Think Positive/Transcript

(Pops is laughing as he chases a butterfly with a jar. He jumps up into the air, but it keeps on flying. The butterfly lands on a bush. Pops comes up from behind the bush. He's about to catch it before...)

Benson: Come on! You know that's not the way you're supposed to do it!

(The butterfly Pops almost caught flys away. Benson, Mordecai and Rigby are seen by the tree. Rigby is holding a saw)

Mordecai: Well, this way is totally faster.

Rigby: Yeah, cuts the time in half.

Benson: But you're actually cutting it in half, you idiots! Oh and great, you managed to break the saw in the process! (Pops walks away) Now we're gonna have to buy a new one!

(clock transition to the garden. Pops is drawing a rose. He's on the stem, and then...)

Benson: What are you guys doing?! (Pops messes up the drawing) Soda?! You can't use soda!

Mordecai: Yeah, but the hose--

Benson: Oh what, it's too hard to get the hose off the shed?! (Pops looks on as he draws) Unbelievable!

Rigby: Well, at least it's diet. Nobody drinks that.

Benson: I drink diet!

Pops: (scribbles his drawing) Ugh!

Benson: Not only did you guys ruin the hose...

(clock transition to Pops in his office, playing with army men)

Pops: Okay men, this is the hour of our prominence. On my signal, charge! Woooaaahhhh-

Benson: You've GOT to be kidding me! (cut to outside. The golf cart is scratched up, and Mordecai is holding wood) Give me that! What is this, SANDPAPER?! (looks at cart) You're scratching up the whole thing!

Pops: Benson, (head is seen coming out of office) would you come see me for a moment please?

Mordecai & Rigby: Ohhhhhh! Somebody's busted!

Benson: Oh, grow up!

Mordecai & Rigby: (rapping) B-b-b-busted! Benson's b-b-b-busted!

(cut to Pops' office)

Benson: (sighs) What is it Pops? I'm in the middle of something.

Pops: Have a seat. (Benson sits down and sighs) Do you know why I called you in here?

Benson: Did you lose the colonel again? Try under your hat.

Pops: (sees colonel under hat, then puts the army men in a drawer) It's a problem concerning Mordecai and Rigby.

Benson: What else is new? Don't worry, Pops. I'll take care of it.

Pops: Then we understand each other?

Benson: Absolutely. I've already warned them—one more screw up and they're both fired.

Pops: But... Benson, I was referring to you.

Benson: What?

Pops: I'd like you to stop yelling at Mordecai and Rigby.

Benson: (scoffs) You're kidding.

Pops: Quite the opposite. It's too negative and bad for morale.

Benson: What morale? Those slackers never do anything unless you yell at them.

Pops: There's never a reason to yell at anyone.

Benson: They give me a million reasons everyday. Pfft, you just want me to be nice to them?

Pops: You don't have to be nice—just don't yell.

Benson: (sighs) Listen, Pops, I appreciate your concern, but I know how to do my job.

Pops: Benson, I think it's clear that my father puts me in charge of running the park when he's not around, right?

Benson: Yes, but--

Pops: And that means you must do what I say?

Benson: Technically, but I--

Pops: And I am ordering you to stop yelling at Mordecai and Rigby.

Benson: Pops--

Pops: Understood?

Benson: ...Understood.

(cut to outside. Benson walks down the stairs to the cart)

Rigby: So what did Pops want?

Benson: Noth-- (quick zoom out) You guys are STILL NOT-- (realizes he's yelling, so he talks through his teeth) --guys are still not done?!

Mordecai: What? You told us to take it nice and easy.

Rigby: Yeah, I get it now. It takes time to do things right.

Mordecai: You rush, you make mistakes.

Benson: (facepalms) That's not the point I was trying to make.

Mordecai: And then we started thinking—why clean something anyways? Dirt is a natural thing. It's like part of life you know? (Benson turns red)

Rigby: Yeah and like, what is a hose? Hose...

Mordecai: Hose...

Rigby: Hose?...

Mordecai: Hose... (Benson growls, still red)

Rigby: Yeah, exactly. But when you turn it on... (accidentally sprays water on Benson) ...Sorry.

