam of light that places the metal gloves onto Skips' arms. Skips knocks over several villains with one punch as the fight continues on all sides. Mordecai is seen battling Summertime Song)

Summertime Song: Summertime lovin'--

(Mordecai smashes Summertime Song in half and he garbles his song to an end as tape spills everywhere)

Rigby: Dude, there's Benson!

Mordecai: Benson, you've been brainwashed!

Rigby: You're on the wrong side, man.

Benson: Shut up!

Mordecai: We're telling the truth.

Rigby: The beard guy's evil!

(A girder on a rope flies and knocks the three off the ramp. Mordecai and Rigby land on the ground)

Rigby: Uhhh...

Mordecai: Where'd Benson go? (screams)

(A digger appears overhead - it is being controlled by Benson. Mordecai and Rigby jump into a golf cart. Benson chases in the digger, trying to scoop them up)

Rigby: Benson, you're the boss of the park. How do you not remember that?

Benson: Lies!

Rigby: (to Mordecai) Look out!

(The battle is now raging on at ground level, with various old characters making their appearances and fighting to the death. The bunch of Baby Ducks, in super form, see the Duck Collector flying through mid-air)

Super Ducks: Step off! (He karate chops and the Duck Collector explodes.)

(No Rules Man rollerblades past Skips and sprays water on his metal arms, causing them to spark and fly off his hands and explode)

No Rules Man: No rules.

(No Rules Man meets a grisly end as we see Mordecai and Rigby hit a dead end, Benson right behind them in the digger)

Mordecai: Benson, don't do this! The park means everything to you.

Benson: He warned me you'd try to fill my head with lies. Say goodnight.

(Benson raises the digger; Mordecai and Rigby scream. As the digger comes down, Mordecai tries to drive the cart away as he and Rigby scream "Oh!" Because they are stuck in mud, they can only do donuts instead of moving, giving Benson a flashback of Mordecai and Rigby doing donuts outside the house. Benson grabs his head in pain and the digger stops. Mordecai and Rigby look up to see Benson deep in painful thought)

Mordecai: Huh? Dude, we were doing donuts. Dude: hamboning.

Rigby: Ham-bon-ing! Ham-bon-ing! Ham-bon-ing!

Mordecai and Rigby: Hmm! Hmm! Hmm hmm! Hmm hmm! Hmm! Hmm! (climbing out of the cart) Not settin' up the chairs next time! Not settin' up the chairs next time!

Benson: Get out of my head!!!

Mordecai and Rigby: Wooooooaaaaaaahhhhh!

(Benson has another, longer flashback, including memories from Just Set Up The Chairs, Fortune Cookie, Weekend at Benson's, Think Positive, Brain Eraser, Prank Callers, Eggscellent (where he gets punched in the face), and Busted Cart, and everything comes back to him)

Benson: Where do I sign?

(Back on the freeway, GBF Jr and GBF Sr watch the battle below going their way)

GBF Jr: They're outnumbered. Soon it will all be over.

GBF Sr: I think you just got the universe record for best revenge ever!

(A bright light and noise appears above.)

GBF Jr and GBF Sr: Huh?!

(A white car flies down from the sky. Gary is driving while Mordecai, Rigby and Benson stand on the trunk)

Benson: STOP! (the truck lands) This ends now!

Mordecai: That's right. Benson got his memory back and with his signature this document is complete. Shut down Exit 9B and the portal!

Rigby: Decreed from City Hall, yo!

Mordecai, Rigby and Benson: Historical landmark!

(GBF Jr and GBF Sr hold each other and laugh)

GBF Jr: They think they got everybody, Garrett Bobby Ferguson Senior!

Mordecai, Rigby and Benson: Huh?

GBF Jr: You had to get the signatures of all the park employees.

(GBF Jr kicks an oil drum into the air. Thomas is shown hiding underneath)

Thomas: Huh?

Mordecai, Rigby and Benson: Thomas!

GBF Jr: Now, hand over the document or the intern gets it. (holds a laser gun aimed at Thomas' head)

Benson: Why did I have to hire him right before all this happened?

Mordecai: (sigh) This isn't his fight. (Climbing off the back of the car, Mordecai slips and loses his footing, dropping the document out of sight.) Sorry.

GBF Jr: Quit messing around and bring me the contract!

Mordecai: (Picking up a file and walking to GBF Jr) Alright, alright.

GBF Jr: (takes the file and laughs) Revenge is a dish best served cold. Intern, fetch the coffee - iced!

Muscle Man: The park...

Skips: Our home.

Pops: (sheds a tear) All is lost.

GBF Jr: Thomas! Stop thinking about things and bring us the coffee already. Kid's worthless, am I right?

(Thomas screams and charges at GBF Jr, throwing the coffee at him. GBF roundhouse kicks him off the edge of the freeway.)

The workers and Gary: (shocked) Thomas!

(As Thomas falls to the ground, Gary's car swoops off after him, with Benson and Rigby still on the back. Pops, Skips and Mordecai watch over the edge)

GBF Jr: Hmm, alright, gather round now, gather round now. (The villains gather) We'll just tear this thing up and get this war back on. Minions! Behold!

(GBF Jr holds up a crude drawing of him, thinking it's the contract)

Blonde Man: Uh, is that a drawing of you with a butt for a face?

GBF Jr: Huh, a fake?!

Mordecai: Hey, losers!

(The car floats up from below the freeway. Thomas is clinging from the edge of the trunk)

Rigby: Should have checked the fine print when we switched the contract in front of yo' face, know what I'm sayin'?

GBF Jr and GBF Sr: No!

(Thomas signs the last missing spot and the paper glows yellow around his name. The contract takes off into mid air and flies to the portal, closing it. The freeway begins to crumble and crack as the villains fly back to where they came from, followed closely by the bits of destroyed freeway and - unless they can hold on, the park workers, too. The GBFs stand on the last remaining piece of freeway as terror reigns around them)

GBF Sr: Junior! You just broke the universe record for disappointing your father! (explodes)

GBF Jr: (falls to his knees) Nooooo!!!

(GBF Jr explodes and the rest of the freeway disappears before the last remaining piece of the portal explodes, forming a mushroom cloud and when it settles the park is back to normal with green grass and blue skies. The workers stand outside the now-destroyed house. Everyone except Thomas cheers)

Mordecai: Yeah, Thomas, that was awesome!

Benson: Yeah, you're gonna make a great addition to the team.

(Everyone pats Thomas' head and rubs his shoulders)

Rigby: Sweet job, Thomas!

Pops: Good to have you!

Thomas: Hah, thanks guys! Does... stuff like this happen all the time?

(Everyone nods and agrees)

Benson: Don't worry, we'll have this place cleaned up in no time. Right, Skips?

Skips: Ehh, I've seen worse.

Benson: Alright everyone, let's get to it.

(Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost get ready to drive off in the cart)

Muscle Man: Woo! Later, grandmas!

Mordecai: Thomas, we'll catch you later, right?

Thomas: Uh, yeah.

Rigby: Cool. Later, Thomas.

(Thomas is alone as his cellphone rings)

Thomas: (answering the cellphone) Hey, mom. No, no, I'm not going to quit anymore. Yeah, yeah. I think this internship's gonna be really cool.

[Exit 9B ends]