Benson: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! (Mordecai & Rigby run away)

Pops: Benson, what did we just discuss?

Benson: Yeah, but come on Pops. They were totally--

Pops: Benson, I'm serious about this issue. Now if you yell at them again, I'm going to have to write you up.

Benson: (rubs face and growls) Okay, okay. I'll try to get it under control.

(clock transition to computer room. Benson's on the computer searching "Free anger management tips")

Benson: Recite a personal mantra. Omm? What does that even mean? Next. (searches again)

Fitch: Oh, hello friend! I'm Fitch Munderson. (a dog runs up to him) And this is Kimmy.

Benson: Okay, where's this going? (fast-forwards the video)

Fitch: We have a sure-fire way to help you control your anger, for only sixty dollars.

Benson: Nope. (searches again while the screen is loading, then clicks several times while the screen is still loading) Ugh, come on! Close! (growls) Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm. (sighs) Huh. I guess it works.

(cut to downstairs. The whole place has been torn apart. M&R are seen searching for something)

Mordecai: Hey, Benson. Have you seen the keys to the cart?

Benson: Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm. Omm.

Rigby: We can't find them anywhere. (breaks vase) Uh-oh.

(From the window, two people are seen driving the cart)

Mordecai: Never mind. I think I know where they are.

Benson: Aaaggghhh!!!

Mordecai & Rigby: Agh! (run away)

Pops: Benson! I've warned you. (writes on clipboard)

Benson: Pops, you're writing me up?

Pops: You know what happens next, don't you? (hands Benson the paper)

Benson: Of course—verbal warning, write up, fired. But you wouldn't fire me, Pops.

Pops: I'll do what I must.

Benson: What?! Pops, you can't take this job away from me! It's all I have!

Pops: I'm sorry, Benson. If you yell at Mordecai and Rigby again, I'll be forced to fire you. (Pops leaves. Benson turns red and begins to jump several times)

Skips: Jeez Benson, try counting to ten. (Benson turns around and grunts) Better make it a hundred. (leaves)

Benson: 1, 2... (cut to outside) ...7, 8, 9... (cuts to near the shed) ...75, 76, 77... (stops and sees M&R covered in pink paint laughing)

Mordecai: Oh, hey Benson! What's up? We're finally painting the shed. (Rigby throws himself on the wall, followed by Mordecai, who goes through the wall)

Benson: (turns red and growls) 78, 79, 80, 81...

Rigby: Dude, what's he doing?

Benson: (continues counting) 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87....

Mordecai: I dunno. But what do you think he'll do when he get to a hundred?

Mordecai, Rigby & Benson: ...88, 89, 90, 91... (Benson stops and growls)

Mordecai & Rigby: ...92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99...

(cut to Benson walking into Corners bookstore. Benson puts the Fitch & Kimmy book on the table, leaving a firey handprint. The cashier checks the book, then, Benson walks out as the scene cuts to Benson's apartment, room 1635. Benson inserts the tape into the Walkman and rests)

Fitch: (over Walkman) The key to managing your anger is control. For example—one should never yell, even if it's to pass the salt

(zoom into Benson's eyes. He has a flashback to when he was a child and his family was all talking loudly at the dinner table)

Young Benson: Pass the salt, please.

Benson's Father: Quiet! Benson has something he wants to say.

Young Benson: (embarrassed) Um, pass--

Benson's Father: Look here, son! You're never gonna get anything in this life if you don't yell for it!

Young Benson: Pass... pass the salt!

Benson's Dad: Atta boy!

(Benson's dad passes the salt shaker to Benson. Suddenly, an earthquake occurs, showing Pops ripping off the roof)

Pops: Benson! You're fired! (points at Young Benson)

Benson: NO!!!!!!!! (ripple transition back into Benson in his apartment. He steps on and throws the Walkman, breaking a portait. He then jumps into the TV, and we cut to outside, still hearing Benson screaming. An easy chair is thrown out and breaks a window. Benson looks at himself in the mirror. He's red again) '''Keep it together, Benson. You still got a whole day of work left.'''

(cut back to the park where Benson is angrily walking and leaving fiery footprints in the ground)

Guy: Hey buddy, are you ok?

Benson: (knocks him out of the way) I'm Fine! Fine!

(Mordecai and Rigby drive fast past Benson in the golf cart. Mordecai is driving blindfolded)

Rigby: Almost the record, almost the record! (they crash into a tree and fall to the grass) Not quite the record.

(Mordecai and Rigby come up to Benson, who is already heated with rage.)

Mordecai: Benson, uh look, we're sorry man--

Benson: No...

Rigby: (worried) Aw man, here it comes.

Benson: I'm not gonna yell.

Mordecai: Aw, yeah-yuh!

Rigby: Sweet!

Benson:''' I'm not... gonna... yell.'''

(zoom into Benson's glass. His gumballs turn a bright orange, then, four gumballs go up in the air, catching on fire, then the rest catch on fire, and the four gumballs spin in a circle. Sparks then appear on Benson's body as he gets more and more angry but tries not to yell)

Mordecai: Whoa Benson, are you o-- (Benson becomes an orb of fury, burning all ground around him and sucking in loose objects. He then hovers into the air) What the?

(The ground below crumbles, as Mordecai and Rigby back away. The golf cart flies toward Benson and is destroyed. Skips and Pops come in another golf cart)

Skips: What happened?!

Mordecai: I don't know! Benson saw us crash the cart, and instead of laying into us, he said he wasn't gonna yell!

Rigby: And then he turned into that!

Skips: He's holding all of his anger in.

Mordecai: Why would he do that?

Pops: Because of me!

Mordecai, Rigby, and Skips: What?!

Pops: I told him that if he didn't stop yelling at you two, I would fire him.

Skips: Pops. you can't do that.

Pops: But I am technically his boss.

Skips: Pops, you can't make him bottle up his anger like that. You gotta get him to yell at you guys.

Mordecai: Not a problem. Hey, Benson! You're a sorry excuse for a manager!

Rigby: Yeah, you nasal-voiced, loser-loner!

Mordecai: Go back to nice school and learn how to have a personality!

Rigby: And guess what! We're the ones that keep sending pizzas to your apartment!

Mordecai: And we're the ones who switched the detregent with coffee. (orb of anger gets bigger) Dude! It's just making it worse! Pops, you have to tell Benson it's okay to yell at us!

Pops: I can't! There's never a reason to yell at people!

Mordecai: Pops! Look around! The park is disintegrating, and Benson's gonna explode! (Muscle Man flies by in his trailer, screaming) Pops! Do something!

Pops: Benson, I need you to yell at Mordecai and Rigby!

Benson: But if I yell, you'll fire me.

Pops: Forget what I said, Benson! If you don't yell at Mordecai and Rigby right now, you're fired!

Benson: (screams, shooting a beam straight through the orb and striking Mordecai & Rigby) YOU LAZY NO GOOD SLACKERS DRIVE ME NUTS!!!! CAN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME ONCE IN YOUR WORTHLESS LIVES?! 'CAUSE IF YOU DID YOU'D SEE THAT I'M TRYING TO TEACH YOU SOME SIMPLE RESPONSIBILITY, SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A JOB WELL DONE!!! BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW A JOB WELL DONE IF YOU PAID SOMEONE TO DO IT FOR YOU, AND EVEN THEN YOU'D SCREW IT ALL UP ON THE ACCOUNT THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN FOLLOW THE SIMPLEST OF INSTRUCTIONS, WORRYING MORE ABOUT LOOKING COOL THAN DOING YOUR JOB!!!!'

(explodes. Pan down to the damage done)

Pops: Benson! Benson, are you alright?

B enson: Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry things got so out of control, Pops.

Pops: It was my mistake. From now on, I'll leave park managing to the park manager. (shakes hands with Benson) Though, I do wish you wouldn't yell at Mordecai and Rigby so much.

Benson: Let me give it a shot. Hey, Mordecai and Rigby. (Mordecai coughs) Clean this mess up, or you're fired. (He, Pops and Skips all laugh. A high pitched noise is heard, but the laughter cannot, due to Mordecai and Rigby getting deafened, by Benson's yelling)

Mordecai: What? (turns head to Rigby) What are they laughing at?

Rigby: What?!

(end of "Think Positive")